diagnosed this week

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vacindy48
vacindy48 Member Posts: 4
edited August 2014 in Just Diagnosed


I was diagnosed 8/8/14. At this time I don't really know all the stats. I do know it's not the triple threat. The lump/mass is in my left breast and I do have a lymph node that is infected which scares me. The radiologist said the surrounding nodes look good. I an scheduled for MRI on 8/13 and have an appt on 8/21 with a surgeon. My feelings emotions are all over the place. Now I think everything that is wrong with me is cancer related...my leg hurts or if my back is sore..just crazy thoughts. Completely overwhelmed ...

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2014

    ((((((Hugs)))))) You are not alone. We are all here for you, and can help you navigate this time. 

    We are thinking of you, and please keep us posted on how you are. 

    Warmly, 

    The Mods

  • Janet456
    Janet456 Member Posts: 507
    edited August 2014

    Sorry to hear that you've been diagnosed.  It is very overwhelming in the beginning..... it does get better though.

    The shock is awful but now you have appointments lined up so they will tell you what they are going to do about it.  That's when it will start to become easier for you.

    Hugs x

  • vacindy48
    vacindy48 Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2014


    thank you I appreciate the kind words. I feel like I am slowly losing it. I'm sorry I am having a horrible moment right now can't stop crying don't want the family to see me so I am on the front porch watching and listening to the neighborhood sounds thinking how normal it is I have time bomb in me. This stinks. I keep imaging the worst. Just can't seem to get it together.

  • Janet456
    Janet456 Member Posts: 507
    edited August 2014

    You're not losing it, what you are feeling is perfectly normal.  The beginning is the absolute worst.

    Don't be afraid to get a prescription for anxiety medication - it's a godsend at times like this.

    It really will get easier, for now, just keep taking deep breaths and take baby steps xxxx

  • vacindy48
    vacindy48 Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2014


    thanks so much Janet. I am going to see about some anxiety medicine. I think I need to stop reading so much. All the different numbers and stages freak me out more right now. my radiologist who did the ultrasound and biopsy's and gave me the news said it is treatable and I am trying to hang on to. Just nervous about the MRI now hoping nothing else shows up. I swear if I could get surgery and treatment today I would ... Want it out of me.

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2014

    ((((hugs)))) vacindy48. You aren't alone. Everyone here understands exactly how you are feeling, and Janet is correct, the beginning is very difficult. We're all here for you! 

  • Nancy2581
    Nancy2581 Member Posts: 1,234
    edited August 2014

    I am so sorry.  I know exactly where you're at.  I was just diagnosed in June.  As others have said you're in the hardest spot right now.  Big hugs to you.

    Nancy

  • PoppyK
    PoppyK Member Posts: 1,805
    edited August 2014

    VaCindy,

    I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I kept it together really well, then it all hit me. I was having such a difficult time that I was afraid my anxiety would interfere with my ability to make good, informed decisions. I talked to my doctor and was prescribed Zoloft. I feel so much better about my ability to think and make decisions now.

    It is normal to be shocked, saddened and preoccupied. But don't be afraid to ask for help.

    Good luck with your MRI!

  • Nessa1028
    Nessa1028 Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2014

    You are not alone. I'm really glad I found this site tonight. I was diagnosed on 8/7/2014. I'm experiencing the same type of anxieties. I'm grateful for an awesome support system (including survivors), my faith in God, and folks like you. We will get through this!

  • vacindy48
    vacindy48 Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2014


    thank you all for the support and kind words. I'm really trying not to freak myself out or do awhile lot more reading until we get the MRI results and I talk to the surgeon. I can't believe it had just been a week when it seems so much longer. Family is being very supportive and doing what the can to help. Just wish treatment was started all ready because right now just feel helpless and out of control.

  • Obxflygirl1
    Obxflygirl1 Member Posts: 377
    edited August 2014

    I soooo know what you are going through.  This is the hardest time...the waiting. Your mind is going all over the place, your stomach is in your throat, and every waking minute you feel like you are in a nightmare.  We've all been there and it isn't a walk in the park, but you have come to the right place for advice, info and support.   Once you know the pathology and have a plan, you will be in the fight mode.  Don't be afraid to ask for meds if you need help sleeping or coping with the stress.  Now is the time to put yourself first.  I'm not far from you...on the Outer Banks.  I was diagnosed 2 years ago this August 14.  Please PM if I can help you in any way.  

