Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

SouthernBling

Dropping in from the December 2013 group. I, too, would like some advice on getting through this and not thinking about it everyday. Is there a forum for that topic? I was very fortunate as far as my chemo SEs for the most part, but I'm up for a BMX on March 31st. That scares me more than the chemo for some reason - probably because I am such a control freak! At least I was awake for the chemo, and sweet hubby was there for all four to keep me distracted!  Don't think they will let him in the operating room, but if he could, he would be there saying, "It's going to be alright." 

Keep smilin', keep shinin'...

Palameda

Hey: If any of you would like my copy of "After Breast Cancer" or my barely used, cost $50 glue-on eyebrows, light brown (mine are starting to grow!) pm me and I'll send on to you for free.

lisa137

SouthernBling, the BMX is nothing to be afraid of really. Best advice I can give you is, if you can have hubby or someone else, stay in the hospital with you overnight, do so.

 Recovery is not especially painful, but prepare yourself ahead of time with plenty of things to keep yourself entertained; tv, books, whatever. If you have drains, and you probably will, they are the worst part. When you--or whoever--changes the dressings on them, put a dab of neosporin on the drain sites and where the stitches to hold the drains go in at -- it will keep it soft and comfy instead of dry and mildly painful and annoying. Spend your time in a recliner or on a bed with LOTS of pillows while you recover. It's really not all that bad though, all things considered, just needs some patience to recover from, but so long as you don't overdo it and are VERY careful to avoid infections and/or nip them in the bud when they occur, it's not bad. You'll do fine.

Bec65

Smrlvr, my WBCs were too low to get my port out 3 weeks PFC.  Also, my fingernails are a mess.  I think Taxol is SO underestimated!  It's the gift that keeps on giving. I have my next MO appt. 3/31.  She's going to give me the Tamoxifen prescription then to start taking 4/4 after my last radiation.  And I guess, then, I'm on my way to figuring out how to live with constant anxiety as my new normal.

I've started reading After Breast Cancer and it's really resonating with me.  However, the reason I'm probably doing fairly well right now is because I have an appointment with a therapist scheduled for next week.  I'm excited like a kid going to Disneyland!

Judy, the Starbuck's card was one of many I got from well-wishers when I was diagnosed.  I hope your DH improves quickly.  You two could definitely use a break.

Pat, I loved your "philosophical" post.  Thank you.

I'm past the half-way point of rads -- 13 of 25 are done.  So far, I just have a square-shaped reddish tan.  I'm putting Miaderm on it twice a day.  It had better be doing some good because that stuff is expensive!  Oh -- almost forgot -- I can see itty bitty eyelashes starting to grow!  I'm still envious of your eyebrows, Pat.

Wallymama, Lisa, Judy, Amazon, Northwinds, everyone...I hope you have better days than you've been experiencing and that SEs get better.  

Amazonwarrior

I am definatelly fighting a cold that I caught from my hubby. I have been having chills on and off today, sneezing a lot and my throat feel scratchy. I called my MO about the tender axilla, she said to keep an eye on it, but thinks it could be related to my current cold. Who knows?!

Here is my little chemo brain story. Last week I went to a store to buy a shampoo. So I bought one, brought it home and then realized it was a conditioner. OK, no big deal I can use a conditioner I thought. So, on Sunday I went shopping again for a shampoo. Got one exactly like I used to buy before, and when I was about to wash my hair with it I realized it was a conditioner AGAIN! 

Amazonwarrior

southernbling: I had UMX, but for me it was the first surgery ever and I found the whole experience rather traumatizing. Mind you, I had an excellent BS, whom I had total trust. I came out of surgery, spent a day at the hospital and home I went. That's Canadian health care for you! The most difficult part I found after surgery was getting in and out of bed. I had to use a ton of pillows to make myself comfortable and could sleep only on my back with my head propped up yet again with lots of pillows. I used a chair to hold on to to help me get in and out of lying position. Here is a little tip how to get up from bed: let your feet go down first, hold on to something firm and pull yourself up to sitting then stand up. 

Another tip would be to have a little travel pillow/s. I used a neck pillow called Clowdz filled with tiny styrofoam beads. I would hold it close to my chest when in the car.

