October 2013 Chemotherapy

thinking of you Pam!

Aaww, thanks ladies! You all made me feel better. Sometimes it just all seems overwhelming and I just felt like bitching about it yesterday. I've always been perfectly healthy until now so this is an adjustment for me. I will have Herceptin until next October. I don't mind that stuff...liquid gold as far as I'm concerned. But yeah, a long haul.

Whoever mentioned Publix...that is just the best grocery story ever! I miss be able to do my grocery shopping there. I lived in Florida for nearly 10 years.

Gavinsgrandma, our timeframes are pretty identical then. And yes, the decision was made for me in surgery that I would have to delay reconstruction. I understand but it is another thing to have to wait for.

Hope everyone is doing well and good luck to all of us heading to the chair tomorrow. We've got this!

Pam good luck on your final A/C and true to form it will kick your butt for a bit, but know that I am with you in spirit as I know exactly how you feel😰 Praying for minimal SE'S and we hope to hear from you when you are feeling better.

Macy, glad you are feeling better and trust me we all need to bitch and I would say more often than less, and yes it is so hard to wait for recon, I think I cried until their were no tears left to cry for the first several weeks after surgery. I felt and still do like so many of my choices have been ripped out from under me and I continue to have meltdowns on a regular basis and I am a pretty positive and strong person but dealing with cancer is a whole new animal.

Anyone ever feel like the people around you, even though they love you, they just don't really understand what you are going through, physically, emotionally and mentally?

Headeast, I totally understand, I have always been healthy, eaten healthy and no family history and yet we get it. Grrrrr is right.

Shary

Had my final AC today.  Everyone is acting like I'm done, calling me and congratulating me on finishing.  Yet they know I'm no where near done now on to 12 weeks of T. I'm happy about being done with AC, but really 12 more weeks isn't done.  I do have to admit, time went fast, hopefully the next 12 will be fast too.

I've been crying for three day and i'm not normally a crier.  My social worker fiancee wants me to join a support group.  Does anyone else go to a support group?  

Congrats to everyone that finishes A/C this week,including me this Friday! I know it's small steps but 1 step closer to being finished. I will do 12 weeks of Taxol then will be doing BMX. How long after finishing the chemo will they schedule your surgery? I hope it isn't too long? Then rads for 6 weeks and then implants. Gee! I might be finished with all of this by late next summer! Lol! Then a vacation for me for sure!!!!

MsJean63....please tell us your experience with taxol. I too am scheduled for 12 weekly treatments. I can't imagine having the same SE's in a shorter time span. I am still down from my second AC treatment that I received on Thursday. My third is on thanksgiving day! Congrats to all who are done.

This forum is my group therapy.

Amen to that Wrenn! If i did not have this place to vent, my friends and family would probably not be able to deal with me! Most really have no clue about the realities of what we go through..which is probably a good thing.

mfm - I did not have rads, but a number of onc and RO do not start until you have had some recovery from chemo - of course this depends on what your surgical situation was. The rationale is that your soft tissue is damaged by chemo, you are already fatigued, and your counts are low. Rads affects all of these things too, so it is compounding your SE from chemo. I would ask if this is a scheduling thing, or a necessity for your individual situation. Maybe you can buy a little time to recover after chemo. Here is some info from BCO on timing:

"In general, when it's part of your treatment plan, chemotherapy is usually given first after surgery. Radiation then follows chemotherapy — it's not usually given at the same time. Depending on what chemotherapy you’re taking, there can be anywhere from 2 weeks to a month between the last chemotherapy dose and the start of radiation. For example, the wait is about:

• 1 month between the last dose of an anthracycline-type chemotherapy (Adriamycin [chemical name: doxorubicin], Ellence [chemical name: epirubicin]) and the start of radiation
• 2 to 3 weeks between the last dose of a taxane (Taxol [chemical name: paclitaxel], Taxotere [chemical name: docetaxel], or Abraxane [chemical name: albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel]) and the start of radiation"

Gram, & all,

it is all small steps! I had my first Taxol Tuesday & know there is still a long road ahead. But keep trying to tell myself breast cancer & treatment is not my entire life (though it seems it at times) and I have other things to do & look forward to.

I do find a lot of people surprised I have such a long treatment schedule. Seems many think that it just involves a couple months. I also found many people thought having a lumpectomy was no biggie, just pop out that lil lump & go on with your day. I feel kinda bummed when I have to explain how it all went down, lymph nodes, margins, that it wasn't all that easy a thing, that more treatment & surgery is needed.....Sometimes I feel when explaining to them, that I am telling them more than they want to know! I really think (& I was guilty) many people don't know how involved & how long a time this all takes. But we are WARRIORS, we are fighting the battle!

I agree... This is my place where everyone understands, and it would be nicer in person. If there are every any Miami area ladies or persons traveling to here/thru here I'd love to meet. Or if youd like/need to talk to someone, just PM me and we can exchange numbers.

I also agree special thanks to Special K and Pbrain and a lot of ladies whose names I haven't memorized yet... who have come before us... for sharing so openly their knowledge and experiences.

And for the newbies and slightly experienced like me, who also share some very private things so that we may all know, what could be "normal" for us.

My vent of the day.... I received these several times yesterday, from persons knowing I was going to chemo today.....What gets me are those well wishing persons, who tell you "just a few months" "You'll see and this will all be over" or .."the worst is over"(I guess they mean the BMX)" now its just chemo for a few weeks and you are finished"......... I don't have the energy to explain anymore. I don't fault them, I just realized how very unknowing people are about the topic.

