Monday club lol

June- I just posted it on the emotional section here too.  I hope it gives someone a smile.  

Today already has been rough.  I didn't sleep well- of course. And I got all three girls to school.  On the way home, I just started crying.  Crying because I miss my pre cancer life.  I think I am mourning that life now.  Realizing that is over.  I liked my life a lot.  I wish I could snap my fingers and it was a year ago.  I was off work then too, but I was holding a month old brand new baby girl in my arms.  I hate cancer:(

I still am having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that I have it.  Surgery done, four rounds of chemo done, weekly 12 hour road trips to MD Anderson- yet I surprised myself this morning realizing what all that meant.  I am terrified that it will come back somewhere else.  I am terrified of mets.  Maybe it is because of the awful 48 hours when they thought it was in my femur.  I guess I haven't gotten over that.  No sure I will.  I heard a doctor already say to me we think it moved.  Not in those words, but still.  I guess I am now so scared next time it will be true!  

What should I do?  Is this normal?  My reaction to all this?  Do I need help or maybe some form of anxiety med?  Is anyone else taking anything?  I am now alone in a house where the rest of the family is doing wha they did before I got sick.  But I am here.  I think I need to get into a yoga class or something!  

piper,

Oh good luck with the surgery....is someone going to take care of you? The first couple of days can be quite tough. 

Keep us posted....

Oh you are on ketogenic diet, how long they put you on? I read it can be done in three to five days to stave off the cancer cells. I want to do it. It's very restrictive for sure. If i do it, I'll probably just do it for a week but not going to consult a professional. 

red,

here is the link 

http://www.canceractive.com/cancer-active-page-lin...

i talked to an alternative doctor who told me even food is important but our mentality, contentedness in life, stress level (more on an emotional, personal life way, or work stress that cause you emotional) that's the biggest factor. 

i also want to mention the article mentioned no dairy products, but i would have to say if you can get your hands on the grass fed raw milk and grass fed beef, you can still consume those. in case you don't know the source of the cows, if you are doing chemo, may be skip the raw milk. 

EU already banned the hormone injected to their cows but the FDA still think it's okay for human consumption. i don't know how it's done in Canada though but i have a gut feeling it might be the same. that's why more and more ppl have breast cancer and prostate cancer. doctors believe it's the technology that can detect cancer earlier....may be but if you talk to ppl, everyone got a family/friend had cancer. it wasn't this common before. 

Yes June, I went on this on my own and started the day after Christmas.  I am in full ketosis according to the strips but once I took off that first five pounds, I'm having a hard time getting any more off.  I decided to do this for a couple of reasons:  1.  It really can kick back cancer cells.  I can't tell any diff but I don't have a lump either, and 2.  I'm prediabetic as well and even now my fasting glucose is reading 106--it hasn't gone down at all.   I'm afraid that the shock of surgery will tip me over into full blown diabetes--have heard that it can, and I only want to deal with one health problem at a time.  Also have heard that if you're diabetic they won't do recon b/c of healing and infection issues.  I'm too vain to not have it done!  This whole thing about my BS staying high and not losing any pounds is kind of concerning me--is that even possible? I do exercise.   

Red, the best way to explain it is that it's like the Atkins induction program--no carbs, or only the ones you get from some nuts and leafy vegetables and stuff like broccoli. They say the reason it works is that you starve the sugar hungry cancer cells.  It's stricter than Atkins induction b/c you're not allowed dairy.  I heard that Atkins had been experimenting with his diet for cancer and wasn't getting consistent results and so the latest is to leave out dairy.  No matter--I think it causes me problems anyway. I don't really think dairy caused my cancer b/c I don't use that much anyway--I would if I could get it raw.  If I feel well enough this summer I'm going to grow a garden.  Maybe I can have my students come over and weed.  LOL.  I have 2 acres here--could even get chickens and a cow.  Better wait and see how I feel though.  

And yes June, I think stress was the biggest contributor to my cancer--it has been one hellaciously stressful last 5 years and just about the time I thought things were calming down and I could coast, I looked in the bathroom mirror as I was putting on my deodorant. . .  And now tonight I just had a horrendous fight with my 19 yo daughter which ended with us falling into each other's arms sobbing.  At least we resolved it before bed--it's been going on for days.  She was acting so insensitive and uncaring, which was really hurting me, and turned out she was just as scared as me.  And yes my aunt is coming to stay with me--she is a retired RN and long time cancer survivor herself.  

Oooh, last night was a perfect storm and I am a mess this morning and wish I had something to take to relax me.  I was up from 4:30 am after getting to bed at 12:30 due to the fight.  I started my period (again!) 2 weeks after the last and thought that maybe it would be light due to being so soon again, but no!  It's another one from hell--bled all over the bathroom floor waiting for my shower.  Scared to death of surgery b/c I react to anesthesia, which they didn't take seriously, and now I have to go to work! And I can't stop crying. 