First I was on Morphene, then Oxycodone, Tylenol 3, and lastly Advil. It took me about good 3 weeks to ween myself from painkillers. The sensation that I experienced after the surgery was that the site felt mainly frozen, empty and tight (I didn't have reconstruction). 

The drain was weird and annoying, but I only had it a week so in that sense manageable. I had a home nurse come every day to help monitor the drain and change the dressing.

Overall, I am happy with my decision to have UMX, because the pathology report revealed an extensive DCIS that was not picked up by prior scans.  

I am thinking of having the other one done as well, as I think it may give me better cosmetic results with delayed reconstruction. 

lisa137

Admittedly, I was fairly traumatized by my BMX as well, but it was the drains more than the pain. My pain was never bad, at least, nothing like I thought it would be. The drains really squicked me out though and I didn't even like to look at them--my surgeon swears he's never had anyone be as freaked out by drains as I was but surely there has to be SOMEONE.... Lucky for me, my husband didn't mind totally taking over drain-tending duty. Showers, for some reason, were their own special brand of trauma, but got much better once we learned to take things one step at a time and not try to do everything--undressing, removing bandages, showering, rebandaging, etc., all in one shot in the bathroom--I was getting traumatized because I was getting completely worn out. A big comfy bathrobe is a wonderful thing. Undress and remove bandages while still sitting in bed, put on bathrobe, go to shower, shower, return to bedroom in bathrobe to do everything else. MUCH better.

SouthernBling

Thanks for the tips ladies! Met with MO yesterday for a follow-up to my last chemo, and he said I had done "beautifully" during chemo. He also said he expects me to do very well with the mastectomy. He must think so because I have a follow-up with him a week later to review pathology report! I can only imagine how pretty I am going to be with no hair (okay a little hair), skimpy lashes, and 4 drains. Gotta find something cute for that visit. Sounds like a shopping trip is in order! 

lisa137

Yeah, you'll be fine a week later to meet with him. 

My husband actually dragged me out of the house on the day AFTER my BMX, lol. We went to my surgeon's office for a surprise (haha) visit because my husband wanted a demonstration on how to strip my drains and rebandage me from my surgeon's own nurse, who we'd built quite a good relationship, and hubby didn't think the instruction given us in the hospital was adequate. While we were there, the surgeon wrote me a prescription for a mastectomy camisole, which had pouches to hold the drains, and we then went to the local medical supply store to try and get that script filled--which didn't happen, but I sat in a rather uncomfortable chair and grumbled for a good 20 minutes in the meantime. (Finally wound up with a nifty belt with movable pouches which my mother-in-law made for me and didn't need the cami, anyway.)

I won't say I *enjoyed* the ride or the visit to the surgeon or the shop, but with a pillow to prop under my left arm (the cancer side, where all nodes were removed,) and a pillow for my lap (not sure why, but it helped something,) I was all good, if a little grumpy.

audra67

smrlvr-  My wbc were low at 4 weeks out and the MO said it can take up to a year to get them back to 'normal'...

I see my psychologist today, I have cancelled the last month as was too busy and went on a trip to Colorado last week.  I have been doing great mentally and physically, but I still have thoughts daily.  So I sure don't feel qualified for tips on getting back to 'normal'...I basically banish any thoughts that start to go astray and put in a good positive thought or scripture of God having good plans for me a hope and a future and long life...etc. 

I have been 'busy' all day every day and if I run out of things to do then I start to panic...so I think I'm over compensating but it is working for me. I was quite busy before I got this and I think that is 'normal' for me.   I feel like I have as much energy as I used to which is amazing and great!...I got a pedometer and keep track of my steps daily...I have tried to eat more green vegies daily and am trying to eat better, but I already ate pretty good...Trying to be type B instead of A is the real challenge.

My kids and the stress of being 'mom' and worrying for them, etc. seems to be my problem and if stress causes this??  So that is my biggest challenge to try to just be calm and let what happens- happen with them, trying to anyway..:)

Did I post that my BS told me to take aspirin 325mg Monday,wednesday, Friday, and sundays??? To prevent blood clots from the Tamoxifen....my MO said I didn't need anything.

