Chemo May 2013
Comments
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Funerals are such a pain to plan and expensive to pay for. When my husband passed I bought two plots from my parents. They had bought four when us five kids were young just in case (they got a really good deal). That helped me a lot because they passed their savings on to me. I want to go and purchase my casket and such now, pick out my stuff so it will be easier for my daughter when the time comes. I just haven't taken the time to go and do it. But my plot is paid for and so is the headstone, I bought a joint one so they will just need to add my info to it. Since I have no spouse and only one child everything will just go to her so I don't really need a will unless something happens to both of us at the same time. I hate thinking about all of this stuff.
I am more in the Christmas mood this year than I have been since my husband passed away (six years). Maybe it is because of what I have been through this year and feel I am at the end of healing now. I had a Christmas Party at my house for my siblings, their spouses and our parents. It went really well but I was exhausted after. I sat down for a few minutes to relax on the couch after they left before going to bed and when I stood up I could barely walk. I was so stiff and achy that I was hunched over and I am sure looked like a 100 year old trying to move. I hate these pills!!!
This year has gone by fast, I look back to when I found the lump the first of April and all I have been through since and can't believe Christmas is here and fortunately a New Year too. 2014 is our year!!! Thanks all of you for being such a great support group I couldn't have done this without you. If any of you ever make it to Utah I would love to meet you!!!
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Sounds like many of you are braving the wigless! I'm not there yet. I made myself a hair appointment for 12/27/13 - getting excited for, but definitely not brave enough to go without my hats/scarves until then - only around the house and family! Plus, with it being so cold (was 10 degrees this morning), hats are a good thing
Patty - couldn't agree with you more on the will thing...although, I haven't updated mine since our daughter was born. We are kinda like Kate - hubby and I don't agree on who should take care of our little one if something should happen to both of us. So, we are stuck. We just avoid the topic all together. But, maybe we need to rethink it! I don't know...we'll see
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Im having a meltdown of sorts....
I dont know whats wrong with me...
I stopped hy my boss' house after work in to help him with the slide show for his wifes services.., & he wanted me to take enough off my hat to show his visiting relatives my "jamie lee curtis head". He didnt mean any harm.... hes trying to make me feel better, but ive been crying all night about my looks...
I think the Tam has me emotional....
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oh Lorrie. THIS is such a tough time. Hang in there. I'm sure it can be a combo of the funeral along with the tamoxifen. Sending hugs.
Pat -
Lorrie went to see my onc today. She mentioned more often then not, this tends to be a very emotional time for us. While we are going through all the treatments we tend to focus on getting through them. Now we are kind of reflecting on what we've been through. She said it better then that. Maybe that's part of it. Hugs rrom me too.
Carla
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This is a difficult time and the Holidays can make it harder as well. Good luck everyone. I only have a few more things to get done for Christmas before my surgery next Tuesday. I am very interested to see how my nipple ends up looking. Could be very interesting.
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Arrgh - I have pain in my left chest just left of the sternum for about a month now and I have the feeling that I am more easily out of breath - I am really scared that the cancer has spread to the lungs or that chemo damaged my heart. I'll get it checked out today - it really worries me. Anybody else with chest pain? -
Argynis really glad you are checking it out. Maybe you can get some answers today as well. I have not had pain in my chest. Sometimes my pulse rate goes up there. Really hoping the best for you.
Blessings - Carla
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arty is, my locus in had something similar...scary, but not cancer. A surgery fixed it. Hope it is something as "simple" as that, if not simpler!
Pat -
argy. .. what did the Dr say?
Teresa, I can't wait to hear how happy you are with how the surgery went
Had my rads follow up yesterday & prior to seeing the doc, the nurse told me to strip from waist up & they wanted to take more pics of BOTH breasts.. arms on hips... arms up over head... etc... & that started the flow of tears.. she asked if I wanted her to stop, I said "just get it done!"
I was expecting my doc to examine... just wasn't expecting the humiliating pics & felt violated all over again. I know it sounds silly after I've shown my boobs to more people then can fill a stadium... I guess I was just getting use to not having to.. oh well. No more docs for me till Feb!
I've been achy & tired last week or two... like chemo, only MUCH milder... she says it could go two ways... 1- once I'm on the Tam for a couple months, I'll start feeling better.... or 2- this might be how I'll feel for the 5-10 years. I told her I'd give it a few months, but if it doesn't lighten up, I'll be giving up the pill!.... seriously, I can't imagine feeling like this everyday for a couple weeks, let alone years...