I wish you all well, time for me to get ready to go. My appt is 9:45 (was moved back a bit) so I am going to enjoy a cup of coffee then finish packing my bag with goodies (didn't eat them last time, just feels good having them)

Huggs to all,

Vivian

My husband and I used to fight about stupid stuff, now nothing is that important. Our relationship is changed and nothing is that important any more. I tell my kids I love them a lot more, if that is even possible. We do a lot together, I try to be less cranky but this whole breast cancer is getting in the way!

I do post statuses on my facebook page telling them about stupid stuff I don't want people to say to me e.g: "

"Fair warning...the next person who asks me how many chemo treatments I have left, and then replies, "that's not so bad" will be punched!

I'm just saying......"

I think it has been very helpful to those around me, not so subtle, but that has never been me anyway.

Good morning from the West Coast, I just love you ladies and reading through your post's really makes me feel like I am in a place where you really understand. I do have a small rant and then only positive thought's for the day, let's see how can I put this in a nutshell? My treatment center is a 6 hour round trip from my front door, I finished my 4 A/C treatments and spent the night each time to get the Neulasta shot 24 hours later and made a 1week f/u each time. Now I have had 2/12 Taxotere and my ANC and WBC are not coming up as fast as MO would like them to, so Dr orders a Neupogen shot for me to get here at our local hospital on Tuesday but Insurance has my Auth tied to my chemo facility. I do labs this morning and if my counts are low then instead of getting my 3rd treatment tomorrow we have to drive (6) hours round trip for a >~^%~>|~|>€ shot!!!!!!!! If labs are good we make the trip tomorrow for Taxotere #3. It is such a logistical nightmare and half way through chemo basically it is starting to drive me bonkers. End of rant

For all of those that have had or having Tx this week, I pray for minimal SE'S and I hope that we can all find some sort of peace with all of this through the upcoming holiday season, it can be stressful anyway and most of us have never had to deal with cancer at the same time.

Best Wishes, Shary

when I am really down I try and think of at least one thing that has been a positive. For me, it had been spending time with my daughter. I have been off work since July. This time has allowed me to spend more time with her and just slow down. It has actually really helped her to have me around. Before all of this I never slowed down. I worked all the time. Going back to work in a few weeks and I know everything will pick up but I vow not to get too stressed about work and still spend time with family.

schoolcounselor - thank you - that was a sweet compliment! My main motivation for hanging out with you guys is to pass on any helpful info that I can - I remember well that overwhelmed feeling, and decision making, or finding solutions, when you don't feel good is even harder! Supplying info or helpful hints is a way to bring up discussion points for all of you with your docs so you can either ask for things, or do things, that make this all easier.

mfm - hope you can catch a little break in between, if possible. Rads has its own set of issues and going into it a bit more rested might be helpful. There is no way you could have predicted the future, and how you might feel, when you set those appointments - so don't feel bad about it!

naiviv - it is not out of the realm of possibility that I am in Miami - DH is from there, DD goes there for boat stuff a lot. They will be there this weekend, in fact, I will be home dog-sitting! My DD is about to finish her internship so is now job hunting and there are two dolphin facilities in the Keys, so they are visiting on Fri. in Miami, then on to the Keys on Sat. I will get in touch next time I am there!

vintage - I had a long treatment schedule as well, and a boatload of surgery. Don't expect others to "get it" and then you won't be disappointed when they don't, because they won't. I found that friends and family "forgot" that I was still receiving treatment, and had more upcoming surgery. When you move on to Herceptin alone it gets much better - you just pop in, get your H (I recommend getting that infusion for 90 minutes - faster and you can get some mean and nasty aching - they ran mine faster on the first H only, big mistake) and then on with your day. Your hair will be growing, things will be getting better, you will feel better - it is hard to see that right now because you are still in the thick of it. I felt like Norm from Cheers - I walked back into the chemo room and the nurses all yelled "hi" to me because I had been going there for so long! I can tell you from the other side - the time will pass and when you look back on it you won't really be able to articulate how long it was - it was just a period of time that you were in the trenches, and then it is done. It is kind of like being in labor - you remember it but not all the details.

gavinsgrandma - my parents used to have a cabin in Aspendell - I think of it every time I see Big Pine in your avatar! I have a suggestion that several of the ladies on Triple Po and TCH threads did. Can your center, that your insurance auth is tied to, send you the Neupogen/Neulasta? You can inject it yourself, if you are game. Most who do it themselves inject in the tummy, and it actually hurts less there for most if they have a bit more fat (not saying that YOU do, lol!) than on the back of your arm. I believe it is a sub-q injection so there is not really much skill involved. It is way cheaper for insurance that way too - that is why some do it - and to save a long trip. If you are up for it, ask about it.

smrlvr - two things - many people get a nasty headache on the first treatment - I did, mostly from the Carboplatin. Nothing touched that headache - it hurt to lay down. Many report that on subsequent tx they did not have the headache. Also, for me Zofran gave me a headache and did not stop nausea. I did not figure that out until the second tx. For you, you may have to get to the second tx to see if you get a headache. If you have Zofran and are taking it, try switching to another anti-nausea med to see if the headache improves. I found that a very warm bath was helpful.

On the subject of how I feel changed - I was always strong and independent and that hasn't changed - but now, other people's sometimes thoughtless words or actions don't bother me, my approach to life is that it is short and precious, I will not spend time worrying about things that don't really matter. If I can get through this experience, and come out the other side and still function effectively, I am freakin' TOUGH! I appreciate other people's kindness and try to be kind at every opportunity, I smile at strangers and people I pass by because we never know what burdens they carry that are unseen to us, I try to be helpful to everyone, I don't waste time and I have learned to say no more easily, I always told family and friends that I loved them on a daily basis, but now I make sure I am looking them in the eye when I say it, and I realize that I can't change the past and can't control the future, so any time spent worrying about that means I am not living right NOW!