In shock

morwenna.....I second benny's thoughts. Be kind to yourself, recognize the energy (though happy) the recent trip consumed. Don't discount the underlying stress of RTW, either. Huge change in your recent "normal".....can't just blow it off....stress is a huge factor in how we feel physically. I bet, if you didn't "know" that tomorrow was the day that work starts again...you'd be feeling a whole lot different right now!!!!

benny....that would be awesome to get a copy of the sleep info....Please let me know if there is any cost involved.....I defo don't want you paying for material for me or sbe. It'll be a great "reason" to plan another get together! After the horrible drive yesterday....there is no way I would want to sign up for a night "group" at Foothills, at this time of year. How is your sleep, by the way...??? Better??? Those chickens are a hoot....can't wait to hear how the pasta night with the mechanic goes!

Hey ladies - guess what I bought yesterday - that's right, a turkey baster, and I used it too! Minds out of the gutter please. I guess the combination of the discussion on here and watching Julie and Julia inspired me to roast a chicken for the first time in my life - hence the turkey baster. Have told DH that I'm going to try my hand at French cuisine on Sundays. Anyway, Poulet Poele a l'Estragon and lemon soufflé were hits - Brussel sprouts and roasted potatoes were just a tad under done. Why has a 52-year old woman never roasted a chicken in her life - well, because I've been a vegetarian for 38 years (although reintroduced fish to my diet 4 years ago). Anyway, DH seemed appreciative of my efforts, and I enjoyed the cooking.

Liefie, won't be long now until you're on your way - I hope you have a wonderful time in SA. Kind of divine providence that your DH 'a gall bladder issues were picked up during his training, rather than his official test.

Websister, Christmas crafting on a wintry afternoon sounds like a lot of fun. DH and I are also receiving updates on each new milestone grandson hits - definitely something to bring a smile and a reason to celebrate!

Edi, shared with you that I had this fantasy that BC would propel DH and me into our own Shades of Grey - a romantic and sexual rebirth - but alas, NOTHING could be further from the truth! Still, I haven't given up hope - I often think that if DH and I could get our acts together sufficiently to have even one perfect day, I could leave this world in peace.

Momo, sorry to hear that the tree did not pan out. Have to say my ideal is still a real tree. Cheating a bit this year - spending Christmas in Nova Scotia with my brother and family and he always has a 10 ft+ real tree that they go out and pick from a tree farm and chop down themselves. I hope your purple tree will fill you with joy. You know, I find once the lights are on, it doesn't much matter what's underneath!

Traii, hope your DS has a great farm visit - something amusing about heading to a farm on a double decker bus!

Benny, good luck re: finding advice re: how to get chicken poop out of a white carpet - think those are two things that don't usually go together! It's wonderful that your chickens roam free in your house!

Does anybody watch Duck Dynasty? Said to DH over dinner tonight, "I have to confess that you sound a whole lot and look a little bit like Phil Robertson". DH's response? "I've noticed that myself -although I actually think I'm more like Jase". Ah, southern men - gotta love 'em.

Time to Skype with my sisters, then put in a call to my MIl.

Have a wonderful week!

Hi gorgeous girls .
Going to get specs unmangled today. DH out playing guitar with his friend all day. Edi mooching around the shops.Bliss.

Liefie, so glad DH has found cause of pain.Fifty shades a load of rubbish, admit to reading first book quite amusing really.Face book sent it viral, shops here sold out.Just wish I had written the freakin thing, she has made a fortune !!
You have a wonderful safe trip on Wednesday. How lovely to be spending extra time with the family. Don't you forget we need lots of pics. Sure family will help you put at least one on here.
Like you, have been back on messages from Carla and as you say there was no inkling of what was to come.
Her daughter had pics of her funeral on f/b, Amazing pictures on stands in the church of Carla and the sun was shining outside for the burial. Her family paid tribute to her and the community are now fund raising for the family.
Her faith meant so much to her, someone said she faced her fate with a smile. That is the Carla we all knew and loved.I have promised she will never be forgotten by us all.

