Chemo May 2013
Comments
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Oh Teresa.... I'm so happy it went well am how excited you must be.... 2014 will be a great year for you... and all of us....
Once Pats done in Feb. .. we will be celebrating good times!
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Teresa, so glad all went well.....
What type of surgery was this? I still have to get my nipple and I was thinking that it wasn't going to be all that invasive - but now I'm worried! I was supposed to go back and see my PS on Dec 31 but he cancelled as he's off all that week so I'm going in January instead. I'm so envious of you having the port removed..mine is in til May when I'm done with Hercepten but it's so bothersome, it hurts me almost all the time...
So I have a "free weekend" of no work but I am getting another cold
WTF? This is like the 3rd in 2 months.....I just feel run down and generally sorry for myself..tired of all this... -
Theresa...here is to a speedy recovery'
Kate...hang in there. Have you tried the Manuka honey? The higher the "mgo?" (Or at least 400) the better....here is a link for Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search...
You also might consider the Zicam tablets...start as soon as you feel a cold coming on.
I had a miserable day yesterday.
First, I drove to the medical group 4 minutes from my house, that was in charge of my blood draws for chemo. I wanted copies of my lab reports for my second opinion doctor. Immediately they said I can't get them there,I had to go to the doctor that ordered the test (40 minute drive!). I got very upset and they offered to call that doctor office and ask for paperwork to be faxed to them...VERY nice of them. So they call that office and come back to me and say "the nurse has never heard of you". WTF, I was LIVID and told them I will drive there to get the lab results. The irony is I was at that docotrs office 1 1/2 weeks ago picking up my copy of my file to bring to the second option....and didnt realize til later in the week, when I read the file, that my labs were missing. They. SUCK!
So then My ENT. Office called in regards to an ultrasound I had done of my thyroid. However, they could not go over THOSE results, they wanted to see if I had my bloodwork done yet so the doctor could "read things clearly". So I get my ass in gear and drive to the lab (yes, the lab has to draw my blood or its not covered under my insurance). This is NOT the lab I was just in that was used for chemo labs, this lab is a 20 minute drive....lab lady was very nice, but she couldn't get blood from my "small vein" and had to use my "chemo vein". For some reason it set me off. So I sat there and cried quietly.
So I don't knowif it is "PTSD" from chemo or if it was the fact that my mother in law was hospitalized the day before. She had gone for a routine stress test and they she failed. So they sent her via ambulance to the hospital. She means so much more to me than my own mom. Anyhow, she was released from the hospital and they gave her beta blockers. The blockage was in an area they don't want to put a stint, something about making it worse...sigh.
Anyhow,I was quite weepy yesterday. Won't get thyroid results now til I don't know when...and do I really want them before Christmas! Ha! I keep "feeling like" something is in my throat area and it will come and go...but when they did the ultrasound it wasn't "that area". Geez I just want to turn the clock back!
So, Monday either hubby or I will pick up my mothers....joy....and will have the "pleasure" of having her in my house probably til Friday...I can't exactly throw her out the day after Christmas can I? I sound like a very ungrateful daughter. As much as she might not like being here because the kids fight every now and again I don't like HER being here because I have to wait on her hand and foot, I get nothing accomplished and I have to "yell" at the kids to be quiet. I am a prisoner in my own home.
Ok, I think it was the combo of all that made me weepy.
Went Christmas caroling with my oldest boy at the Veterans hospital nearby yesterday. I thought I could "hang in the room" while they (children) sang but there was no "hanging". As much as the veterans seemed to enjoy it I still wasn't out of my mood. I should have done what I thought of earlier. Go to a dunkin donuts, fork over $40 and tell them to use that money to pay for the customers til it runs out. I would have sat anonymously to witness it. Would love to see smiles on people's faces. Maybe I will get to that!
Anyhow, now that I have brought you all down! Have a Merry Christmas or a Joyous Holiday, whichever you prefer.
Pat
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Patty - that was a shitty day
I'm sorry. I guess we're all feeling a little of the PTSD now...I actually did buy the Manuka honey off Amazon but I am not taking it
That's pretty stupid on my account. It just tastes bad to me and I haven't found a good way to disguise the taste, or even to just fit it into my day. How do you take yours?BAHHHH - Sorry you couldn't enjoy the caroling either. I am hoping to use my "Christmas Break" to get back into the exercise routine. I am even thinking about trying a "run" today. I'll probably die trying!!
