Just heard my wife has high grade, DCIS non-invasive.
My wife received her lab today. We've been in such torment the past week waiting for it. She was told she has high grade, DCIS that's seems to be non invasive. It looks like this could be a lot worse. Right?
They are still recommending a double mastectomy (her breasts are small and the tumor and calcifications are large) but we're fine with that at this point. We'll take what we can get. I'm still worried that she might have cancer somewhere else though so I'm not breathing out just yet. Not until we get a PET. But assuming it isn't anywhere else right now, this seems to be one of the "better" cancers to take care of. I might be wrong though. Lay your knowledge on me even if hurts. Thanks so much for any advice/info/questions/etc.
Edit: I think I should add that they said it was "aggressive" and my wife's age is 28.
Comments
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well, my " knowledge " won't hurt. You are in the very scariest part of the process. Hang in there, learn as much as you can about HER circumstance. Don't make huge assumptions or jumps based on fear or other patients situations.
The most important thing you can do is what you are doing, which is being there for her.
FYI, I am 13 years from first diagnosis, got bilateral mastectomy this past nov after diagnosis of other breast. Life can and does go on, and continues to be wonderful for me. I hope the same for you and your wife.
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dcis means the cancer in situ so it didn't spread. She doesn't need a pet scan. High grade means it's poorly differiated. I think your wife is fine.
Did the doctor explain the path report in detail with you and your wife? You should def talk to the breast surgeon or radiologist for better understanding of the report.
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The reason I would like a PET scan is mostly out of fear. In the past 20 months her mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (she passed away last month
) and her sister was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. It's been a hard year for our families. My wife also continues to lose a lot of weight after giving birth 11 months ago. She's becoming fatigued easier too. She also has complained the past 8 months or so that her "body" is sore. All of these symptoms together have us scared that there might be more. Am I jumping the gun? A PET scan would make me feel sooo much better. Thanks for your reply.
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Yojimbo, another good place for your wife and you to learn more is in the DCIS section of the main Breastcancer.org site, and of course you can count on this great community for their experiences and support.
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Thank you. I'll educate myself more about it there. I really appreciate all of you advice and opinions.
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Yojimbo - Welcome! I'm so sorry you have to be here, but so happy that you've found this community - and I think you will be too. If you have to get breast cancer, high grade DCIS non-invasive is a pretty good one to have. When diagnosed initially with DCIS, I started with an excisional biopsy to remove the mass. However, during the surgery my BS quite unexpectedly also found an abundance of LCIS as well. Because my breasts have always mirrored one another, I opted for a BMX with immediate reconstruction so I was back on the table three weeks later.
You will need to go with her or have someone go with her to all of these early appointments where a plan for treatment will be discussed. Believe me, as the patient, you don't hear even half of what's being discussed in that room. It's very helpful to have another set of ears to take it all in. If you can, take notes, or record the session.
The beginning is the worst. Waiting for appointments, waiting for tests, waiting for test results, waiting, waiting, waiting... Waiting is a special kind of torture that we're all very familiar with. So depending on your wife's stress level, you might want to ask for anti-anxiety meds and something to help her sleep at night. Just a thought.
Please let us know if you need anything or have any more questions. Beesie is our resident guru when it comes to DCIS, so if she hasn't been here already, she'll be here soon. Take care and please let us know how things are going. Sending you both a hug and a prayer....
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Thanks for your kind words. They're very comforting. This week has changed my wife and I. Just a a couple of weeks ago I was upset about the stupidest things. This event has "torn the veil" for us. I hope we can compare, to some extent, this weeks hell to our future trials. My heart and brain have been reeling at the thought of loosing my wife and the mother of our daughter.
We will most definitely be bringing an extra pair of ears with us that can be less emotionally involved on Thursday for our appt. in Dallas.
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I was diagnosed with stage 1a Invasive Lobular Carcinoma in September. I have learned a lot along the way:
- The best advice I received was "don't invite trouble; go with what you know". DCIS is contained in the duct and is not invasive yet. Hang on to that until you find out something different.
- Don't search too much on the internet. There is soooo much contradicting information. It can be confusing, frustrating, and downright scary. This site is a great place for information and there are a lot of women who have been there, done that. I echo the recommendation that you visit the DCIS thread.
- Tumor size and probable staging will not be set in stone until after the lumpectomy or mastectomy pathology reports are in. My biopsy pathology report showed I had a 2 cm tumor, when my largest tumor was only 17 mm. They also suspected I was a stage 2b, possibly a 3. Final staging is a 1a.
- The next few weeks will be a whirlwind, rollercoaster ride. If you can, go with your wife on her key doctor appts so you can take notes. This is all so new and raw that she will only remember key words or phrases. Having notes or a recording of the meeting is very helpful.
- Attitude is everything! Stay positive!
Best of luck!!
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Hi Yojimbo! So sorry that you and your wife are facing this, but DCIS is certainly one of the better diagnosis to have.
It is a very confronting thing to be in this situation and the waiting is awful, but once there is a plan in place you'll both feel more in control.