Adagio, My church has a healing session just before the service and qualified healers take you o the front and place their hands on or over you. Really feel the need to go again at the moment.
How did your silent retreat go. ?
Mexico sounds amazing, my ED went there for her honeymoon when she married DH no 1 many years ago.
Each day is a gift and we SHOULD remember that X

Momof, Xmas tress can be such a pain !! Last year as I felt like sxxt due to starting chemo I just decorated a 6ft silk plant I have in the living room. Got lots of compliments Might move my ass this year and get green one out of the loft.
Had a real one years ago, looked and smelled fab, just a pain to get out after xmas, needles everywhere DH didn't think of wrapping anything around it.
Purple is a fab colour, my DD had a black one the other year,to match lounge decor.

Nihahi, how did day in class go ? Hope you behaved LOL.You lifted our spirits and we know you are a good girl really.
Whiteout sounds soooo scarey. Keep safe. X

Caitlin, DH and I have been together over 50 years, very few shades of anything ha ha.Roast chicken yum. Basters are handy for that as they stop you burning fingers. I always roast spuds for a good hour, even when par boiled. Try scratching tops with a fork as you put them in roasting tin, and they get a lovely crispy ridged surface.X

Websister, Baby's laughter is a tonic,looking at recipes for xmas cookies to take to my ED's ,sugar free, as two of us are diabetic. Found a tin of cutters in back of cupboard so should be fun in a few weeks.Happy crafting to you X

Morwenna, Youtube video, fantastic loved it !! Feel as if someone has sucked ALL my energy out of me too.Was feeling really good but not now. Think events recently have knocked wind out of sails. You have also had a trip and a half. Good luck with work. Wish I could go back. X

Traii, you sound super. DS will adore double decker, my friends daughter had a big red London bus to ferry her wedding guests from one venue to another. The grown ups were in their element too. Good luck with the milking. X

Benny, Ckicken poop !! Diapers come to mind lol. Hope one of remedies given works. They sound like such fun most of the time.
If anyone saw one in the window hope they thought they were having a senior moment.
Wish I had your Doc, don't think I will do the counsellor either, they will just say need to bring DH along and no thanks.
Saw 9 1/2 weeks, or part of it at least, ghastly film !!
Can't believe it is a year since that chemo episode for you. Mine started Halloween so this year was poignant to say the least.
Get the sauce on and that lovely mechanic around a.s.a.p.

Gonna run around tidying up tip of a house, DH worse than GD's.Talking of which DD's daughter was 7 last week and wanted a sleep over !!!! Imagine house with 7 little girls plus a choc fountain. = NO SLEEP for heavens sake. Everyone warned her but she never listens, very intelligent but with NO common sense.If GD wants it GD gets it. Other GD spent yesterday recovering will try and post resuling photo after this, her face is a picture.

Love to ALL X

Morwenna, hope you get the twitching under control soon. Must be so annoying, eh? As for the exhaustion, it is probably just a reaction after the high that you've been on for the last few weeks. I still experience a sudden fatique and breathlessness now and then where I just have to sit or lie down, and I'm 19 months PFC. It is getting fewer and farther between, and hopefully it will go away completely eventually.

Benny, your sense of humour is soooo precious, and I always enjoy your stories. Those chickens are hilarious - did you get the poop out? Any news on the mechanic, hmmmmm?????

Nihahi, we know you're a very good girl, don't worry. Was lovely to tease you though. To always be prim and proper is just not balanced, I find, and laughter is so good for all of us. What are you up to today? You asked about DH diet now with his gallbladder problems. I think it is mostly rich, fatty foods and alcohol that he has to avoid. Will be a real challenge in S.A though where our family always go out of their way to treat us when we visit . . . not to mention the lamb spitroast that kicks of the wedding festivities next Friday night, and the wedding itself the next day. Lovely food everywhere, and he will have to be so careful, or pay the price. He is a real foodie, and loves to try everything. That pain is not fun - had it myself 2 years ago. I will happily give birth before I endure that pain again, honestly. Interesting times ahead.

Movie, why so quiet? We miss you!

Caitlin, love your posts, especially your food adventures. That Julie and Julia movie was such fun to watch. I have not been cooking anything spectacular for a long time now since DH and I are eating way more simpler/healthier than before with veggies preferably raw. Had to smile at your romantic dream for you and DH, Yes, bc really does a number on that part of our lives. It is so hard to feel sexy/pretty after what our bodies have been put through, isn't it? Mangled or no boobs, estrogen depleted . . . but we can always have hope, right? LOL.