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Patty....that is crap what you had to deal with all in one day. I Often am dumb founded how inefficient and insensitive these providers are.They get so accustomed to the daily routine they forget they are working with humans and real situations. I know their offices are busy and doctor's time is valuable but I have a life also and a job and responsibilities that they act like do not matter. I hope you are having a better day today and someone does something nice for you as you deserve it!!
My her2 was tested again and IHC and fish both came back equivocal. Doctor not sure if he would recommend herceptin but is checking if my ins would even cover it with my test results. Kinda hoping it won't so my decision is made for me. I just want to be done and I will hope for the best moving forward. Sure I will change my tune again in 5 minutes.
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Hello ladies,
I am sad to read that so many of us are suffering from PTSD, include me as well. I just cant seem to put this stupid disease behind me even for a day. I am busy trying to make Christmas nice for my family, but I am just not into it this year. I know I should be but just cant get there. How on earth are we supposed to be ok living with this uncertainty all of the time! I get through my days by staying busy, but I still think about it everyday.
Patty, so sorry about your crappy day....sending you hugs!! I had a thyroid tumor in my twenties that caused me to pass out, it was putting too much thyroxin into my blood, causing my heart rate to sky rocket and then everything would go black. I also lost alot of weight, down to 102 lbs, I had surgery to remove it, and thank God it was benign. I have been taking thyroxin ever since. I read somewhere that their may be a link between thyroid issues and BC. I hope this turns out to be nothing for you.
Kate, so sorry your tests came back equivocal again. I am very interested in what you learn from your MO regarding this. My IHC came back equivocal as well and the FISH was neg but very close to the pos mark. My MO has not mentioned being concerned about needing herceptin, hope he is not dropping the ball, so to speak...ugh
I wish everyone strength to make it though this Holiday season, dont forget to be kind to yourself!
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Today is my day of rest.....I have been doing way too much after just having surgery which has made me tired, but for the most part I am feeling pretty good. I am even dating someone!!! Even though we have only known each other since the first part of November and have really only been out a few times he came to my family Christmas Party and fit right in yesterday. He asked me out for New Years too, so I am really looking forward to a great new year.
Yes it was important to me to get as much done this year as I could. I don't have the money to be paying out a ton on medical bills....get it done while my deductible and out of pocket was paid for 2013.
Pat I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having. I hope your Mom will try to understand that you don't have the mental and physical energy for everything. I don't think that others understand how cancer has affected us in so many more ways than just physically which is bad enough on its own.
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Kate, I put the Manuka honey into a cup of honey...just a teaspoon of it...use more or less if you want. One day I happened to have a fresh lemon so I squeezed a little of that in as well. If there is anything else you can sneak honey into? Yogurt, ice cream! A cupcake? Lol
Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I think I will feel better after the holidays and a few more scans. My children are driving me nuts, so is hubby. I think no one deserves gifts this year. They are fighting as I type this. I am just so done. Wah wah wah!
Theresa so glad to hear you are dating. And plans for New Years...you go girl!..I think that might be a smile on my face!...thank you.
Gully, would gladly take the weight loss with a thyroid problem...I've got a good number of lbs to lose.
I have been really tired in the mornings, but thought maybe it was the tamoxifen...maybe it is the thyroid?
Time will tell.
Pat
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Happy Holiday!! I have 2 questions.
1. Is anyone experiencing leg pain. Mine feels like it's muscle aches. I get stiff if I sit too long in a position. I always did before but now it seems worse. I finished chemo in Sept. and am now on herceptin every 3 weeks. Didn't know if that might be causing the aches? Perhaps there's a vitamin that might help. I'm going to call my Onc. today.
2. I haven't had my period since April. I just spoke to my Gyno and he said it's probably just been suppressed from the treatment and that it could come back 6months-1 year?? Anyone else in the same boat?
Thanks.
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hello mcgis,
I have not had my period since May, my MO says that the chemo probably slammed me into menopause, will wait for one year and do a blood test to see.
My legs do not ache but my back does! Just finished PT today, but it still is only about 80 %. Trying to forget about it...but...
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Im just getting cought up. Sorry if I miss respinding... but I am reading posts..,,
Pat, I would have been a "postal" nightmare after rhat crap..... im sorry...
Gully...I haven't had a period since my first chemo... back in may (when I started chemo) & the tamoxifin is suppose to keep it that way, I guess, since I was pre-meno....
Ive been super sensitive lately... not letting anyone know, cuz I dont want them to think im nuts... bur crying a lot behind closed doors & being happy if the fam is around. It sucks.
