September 2013 Chemo Group

Wow so many of you having or just had surgery! Sorry for those hurting! We feel for ya, but we're all a tough bunch, we have been through so much already! 

I am envious of your hair growth! I can't wait for sprouts!

I am 2 weeks post Taxol. (next week is Herceptin) I feel pretty good except my migraines have returned nightly. 

Tomorrow I go for another echocardiogram and then I see the plastic surgeon. Sure hope I get a surgery date soon!

kbee, thks fir the well wishes and yes can't wait for a nice dinner out and my taste is better. Glad you had a nice evdning and DH was happy......lol

Mama read uour post and got teary eyed. I'm glad you have someone to hold you when the tears come, i hope for many more hugs from your beau. 

Alfranco, you're hot and you rock that hairdo. Ummm  same salon as i go to...Salon Chemo.    Lol

LHL, Simplelife. no need to make excuses for how you feel, i don't want to play anymore also. Heck this is one journey like no other that we have experienced and it takes time lots of time for our bodies and mind to heal and no one can understand that better than us. 

Kj and betterday sending you good vibes from across the border hang in there happy thoughts of spring and beaches.      

Mamabear - are you out there?  Hope surgery went well and you're feeling ok!

The radiation office called. Someone broke their table. No RADS today.  They will 'bookend' me on the last day of rads with two doses (one in the morning and one in the late afternoon).  I'm already at work, came in at 0600. Now I can bank an hour of comp time!  Yes!  As my friend Rebecca would say, "GO GOD!"

Ironically Missing Radiation Today    (bwahahahahahaha... NOT!!)

Glad to hear that Mama's surgery went well.

KnightZoo,
Welcome to RADS!

Mercedes,
You have done far too much sharing of a Quebec winter. ;-)

Cougar,
I hope they find what works quickly! And, you have the biggest excuse for being tired of all of us... a newborn!

LHL,
You can do it!  You just don't have to do it all at once!!

Glad Mamabear's surgery went well.  Sorry she's in pain though.  Thanks for letting us know knightzoo!  Good luck with rads - glad you got the go-ahead!!

KJ - I'm still chuckling that someone broke the rads table.  Yikes.  Wonder how big of a dose THEY were getting!?!??!

Thanks for the good wishes for my surgery, LHL, Alfranco and KBeee. I appreciate it!

I know what you all mean about being tired of caring for everyone else. My neighbor brought over a Bromeliad plant for me the other day and all I could think was, "Great, something else I have to take care of."  Just a bit of an overreaction!

ladies - wow my mom has been in town and so I haven't logged on for awhile but you've been busy.

Mama and simple life and better day - glad your surgeries and recovery is going. One day at a time and it slowly gets better. It's over and won't have to be repeated at least. Gentle hugs.

Alfranco - almost done with rads!  For me the boosts were easier and the rest of my breast started healing quickly. Hope that happens with your burn too. Your hair growth looks good.  We are all getting some color back.  

KJ - a one day break is nice - I had Xmas and New Years so it broke up the weeks a little. And I put 2 treatments on my last Friday - just to avoid coming back on Monday and it was no issue. 

Mama - it's weird since I have never met you in person but the story about your date night just made me so happy - as if we have been friends for years. You so deserve it and it distracts you from the disappointment which was the actions of your one sister. Hope to hear from you soon on how your surgery went - but at least it went!!!

I am echoing all your comments about not feeling back to normal.  Ironically I feel like I am recovering quicker physically than mentally. I ran 5 miles today but mentally I am just not here. I am so distracted and fuzzy I guess. My mom has been visiting which is wonderful but instead of actively visiting I just let her play with my daughter and I watch the Olympics. My mind is just not recovering yet. And the more time passes the more frustrated and worried I am that it may not come back. I am trying to be patient but darn it I just want to be better! And my fiancée sees a much more energetic me so thinks I am 100% - I am trying to force myself to remind him I am slowly getting there but I need space and no pressure. But I am not the kind of person who likes to remind people of their weaknesses so telling him I am still not 100% is so hard. And sexually - yeah I am not feeling it either. Not sure if tamox or residual from chemo and lupron but sometimes I just let it happen.  

Cougar - best of luck preparing for surgery. Getting the tumor out and just knowing for sure what it is will make you feel better ... Thinking of you. 

Having your posts validates my feelings and I just want to say that I am so lucky to have this forum and all you ladies. I do believe we will all get back to normal eventually (Vegas will help) but it will be a process and we will have to be patient - not sure if any of us are good at that

I'm a really good patient, Josgirl.

I've learned to close my eyes during procedures.  Count to 10 when a nurse pokes me. Hug my surgeon.  What more can they ask of me??

;-)

(yes, I know what you meant... I just refuse to acknowledge that it is so evident that I am not patient.)

;-)

Good Morning to you SimpleLife!

 Funny what you say about the hair. After my lumpectomy/node surgery my sister had to shampoo my long hair for me. And I just mentioned the other day how it will be easier after next month's BMX to do a sponge bath, being bald all over now!

 Hope today is ok for you! We had more snow yesterday, more coming today. I have an echo this a.m. Then meet & have an exam with the PS later.

Art, can you convince Nat to come on here with us?  I will PM you my contact information so if she'd like to call or e-mail, she's welcome to.  I hope you two can join us in Vegas!

Vintage, Hope the appointments go well.

Simplelife, I hope you get those drains out!  ANyone who says "why don't you just wait a week?" has never had drains.  Hoping for favorable path results for you.