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited August 2014

    I know exactly what your feeling as do most of us, we are here for you and once things get place appointments erc things will mellow out but right now I do remember that overewhelming feeling, But hang in there I want to lift you up by encouraging you with this: I am a020 yr SURVIVOR(Praise GOD) and so again hang in there sweetie. msphil(idc,stage 2 , 3 nodes, L mast chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen found lump myself and ALL while planning for my wedding) 

  • Ilovecoasters
    Ilovecoasters Member Posts: 199
    edited August 2014

    I'm right there with you. My MRI is 8/22 and my follow up to discuss treatment is 8/26. I'm so freaked out right now I don't know which way is up. I know we will get through it, it will be a journey. 

    Michelle

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2014

    Sending you all many (((((((hugs))))))!

  • vbishop
    vbishop Member Posts: 616
    edited August 2014

    the very BEST advice I received was "go with what you KNOW" and don't worry about the what ifs.  You don't try to board the train before it gets to the platform, right?  Stick with what you know to be true today.  Stopped many pity parties in their tracks for me.  Also, stay OFF the Internet (except here).  Too much conflicting and outdated info.  

    Huhs.  You will get through this!

  • DallasCowboyFan
    DallasCowboyFan Member Posts: 7
    edited August 2014

    Hi Vacindy,

    You are not alone for sure.  Just remember to breathe -- take deep breaths.  Cry as often and as much as you feel it.  Don't feel bad about feeling bad and apologize to no one for having crazy emotions that you can't explain or control.  I still have days, not as many now where I get so emotional that it gets the best of me.  I go with it until it passes.  

    I was officially diagnosed on valentines day this year.  I went through all the tests, mam, biopsy, MRI, genetic testing.  My diagnosis was ER+, PR-, Her2 - plus 1 which essentially is considered negative.  Cancer was in my left breast.  I had a mastectomy in April and lymph node surgery in May.  My quick pathology during 1st surgery had lymph nodes being negative, but final path a week later showed one out of two positive.  My surgeon said this only happens about 5% of the time so it was unusual.  2nd surgery to remove remaining lymph nodes (6 more) went smoothly.  Final path on those was negative ( a win for me). 

    I am typing this message as I sit for my 6th chemo treatment.  Two more to go and then wait for 6-8 weeks to finish my reconstruction. It is a full blown journey.  Patience is a virtue.  Ask lots of questions and worry not if you think any are crazy.  Be an advocate for yourself.  It took me 6 months to come to full acceptance and once that happened, I became a new person.  I am working full-time through the treatments and traveling for work every week.  I take my chemo day off every two weeks.  Not making it sound easy because it is not, but I think I am doing ok considering.  I just discovered this site about two weeks ago and wished I had found it sooner. I, too, did tons of reading and research which made me crazy.  My only regret to date is that I did not have a double mastectomy.  In hindsight I wish I had.  Hope this is helpful. Many blessings to you as you begin the journey that none of us want to be on.  Let me know if I can help in any way.  Lots of wonderful women on this site.

  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited August 2014

    I too remember those exact feelings that all that hurt was the cancer, But sweetie, things will become more bearable, hang in there this coming from a 20 yr Survivor(idc,stage2,0/3 nodes, L mast, chemo and rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen) hang in there sweetie.

  • melissamae40
    melissamae40 Member Posts: 6
    edited August 2014

    it is an awful experience. Diagnosed in July 2014.. Trying to decide on treatment.

    It will get better 

    Hugs 

  • Pita119
    Pita119 Member Posts: 85
    edited August 2014

    Hi Vacindy and all of you other ladies,

    I too was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma on 8/8/2014 and am in the process of all the doctors appts and testing.  Both my grandmother and mother had breast cancer so I think it has always been in the back of my mind that I too would some day face this issue.  I've done everything recommended to try to prevent it from taking Tamoxifen for 5 years to yearly mammograms and self exams and still developed it.  I'm told that the masses are small and that it is early stage so that is a positive.  Remember that we all are not alone and will get through this.  Will keep in touch.