I hope everyone is doing well... I just finished the last of my Christmas shopping.. now I have to stay out of the stores! Haha...
Lorrie -
oh... & thanks for the hugs!
Back at you! -
Argy....thinking of you. I hope they can get results quickly.
My emotions are wacked also. My husband and I went on a 3 day trip to San Antonio to celebrate done with treatment. I come back and have my first follow-up with my MO. He proceeds to tell me he wants to test my cancer again for Her2 status. WHAT!!! Before chemo I had it tested 4 times. IHC +3 (positive) FISH (negative) IHC +2 (inconclusive) at a second opinion and mammaprint as negative. During this original retesting I thought it was on the mass from the lumpectomy but now he tells me it was all on my biopsy and doesn't think it will hurt retesting it. He believes in the FISH test and thinks it is negative but if not we can think about herceptin WHAT!! Why did we not do this before I did chemo. If I need herceptin I could be months in all ready. I was in such shock I did not know what go say. So he is testing it with the IHC. 1 is negative; 2 is inclusive, 3 positive. If it comes back 2 then we test again with the FISH.....the waiting games again. I am to follow-up with him on Wednesday which is two weeks from when he put the order in. I hate to be over dramatic but I want to ask him if he is nuts.
I do not have much to do but have not started Christmas shopping. So not in the mood.
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elkatho - sorry to hear about the HER2 confusion. The good news is that if you do need Herceptin its the easiest of treatments among them all. At least for most women! I had Herceptin from the beginning and now have it every 3 weeks until May. No SE's at all....in fact I love the stuff since it is very effective for most people who receive it. I also like it that I still get to see my MO every month or so. Makes me feel like I'm still under the umbrella of care so to speak.
Annie -
Thanks Annie. When we initially went through all the testing I thought maybe I should have the Herceptin....if my testing is so inconclusive maybe the "level" is close enough that Herceptin would still benefit me. Plus there are trials going on to determine if Herceptin may benefit her2 - cancers. I had finally accepted mentally that we picked the best course of action for me and we were moving on..then bam! Hopefully with additional testing the results will be more conclusive or I will be given the option of pursuing further treatment if I desire.
A peaceful day to All.
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Lorrie,
Sorry about the pics. They really ought to ASK us, not tell us. It IS a violation, especially when we aren't mentally prepared. Perhaps they could ask in a letter and offer compensation (hmm, sounds like prostitution)
Tired, achy and pains...have you tried vitamin B12? Boosts energy. Might take a few days to build up in your system. I had been taking it ,then ran out and took me a few weeks to replace it. I was exhausted! Anyhow, back on it and I think it helps with energy. As for the achy....my knees are the spot. Not achy unless I try to get up from a chair or walk down the stairs. I keep reminding myself that is a small price to pay if the tamoxifen is doing what it needs to . I also think if I complain and they switch me to something else I could be getting a whole boatload of problems. Not an easy choice, but at least there ARE choices. I just keep dreaming that this is all a big misunderstanding and I never had cancer. Sigh.
Elkato Nothing like dredging it all up again. Especially at this time of year. I agree with Annie, from what I have read, if you are positive it is better, try and hold onto that part of it. The continuation of treatment I can't comment to, I know we all just want to be done. Hang in there.
Done with Christmas shopping Lorrie? I used to be like that BC (before children!). Now I keep begging them to put some REASONABLE priced items on their lists. I am quickly running out of time. Snowing here today, expecting 6-10 inches. I wouldn't shop on a weekend anyway so will go and and "play" in the snow.
Pat -
Kate,
I hear you on the HER confusion. I wonder if I will hear the same conversation with my onc in March. Both of my HER tests came back as 2+, FISH neg, but 16% of the cells did overexpress the protein HER. Its scary how "grey" things can be for us. I think this reevaluation of HER status is due to the recent update in guidelines for treatment of HER patients. Let us know what happens. (((HUGS)))) to you. The gift that keeps on giving!
I am so thankful for all of you! Thank you for listening to me this year, we have all been through so much that no one can understand unless you have been in our shoes. All I want for Christmas is to have this stupid year end! One more thing, I would like the ability to stop thinking about it everyday. I hear this is perfectly normal for us during the first few years. Waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. We are all too young to live this way. Maybe a case of champagne is in order..LOL
Have to shop today...trying to get in the mood. Wishing everyone a great weekend! -
I saw the nurse as my oncologist is out of office. She thinks it may just be a rib inflammation - I'm not so sure about that. I'll take some anti inflammatory medications for a week and I'll get a chest xray if the chest pain does not go away. -
Good to hear from you Argynis...keep us posted.
