Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

So this may be TMI, but is anyone else experiencing what I'm going through with my nails?

Most of them were that dark color, so much so that last week I put a nude polish on them to cover it up.  I took the polish off today and found that on all but my middle fingers, most of the black had grown out (which explains the nasty smell I've been noticing around my finger tips...gross).  As it's grown out, the nail has separated from my skin, leaving the huge whitened area.  I took a long shower (sorry, drought) to get my nails as soft as possible, then I cut them SUPER short.  Any other suggestions to make this SE speed along and be gone?

(Edited to add:  Oh, good, my fugly fingernails are the first post of a new page.)

Bec65 - I don't have the results from the CT scan yet, they said couple of days. But I do wonder if they saw something there would they have told me, since they obviously saw that I drove myself. I still worry about Paulette and her brain lesion.

My nails look similar to yours but only the tips are slightly lifted, I am about two weeks behind you.

Don't feel bad, Smrlvr. We're entitled to our meltdowns. After receiving much good advice--including my own haha--about painkillers, I went most of today without taking anything at all. I didn't have much pain anyway and mostly wanted to sleep. Then around 4 o'clock, despite several quick naps throughout the day, I suddenly just felt exhausted--after having done nothing at all--and the pains started back up again. By the time we had dinner, I just wanted to get something in my tummy and take an oxycodone and go to sleep (again.) By then it was 7 o'clock. No particular spot was in agony but the rolling pains (which describes it really well) were constant and frustrating and had me worn out. But then 8 o'clock came and the pains were worse and I started to wonder if I had even remembered to TAKE the oxycodone, or if I'd only thought about it. Finally around 8:30 it started to kick in, but by then my legs in particular were really hurting...so I had a meltdown of my own -- on my husband's shoulder, as usual. Seems like no matter how bad I feel, I can never really just let go and cry unless I can do it ON him. Poor guy.  By that time though I was just so tired and worn down--well, y'all know exactly what I was feeling, I'm sure. 

A few minutes of boo-hooing all over him though, and I felt somewhat better, at least.  I think tomorrow and maybe Saturday I'm gonna go ahead and stay ahead of the pain and then maybe see if things are better on Sunday for just taking it "as needed," and maybe it'll turn out to not be needed at all. Seems like if I let it wear completely off, it takes it FOREVER to kick in and do some good when I do take it. I'll give myself two good days--I've earned them at this point. Hubby is going fishing with his dad tomorrow afternoon anyway; it's a good day for me to just stretch out *comfortably* in bed and get some GOOD sleep.

Think I'm also gonna put in a call to Dr. Rockstar tomorrow and see if he wants to order me a different drug. It occurred to me tonight, after I cried all over my husband, that part of required oncology training ought to be that the aspiring doctor has to go and actually live with someone going through chemo ...through the entire ordeal. Just so they know.

In any case, if you're only taking Ativan to sleep, I wouldn't worry about being "addicted." You might be dependent on it--for sleeping--if other things like melatonin or Benadryl don't help you to sleep, but, ya know, so what if you are? I do not doubt that after all the months that I have now been on Klonopin that when the time comes for me to get off the stuff, I'll have to "wean" off it, rather than just quitting, but I'm okay with that. When the time comes, you may have to "wean" off the Ativan, but that IS, after all, the proper and accepted way of quitting that particular class of drugs; you're not supposed to just stop them suddenly if you've been taking them regularly for some time. That's NOT the same thing as being an addict who uses drugs for the fun of it and gets hooked!  

On the other hand, who knows. My brother had been taking more klonopin than I do for around six months or so, and when he stopped he just STOPPED. He said his "withdrawal" was a headache that lasted for two hours, and that was it. I guess everyone is different. For right now though, if the stuff helps you sleep and isn't hurting you in any way, and so long as you don't find you need *more and more of it* to help you sleep, I'd put that at the very very bottom of your list of worries. It's not a big thing at this point. You only need to worry if you DO start needing more of it to sleep. At that point, talk to your doctor about an alternative.