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2014

    Dear Pita116, welcome to BCO but sad you had to find us.

    You seem to have tried to do much more than the normal but still received the dreaded Dx.

    We hope that the nodes are clear and you have caught it early through your diligence. We send (((HUGS))) as we know how frightening this waiting for everything to happen is. You are most definitely not alone as there will be lots 'in your pocket' for your future processes.

    Let us know how you go as we are here to help. If there is anything you need to know let us know as the sisters on this forum want top help, as do we.

    We assume you've read up on IDCInvasive Ductal Carcinoma on the main site too, and now have to make some major decisions. We hope the huge amount of info and experience on here helps you in making the decisions for your case. We wish you the best.

    The Mods

  • Pita119
    Pita119 Member Posts: 85
    edited August 2014

    Hi Mods,

    Yes, I have done a lot of research the past few weeks.  Of course, having taken my mom to and from all of her appointments had given me a lot of info.  It's been 10 years since she passed and I can not believe how much treatment options have changed.  So right now, I am waiting for the genetic tests to come back.  I've seen the surgeon who will be doing a lumpectomy.  She says I will need a minimum of radiation.  I've seen the medical oncologist who did another exam & explained the pathology report again and gave me some info on what we can do.  I will see the radiation oncologist tomorrow.   In two weeks, I see the plastic surgeon.  Once the genetic tests are in I will have more of an idea of what course of treatment I will opt for.  It's a lot but I'm glad that there are so many good forms of treatment out there.  I will keep in touch.  Thanks

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 5,712
    edited August 2014

    Your feelings are completely understandable no matter what they r. Keep coming back here

  • jmoolten
    jmoolten Member Posts: 17
    edited August 2014


    Img_2697

    Joined: Aug 2014
    Posts: 11

    jmoolten wrote:

    Anyone w/ intermediate onc and high mamma print not doing chemo or tam?

    Onc
    was intermediate score which put me in 40% possibility of high or low
    or uncertain scoring. Took mamma print which came back high. Anyone
    with similar experience not doing chemo and tamox? What has been your
    experience and how did you decide what to do and are you confident about
    that choice and if so why?

  • bluepearl
    bluepearl Member Posts: 961
    edited August 2014

    I remember the first time. I live in a rural area and I wandered around the woods, crying and crying and asking "what will I do, what will I do!" then started walking all over the place, about 10 miles a day.....crying and crying. It is an awful place to be, but you do get through it, often with a little help (ativan for me) The second time was easier in that now I knew what was in store. Do NOT do this journey alone. However you find it,,,,friends, partner, groups.....find that support! We ALL NEEDED IT AND STILL NEED IT. What you are going through will be an existential crisis and yes, you will find your way out of this very dark place. You WILL. ((((HUGS))))

  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited August 2014

    JMoolten, I sent you a personal message. Kris Kuziel

  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited August 2014

    Vacindy, Reading your posts is like having someone read mine back to me when I first came to this sight. I remember one wonderful lady saying, "Breathe, you're not dying - at least not today. It's going to by okay." (By the way she was a long time survivor of stage IV breast cancer and still doing very well - kind of put it all in perspective) Well of course I didn't believe her at the time - but she was right. Just like everyone else has said the beginning is the worst, once you have a plan it becomes better, kind of like a routine (not always a nice routine - but a routine) Once you begin to get some answers it will all become more manageable (but in the mean time do consider something to help you relax - my magic pill was Xanax  -don't know if the small amount I was prescribed did anything - but mentally I felt better) 

    I too remember looking at random people and being envious because I believed they had not a care in the world - and for me the sky was falling. This too will pass as you see the direction you are going and how each step of this journey will make you stronger and more focused on what you need to do.

    Wishing you the best of luck - there are tons of wonderful supportive people on these boards that will help you through every step of this journey. It has been my one regret that I won't been able to thank them all personally for the time and effort they gave me when I needed their experience. Let us know how you are doing. Kris

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