Went ro dinner with one of my girls and grandbabies & drive to look at xmas lights & all I wanted to do was be in bed and cry.... I hate my hair short & the way I look while everyone wants to take pics... ugh....
Sorry.... ill pop back in when im in a better mood
I hope everyone has a good chr
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McGis, I had one period during chemo, now nothing. I was told tamoxifen would highly likely keep it away.
Lorrie, I think it's the season. Yes, I hate my picture being taken too. But I also realize we aren't guaranteed tomorrow (maybe there is a bus with my name on it?). so let them take all the pictures they want. (Doesn't mean I have to like it though! Ha!).
So most of the gifts are wrapped, getting ready for church..well, I'm sitting on the iPad thinking about getting ready for church! Lol. Moms here driving me nuts. I think her presence just increases my stress. I'm running up and down the stairs getting crap ready and had to run one son out to the stores for his shopping and I'm baking and wrapping and she wants me to read about changes in her prescription plan coverage. Really? So I told her it really isn't a good time and perhaps we could do that the day AFTER Christmas when things are calmer. She wasn't happy. Sigh. I guess I could have traded doing her hair for reading her prescriptionplan. So much to do, so little time.
So I will attempt to immerse myself in the spirit of the season in Church. Last year my mother insisted to take us out to dinner after church, an idea she came up with when we were early to church. So we had to call a restaurant from church to find a place to eat and had to leave early to do it. I was not happy. And she didn't pay the bill! Lol. This year it is home and our usual appetizers for dinner. Less stress....I hope!
Have a joyous Christmas.
Pat
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aaahhhhh....
hosted hubby's family for Christmas tonight... cooked all day ... cleaned all day yesterday....
=
Exhausted!
It was my own fault. I love hosting parties and in a moment I was feeling well, I volunteered. It was great but I hurt from head to toe right now. Haha
My youngest DD... you know the one (that I complained about thru treatment) surprised me tonight.
Ever since the the girls were born, I started a tradition that on Xmas eve, everyone opens ONE gift. And it's always pajamas (so Christmas morning pics always show is in jammies) well... In the 26 Christmases, I have never opened a gift on Christmas Eve because even tho I've done it for years, no one thinks to get mama/wife jammies to open. Tonight, after I passed out the "eve" gifts... Bradie came over and handed me one.... it was so cool for her to think of doing it..... ugh....
I hope you all enjoy the holidays.... be safe & hug your family....
Pat.... I hope you are able to get a few minutes of "no mom" time and I hope Santa is good to all of you this year!
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Lorrie,
Kids woke us at 7:00 (standing orders for the past few years, they have to wait til 7:00! But can do stockings whenever they get up). I came out and Mom was sitting there, I almost fell over! Lol (she usually sleeps in). Anyhow, embraced the moment, opened gifts and then she and I had our traditional Christmas breakfast that no one else in the house will eat. bagels, lox and cream cheese. Delicious. So we had our bonding moment.
I gave mom a far reward coffee pot that she has gone on about over the years about how hers had broken. When she opened it she said "what is this?" Lol Alzheimer's?
Nana is now taking her nap and we are "screaming" at the kids to be quiet because nana is sleeping. I know I'm not the only one that would like to see her leave. So sad! I truly wish she could lighten up and enjoy. 75 yrs old, I know people who are 90 and still fun! My MIL came for breakfast, oohed and aaahed o ER the gifts the kids got and played with them. Night and day! So anyhow, she takes her nap and I get a break.
Merry Christmas everyone. Take lots of pics!
Pat
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Merry Christmas to all of you beautiful women. I've been reading but not participating. I think maybe the arimedix is doing a number on my brain. Stopped taking it yesterday at least for awhile to see if I can think any better.
My thoughts are with you. (even if they are mumble jumbled) Blessings.
Carla
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Merry Christmas to all of you!
My period stopped after the first treatment in May but it came back only 6 weeks after my last treatment. I am only 29 - I would have been happy about a little longer break.
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Carla I'm having the foggy brain on the anastrozole, not fun. But I am doing ok. I am happy that the aches and pains have given me a couple weeks break (so far) and hoping it will continue.
I got a haircut on Christmas Eve. No my hair isn't that long, but the hair growing over my ears was really wispy so we trimmed that up over my ears so it will thicken up. My hair was so hard to get to go the way I want and it has been much easier to handle since the trim. I think so much of it was uneven that cleaning it up helped a lot. So now I don't have to use a ton of gel to get it to comb nice, just a little gel is working ok now.
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Pat.... you had a PET scan done right?
