The hardest part about cancer

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  • ganzgirl2010
    ganzgirl2010 Member Posts: 235
    edited August 2014

    thank you HomeMom !

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited August 2014

    Check at your treatment center for support groups. 

    Or start a new thread on BCO for women in your area interested in a meet up.

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  • Notbuyingit
    Notbuyingit Member Posts: 1,035
    edited August 2014

    I agree & was hoping to start a discussion group through the cancer center I went to for rads - but i have been lax in doing so :( They have a once a month meeting for BC patients but it's in the next town over - farther for me - and being once a month - when the worse of the ordeal only (hopefully) last about a year - that isn't really enough - & they are at 7 - which when you feel like crap - is too late. I was thinking of once a week , like 6ish..just an open discussion group with maybe a couple of topics - because, as i said also - you just wanted to connect with someone going through the same thing. 

              I went to one of those Feel Good Look Better affairs & actually got shushed for talking to a lady at my table - who obviously just wanted someone to talk to - we didn't introduce ourselves or get to say what stage of the process we were in or anything - it was like a Mary Kay party - to women who, quite frankly, didn't care about how to apply eye shadow....i know others have enjoyed them but ours was pretty sad.

             I went to an open house this facility had a couple weeks after i was done & my husband said "don't you know anyone?" & i said no - i never got to talk to any other patients - just a hi & bye to the woman before & after me in Rads...yet there are probably 1000 women going through treatment at that facility at any given time....

    anyway...thank God for this website & these threads & God bless you all

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited August 2014

    I was contacted by the breast nurse in my area before I even had my surgery to tell me there was a group that meets once a month in my town and they had invited me to their Christmas meeting. I really didn't want to go, but I was new in town and didn't want them to think I was a snob for not going. It turned out to be the best thing I could have done.

    The lady who started the group had done so, just about a year before and they had about 9 regular members, it is now another 18 months on and there are regularly 21 of us. We have guest speakers every other month or we just catch up for a chat and coffee. We have been out to the movies and lunch and I have made some fantastic, friends. We only speak of BC if someone wants to ask a question or wants to discuss something specific, with our collective experiences, we can usually help out. We meet in a room attached to our local Community Center, take a gold coin donation ($1or $2) which covers the tea, coffee and milk costs and we put the rest away for if anyone is doing it tough and needs something, or to put towards an outing.

    It isn't difficult to organize one of these groups, if there isn't one available near you. I have been looking after this one for the past year or so, since the lady who started it was unwell and then went on a long holiday. You'd be amazed how helpful and accommodating people will be when they know what the cause is. Our local paper advertises our meetings for free and the room is free for the 2 hours we meet. There is a fairly active volunteer base in our town and they do a lot for raising funds for BC and they have also donated to our group too.

    We have all stages and ages, in our group, some in treatment, some with recurrence after many years, the support and friendship is wonderful, everyone just understands!

    I was a volunteer for Look Good Feel Better many years ago and you're right, it isn't there for anything other than, a few hours of beauty oriented fun.

    I hope you find a group, or start one, that you can enjoy. It is a really worthwhile thing to do, we have women who are living alone and are isolated, who come to our meetings. I can highly recommend it!   

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  • HomeMom
    HomeMom Member Posts: 1,198
    edited August 2014

    The one group in my town is called Pink Ribbon Ladies and it is mad up of women who have survived bc and while that is nice, I wanted to connect with other women like I meet here who are still going through treatment. I plan to go to one of their meetings, most likely when I'm finished with treatment 

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited August 2014

    Hi HomeMom, if it is anything like the group I belong to, it will be ever changing. There have been 11 new members arrive in the short time, several just beginning treatment, some further into it. I have been attending our "Pink Ladies" and this is just the group in my small town, of about 2000 people. It truly feels like it's an epidemic, out there!

    I too, really enjoy the communication with the women here on the boards, I found both outlets at the same time, just a few weeks before my Mx surgery and although I connect here  every day, I really enjoy the monthly contact with the women at the meeting too.

    I wish you all the best! 

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited August 2014

    I went to the Look Good Feel Good thing too. I never was into make up, drove an un air conditioned school bus, in Fl. Even mascara melted off. The meeting, for me, was an afternoon out of the house. The stuff I received would not have worked for me. The few questions I had, they couldn't answer. 

    I would never discourage someone from going. It just wasn't right for me. 

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  • HomeMom
    HomeMom Member Posts: 1,198
    edited August 2014

    Thanks Ariom, I should call them at least and see what it is all about. I had signed up for the Look Good Feel Better class, but at the time didn't realize the timing was bad. I had A/C treatment on the friday and Monday was the class. I was sick at home.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited September 2014

    Barbe you would make a great counselor - really - i enjoy your posts and advice.  I find it helpful -

    alienwish - maybe you can google your area to see if they have a Center for Survivorship - there is one 15 mins from my place, they have support group 1 x month just for BC - it is super - and yoga, meditation, pilates, spinniiiing - nutrition - all stuff that helps any cancer survivor survive!  google it - they are all over the country...

    also young survivors coaltion has outposts all over - and meetup.com site you can make new friends based on hobbies you like - apart from illness!!!  those will help when you feel better and have energy to go out and meet people...  book clubs, walking, girls night out, social things - wine, food, shopping, hiking, art, music - holistic stuff, dancing - they have everything on meetup.com by zip code...  easy to register and FREE to sign up...  kinda fun to see what is going on near you too.

    and thank goodness for this site - none of us are ever alone on here - we are here to share tips and support whenever!  :)

    and yes I second Barbe comment - this is an emotional rollercoaster and NORMAL to have time that appears when you just feel like crying and letting out the build up of the emotions - normal - it helps to get it out so don't feel guilty by falling apart every so often - also hormones all over the place - PMS after DX is awful - I feel much more emotional past few months since DX and surgery but now realize that is ok and plan for it - I am so more tired and sensitive and tearful at that week prior - anyways hugs,,,  it is going to all work out okay!

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited September 2014

    Thanks for your feedback Sparkle, I stay on these forums to help others.

    Another thing about crying when it is appropriate, is that if you don't, you WILL cry when it is not appropriate! I've had the horror of crying in front of my boss at a trivial matter just because it was "the straw". If I had allowed myself to grieve or fear properly when I needed to, it wouldn't have happened. So, I know from whence I speak. 

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