I am switching MO's finally.  The last straw was the nurse told me to 'do what I want' in regard to Rogaine for hair growth, I called back and left message that I would like her to ask the DR and call me back, she never did.!!!!  I am seeing someone at UT Southwestern in Dallas, it will be a bigger drive but I think well worth it if I can get a real breast exam each visit and some sense of caring and knowledge.!!

My lymphedema or confused lymphatic system is still a problem, swelling to right foob area made worse by my trip...the PT thinks confused and will go away, I'm waiting - not patiently!  VERY annoying!!  I go to PT 3x/week and it does help but I missed all last week for vacation and it got bad again.  I had sentinel node out!  Why lymph problems??!!  I think the port installation and removal did it...no problems before that darn thing..

Praying for you all and you will get through it and you do have HOPE and a FUTURE!!!  Hang in there!

NorthwindsGS

Going in for second SNB for the Melanoma.  Bone scan was clear. Pet scan showed no significant findings so now three more cuts and scars and hopefully we be done with all this poking and prodding, cutting and sewing.  I know I am so done with it all.  Finish my last 4 Taxols and breeze through Rads.  Then I can  it a wrap and finish living life!  

lisa137

Northwinds, I know this will sound odd, considering you're in a hospital bed and be-scarfed and all that, but... you're so PRETTY! 

Congratulations on the "no significant findings," too. 

Audra, I don't think any of us can really avoid stress; we're adults. It goes with the territory. It's how we cope with stress, supposedly, that's the issue. Me, I'm a type B person for the most part, which means that when something DOES stress me out, I go totally off the rails because being stressed out is foreign to me. Personally I suspect that I had my cancer for years, but that it really ballooned in size over the past couple of years because I've been so stressed out about my parents and some things they were having to deal with that I didn't feel they SHOULD have to be dealing with at their ages. I laid awake at night and fumed over things I really couldn't do anything about, and here I am. I think that is my lesson to take away from all this: Fix what I can fix and take some benydryl for everything else if it won't let me sleep at night and try to forget about it.

I still have one more taxotere to go, but I suddenly have peach fuzz all over my noggin. I wonder if it will fall out from the rest of the chemo, or turn into actual hair. After all this is over, I hope to never actually see my scalp again, at least not in its entirety. I'm a Leo. I need my mane.

I'm still getting the pains from last Monday's infusion, but it's getting better, one day at a time. It was only the first two days of pain (Thursday and Friday) that were really bad. Since then it's only bad enough so that I'm really grumpy if I don't take anything for it.

Today I mostly just feel like sleeping, so that's what I'm doing. Mostly sleeping. I don't feel awful or anything, just tired and sleepy. I'm going to blame it on the weather. I'm so over winter.

wallymama

Finally feeling almost good. And food is starting to have a taste again. Woo-hoo!!

Bec, the car story was so funny. Is your hubby over his embarrassment yet?

Jab, this was my second taxotere. I'm sure, now anyway, that a lot of my issues was because I didn't drink enough. I won't let that happen again.

Pat, sure hope your pain is getting better.

Smrlve, I think part of our hubby's 'chemo-brain' problems is because they have had to take over so much of our lives for us. They have to do so many of the things we've always taken care of that they are having trouble keeping everything straight. Hopefully they will all return to normal when we get our brains back.

Amazon, just remember, you at least have hair to need conditioner for.

Audra, everyone gets stressed sometimes. I'm definitely not a type A or worrying sort. My feeling is that if I can fix something then I'll fix it. If I cant, then what's the point of stressing or worrying about it? I've mostly held on to that attitude through this. It'll will be what it will be. I'll put up a damn good fight, and throw everything at it, but in the end, it will be what it will be. I'm determined to let life be lived and try not to fixate on the what ifs that may pop up.

Bec65

Wallymama, I'm trying so hard to do what you're saying -- fix it if I can and not worry about it if I can't.  But, I also like Lisa's 2-cents -- Benedryl if its still keeping me up at night!  You two are a good team for us worrywarts!

Northwinds, I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you're for you that you're getting good scan results.  Keep 'em coming!

Audra, it's so nice to hear from you in the "moving on" phase of this!  And a new MO definitely sounds in order.

Amazon & Pat, are you feeling better?

Paulette?

