Starting chemo September 2014

I totally agree with ilovepugs!  You women are amazing.  I'm retired and have the luxury of being able to stay home and take care of myself.  I can imagine dragging myself out of bed and going to the office on some of these days, but not many.  God bless all of you.  Your children are always going to remember how Mom took care of us even though she was in a battle with breast cancer.  

ilovepugs:  have to tell you about this little pug that lived a couple of doors away from us.  His name was Moe.  Cutest little guy.  One day I came home from work to find Moe sitting out by the curb at the end of his family's driveway.  I was afraid for him so I picked him up and took him to his house but no one was home.  So, I took him home till the neighbors came back.  I had a not-too-friendly cat at that time and could not believe how well the two of them got along.  Really, my cat hated everyone except me.  They both sat up on the back of a chair watching out the window for Moe's mom to come home.  Apparently, one of their sons forgot he had let Moe out and left home without bringing him back in.  i love pugs, too.

I'm having my best day today after a truly miserable one yesterday.  Let's just say I made a run to Walgreens for some Preperation H and leave it at that.  Ha.  Hope everyone has a good day today, too.

I'm one of the chemo mommies. I have 3 sons, two high school aged, the other in sixth grade.

I am having a horrible day. My oldest son is very difficult.... and has been since way before this cancer stuff. My son is one of those incredibly intelligent, gifted kids. He amazes me.... But sadly, he isn't making good decisions. He isn't doing his school work consistently (at his choice, he is in AP classes) and currently is "earning" 3 Fs , 2 Ds and an A. We have him in counseling, but it doesn't seem to be helping. This morning, once again, he was not ready to go to school on time. He is defiant and places blame on everyone else... It's heart breaking. All of the usual parenting techniques don't work with him. One of my dear friends is a family therapist... and even she is stumped and doesn't know how to advise me. And she's a good enough friend to point out where I have made mistakes... and I love her for it.

Anyway, I just needed to share that because this strong mommy has been sitting here in tears for the last 3 hours.... Thanks for letting me share my frustrations. It's so hard because I'm fighting for my life and trying to keep things as normal as I can for my family...

Poppy

Poppy, I know what you're going through. With me, it was my daughter.  Super smart, pretty, etc., etc.  But just decided in her senior year of high school to turn into a little monster.  Cut classes, drugs, sneaking out of the house, you name it, she did it.  We went to counseling, we talked until we lost our voices, nothing worked.  She blew off college in her first year.  Cost us a bundle for nothing.  She then moved out of state with a friend.  She was gone for almost two years.  Whatever happened during those two years I can't really tell you but, by the grace of God, she came back to us the way she was before the trouble all started.  I think it was all about drugs, independance, things like that but I'll never know for sure.  We kept in touch with her while she was gone as best as we could.  The day she called and said she was coming home and could she stay with us was the happiest day of my life.  I have only one child and I love her to pieces but those couple of years were hell on earth.  

I know this doesn't make you feel any better know that things might get worse before they get better but all you can do is your best.  Keep loving him the way you always have and pray for his safety.  The serenity prayer got me through a lot of nights.  My prayer for you is that he comes around soon.  You know all those good things you instilled in him while he was growing up are still in there somewhere.  Eventually, he'll reconnect with them and you.

Ladies - I have a 16 month old baby who cries all day when I leave her for chemo.  She's with my mother  in law but she isn't used to being with anyone for too long.  Lately different family members have to come over during the day to help me out or let me go upstairs to nap and I hear her yelling "mommy, mommy, mommy"  Then the other day I heard her say "mommy sick" and I lost it.  She is too young for to know, yet she does.  

Yesterday was my fifth infusion.  It didn't go too well.  My veins are tiny and will not tolerate the chemo.  My one vein they keep switching to when I am in too much pain has now developed sclerosis. I have to get a port on Tuesday and next Wednesday is chemo #6, the halfway mark.  Praying all goes well.  I really did not want a port and am a little depressed by it.  I cried last night - that "why me" cry for a long time.  Some days are just not great  

Hope everyone is feeling well today.

if anyone needs some navigation in getting support for their child, message me if you like

Kath

Sending dog cuddles to you all. This is Hogan.

Oh Poppy, teenagers are one of life's unexplained mysteries. We went through similar stuff with my son. He too was in AP classes, fabulous grades, scary smart kid. Until sometime in his junior year of high school when it all went off the rails. Cutting class, smoking pot, heaven knows what. He managed to graduate high school with okay grades, and spent the next few years playing at going to college.

Flash forward, he is now 30 years old, has an MBA, a great job, wife and the most perfect four year old daughter ever born (yes I am a very proud grandma). And today they are closing on the purchase of their first home. So, as they say, it gets better.