KJ - I'm laughing....even though the appointment is 'short' gosh it feels so long when you are in the middle of it.  I just tried to be silly - what else is there?  The lasers on the ceiling I swear were alien's eyes just watching me and they would descend (never did), competing against myself to get on the table in the right way - to avoid adjustments, and trying trying trying to see the photons (never could - and I had lasik - haha).  But the techs were so nice and the boosts were so much easier.  I did try to treat it like a science experiment and as a physics minor in college I learned a lot about radiation I didn't know...not sure what that says about my schooling -    But when you are all done it does feel like it went fast...for what that is worth....

Simplelife - Way to look for the silver lining - pain, compression, 3 drains and the woman is happy she doesn't have to wash her hair - you're awesome! But I totally hear you on the drains - you have no idea how obnoxious they are until you have them and when you do get them out it will be a new lease on life.  We are in your pocket - with the drains

Art - Man I wish I could give you both a hug.  I think we all have our major down days and while it is so hard for us I often think it is harder on my fiancee.  It must be very hard to continue to be positive and supportive through all this and worse to see your wife in pain and thinking of giving up.  I don't have any advice really as you know Nat better than we all do but just being there and listening is such a selfless thing to do because I know it must be hurting you too.  And as weird as it is sometimes a new day is just that and the depression lifts...sometimes you need something else.  Any distraction might help so hoping that concert helps turn the corner.  And I totally agree that the 8 week wait (if the docs are on board) is fine.  I was shocked that once I was diagnosed they didn't wheel me right into an operation and wanted more and more tests and waiting to get on the calendar yada yada and it is stressful knowing that the cancer is still in your body and you can't get it out.  I felt like well I just didn't feel right - like my body was betraying me from the inside.  It was weird and hard and until the surgery there will probably be moments like this.  But after all this I really just wanted to say that your support and company mean more than you can imagine and I know you want to fix this for her and while that is not likely to happen your presence is more than gold right now.  I don't think I will be able to tell my fiancee how much I appreciate his help/support/presence through all this even if I spend the rest of my life doing so.  Our treatments are hard but watching someone you love go through them has its own challenges and in some ways is much harder I think.  Agree with Kbee - we would love to see her on the board if she wants....it is good just to lurk too....helped me a lot at the beginninmg when I didn't want to post but needed info.

simplelife - I totally agree about it being easier to take care of yourself (i.e. no hair to wash/style) after surgery if you do chemo first. I just recently had to start shaving my legs again, so for the first months or so after surgery I just washed in the bath/shower and ta da! I was done. LOL  Hoping for a good path report!

art - I'm sorry Nat is having a hard time. We all go through those, I promise you. No matter how positive or upbeat or strong a person sounds, they have their moments/days/weeks where they don't think they can do this one more day. I know I have. Will she be doing hormone treatment? I forget. If so, you can reassure her that the hormone treatment will help take care of any stray cells, too. I can't remember if she is ER+ though. One thing that's hard to remember is this is a marathon, not a sprint. Even though everything is URGENT to us, the patients, ridding our bodies of cancer takes a long damn time!!! Getting an earlier surgery date may help reassure her - good job!!!

Kbeee - You are SO right - anyone who says "what difference does a few days make" has never had drains hanging out of them. LOL

josgirl - I agree that as much as it sucks going through this, it has to be so,so hard on our loved ones to sit by & watch.

I talked to someone local who did surgery first and she was telling me how hard it was to wash her hair, yes def good to have no hair during that first week!

Art-great job persuading the doctors to get you moved up!  I'm sure you caught Nat at a low moment, and I can say that I've said things to my husband about quitting that I never truly meant...but if you can say it to anyone, it's them.  Unfortunately you are the easiest to dump on, and the one hurting the most besides her.  Hang in there, you are a champ!  My facebook status on VDay said that I know my hub really loves me because he helped me take a bath when I was sick, bloated, bald, and boobless and didn't laugh!

I saw my MO for the first time today since chemo - he was prepared with lots of info on why I should take tamoxifen (both of my biopsies came back 1% + for ER).  One study showed a benefit even for ER- women.  And he said "Why would you do all of this chemo, major surgery, and radiation, and then not take this insurance policy?"  I think all along I would have, but I took the prescription and will have it filled.  He said it doesn't really matter if I start now or after radiation - seems like everyone around here is starting during/before radiation?

I love the silver linings KBee and the cleaning service, what a great one to support!  LHL, glad your husband got you one too!  I wonder what it takes to break the rad table! Ha.  simplelife, let us know if you hear about your path and if you get your drains out - fingers crossed for you!  Have a great day everyone!  Oh yes, mama went home yesterday and is feeling...well, like she's 2 days post-bmx!

Just call me MacGyver. My newest method of self-entertainment during recovery is finding ways to do seemingly impossible things by myself (granted they are only seemingly impossible when you can't use your arms for much).  My DH is taking good care of me, but I actually like the challenge of doing things on my own, often with the help of other body parts and kitchen utensils. At least it provides some distraction.

In other news, I got my path results.  My surgeon told me I got as close to a complete response she has seen without actually getting a complete response. Less than 1 mm of invasive cancer and 8mm of DCIS.  That is way better than the MRI suggested.  So while it wasn't a complete response, it was better than I expected. They are going to discuss me at conference tomorrow, but my surgeon is predicting that they will recommend no further treatment. No rads and no additional chemo.  That's a little scary being triple negative, but I will hear what my MO says after conference.

I am still trying to catch up on everyone's posts, but lots of love and hugs to you all. Btw, I am still planning on Vegas, work permitting. 

SouthernGirl, my docs say they would only radiate if the tumor was 5 cm or larger, there was node involvement, or if I chose lumpectomy. Because none of those applied, no radiation.  I do worry about chemo and surgery not being enough. But I guess I will wait to see what my MO says.