Kinda sucked June, but I'm grateful I got thru it without crying after I got to school.  A thought occurred to me this afternoon.  My blood count always runs low, and a couple of months ago the doc told me to get back on my iron pills, which I have done and haven't got my results back from pre-op testing yet but if it was borderline, they'll probably have to cancel the surgery or give a blood transfusion.  Yikes, I've had 3 really heavy periods since the first blood test and can't seem to put the iron in as fast as it goes out.  

Not mad at all Red.  I hear you and I know what I'm eating is not ideal down here in Walmart-land, but I just decided that my biggest priority right now is getting my sugar down and nature doc is in complete agreement--I mean, there's other ways that might be better, like juicing maybe, but keto is like emergency blood sugar lowering.  I'm not sure that I expect it to cure my cancer, though it has for some--I just want it to not feed the cancer.  

red, have a great trip!!

One more week I'll be on a break. I just submitted my disability application. I need some time to heal recover....

Wow! Just read almost every post on this thread and I seriously could have written a lot of them. Had my first melt down today. I think the closer I get to my appt. on Weds. with the surgeon the worse it will get. Seems like this has been going on forever. Diagnosed on Dec. 12th. Movers came to our house in FL and packed us up and we headed out to CO for Christmas with my oldest daughter. She was diagnosed 2 years ago with Triple Negative BC at the age of 31. 2 rounds of chemo and a dbl mast. I thought we were done with BC and then wham, here I am with it.

Because of our move it has delayed me getting anything more done besides what was done in FL. I have had 2 MRI guided biopsy's done and 2 aspirations. So all I know is that I have DCIS and IDC. How much more has to happen before I can get a stage and a grade? I suppose I will find out on Weds. Trying to keep it together and get a list of questions together but really feel like I have been left in limbo. I just want this over with. And I don't do well with crying. The tears start and don't want to stop. I'm not one of those people that can cry and then just look like nothing every happened. My youngest daughter came by this morning and I am sure she knew what was up but didn't say anything. And I am sure she is worried about herself. What are the odds of 2 out of 3 getting breast cancer? My daughter was give the BRCA test and it came back negative and our cancers are completely different but it sure does make me wonder. We are both dental assistants, worked in the same office, and sterilized instruments with the same carcinogenic chemicals. Hers was determined to be environmental but mine is hormonal.

Sorry, I could go on and on but I'll leave it at this for now! Thanks for listening!

I am doing good y'all!  I have a Facebook page called, Cheer for Jodi, if you want to check it out.  I am just as honest on that as I am here:) 5 rounds of taxol done.  7 more to go!  I shaved my head yesterday.    I guess that was the last big thing for me to face and it is past me know.  I have a little more info on my situation.

I have an internal lymph node that is positive (close to my lung). It will require some specialist to operate the radiation procedure.  I met that doctor and love him!  He was the first one to say I was going to beat this and was confused why I asked.  I explained about the bone scan and he said that he read about that.  I also asked if they would continue to scan to make sure it hasn't spread.  Again he said yes.  I like him more than my oncologist:).   This means I will be in Houston 5 days a week for radiation:(. We were hoping that part could be done at home.

 Of course I have to be special lol!  He did say that I was smart for coming there.  That they knew what and where to look and that this is hardly found elsewhere.  Which means- it would have spread and come back tragically.

 So scary but so happy I followed my gut and did everything so fast.  What I had In me needed to come out!  And blessed they found the node!  Remember though most cases do not require fast action.  Mine did.  

K- I am sorry about your dx:(. We will try to help you out in anyway possible.  We are all going through this, but different paths which makes it so interesting!  

Red- so jealous!  I will have a three weeks off between FAC and radiation.  I plan on seeing some waves then.  We are also planning a Disneyworld trip for next May.  We are huge didn't people and it has been 3 years since we went last.  I mean my daughters and I are Disney!  DH just trails along:). But now we will have a new princess to take.  All three girls will have had there first Disney trip at 2 1/2 years old.  And my middle one, Ellison, will be graduating kindergarten on her birthday that May.  We will skip the last week of school (the older daughter, Emery, and me that is) and beat the summer crowd before Memorial Day:). Something to look forward too!

June- thinking of you too!  I just keep thinking every week is one week closer to this being over:)

Pipers-  sending positive thoughts for a peaceful recovery!

Hugs everyone!!!

jodi,

just liked your page...it's great, i will go often

pipers-  all I can tell you is that MD Anderson likes to shrink it first too.  They go chemo, but still same thing shrink first. Remember it broke their rule without knowing and got a lot of crap for it lol!  What are you using or doing to shrink it?  Thanks so much about my girls!  They are all so different it's crazy!