Amazonwarrior

wally: Here is a pic of my hair that 'needs' a conditioner. Well, I think I better save it for later use. I have some growth in the back, but the top still shines!!!

ellenkc

Amazon -- I had a similar amount of fuzz through much of chemo, never went completely bald. But even with that amount of hair, I used shampoo and conditioner most days. Perhaps silly on my part, but it just felt like I should pamper whatever hairs were there. The conditioner also kept my scalp nicely moisturized.

I have noticed with some curiosity that my hair returned in a sort of reverse male-pattern baldness. Sides, top in front, and back came in first, while I still had lots of bare spots on top. Really just getting full coverage now.

For a while, I joked with colleagues taller than me at work (which is much of the world, as I am 5'4") that they couldn't stand around and talk with me, as they could see my bald spots. -- Ellen

smrlvr

Northwinds, I am so glad your scans were all clear.  You will get through this, just hang in there.

Bec and Audra, thanks for letting me know the low WBC is normal,after chemo.  Audra, I am happy you are moving on from all this.  

Amazon, my hair length looks like yours.  Fuzz, but mine is white and doesn't appear to be growing too fast.  I am taking biotin.  I hope it helps.

Wally, it's good that you are,getting your appetite back.

Audra, when I went to Florida a few weeks ago I noticed so e cording in my left arm.  It is really painful. I am seeing the PT Thursday.  I hope you get your issues resolved.

So I decided that since they scheduled my radiation late in the day, there is no reason, aside from bring tired, that I shouldn't go back to work.  My first day back will be this Monday, but I am going in tomorrow to get caught up and ready for Monday.  I haven't been in that building since before BMX and it is going to be weird. I have only seen a few people since I left, and they have not seen me in my wig.  Still haven't decided to,wear foobs,or not.  This is actually my first step of,going back to life before BC, and I have changed.  People will notice that too.  I used to get all worked up and stressed, but now those things don't seem important.  I just don't want my coworkers,to feel sorry for me or ask questions about things I don't want to talk about.  I guess I will just have to,see how it goes.  

wallymama

Thought I'd start the day off with a laugh. I've just realized that I have to renew my driver's license this month. And you can't wear hats. So, I get to be shiny for the next four years. 

ellenkc

Wally -- you might check whether they let you renew again once the hair grows in. I was checking on passport photos, and they said renew whenever you are ready for a different picture. Working for the DA's Office, I had to get a County ID. They allowed hats, but said I could come back for a new picture whenever I wanted.

I am at an odd stage now on hair. I have passed the "oh my, she must have been sick" look. Now it just looks like I deliberately got a really short crew cut. Must admit, I have gotten lots of compliments (it is dramatic if nothing else) and suggestions that I should keep my hair this short. We'll see! -- Ellen

NorthwindsGS

Thank you Lisa!  I don't feel very pretty lately with the eyelashes and brows gone.  

Thanks Bec65, Smrlvr, and everyone for all the support.  I find out Friday or Monday if the Melanoma spread to my nodes.  If it did I have a whole new ballgame to play.  Darn cancer.  Of course I have to be difficult and have two different kinds.  Yuck.  

The SMB wasn't as bad as I was expecting.  Have three areas with stitches and  I am off work until Tuesday as no lifting or driving. 

I have the white fuzz for hair.  I go bald at home, work and in the car.  Family and friends are used to it.  I do wear a scarf or hat in public though once it warms up they will come off also.  Ellen, I wish my hair was as nice as yours is.  

 I gave Taxol number 9 today.  Then only 3 to go.  Hopefully once all chemo is done the hair will come back home faster.....

I am hoping to get my chemo today...... Oncologist had mentioned withholding it due to surgery yesterday.  My surgeon thought it would be okay.  I want to be done with chemo and start my rads ASAP.  Summer is coming and I hear it calling me.........

Hope everyone has a terrific day!

Pam

.

jab

Hi ladies,

Northwinds - Im so glad your scans are coming back Ok. Great picture to remember this adventure by too. If you have 4 more taxols, you'll be in the back of the rads train with us other late joiners. We are going to be OK!

Amazon - Your head looks like mine. I thought I was done with the hair lose but in the last few days I have lost more 'sprouts' and am moving on to 'shiny bald'. Instead of conditioner, I feel like polish is more appropiate.