Edi and Jenifer, will honestly try to get some photos on here with the help of my other DS. He has a good digital camera, and is really computer savvy. I am pretty useless, unfortunately. Real Xmas tree always such a treat, but yes, the needles is a pain.

Websister, have been reading your blog. I was so deeply moved by your beautiful description of how you sat with your mom, holding her hand till she was gone, and then gently and consciously relinguishing her to God. I've not read anything in a long time that touched me quite like that . . . tearing up just thinking of that picture. Also read a piece on Joy in your blog that I will copy, and give to my kids on their wedding day. It is too priceless.

Adagio, back from Mexico yet?

Have to go. DH is dragging me off on a quick early morning walk. It is so cold . . . LOL. Laters!

quick check-in for me

Morwenna - so good to read that your first day back went well, in spite of the computer headache, and that all is working out re: RTW plan

Liefie - I am thinking of you and DH as you travel, hope there are no gallbladder issues to diminish your joy in DS's wedding; can't wait for the pictures. Thanks for the lovely words re: my blog, it's my therapy for myself

Edi - looking forward to pictures of GD's birthday sleepover, hope you do go for the counselling, even if you can't change DH, maybe there are things that you can do for you that you will learn.

Nihahi - hope that your lunch went better than anticipated and that you enjoyed your furniture expedition with DD

Benny - I was very amused by the chicken antics; hope the carpet survives them; loved the word picture you painted of Benny and chicken standing together to greet you when you arrived home. When Edi mentioned the senior moment re: what neighbours might think if they saw chicken in your window it reminded me of Mrs. Kravitz on the old Bewitched series . Hope the dinner with mechanic is booked?

Traii- field trip to farm with DS sounds wonderful

Dakota - muah!

Adagio - silent retreat sounds very interesting

Caitlin - your roast chicken sounds delicious - I may have to investigate turkey basters

Momof2 - too bad re: Christmas tree. We have a smaller artificial tree that has it's own lights, it was a lifesaver last year as takes no time to set up and decorate; was at Costco today though and they had fresh evergreen wreaths and nothing beats the smell of real

I worked this a.m., then went to Michael's craft store for a few more supplies and items for goodie bags for all the kiddies at church for Christmas celebration, then met DH at Costco. The fatigue hit me at Costco, can't wait for that to be a thing of the past. I see the Dr. again tomorrow to see how fatigue issue is going - nowhere is going to have to be the answer for now. I get to see GD tomorrow after the appt, looking forward to that

Love you all, take care

love it Edi!

Morning girls,

A very busy day ahead tying up all the loose ends here today, but I started packing last night, and will finish tonight. Made me a list of 'to do's', and a list of what to take with, so I'm feeling on top of it. These days I just can't trust myself to remember anything, so lists are my new best friend.

Will say a proper good bye later. Have good days everyone!

Jenifer,

My sister in law in the UK, was told by her oncologist to "get back to work as soon as possible!". She had some recovery time from her surgeries, but worked all but a few days each cycle through her chemo, and worked daily while on rads, (even though she had about an hour's drive each way).

I asked my med onc for advice re work, and she said if it were her, she would take the entire duration off, plus recovery time, so probably a year from starting chemo last January! She promptly gave me a letter to that effect, and has completed medical forms on my behalf, at no cost to myself.

I was rather surprised, and hurt, when my s.i.l. questioned me, in quite a challenging manner, about why I wasn't at work, when I went back to the UK for a visit, just having completing rads!

However, I do think I am in a far better place, physically, and maybe emotionally, than she is, and as my brother drove me back to the airport, he admitted that he was worried for her, being so exhausted! One has to say "Why??". It's not as if she needs the money, but he reckoned it was her way of dealing with it, to try to keep life as "normal" as possible.

I am so grateful that I had lots of sick leave "owing", and afterwards, disability pay kicked in at 66%, so although things have been a little tighter, we really have not had to worry, and I have been able to get out to exercise and rehab without any work or financial restrictions! Any medical expenses that Alberta Health did not cover, I have been able to claim back from my health spending account from my work.