(Actually to be honest, it's okay with me if I just stay on klonopin forever, so long as I don't start to need MORE of it. I started taking it to get through the anxiety associated with all THIS, but it's done neat things for me in the meantime....like for the first time ever I can ride around in the truck with my husband now without constantly grabbing the door handle in a death grip or nearly stomping a hole through the floorboard trying to use a brake that's not there. Now I just ride around with him and look at the scenery. Turns out, when I'm not being an overly anxious passenger, he's a pretty good driver, after all. I was just paranoid.)

Edited to add: Oh yeah and I almost forgot: My  nails don't look like that, but I suspect that down the road they WILL. The bottoms of my feet are sore as crap, but my toes are mostly numb, the nails feel really weird, and my fingernails are starting to feel weird, as well. I feel like nothing good can possibly come of all that. 

I just keep repeating to myself "I'm killing cancer, it's all worth it." I sure hope so, anyway.

hi everyone: I've been reading your posts. I can identify what you're going through. It's been over three weeks since my last chemo. I'm still feeling the effects of it. I still see wound specialist and I'm using Calmoseptine on my thumbs with gauze wrapped around it. The rash I had in between my thighs and stomach is finally healing. On my body I use Lubriderm all over because it has B5. I go for an hour walk when it's warm outside if not I use my bike. I still have my port on my arm because I need it. I have to take herceptin for 18 cycles every three weeks. I should be done around March 2015.

Hi Phebe!  It's great to hear from you; I was just thinking about you last night and wondering how you were doing!  Glad to hear that rash is finally healing: rashes are among THE most annoying things in the entire world. I have ultra-sensitive skin so I get them over the least little things, like changing laundry detergents or wearing new clothes without washing them first. Keep checking in with us so we know how you are doing!

I feel very fatigued today, my legs are swollen and heavy and my eyes are burning and tired. I went to see my GP and asked him for some referrals. He actually suggested a PS that I had in mind as well. He took my throat swab as my throat has been feeling scratchy on and off for about 5 days and asked him about twitching muscles which I am experiencing in the past few days. 

Anybody else has had twitching muscles while on chemo? 

It's really annoying to say the least!

phebe: Glad you are back and recovering!

Amazon, legs, and like Lisa, one eyelid are twitchy. The eyelid twitches at random times but the legs mostly at night.

My fingernails are a little red at the base bit it doesn't seem to be moving any. They do hurt some though.

Jab. I'm really hoping I do lose my toenails. They are strangly shaped (almost like claws instead of nails) and ingrown. Loosing them would be ok for me.

Lisa, sorry you are having so much pain and fatigue. Mine isn't that bad, yet at least. The bottoms of my feet started hurting today. I was really hoping to work through the rest of the chemo, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to, since the SEs seem to keep piling up.

It's strange, but every day about 2 pm I get a fever. I'm on leviquin (again), but the fever comes on at the same time like clock work. it can really go away and stay away now. Enough.

One month from today will be the last one.I can do this. Only two more to go. I know it won't kill me, though I may hope it does when the SEs are bad. I have to keep reminding myself how much worse they could really be. So many of you have had a far worse time of it than I, and I'm truly sorry that some of you have had such pain and anxiety. My pain really hasn't been that bad. My taste buds try to work after about 7 or 8 days. My fingers may hurt some, but they aren't peeling or separating. Week after next, when I want to cry and whine, I will instead try to remember all of you, and be thankful that it isn't worse. And, oh yeah, drink more.

I'm totally sure that this would have been so, so, so, so much harder, and certainly a lot scarier, if we hadn't had each other to whine to. 

wally, all: 

It's OK to cry, it's OK to vent, it's OK to commiserate, it's OK feel angry at the situation, it's OK to do whatever helps you to get through this.

We are here to give each other strength and advice. We are here to listen. 

Enjoy your weekend!

I'll be here!

Amazon, no, I didn't ice.  At the time I was scared enough to think that there may be cancer cells in my finger tips, so I wanted them to feel the wrath of the chemo!  Anyway, they don't really hurt, other than when you break a nail too short and more finger tip is out in the world feeling things than there used to be.  I found the cheapest drug store polish ever -- Wet & Wild for $1 on sale -- but it's my exact skin color and won't chip no matter how careless I am.  Go figure!

