Cancerversaries: How do you celebrate?

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  • Hipline
    Hipline Member Posts: 195
    edited February 2014

    Every year on my anniversary, I make a collage with random thoughts and pictures I've found that speak to me.  Here's my current, year 3, collage.

    image

  • voraciousreader
    voraciousreader Member Posts: 7,496
    edited February 2014

    Prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer I had on TWO occasions life saving operations. I never celebrated the anniversaries of my operations, nor do I celebrate the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis.  Quite frankly, I've never been into dates relating to illnesses and can't even recall the dates of all of my illnesses.  Then again, I'm not into celebrating my birthday or wedding anniversary either.  The DH has had numerous lifesaving operations, including emergency cardiac bypass surgery.  Why make a big deal about anniversaries?  In my book, every day that both of us are alive is a blessing....

  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited February 2014

    My diagnosis with BC is the same time my mother was put under hospice care for BC so it is sorrowful.  I spend that day rather reflective and quiet.   

    The date of my BMX is always mixed emotions because I opted for bilateral. I'm learning to not do the "Shoulda Woulda Coulda" thought game. February 25 is the fourth 'anniversary' of that procedure.  The last three have been rather depressing.  This year, though, I am going to turn it around and do something fun and celebratory.  I'm alive.  I'm cancer free.  I have people in my life that love me and I them.  And that's a blessing.  I'm trying to let go of the bad memories and emotions and embrace the good, the beautiful things in my life.  This year, I'm going to be thankful.

  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited February 2014

    I'd like to mentally forget the dates but I emotionally remember them.  The first summer after mom's death and my diagnosis, early June … I was so sad and really emotional.  I'm not a cryer and I was weepy.  I thought I was going to nuts.  I decided to look in my datebook of the previous year … and it was to the day that I found the lump that started it all.  It was the same week that mom was put in hospice.  Talked to a few counselor friends and they told me about 'emotional memory.'  

  • steffief
    steffief Member Posts: 30
    edited February 2014

    I use the date of my mastectomy 1/28/2008. For my five year anniversary I had dinner with my family and a few friends. I gave them each personalized notes and pink M&M's with my anniversary date. This past week for my 6 yr anniversary I just wanted to have dinner with my mother and sister, did not make a big deal of it.

  • eric95us
    eric95us Member Posts: 2,845
    edited February 2014

    Why would I want to celebrate that which took my fiancee and threatens my wife?

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited February 2014

    Hi Eric - I'm sorry for the loss of your fiancee and that your wife is battling cancer now. As you can see from the responses here, all of us are different in the way we look at cancerversaries.  Some find the anniversary dates painful and prefer to forget the dates entirely.  Others take the opportunity to have a party or write notes or otherwise thank those around them. Some have a special dinner or quiet time with family.  

    I'm one of the ones who actively celebrate that anniversary.  It's not that I am celebrating cancer in any way, shape, or form.  For me I'm celebrating the fact that every day that I'm alive represents a small victory in the battle against this terrible disease, and every anniversary represents another milestone in that battle.  I understand the terrible tenacity of this disease (my mom died of b/c).  I fully understand that I could recur at any time, so the fact that I'm alive now feels like a victory to me.  

    As a bit of background to my attitude, 15 years ago my husband was given a diagnosis of a fatal disease, and was told that at best he might survive for 4 years. He took an experimental treatment and was cured within the year.  Four years later, when we were supposed to be having his funeral, he was alive and thriving.  To celebrate that victory, I threw a "wake" for him.  We rented a suite at a minor league baseball game and invited all our friends and relatives who had been so supportive.   I even arranged with the team for him to throw out the first pitch.  We laughed and celebrated that he was alive, and that we had our loving friends and family around us.  He loved every bit of it, and we still celebrate every year that he's alive.  

    You asked why some of us might celebrate our cancerversaries as obviously the thought is abhorrent to you.  We're all different in the ways we look at things, but I wanted to share my story in the hopes of answering your question.  That's one of the wonderful thing about BCO - we can all share our experiences and support each other no matter how different we may be.  {{{{Hugs to you and your wife.}}}}    

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2014

    Wonderful story and perspective, Natsfan! Thanks for sharing.