Audra - I would be considered a type A+ so totally understand the frustration of lack of control with this. I am also typically a very 'high' energy person so always want to 'take action'. If there is one thing I might have learned lately, its that the more I can get clear on what I can control and what I can't, the easier it is. Counciling helps with that. For me, if I have a 'plan' of what I can do, I feel more control over the situation. For the stuff in the grey zone (what I might be able to influence, but not control) I don't even try to control now. I am pretty sure that the energy trying is doing more harm than good. And, I have found that those around me are taking on more, which is a good thing.

Wallymama - Good to hear your doing Ok and eating again. It will be fun to explain to police the bald head of the drivers licence - Might be a good way to get out of a ticket or two....

Smlvlr - Congrats on you decision to go back to work. You have been through a lot. You might find that work is a welcome distraction.

Lisa - Are you finding the pain any worse since you've been just on Taxotere? With me, the pain has ramped up earlier with each infusion. The accummulation effect, no doubt.

The last few days have been brutal. I have not been able to walk as my arthritic joints have been swollen and very very sore. My poor DH was with me all night trying to adjust pillows and generally there for me. It is day 6 post infusion, and I am starting to feel a bit better, and I know it will continue to be better with time and I will be through the chemo tunnel.

The last few days has had me thinking about how I will honor and celebrate  this experience going forward. The word celebrate sounds odd, but, lets face it, it could be worse. We have toughed out a very difficult time, so I want to make sure I give myself a reminder to enjoy life more as a result, and to hold my bald head and foobs high with pride for doing so. Any suggestions? I'm thinking a bracelet, with an inscription. I have a necklace that I have worn to every chemo which has "Blaze on with a fearless heart" on it. For whatever reason, I found this comforting. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a nice, "I love you" present.

ellenkc

Re: Celebrations (or perhaps more appropriately, rituals), the author of After Breast Cancer had a great one. Upon finishing treatment she gathered up a lot of empty prescription pill bottles, put them on the driveway, and drove back and forth over them. I like that! Wish I had kept my bottles.

jab

Totems perhaps? I have a pile of pill bottles - I must try that!

lisa137

@Jab I am so glad you asked about the pain with just Taxotere, because the answer is YES. And today, particularly, I am just so frustrated with it I'm feeling teary. Actually there is a single tear dripping down my cheek right now. (

My infusion was a week ago Monday and the pain started on the following Thursday. It was REALLY bad on Thursday.

For the two rounds of Taxotere plus cytoxan, I'd found that I'd have like 4 days of pain, during which I could take 1 single hydrocodone (5 mg) and be fine. The label says they can be taken every 4 hours, but 2 of them per day was all I needed, and only for 4  days. No big deal, and didn't disrupt my life hardly at all.

This round, I found out really quickly that one of those hydrocodones barely even took the edge of the pain, and that I needed TWO of them, and every 4 hours around the clock. Needless to say, I ran through my small supply of those really quickly --- so I moved on to some Oxycodone (7.25 mg) that I had left over from some procedure or another with my surgeon. One of those does the trick, but I've been taking them every 6 hours since Friday or Saturday, and I'd like to STOP!  They make me feel all warm and fuzzy and content and happy and painless and I want to sleep which is fine but I have stuff that needs DOING, my house is a disaster, and we're living on food my husband fixes, which means stuff that comes from a box in the freezer and take-out food lol. With the oxycodone, the world is a beautiful happy place, and I'm very cheerful and drowsy but I have no gumption to get ANYTHING done whatsoever, and I NEED to get stuff done.

Last night I went to sleep at midnight, and the oxy wore off around 1:30 or something--I timed it this way on purpose to see if the pain would be bad enough to wake me up. It wasn't (so I guess I'm getting better,) although I did wake up at 4:30 in the morning (had to pee) and couldn't get back to sleep. I wasn't in AGONY or anything, but just enough pain so I couldn't go back to sleep. Experimentally, I took two ibuprofen and some benedryl, and did go back to sleep, but when I woke up again at 9:30 I woke up in pain and GRUMPY so I went ahead and took an oxycodone with breakfast just out of pure frustration and being tired of being in pain. Sigh.

