I feel stupid, but lately I've been depressed again...

I don't have the diagnosis your are looking for, but I can relate to the 'funk' and it is always worse in October for me too.  All the morning shows have some sort of story on it and sometimes they are not happy endings but still supposed to lift us up in inspiration.  You should do a story on how October and Pink make many survivors anxious and even angry.  Anxious because it's a daily reminder for an entire month and angry because of how the movement has been abused by corporations and organizations a marketing tool.  I always express my feelings about October to my friends and then give them some charities that only go to research as options.  If you do that story, please, please post it here!    

I agree- 2 years is just long enough for the shock to have blunted slightly but the adrenaline surge which gets you through treatment to plunge and hit you hard. I suffered depression at this stage- just when everyone thinks you should be able to pick up the strands and adapt to your new normal. Well, it didn't happen for me. I'd gone back to teaching in a Further Education College but only got to October before I had to stop work again. I just couldn't speak to people and that was a teeny problem given that I teach English and love discussing the literature. When my dear colleagues did try to help I would start to cry and once started, couldn't stop.

I think we are under enormous pressure at this stage. Be kind to yourself and don't consider valid worries and concerns to be "whining". I think it's an additional strain for everyone diagnosed around this time of year as we face our cancerversaries and all the b....y pink!! At least the leaves are orange and red!!

I share your feelings for sure.  I too am put off my all the PINK.  I have not worn anything pink from my closet since my diagnosis in June. October puts in my face at every turn, how I have a disease that could kill me...after it highjacked my life.  I just returned from a trip and saw pink ribbons and marketing efforts by the airlines to promote breast cancer awareness month.  I turned away.  I don't trust the awareness campaign because it was dreamed up and promoted by a drug company. Im not even sure if the research money even goes to the kind of cancer I have since its in the small minority of breast cancers.

On another note... I have read extensively on ILC and have read very very little on triple positive.  Hope you are able to connect with someone else who shares your specific diagnosis.  

how much of this money goes direct to the charity? 

Don't feel  stupid about how miserable life can get after they destroy our lives, our sense of ourselves. I know that some combination  of causes , like estogen mimics in plastics or secondhand smoke  exposure  from my mom aflicted me with this horrible business.  (No family hx). I am still  very sad and angry. Not all the time, but c bothers me every day somehow  someway.  I hate that stupid  breast cancer  awareness  month. Did you all see that movie Pink Ribbon Inc? I think that is the name.  You can buy  or  rent it at Amazon.com.  It shows you  that it's all a for profit money  making racket. I doubt they will  ever come up with a cure here in the USA , too much money  to lose.  My husband thinks a cure will come from some country that is poor or does socialized medicine and has removed the profit motive from the research equation.  I take the alternative less traveled road and i feel much safer and less sad/nervous. I see an oncology  trained Naturopath, who helps me. I don't go back to cancerland anymore, hated it there.