I am having a hard time

Hi percy4,

I'm 4 years out from a low grade stage one diagnosis now. I was always a planner too so it sent me for a loop, at first I felt like I couldn't even plan for my summer garden because I might not be around in the summer, or that I might not be around for my sons graduation the year after that, but slowly as time passed that fear has descended. My best advise would be to plan for tomorrow but live for today. My takeaway from this has been to change the things I didn't like in my life, like the horrible stressful job I had at diagnosis ( that payed really well so I felt like I had to keep it ), and make time for the more important things in life, like time and experiences with your family. Keep those long term goals in place, but with a renewed sense of urgency for living a more fulfilling life today. Breast cancer made me realize that my life was more about getting through it, rather than living it, so I made a positive change. That's why I say, keep those long term goals, live like you're still going to be here until you're 90, but don't put off the things that are important to you today and learn to prioritize what's truly important in life so when it ends, either 5 years from now or 50 years from now you can smile looking back on the life you lived.

Could not agree more with Susie123's above post: "Plan for tomorrow but live for today."  I'm going on 5 years without any problems, and I hope it stays that way...but I do often think about bc, especially as my annual mammo approaches.

I am having a hard time with everything. I have been done with chemo and radiation for a year. I'm on Arimidex and I don't feel any better. The se's are bothering me a lot. I don't have a normal life. I can't even go back to work. Some days I can't even think right. I have pain nearly everyday. I have shortness of breath and weakness. I try to do something every day. Some days I can't get out bed. My body is so sensitive to every thing. I have to use all hypoallergenic products. The meds the docs give to help make me feel like a zombie I don't know what to do anymore. I need some help. I want my life back. 

Catlover, welcome to Breastcancer.org. BayouBabe's experience with SEs is a great reminder about aromatase inhibitors, as described in this section of the main Breastcancer.org site. Near the bottom of the page, there's this:

"If you're experiencing side effects from taking one aromatase inhibitor medicine, tell your doctor. You may be able to take a different medicine. Arimidex and Femara have similar chemical structures, while Aromasin has a different structure."

• The Mods

faerywings I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this.  DCIS is not life threatening, so plan away.  Seriously I don't think much about it other than the se of radiation that continue and the occasional ache or pain which gets very frustrating.  Other than that, after treatment the DCIS is gone.  And if it's not, I'll deal with it then.  I've found that avoiding the "IF's" is a major key to dealing with this.  What if you have a heart attack tomorrow, what if you get into a fatal car crash? What if you are killed or injured in a tornado?  Or paralyzed from a fall? Or have a stroke?  Or get some entirely different non related kind of cancer?   All of those scenarios are quite possible, but we still plan ahead.  We don't stop living our daily life or planning for the future.  It is annoying though when you don't know how you're going to feel from day to day.  Sometimes this rad fatigue puts a crimp on things and I get fed up with it.

Avoid the scary stories!!  I can't emphasize that enough!!   Who needs panic attacks added to the stack?  And statistics are pretty misleading because our bodies all differ.  What's the point?  It's just going to make you worry about something that likely won't happen to you.  We're all different and what happens with one person's diagnosis won't necessarily happen with your diagnosis.  Be vigilant, certainly.  But constantly dwelling on DCIS and looking for lumps and bumps every few hours, is only going to end up with you not enjoying the present and making tomorrow another day lost to worry.  

Percy, not sure if this will help or not: I was originally dx'ed with DCIS/IDC in Sept 1996. Very different back then with no Internet, little secret, BC was kept as a huge secret. I was planner, basically told I wouldn't have long, was worried all the time with a young family BUT I got through.

Life went on. Totally surprised for 2nd BC DX in Sept 2012 (the two occurrences weren't related). What I've learned since then: no matter what, worry doesn't help, it zaps strength and my focus was all wrong: wanted to enjoy what I did have. Like was said above, live for today, plan for tomorrow. Sometimes that means 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time, or 1 minute at a time. When the worry starts, have to tell myself to stop; is there something I can about what's happening? If I can, I do what I can. If I can't do anything, I let it go as I can control a whole lot of things. Ask for help, get support (BCO is the BEST for this), try to fill your life with non-cancer activities and enjoy life. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow (regardless of a BC DX) so enjoy today.

Best of luck on your cancer journey. 

Cat lover, please understand this is a process. Just when we're finished with treatments, when we think we SHOULD be better, reality sets in. Our lives will never be the same as before BC. This isn't to say it can't be wonderful or, even better, we've been given a different perspective on life. And, most important, it takes a while for our bodies to heal, and the healing process (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) just takes time, probably a lot longer than we expect or want it to be. Try to gentle to yourself.