I think that when this wears off I'm going to MAYBE try some Tylenol+codeine that I have laying around -- left over from a crazy surgeon who thought THAT would be enough pain reliever after my port placement hahahaha---and see if maybe THAT will be the happy medium that will take the edge off the pain and keep me from being grumpy and miserable but will still allow me to have enough gumption to do my housework and cook dinner and stay awake for more than 3 hours at a time. I'd like to have a real home-cooked healthy meal tonight, even if I can't taste it.

But yeah, I am very glad you asked about the taxotere pain because I was just about to post to see if anyone else had had it linger on for ---well, it will be a week tomorrow since I started with the hydrocodone-- and I'm starting to worry that it's just not going to go away.  I guess I was so spoiled by my two rounds of taxotere+cytoxan, during which I had the infusion, then 2 days of steroid crazy energy, then 4 days of pain, and then the entire rest of the time I felt *almost* normal except for occasional days of fatigue. I was unprepared for this.  I am glad I only have one more round of taxotere or I'd be in SERIOUS danger of becoming addicted to painkillers. Or of going bonkers. Or both.

I guess I shouldn't be frustrated and teary; it's only one round, and I will talk to Dr. Rockstar about all this when I go back and since he's had a good solution for everything else, he'll have a good solution for this too, but right now I'm just .... I guess sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I'm also teary cuz I wonder if I'm just being a big baby about it and maybe ibuprofen WOULD be enough, but you know the pain pill dilemma: If you take the wrong pain pill and it doesn't work, you have between 4 and 6 hours of pain to endure before it wears off and you can take the RIGHT pain pill, so I keep reaching for what I KNOW will work. Otherwise, I wind up in pain and being grumpy at my dogs and/or my husband and then I feel awful about THAT too. (Okay yeah, I am being a big baby, lol. But dammit, it hurts!) 

So I was just getting ready to post to see if anyone would say yeah this is normal with a higher dose of taxotere, the pain just takes longer to go away, but give it a few more days and you'll be better....or if they'd tell me I was just being a big baby and that I should take the ibuprofen and suck it up. 

The pain, btw, is mostly in my legs, a little bit in my back, but also visits every other part of my body at random intervals, including wrists, arms, shoulders, ribs, etc.. It's like little explosions that can occur anyplace at any time, but doesn't sit constantly in any place for any length of time. I guess that's a good thing. It also doesn't feel like bone pain necessarily; could be muscular or nerve pain. I have no idea. I'd just like it to go away. WITHOUT drugs.

Okay, done whining now. Maybe.

jab

Lisa,

I KNOW of what you speak. I thought I was ready for it this time - I wasn't. My suggestion would be to step down from Oxy with Codeine (2 every 4 hours 15 mg - That is what my MO perscribed). If you have tramedol, it is good too.  I also go to bed about 9pm with the addition of Benedryl. I need my sleep with this kind of pain. My MO also perscribed the Lyrica (or gabapentane), and predisone. You are not being a baby. This is serious stuff. When I was in the chemo room the other day, I notice this chart that was in the head nurses office. It was all about what happens if the patients starts to have pain related to taxotere. It was what I was experiencing. Ther meds recommended seem to cover nerve, inflammation and general pain so I don't think one med will do the trick. 

The shots of pain are the hardest to deal with. That continued for me for about 3 days and then peatered out to more of an deep ache (where I am now). The leg pain is the worst for me also. I also get it in my back, ribs and pelvis, elbow and wrists. With each infusion, it seems more areas are effected.

I'm with you, Lisa. We'll get through this!!!

Bec65

Lisa/jab/others on taxotere or taxol -- you are NOT whining...it DOES hurt!  I know it does very little to help, but my MO said the pains are rolling, which is exactly how you described it, Lisa.  One place hurts, then it travels to another, then another.  I definitely had the zinging pains on taxol, especially in my hands of all places.  I also just sat there, crying, waiting for it to go away.

My mom is in the hospital 1 1/2 hours away with a small bowel obstruction.  They're waiting to see if it will correct itself, but she'll need surgery if it doesn't.  And I have radiation in an hour.  Like one of you wise ladies said a few days ago, there should be rules about how much we're supposed to take.  

