Cancerversaries: How do you celebrate?

Every year on my anniversary, I make a collage with random thoughts and pictures I've found that speak to me.  Here's my current, year 3, collage.

My diagnosis with BC is the same time my mother was put under hospice care for BC so it is sorrowful.  I spend that day rather reflective and quiet.   

The date of my BMX is always mixed emotions because I opted for bilateral. I'm learning to not do the "Shoulda Woulda Coulda" thought game. February 25 is the fourth 'anniversary' of that procedure.  The last three have been rather depressing.  This year, though, I am going to turn it around and do something fun and celebratory.  I'm alive.  I'm cancer free.  I have people in my life that love me and I them.  And that's a blessing.  I'm trying to let go of the bad memories and emotions and embrace the good, the beautiful things in my life.  This year, I'm going to be thankful.

I use the date of my mastectomy 1/28/2008. For my five year anniversary I had dinner with my family and a few friends. I gave them each personalized notes and pink M&M's with my anniversary date. This past week for my 6 yr anniversary I just wanted to have dinner with my mother and sister, did not make a big deal of it.

Hi Eric - I'm sorry for the loss of your fiancee and that your wife is battling cancer now. As you can see from the responses here, all of us are different in the way we look at cancerversaries.  Some find the anniversary dates painful and prefer to forget the dates entirely.  Others take the opportunity to have a party or write notes or otherwise thank those around them. Some have a special dinner or quiet time with family.  

I'm one of the ones who actively celebrate that anniversary.  It's not that I am celebrating cancer in any way, shape, or form.  For me I'm celebrating the fact that every day that I'm alive represents a small victory in the battle against this terrible disease, and every anniversary represents another milestone in that battle.  I understand the terrible tenacity of this disease (my mom died of b/c).  I fully understand that I could recur at any time, so the fact that I'm alive now feels like a victory to me.  

As a bit of background to my attitude, 15 years ago my husband was given a diagnosis of a fatal disease, and was told that at best he might survive for 4 years. He took an experimental treatment and was cured within the year.  Four years later, when we were supposed to be having his funeral, he was alive and thriving.  To celebrate that victory, I threw a "wake" for him.  We rented a suite at a minor league baseball game and invited all our friends and relatives who had been so supportive.   I even arranged with the team for him to throw out the first pitch.  We laughed and celebrated that he was alive, and that we had our loving friends and family around us.  He loved every bit of it, and we still celebrate every year that he's alive.  

You asked why some of us might celebrate our cancerversaries as obviously the thought is abhorrent to you.  We're all different in the ways we look at things, but I wanted to share my story in the hopes of answering your question.  That's one of the wonderful thing about BCO - we can all share our experiences and support each other no matter how different we may be.  {{{{Hugs to you and your wife.}}}}    

Celebrating a cancerversary isn't a abhorrent to me...more a "why would I do that" thing.

I *DO* celebrate my wife, Sharon, continuing to be well and I can celebrate the improvements in treatments (and improvements in managing the treatments' side effects) that have occurred in the past 30 years.

Mickey, my fiancee, died in 1983.  She was almost 22 and I was nearly 23.  Even after all this time...other than our 3-1/2 years together...There isn't much to celebrate from back then.

Eric

Congrats, FarmerLucy!  Give your beloved dogs a special scritch behind the ears today!

And look at you two years later - paying it forward by helping out others in the early days of their dx.  That's what I love about BCO - we get help when we need it, then we turn around and give help when it's needed by others.   

I was diagnosed with IDC on Nov 1, 2013.  I started chemo within 2 weeks and had a lumpectomy in April and had radiation which ended on July 2, 2013.  I celebrated end of radiation with a scuba diving trip to Cozumel.  I celebrated one year since diagnosis with a 5 mile Thanksgiving turkey trot.  I think I will just keep celebrating each year.  I'm glad to be alive!

Two years ago today, I got the call from the radiologist and heard the words "you have cancer."  Nothing is really the same afterward!  Today I remembered quietly and looked back at all that I've been through.  It's still quite a shock.

I have decided to celebrate "my second birthday" June 7, when I underwent my LX and cancer left my body! I think after what I have been through (like all of us) I deserve a second birthday! Maybe going out for dinner and a movie. Lots of time to think about it......:)

I could hardly forget the day of my stage IV diagnosis since it was also my 62nd birthday. The cancer certainly isn't something to celebrate, but I'm really happy to have another birthday. Yesterday was my 65th (and 3rd cancerversary) and I'm surprised and delighted that I'm still here and doing so well. I picked up the report from my latest CT scan and it again showed no progression, so I'm still on anastrozole, my first medication, for at least a few months more.  I went out for a quiet dinner with my husband and a friend.  While I remembered how I felt three years ago, the cards and calls from family and friends were for my birthday and the cancer dx only mentioned in passing. 

I cannot think of 'celebrating' in any way to mark dates of cancer.  I will quietly remember the dates - that will be it - neither do I want friends or family to celebrate anything around cancer .   It is enough that it still intrudes so starkly in my day and nights.  

It has been interesting seeing how all "celebrate" cancerversaries.  It seems each step of this journey has a cancerversary, The date of diagnosis, my lumpectomy, my bmx/LD flap recon, my exhange surgery, my nipple recon now 2 weeks ago.  I can't really decide what to celebrate but know as each anniversary comes and goes, that I am glad it is behind me.  

I don't really like the word cancerversary. I like to celebrate my wedding anniversary, my birthday, my kids'  and DH's birthdays, holidays and good news for friends. Things that make me happy.  I don't want to celebrate a diagnosis or treatment that was grueling and scary. I've just finished Herceptin and will take Tamox or AI for years--but as much as possible I'll try to put the ordeal behind me.  I'm sure I'll keep track of the number of years since the dx, or since surgery, (fall 2012) but I'm not going to celebrate specific dates.  Yes I am so very grateful to be alive and will try as hard as I can to appreciate and even celebrate the beauty of life a little each day.