I too, was diagnosed with high grade DCIS about 13 months ago. I am much older than your wife, 59 at diagnosis. I chose to have a single Mastectomy. The final Pathology confirmed the initial DCIS diagnosis, and I am doing fine.
My Husband was and is my rock. He went to appointments, educated himself about DCIS, listened to me, and backed me in my decision to have the mastectomy and not to reconstruct. That was right for us, but of course isn't for everyone.
I wish you both all the very best, come here and ask questions, there will always be someone around to answer and support you. Take care!
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Yojimbo, I'm sorry that your wife has been diagnosed. But yes, it could be a lot worse than high grade DCIS.
In their earlier post, the Moderators provided a link to the excellent breastcancer.org section about DCIS. And here is a link to a thread that I wrote some time ago, detailing what I've learned about DCIS over these years: A layperson's guide to DCIS
Another thread from the DCIS forum that might be helpful is this one: lumpectomy vs mastectomy - why did you choose your route? While your wife might require the mastectomy (MX) because of the large area of DCIS and the size of her breasts, she does have the option of having a unilateral MX (UMX), as Ariom did (and as I did as well). Having a bilateral mastectomy (BMX), i.e. removing the second breast, is entirely your wife's decision - it's not a medical necessity. Your wife might know that she wants the BMX or she might decide that it's the best choice for her, but there is a lot of emotion and physical change involved with this, and it's important to really understand what's involved. Although the discussion thread that I linked has a title that talks about the lumpectomy vs. mastectomy choice, the posts in that thread will also help your wife decide between a UMX and a BMX.
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YoJimbo. Hello and welcome.
Sorry to hear about your wife's Dx-ed. She is blessed to have you there to help gather information.
I highly recommend the links that were given to you. Beesie's will be extremely helpful in that she has gathered together in one place information that you would have to go all over the internet to find.
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i think you can ask your wife's BS or MO about a pet scan. the MO (first opinion) ordered one for me.
the BS might perform a sentinel node dissection...if they see fit. after the surgery (MX or LX) the pathology report will be able to tell you more about the cancer. and a pet scan is a lot of radiation to go thru for someone who's not really feeling well already in general. and within 24 hours after pet scan, she can't go near the baby. that's how bad it is. btw, you wife needs to be physically okay to go thru the surgery. they'll do some tests to make sure. i think you are ahead of yourself here. but you should bring that up to your wife's doctors/team.
i am sorry about your wife. but DCIS is completely curable from what i've read.
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Thanks for all of your information. I just soaked it all up. I feel much more prepared for our appt tomorrow.
I can't wait to find out if there are any dci (?) cells in addition to the DCIS cells present. I'm worried about her age and history working against her in a few areas here...
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Yojimbo - We'll all be right there with you tomorrow! Please let us know how it goes!
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yoji,
how's your appt? hope all is well.
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The scans looked fine! No spread! Boy did she take her sweet time getting to the good news though. And then she acted like it was no big deal. But I wanted to lay face down on the ground and cry with my wife. Thanks for your encouraging words everyone.
We still have a BMX planned for a few weeks from now and there still might be microinvasions but we feel like we can handle that.
It's funny, two weeks ago I never thought I would be happy to say, "She only has breast cancer," yet here I am saying it.
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Hi yojimbo,
I'm sorry that your wife has been diagnosed at all, but very glad for both of you that it is DCIS. That said I' going to plunge into some advice here that you didn't ask for & if you don't want it or I am overstepping, please just ignore it. If I had a son or a nephew in your situation these are the things that I would tell him:
A mastectomy is hard - it is a very hard thing for a woman to go through both physically and emotionally, and the healing can take a long time. What you do as a husband over the next couple years as your wife grapples with this will have a long term effect on her self-esteem, about how she feels about her sensuality, and whether she feels attractive specifically with you in the future. It can be a time when, as you have suggested above, that your relationship, your trust - her trust in your love for her becomes more than you ever would have imagined it could be, but that trust is going to be fragile at this point & easily hurt. Just from the fact that you are here, and the things that you have said thus far, it is very clear that you adore your wife & it's going to be important going forward that you hold fast to that because over the next year or two it's very likely that she will experience grief - along with the anger, depression, etc. that come with it. Maybe not, it's just a good thing to recognize that this is not at all the same for most women as getting kidney surgery - there's too much 'other' stuff involved (especially at 28). Sex is going to be different - for you and her - that doesn't mean worse, it can even mean better, but from everything I have heard and experienced, the reactions (even the smallest of them) of a partner to surgical scars, the absence of nipples, the changes in her body, etc. will impact how your wife feels about herself going forward. If you ever find yourself floundering - I know that there are a couple good books out there for husbands - but don't hesitate either to talk to the women here or to tell your wife about this site. It sounds like she has a really good thing going with you & I hope that it just gets better and better. Many hugs to both of you.
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Thanks for that. Really. I appreciate frankness. I'm sure we're both not giving this bmx the "respect" it deserves. It's hard to care about it when the alternatives were much worse. We should probably not be a flippant as we have been about it.
I'll remember your advice about being careful how I react to her breasts and what's going onwith her emotions.
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