Northwinds, my fingers will remain crossed thru Friday!

lisa137

Thanks y'all, I feel a little better about it now.   Of course, I still am annoyed because if it's still sticking around tomorrow that will be a solid week of it, and I really expected it to only last 4 or 5 days, not 7 or even beyond... Jab, I will try the codeine this evening. I'm determined to cook us a real dinner tonight even if I fall asleep while I'm doing it. Luckily, hubby will more than willing to help me out. He doesn't know how to cook much (though he does know how to bake some awesome desserts,) but he's very good at following directions if I hang out in the kitchen and tell him what to do.  Hugs to both of you. I really do feel better.

I'll be praying for your mom, Bec. My own mom has been battling.... well, her own stubbornness as much as anything else. She started out saying she had allergies or a sinus infection, then finally admitted she might actually be sick. She eventually went to an urgent care doc (which she hilariously refers to as "the doc in the box,") who said she actually had a mild case of the flu. After a few days of not getting much better she went to her regular PCP who said she probably also had managed to turn that into a light case of pneumonia. Gah!  All this while she's trying to take care of my stepdad who had a stroke last year and who is steadily declining -- he's 81 -- and who also suffers from COPD and phlebitis and who himself had caught a cold or maybe Mom's flu or something. My stepsister and sister in law live right near by and would be more than happy to go over and help Mom out and even stay there with them for a few night so my poor mom could get some rest, but noooo Mom has to be Superwoman and is determined that she'd rather deal with their illnesses than have someone staying in the house with them. THEY are going to worry ME into an early grave, especially since I live too far away to just go over there and take over....as if I could do much right now anyway, myself.

lisa137

Oh and I have to add the funny part about the leg pain...there's SOMETHING funny in everything.

I've been sleeping in a room by myself at night so my hot flashes, getting up to pee, waking up and not being able to sleep, etc., doesn't disturb my husband. Also he likes to sleep diagonally in the bed so this way I actually do have room to sleep.

We have a cat who likes to sleep with one or the other of us. We also have two dogs, a 15 pound feist dog-- a little bigger than a chihuahua, and stockier--- and a Carolina Dog who weighs about 35 pounds and is medium-sized. They don't just like to sleep on the beds, they believe they OWN the beds.

At night, they all go to bed with my husband--they have no choice, because I kick them out of my room and close the door, so I can get some real sleep. In the mornings though, when my husband gets in the shower, the feist dog, Emmylou, whines at my door to get in, so I open the door and in they all come.

The cat is no problem. He just likes to get up near my pillows and put a paw on my shoulder and he's out like a light.

The dogs are another story. 

The feist dog has very short fur and she's cold all the time, so the spot she DEMANDS to sleep in is between someone's knees, under the blankets. The Carolina Dog, Scarlett, is hot natured, and wants to be on top of the blanket, at the foot of the bed, preferably snuggled up to a foot or leg.

So at some point in the mornings I wake up, forced into a position flat on my back with a 15 pound dog between my knees, and another dog on top of the blanket at my feet, pretty much immobilizing me -- you cannot easily move a 35 pound dog who is lying on top of a blanket you're underneath.

That, as much as anything, has me reaching for the oxycodone first thing lol; By the time I manage to shift and untangle my aching hurting legs from blankets and dogs, I'm too exhausted to even consider anything else. About all I can do is plant my elbows on the bed and try to slide myself upwards until I'm free....keeping in mind of course that I had a BMX in October  and am not exactly back up to full upper body strength yet....

What's REALLY fun is when the thing that wakes me up is a hot flash.... I swear I have the world's warmest dogs.

:P

jab

I am also planning the seemily huge task of making dinner for my Mr. We'll see how it goes. Last night he burned boxed pizza so I'm pretty sure the bar is set quite low right now....

Bec, Lisa - My own Mom has been having what she refers to as 'fits' . They are actually seizures. It is so sad to watch her worry about me and herself and know there is nothing she can do in either case. Anyway, my thoughts are with you both.

lisa137

lol jab... .when I occasionally burn...errr overcook....something, my husband eats it and facetiously repeats, "yummmm.. just like Mom used to make!"  His mom is famous for overcooking things.