I hope everyone has an uneventful weekend, whether it be SEs, other health issues, family issues, you name it...UNEVENTFUL!!!!!!!!!!

XOXO

amazon - I developed a twitch under my left eye five weeks after my last chemo but the docs still think its chemo related along with a closed ear for two straight weeks and swelling in my ankles, shins and face.  It's powerful stuff and I swear I can still smell a hint of meds when I urinate.   On the brighter side, the extreme heaviness, fatigue, and ache in my legs is easing up!!!  And I now have def peach fuzz on my head.

I am 10 days out of my 3rd chemo CT.

  The skin on my hands and fingers have stopped peeling.  Now I am left witha feeling of numbness and, at the same time, pain when my fingernails touch anything.  It almost feels like a shock.

Also, for the first time since starting chemo I feel sores on one side of my tongue.  I have in the past rinsed my mouth with a mixture of baking soda, salt and warm water.  Only did it occasionally.  Did that just to keep sores away. Question is:  what do I do now?  Follow the same regimen, only do it more often?  I do rinse with Biotene twice a day.

I have one more session to go.  I want it all over!  It is bad enough I cannot taste food normally, but tongue sores at the same time is nasty.

Mor

Mor -- I had terrible mouth sores after my first chemo treatment (way back in November.) I saw some advice from someone on these forums to mix up a quart or liter sized bottle with 4 cups of water, 1 tablespoon of baking soda, and one tablespoon of salt, and keep that bottle in the bathroom and use it to rinse not just after eating but EVERY time I went into the bathroom, even if it was to put away wash cloths. 

This is what I have done ever since then--so ever since December. During this, I've only had the VERY occasional mouth sore, and none of them have been very sore at all and they've disappeared *quickly.* I'm kind of amazed by how successful this was, to be honest because #1. I've always been prone to mouth sores anyway, and #2., I wear partial dentures which makes me even more prone to them. So for ME, at least, this "potion" has been a lifesaver.

In fact, I've also kind of gotten accustomed to having my mouth feel THAT clean all the time, and will probably continue to rinse often with the potion even after chemo is over.

I did buy the biotene mouthwash and toothpaste at the start of chemo, but the only time I use the mouthwash is when I want to go to sleep but my mouth is too dry. It works wonders for that. The toothpaste I threw away early on because I think that for ME it was actually causing mouth sores---but now, that's just me. I've been brushing my teeth with plain old baking soda ever since.

Anyway, this is what worked (perfectly and miraculously) for me. Hope this (or something else you find quickly!) works for you, as well. 

Edited to fix typo in "recipe". 4 cups of water. I had put 2 cups, and then I went and made some and was like oh, duh.... it's FOUR CUPS of water.

Jab,lisa, wally, veronica, quirky: I believe that if so many of us are experiencing muscle twitching that it's a definitely related to chemo. I started to wonder if I am low on electrolytes, Calcium or Potassium. The muscle twitching seems like an extension to joint/bone pains it has the same rolling effect: I can never tell what muscle is going to twitch next. Sometimes I have it in my shoulder, then I get it in my abdomen, and now I have the twitching in my left calf muscle. 

How long is this going to last?!

Amazon, you may be right because your post caused me to make a connection: On the  days when I have a banana and some yogurt for breakfast, my eye doesn't twitch.

Mor, until my diagnosis, I had had canker sores my whole life.  Since then, I've used Sensodyne toothpaste and haven't had any.  Knowing how prone I was to getting them, I got the prescription for "magic mouthwash" but I haven't needed to use it.  I have used it in the past, and it does work well to make the sores not hurt as much, but it doesn't prevent them. A prescription for straight-up viscous lidocaine is good too for symptom relief.  Yay for being almost done!

Good to hear from you, Phebe....hope you're feeling better soon.

Wallymama, that's weird about your fever.  I agree -- don't know what I'd do without everyone here. 

How is everyone's weekend going?