One Year Today

One year today my life changed...was turned upside down.  I remember getting the regular mammogram, diagnostic mammogram and both didn't show my bc but I could feel something.  Then the ultrasound - it showed the beast buried under a benign mass and hiding in all my dense tissue.  It was close to my chest wall.

I remember feeling like my life was over in that instant.  I remember crying out to God at the clinic, "Why me! Why my family! Haven't I paid enough dues with disease and a crappy childhood?!"  Honestly, I am a woman of faith but it has taken me sometime to get past my spiritual anger - but I have - my prayer life is different now.

The biopsy followed.  This was just the beginning of being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually challenged.

Where I live the weather is rainy, foggy and chilly today - fitting for breast cancer but for me, the sun shines in my heart that I am living.  I have made it through a year of tough treatments.  I am grateful to my Creator, I am thankful for my family and friends, I am grateful to all of my bco friends - the support I have received here has been ointment on my broken heart.

I am thankful for my health insurance - without it we would have lost our home.  I am deeply grateful for my doctors - especially my MO and BS.  My BS is the top bc surgeon at my cancer center - she has looked out for me on several levels.  Just this week she asked if I would become a bc patient advocate at the cancer center - for research, grants, to attend major conferences, and meetings - I haven't fully decided yet but if I can be an advocate for others to help move forward advancements - then my plan is to do so.

There is so much more to say on my one year anniversary of dx - I will end with how much I appreciate all my bco friends - your support and the information I have learned from each of you has made me a stronger advocate for myself.

"I will not die but live and will proclaim what the Lord has done."  Psalm 118:17