Gully - a case of champagne sounds perfect.
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Spent the morning in church & the afternoon at the funeral.... I'm glad we went to church today... we don't go often, but when we do go, I'm always glad we did..
Have a good week all....
pat... hope the kids were able to get their lists to a manageable one..
There was a time we were able to do a lot for Christmas ... then after 9/11 & the economy crashed, I told the girls..
put everything you want on the list, but include smaller$ too.... They ended up thinking harder and there was more smaller $ items on their list than I thought there would be... now that things are back to normal again, I still get a good list from them all with small & of course bigger items..... it makes my shopping much easier! And they still get things they were hoping for... -
I had an extremely emotional weekend. I haven't bawled like that since my husband passes away. Insane....not really sure what triggered it. I think I have too much going on. This time of year (holidays) is always harder for me, but I have been doing well. In fact I was more excited this year than I have been for several year for Christmas. I know I am more stressed over this last surgery.....more than even my mastectomy and I'm not sure. why. So I think my mind freaked out with everything clumped together and I broke down.....big time and I really just don't do that. I'm at work today which would help but we are so slow with nothing to do until after the boss gets here this afternoon. Then tomorrow is the surgery. I'm getting my last free house cleaning today, those sure have been nice. So my house will be clean for people coming to check on me.
Have a good Monday everyone, I will let you know how things went with surgery tomorrow when I can.
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Teresa,
I'm passing a box of tissues!
Wishing you all the best with our surgery. The holidays are stressful and given your circumstances Even more so. My thoughts are with you.
Pat -
Big Hugs Teresa! You'll feel better now - break downs cleanse the soul! Sending good thoughts to you....
Annie
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Hugs Teresa. I hope the surgery goes well today - I'm sure it will after everything else you've been through...It's still such an emotional roller coaster. I cried my eyes out driving home from my gig on Saturday night thinking about those poor babies that were killed in the Sandy Hook tragedy. It was the 1 year anniversary and I just couldn't imagine how those parents must've been feeling...
Nothing much going on here except for being insanely busy and needing some kind of R&R time.
I really miss having some hair
I feel ugly all the time and it doesn't matter how many people say "You have the face for that short hair" or stuff like that, I see myself as ugly I just need bangs or something! Just a bit more than I have right now..... -
Aw Teresa I'm sorry you are going through such an emotional time right now. And today is your surgery. My prayers are with you. And with your surgeon. I wish you a speedy recovery and a beautiful wonderful Christmas.
Hugs to you - Carla -
Im with you Kate... I can deal with growing out short hair... its the bangs I need. I feel like my forehead is 3 feet tall.
Teresa, I hope it went well for you today!
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Teresa hope you are doing o.k.
carla
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ditto Carla's post....
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Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I felt better Monday and going into Tuesday. Surgery went well, I love my surgeon. My sister liked him a lot too and is thinking of having a boob lift and slight reduction from him. You should see my nipple, OMG! Well I can't really see it yet, it is encased in some contraption. So I have this big knob looking thing on the end of my boob for now. It's quite comical. I guess he will take that off when I see him on the 30th. I am sore from my belly button up to almost my neck, he took out my port too...yay! It is so nice to have that gone and that I was asleep when it was taken out. He filled in the small hole the port would have left too. My stomach is swollen and bruised from the lipo, so we shall see how it looks when I am healed. He also lifted my real breast some more. He couldn't lift it as much as he wanted to the first time. He said with breasts as large and sagging as mine were it was impossible to get it all with the few incisions, since I have healed for two months from the last surgery he was able to lift the breast to where he wanted it especially to match my new one. New boobs for Christmas with a weird (for now) nipple on one. He even fixed the hole left behind by them taking all of my lymph nodes from under my arm and did lipo under my other arm so I look better. My blood pressure was 117/72 when I went in for surgery, maybe I am finally calming down from this long year we have all had. I also see my Oncologist on the 30th for my first follow up with the hormone therapy pills. Have a great weekend everyone, you're the best!
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Glad all went well Teresa....now rest up and enjoy the holidays!
Annie
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Teresa....flag to hear you are doing well! And you got it in before the end of the year.....If I remember correctly that wad important to you.
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