I dont know, but I feel like I want one done. I have this really uneasy feeling. I dont feel right & I dont think its tamixifen related... I have really bad lower back and left hip pain.... hubby even bought me a sleep number bed to see if that would help but hasnt. I have had a sharp headache at the back/lower part of my head for weeks. Advil helps, but when it wares off, the pain returns. Exhausted beyond anything during treatment. Yes seriously.
Ive been chocking it all up to what ive been thru this year, but now maybe im just being paranoid.... but im afraid of maybe my cancer didnt all die with treatment..
Do you guys think im just feeling normal doubts with my pains? After I was done with treatment, they just said "see you next year". No tests... not even blood draw since before my last chemo treatment.... ugh
Sorry... I just dont want to go to dr and start asking for useless tests (no insurance) but how can I be sure?
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no PET. Scan for me. Nothing! Not until the CT for my DIEP accidentally picked up the lung nodule and liver cyst. Liver thing was good, lung questionable. I am meeting with onc next week and will bring up the pain I have had in my back along the ribs.
Also the damn ENT never got back to me with my thyroid sonogram results and related bloodwork. I drove there yesterday to see about it in person and they were closed by the time I got there. So Monday I will drive over again. I feel like there is something in my throat.
This sucks! Lorrie, I have no advice. I feel we are all in limbo!
Pat
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k.. thanks pat....
I'm sorry u wasted a trip! So frustrating..
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Lori,
I think what you are feeling is very normal. My doc tells me the year after treatment is harder than the treatment year. I have had back pain ever since my exchange between the shoulder blade and spine, also the top of my ribs extending down the rib cage with exertion. Have not seen the MO since September. He said then if my back still hurt in March he would do a bone scan, but thinks its too early to see anything even if its there. I am trying hard not to worry about it but its difficult. He did not order any blood work, except a Vitamin D level, no scans unless I am symptomatic (ie really think recurrence has happened). He did not seem too concerned with the back pain stating that my body has been though alot this year and needs time to heal. I am on 6 month appointments. I am not fatigued at all, but am still dropping weight, I think due to the anxiety of it all. I still take meds to sleep! I think limbo is a perfect word for how we feel. Other people on this site say that it gets easier with time, I am still waiting...this disease sucks so much!
Pat: So sorry you are still waiting on your thyroid results! If it helps at all, my thyroid problems have been a piece of cake compared to BC, excluding my thyroid surgery of course, which also sucked, I was 26. I am betting that yours is fine Pat, my endocrinologist said if you have a serious problem with it, you know. Ie cant keep your eyes open, because you are so tired for hypothyroidism, and for hyperthyroidism your heart rate sky rockets, you lose alot of weight, and you pass out alot. (This is what happened to me)
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Guys. I'm in the same boat. I feel like I need more tests etc. Why am I so exhausted, why do my muscles and joints hurt constantly? My onco is very dismissive and u guess it just is the after math of breast cancer. I just want to feel the way I felt before diagnosis. He did give me the info of a rheumatoid doctor but I'm not even sure I want to make the appointment as he'll probably run a bunch of tests and find nothing. I was driving home last night from my di gig thinking what if I can just will my mind to move on and stop feeling pains and worry. I guess easier said than done. It is reassuring to hear that you are all feeling the same way. Perhaps it takes longer than we even know to rid our bodies of the effects of chemo
n
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Lorrie lately I have read so many forums and peoples comments on tamoxifen and anastrozole. And so many women have complained of bone and joint pain on both meds. I'm sorry you are dealing eith it. it sucks. Choking it up all year hits it right on too. The last time I saw my onc she pretty much stated that right about now is a very difficult time for patients emotionally. No shit Sherlock.....I'm going to guess you are all right re the reoccurrence. But if you are wondering, I think getting it checked out is good. Get it off your mind that way. A couple weeks ago I went in bec I felt a burning sensation in my left breast. The onc said I was o.k.. so now it is mostly off my mind. I mean, she could be wrong. I will feel better about it after my mammagram in February.
Kate I'm still tired too. All of this has certainly taken its toll on us. Sometimes I wonder how am I going to deal with what is on my plate called life. Then I think one day at a time. And sometimes my montra is I trust you Lord. I trust you Lord,
Pat sorry you had to drive to get your results and they were closed. Grr. Hope the results are normal...Is your Momma still with you?
Teresa so glad your bone pain and aches has given you a break. Maybe they are gone for good. Fingers crossed. Sorry about the brain fog though. No fun. No fun whatsoever.