  • eric95us
    eric95us Member Posts: 2,845
    edited February 2014

    Celebrating a cancerversary isn't a abhorrent to me...more a "why would I do that" thing.

    I *DO* celebrate my wife, Sharon, continuing to be well and I can celebrate the improvements in treatments (and improvements in managing the treatments' side effects) that have occurred in the past 30 years.

    Mickey, my fiancee, died in 1983.  She was almost 22 and I was nearly 23.  Even after all this time...other than our 3-1/2 years together...There isn't much to celebrate from back then.

    Eric

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited February 2014

    Today marks my two year cancerversary! Just about two years ago I heard the horrible, devastating words. What a dark time that was for me. Today I woke up with a big grin on my face, beyond thrilled to be here. Who knew such a meaningful, fulfilling life awaited me. I will celebrate by spending a quiet day at the farm with my dogs doing what I love the most.

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited February 2014

    Congrats, FarmerLucy!  Give your beloved dogs a special scritch behind the ears today!

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited February 2014

    Will do NatsFan - Thanks for all your support these past couple years. You send me a link to the Johns Hopkins recon page in those early days which was so helpful!Happy

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited February 2014

    And look at you two years later - paying it forward by helping out others in the early days of their dx.  That's what I love about BCO - we get help when we need it, then we turn around and give help when it's needed by others.   

  • Vadre
    Vadre Member Posts: 225
    edited February 2014

    I really like your idea of the collage!  I was diagnosed three years ago but between getting my care plan set and moving to a new home the three years have flown by. I have MBC so I will be getting treatment for the rest of my life. Because of this some kind of recognition of the date seems important it's just that I hadn't figured out how,to mark the day. Your collage helped me shift my thinking away from something that feels like a celebration to something reflective and visual. Something for me, unless I choose to shre it. Thank you for sharing and helping me to think in new ways. 

    Spring is on it's way!

  • Georgetta
    Georgetta Member Posts: 43
    edited March 2014

    I was diagnosed with IDC on Nov 1, 2013.  I started chemo within 2 weeks and had a lumpectomy in April and had radiation which ended on July 2, 2013.  I celebrated end of radiation with a scuba diving trip to Cozumel.  I celebrated one year since diagnosis with a 5 mile Thanksgiving turkey trot.  I think I will just keep celebrating each year.  I'm glad to be alive!

  • ShazzaKelly
    ShazzaKelly Member Posts: 909
    edited March 2014

    I'm 14 years out from my first diagnosis and 8 years out from my 2nd I have never celebrated my cancerversaies and couldn't even tell you my dates. The third time round I got a stage 4 diagnosis on my 46th birthday!!! I imagine there will be a celebration every year now but there's a few months to go till my first one. I should get planning. 

  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited March 2014

    Two years ago today, I got the call from the radiologist and heard the words "you have cancer."  Nothing is really the same afterward!  Today I remembered quietly and looked back at all that I've been through.  It's still quite a shock.

  • Cody
    Cody Member Posts: 81
    edited March 2014

    This was the first year that I really forgot the day I had the Mx on my left breast.  It was my seventh year.  Since it was Valentines day, guess I was too busy eating the big box of candy my DH gave me.  Still doing great.  Looking forward to another good year!!! 

    Love to all,


     

  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2014

    So many and varied ways to recognize your milestones! Whether you had a quiet, thoughtful moment, a trip, a run, large amounts of chocolate, or something else, we salute your notable dates too.

    • The Mods

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited March 2014

    My 7 year mark is coming up at the end of this month.  I hope I can remember when the day gets here.  The passage of time really does help lighten some of the harder memories.

    hugs,

    Bren

  • slv58
    slv58 Member Posts: 1,216
    edited March 2014

    I have decided to celebrate "my second birthday" June 7, when I underwent my LX and cancer left my body! I think after what I have been through (like all of us) I deserve a second birthday! Maybe going out for dinner and a movie. Lots of time to think about it......:)

  • savgigi
    savgigi Member Posts: 376
    edited March 2014

    I celebrated my first anniversary with a personal best in a 5K.