I am also REALLY grateful for the advice, support and advocacy, provided free of charge, from the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation in Calgary.

So much to be grateful for!

Love this LOL.

liefie - have a safe and wonderful trip to Stellenbosch. It should have warmed up quite a bit by now. Hope the wedding goes smoothly and that you have a fabulous time. Relax and enjoy - you deserve it!!

Edi - sounds like you are a natural chorister - conductors love it when we are out of our music!! Hope then specs get fixed soon.

Mom of 2 - glad to hear that things at moving along - will be in your pocket tomorrow for your MO visit.

Websister - sorry to hear about the fatigue - let us know what your doc has to say about it. Rest when you need to - you have been through a lot!

To everyone else - hope your week is going well.

momof2 - in your pockets for your MO visit tomorrow, hope it's good news for you

Edi - you'll have to let us know how the movie was, it's been a very long time since I've gone to see a movie in a theatre. Love the pictures you've been posting

Dakota - my four boys all play/ed defense, a great position that takes a lot of skill and doesn't get as much recognition as it should. Glad you will only have one sport for a month or so

Liefie - have a wonderful trip, check in if you can. Very excited for you

Nihahi - I got caught in a near whiteout while driving today, thinking that Benny may have been out in it also, not fun. It would be nice if it was just Costco, I'd probably save a lot of money if I had to stay away from there . The fatigue seems to hit anytime/anywhere - when it does I also seem to have more trouble with the chemo brain and forgetting words/names - not good with my job where I am leading meetings and needing to be on top of my game. Oh well.

Adagio - my doctor is keeping me back at half day shifts for a while, hopefully that will do the trick. Next two weeks I will do 4 half days with Wednesdays off, then reassess on December 12th; she was non-committal when I suggested I might be ready for full time by the New Year.

I did get a nice hug from Benny when I was there, she had an appointment also. After that, I got a few cuddles in with my granddaughter.

Morwenna - I also am so grateful for our healthcare system, insurance benefits and BCSCF

Take care everyone

hey ladies....still dark and early here.

Just wanted to pop on and say "safe, and happy travels" to liefie. Not sure when you depart today....but I know that you and your family have some wonderful times ahead. ENJOY, MY FRIEND.....We'll all be sending happy thoughts and missing your posts.

Lunch with wonderful friend and "meh" friend went fine. Superficial, but fine. The connection with the one gal just isn't there anymore. It was like spending time with a casual acquaintance. I think I am past the "anger and hurt"....it is just one of those relationships that likely was more "air" than substance.

edi....I won't give away the plot, but I've seen the movie "the Butler". Extremely well acted.....for some reason, not the storyline I expected. I'll be interested to hear your review of it.

websister....whiteouts are NOT fun. Glad you're home safe and sound. Haven't heard from benny but good to hear you had a "hug" moment!

jenifer....thinking of you today. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{X}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Liefie....is there still time to stuff me in one of your bags Have the time of you life, my dear, you deserve only the best.

Well, the news is here...Oncotype=42 and I am now a member of the triple negative club. Damn how can I manage 2 completely different tumors...I am not feeling the love from this BC. So I have selected CTx4 over the ACx4 plus Tx4...We all know it is a crap shoot anyway, so I do not want a port, and I do not want to be diagnosed with leukemia or heart problems from the "red devil". Let me know if you thing I made a educated choice. Guess I will start sometime next week after everyone stuffs their faces with turkey. Sorry not into the Thanksgiving holiday, read too much history.

so someone go have a great day...I am going to bed..wish I had an chocolate eclair to eat

Love,

Jenifer

liefie- have a safe and wonderful trip !!!

Momof- sorry to hear your news my oncotype got me chemo. I had the 4 AC and 4 T. I never felt terrible and was able to work full time during my 16 weeks of treatment. I did not have a port. For me it wasn't bad. Chin up girlfriend we will help u thru it all !!

Muah

Momof2 - so sorry you have to go the chemo route - triple negative is a beast and the worst part is not even the experts know how to treat it, so you are so right in saying that it is a crap shoot. Good luck with your decision - I was not given a choice as to what chemo drugs I got! Like Dakota said it is tough, but with all the help from people here on this forum, you will get through it one treatment at a time. Life is just not fair!!