The ride can be rocky, but I'm sure you didn't make THAT many mistakes and your son's basic smarts and fundamental upbringing will ultimately overcome this teenage angst. He'll figure it out, but I know as a parent it's hard to stand by and watch.

question....does anyone else have horrible pain in the soles of their feet?  No tingling, just pain

Last night was such a rough night for me. I was lying in bed in tears, begging God to lift some of this heavy burden from me. I was in so much emotional pain, and worrying about how I am going to get through all of this, as a single mom, with so few resources. I am heartbroken over the loss of my marriage, so worried about my little boy, and so stressed out about money. Not to mention all the wonderful things that come with breast cancer. 

I woke up this morning feeling better. And the most amazing things have happened: I found an absolutely perfect apartment that I can afford, I only had to pay $100 for security deposit, I can move in Sunday and avoid another month of storage fees ($200!), my friend called me and told me that her exercise class took up a collection for me of $225 to help with expenses, and 6 friends have offered to move my stuff on Sunday and use their trucks, so I don't even have to rent a uhaul. I'm sitting in the parking lot of my PS office crying huge tears of joy and gratitude. God is good, my friends are good, my new landlord is good, and a bunch of little old ladies in an aerobics class that I have never seen are good. You ladies here are good! I just wanted to share some good news-my faith has been tested so much through this process, and I am sure I am not the only one! Keep the faith, in God, in yourself, and each other. We are all going to get through this, and come out stronger on the other side!

Wishing you all a shower of blessings today!

My heart goes out to all of you, including myself, whom are battling this cancer with young kids to raise. An ever greater heart if you're doing this without a mate at your side. Although at times I want to just slap my husband because he thinks or feels I should be ok post 3 days chemo...hahaha on him! Just know we are all here for you. We WILL get though this! Reach out to anyone you can, don't go at this alone! Pray, yell, scream, cry, whatever you need to do to stay strong!

On another note: hair.

Its been 2 weeks since I had it buzzed as it was coming out in chunks. Its still coming out and I am at a loss on my next move. Do I go down to the scalp or just continue to let it fall out & leave these bald areas??

Stay strong my fellow sisters!

badhairday - what wonderful news! It must be such a relief to have these obstacles taken out of the way. Hooray!!

PoppyK - The kids will be alright, eventually, despite what they put themselves, and us, through. Your son and my daughter are incredibly intelligent and generally insightful, but by the same token, the bumps in the road hit them harder. Tangent warning!: I wonder what your son would say about the attempts to re-write the AP History curriculum that my board of education (Jeffco Colorado) is making an ass out of itself over. My DD has had quite an intelligent rant on the subject, and I kinda get why she really doesn't want to be any more involved in school than she has to be.

Zima - PoppyK is right, real short is great, but do NOT buzz down to the scalp! Using a lint roller on your head can help, sleeping on a satin pillowcase can ease the pricklies, and wearing a very soft cap at night can keep your head warm while keeping shedding hair off of everything. Been there, done that, not looking forward to doing it again!

I'm so glad to see the positive vibes out there today and good things happening to good people!

I'm getting depressed by the whole food situation. I'm a "foodie" who loves cooking, eating and great wines. Now, every meal is an ordeal. Most foods taste horrible and wines taste like turpentine. This seriously takes some joy out of my life.

Best new SE: no more shaving under my arms!

badhairday, I'm sitting here in tears of happiness for you.  I had a bad night and woke us in a bad mood this morning.  Your post put everything back in perspective for me.  Sometimes I don't realize how fortunate I am and that I really need to work on my gratitude.  Thank you.

Poppy, enjoy those moments when they happen.  Living with a teen is a giant roller coaster ride.  The trick is to hold on tight and hope you don't fall off.😊

Kind of a cold, rainy day here in Chicago today.  Think I'll turn on the fireplace and cuddle up with my kitty.  My gratitude of the day!  Hope all are well today.

KayaRose - You mean to say that you're not still having the storm of the century from Thursday evening?!? That's what my sister laughingly called it. I was watching the lightning as we were Skyping.

I grew up in the far south 'burbs, and still have family in Tinley Park. I absolutely adored my grandma's home in Northbrook when I was a kid back in the '60's.

I've got a cranky old cat as my cuddle buddy, which just goes to show that he cares a lot more than he likes to let on. Stay nice and cozy with your kitty, sounds like a good day for it!

Not a great night. We went out to dinner and I made the mistake of trying bruschetta. The acids in the tomatoes burnt my mouth. I managed to get down a couple of ravioli but then I was up at 3:30 with heartburn and an upset stomach. Feeling tired and crabby today.