  • carpe_diem
    carpe_diem Member Posts: 1,256
    edited March 2014

    I could hardly forget the day of my stage IV diagnosis since it was also my 62nd birthday. The cancer certainly isn't something to celebrate, but I'm really happy to have another birthday. Yesterday was my 65th (and 3rd cancerversary) and I'm surprised and delighted that I'm still here and doing so well. I picked up the report from my latest CT scan and it again showed no progression, so I'm still on anastrozole, my first medication, for at least a few months more.  I went out for a quiet dinner with my husband and a friend.  While I remembered how I felt three years ago, the cards and calls from family and friends were for my birthday and the cancer dx only mentioned in passing. 

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited March 2014

    For me, the best possible way to observe my upcoming 5-year milestone would be to completely blank on it; where I actually forget about it, and then look back and think, "Wow!  I forgot my Cancerversary...it was just a regular, normal day."  That would be fabulous!

    That is what happened last year, but only because I was distracted by treatment for another annoying cancer at the time.

    If I should think of it, I'll probably have to remind my family first before any celebrating takes place.  Then I'm sure I will do something wild and reckless, like eat some Cheetos wearing a white pants suit, or something.  

    Finally, I might mark the occasion with a self-exam.  The 5-year mark is all well and good, but we all know the possibility of recurrence doesn't magically go away at that point, especially for all of us ER+ gals.

    -----------------

    p.s.  Congrats, carpe_diem, may you sieze many more days!

  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited March 2014

    I cannot think of 'celebrating' in any way to mark dates of cancer.  I will quietly remember the dates - that will be it - neither do I want friends or family to celebrate anything around cancer .   It is enough that it still intrudes so starkly in my day and nights.  

  • Jazzygirl
    Jazzygirl Member Posts: 12,533
    edited March 2014

    I keep my milestones simple. I just completed my first year of follow up post treatment. For me, it is a process of being grateful, and then making more plans to live my life as fully as possible each and every day. 

  • mamasixtaz
    mamasixtaz Member Posts: 319
    edited March 2014

    It has been interesting seeing how all "celebrate" cancerversaries.  It seems each step of this journey has a cancerversary, The date of diagnosis, my lumpectomy, my bmx/LD flap recon, my exhange surgery, my nipple recon now 2 weeks ago.  I can't really decide what to celebrate but know as each anniversary comes and goes, that I am glad it is behind me.  

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited March 2014

    Just managed to get Colin to put these up for Sailman to see!

    This is a picture of Colin at a competition, the next photo is a Tuesday night "Stern chaser". Colin is in his purpose built seat, with 3 friends of ours crewing. I was running along outside the house taking shots as they went past. The next shot is the model boat  "Yellow Peril" it is the one closest to the camera, with the unattractive pink, (I hate pink) reinforcements on the sails. Take care M x  

    image

    image

    image

  • momwriter
    momwriter Member Posts: 310
    edited March 2014

    I don't really like the word cancerversary. I like to celebrate my wedding anniversary, my birthday, my kids'  and DH's birthdays, holidays and good news for friends. Things that make me happy.  I don't want to celebrate a diagnosis or treatment that was grueling and scary. I've just finished Herceptin and will take Tamox or AI for years--but as much as possible I'll try to put the ordeal behind me.  I'm sure I'll keep track of the number of years since the dx, or since surgery, (fall 2012) but I'm not going to celebrate specific dates.  Yes I am so very grateful to be alive and will try as hard as I can to appreciate and even celebrate the beauty of life a little each day. 

  • NWArtLady
    NWArtLady Member Posts: 360
    edited June 2014

    June 18 was the 3 year mark of my being diagnosed. I did not think I would see this day.  

    I celebrated by attending the wedding of my 21-year old niece!!  I did not mention my anniversary to anyone but my husband and he gave me a big hug. Best celebration. Living life and celebrating all the joys you can. 

    By the way, my niece also graduated from college in microbiology and is now working at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center where she is going to cure cancer!! 

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