It's been a few days since I stopped taking the anastrozole. My brain seems to be better. I know I couldn't have written this post while taking it. I was willing to accept a certain amount of pain etc. But not my brain. I was getting some memory loss before chemo. My mom has bad dementia and I believe I will be following in her footsteps. I don't need to be pushed into it any sooner. My disability will be done with January 2. Since the lady I was care giving passed away 3 weeks into my disability, I have no job to go back to. So I think I will go for unemployment. If I get it, I will see about being able to go back to school while on it. If that is approved ( I think it might) I will go for my CNA . I am hopeful my brain can handle the schooling part and that my body can handle the rest it. Gotta do something though. My husbands disability certajnly won't take care of us. O.k. Carla...One day at a time. I trust you Lord,
Carla
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Tomorrow is my post op check with my surgeon and also follow up with my Onc since being put on Anastrozole. I was assuming he would take blood to make sure all is ok.....I will let you know how my appointments go. I didn't have a PET either, my Onc said I didn't need one....no need to run tests that really aren't necessary was what he said.....
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No scans here....My onc told me off that bat that he doesI Not not do scans unless I have symptoms. Good to hear other docs handle same . I am always wondering if I picked the right doc. I do not feel connected with him...I feel like a number. I agree this is a difficult time.....at least when I was diagnosed I was on a mission and now I feel a bit lost. My ribs are,sore also I can barely stand wearing a bra. I went for another sizing and purchased a new bra......I still am uncomfortable. I think I am building up anxiety and hold it in my stomach and twitch by rib cage...makes my bra annoy me even more. ....odd...I know. I also started doing yoga for breast cancer along with what feels like shoveling everyday so I hope that is what is making me ache in my surgery breast.
Happy New year. 2014 is going to be better for all of us!
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One more thing....I find it difficult to know how to answer when asked......are you cancer free? Yes...well as far as we know. From the people I talk to I think they expect me to have scans because so many other cancers go that route. Ugggg....My first mammogram since dx is Jan 10th.....looking forward to having that under my belt but not looking forward to having it at all.
Still waiting to see if my ins will cover herceptin ....can tak30day.
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gee, makes me feel good that I'm not the only one "in limbo" and I say that sarcastically! Sucks for all of us to feel like this.
Carla, hubby took my mom home on Friday. I would say it was an "enjoyable" visit, only because I was so busy running here there and everywhere trying to get ready for the holidays. She is definitely forgetting things. Sad really. She has never been a happy or grateful person, add forgetful and it actually can be worse! Ha!
Seeing the dermatologist tomorrow for a full body check. A few weeks prior to starting chemo I saw him for some "stuff" on my face....precancerous cells that were treated with chemo cream, others "frozen off". Had something frozen off my chest a few weeks ago, At this point i feel like I am wasting my time. I want answers from the second opinion oncologist about my lung, and my ribs. And don't you know a snowstorm is supposed to hit NY on Thursday, the day of my second opinion. Wah wah wah!
Had some neighbors over for dinner and drinks. I was told to limit alcohol (by nutritionist) also told to limit sugar (by nutritionist). When I had seen the pulminologist he had mentioned that some scans use a "sugar enchanted dye" to spit cancer because the cancer up takes it quickly. That was an eye opener to me. Why didnt the oncologist mention all this shit!
I'm doing my best to be optimistic. At this point my only optimism is that all the shit that aggravates me will be inherited by my husband and I won't have those worries when I am gone.
Happy New Year?
Pat
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Two days girls and this s&^%y year will be over!!!!!
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8:00 am wake up call from ENT. Bloodwork is good. Nodule on thyroid has grown slightly. Come back in 6 months for next ultrasound. I am comfortable with that. This was biopsied when found the first time and said to be benign. I thought it had gotten so big based on a "discomfort swallowing" at times. (See, everything is a tumor now right!). ENT said it was likely from heartburn or acid reflux. Funny he mentioned that...I've had some acid reflux at night. Last night woke up with the wine in my mouth that I had drank earlier. Ugh! I have no doubt that reflux was caused by chemo. Off to buy some Prilosec.
Pat
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Yay for the news today, Pat.... sorry about the reflux...
Gully... your right! Here's my 2014 mantra:
Happy New Year to all of you wonderful women! I've been so lucky to have had you all with me during the worse year..... I truly believe this forum saved me from myself at times as well as saved my marriage.... not sure the hubby could have taken all the crap I put out on this site... haha
I truly hope we all have a better year & many more after!... I better sign off... tearing up.... haha got something in my eye or something...
Lorrie
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