October 2013 Chemotherapy

Hi All

I started my first round of chemo on 10/7 and tomorrow will be my second. ( 4 rounds of A/C every two weeks and then 12 rounds of taxol weekly doses)

My medical team and I decided to do chemo first and then mastectomy. I have IDC stage 2b no node involvement. They feel I would benefit from chemo first for two reasons: the tumor although only 1cm [ but compared to my itty bitty titty it's pretty big ] the surgeon wants to shrink it significantly so as to save as much possible breast tissue. Also, my cancer is aggressive, chemo will show us how the meds work on the tumor, we have a pretty good idea that's it's doing its job. As crazy as this sounds... I noticed the lump felt smaller by Thursday (3 days out from 1st chemo), and when I went for follow up on 10/14 my oncologist agreed that it was significantly smaller! So it's working!

I had some hair falling out last night... yup .. I thought I was prepared mentally for it... but nope... I wasn't. Today my cousin (hairstylist) made a house call and gave me a boy cut.. (kinda cute if I say so ) At least I know when it starts growing back at one point I can rock a boy cut!! I am sure I will lose the rest of my 1/4 inch of hair within the next couple of days.. and I make no promise I won't ball my eyes out..

My cousins words : " Cry if you need to it's ok to cry! but remember it's only hair, and it WILL come back, see it as a sign that YOU are getting better and kicking this cancer to the curb" Gotta love my family !

Ladies... enjoy your night! Hugs to all!

Goodluck Malakies on your 2nd treatment... I start mine on Oct 23. I wonder why mine is every 3 weeks and yours is every 2 weeks.... Maybe because you are having it before chemo and mine is after. That might be the difference. They did not offer it to me before. I will have to ask my MO when I see him on Tues..

malakies - the unfortunate thing about neoadjuvent chemo is that it makes staging difficult because there is change to the tumor (at least we hope there is, right!!) prior to extracting it - the formulation of staging criteria is based on pathology done on a removed tumor, with sentinel node biopsy at the time of surgery, prior to chemo, so staging becomes a bit nebulous for those who have chemo prior to surgery. Staging ends up having to be based, to a large degree, on imaging. Neoadjuvent chemo does sound like a good choice if your breast to tumor ratio is not optimal, and you are looking for a lumpectomy surgical option. I am also wondering why Oncotype Dx was done if you are ER-? It is only applicable if you are ER+ as the resulting score assumes that you will be treated with hormonal therapy. Genomic will only provide confirmation of your ER- status but will not provide a recurrence score.

Just stopping in before bed to share a funny from tonight. I just spent 25 minutes trying to open my liquid antacid as it seems to creep up before bed. I opened the bottle but realized I did not shake it first. I could not get the dam bottle open again. Finally resorted to the wine bottle opener... WAA LA! I now have instant access via a new "port" on the side of the bottle.

malakies - Hopefully the Oncotype will provide definitive Her2 information for you. The nice thing about neoadjuvent chemo is that is does offer the opportunity to see if chemo is indeed working. Doing adjuvant chemo is an act of faith - there is no proof that it is having any effect - so it is reassuring to see progress when doing chemo before surgery. Wishing you the best!

I feel the same terror and anxiety I think everyone in this situation feels but I also have moments of complete peace. I allow myself to step out of the scary story (sometimes that is where alot of the fear comes from - the story I create in my head ..... pain, embarrassment, death...etc.) First of all I don't know if all of the things I imagine are going to happen, secondly even if they do maybe I will handle them better than I think (this is already happened after chemo 1) and lastly I have to admit to myself that there are huge chunks of time in the day that have absolutely nothing to do with cancer, so if I appreciate these moments I can take a break from the cancer story. So much of our pain is created by our thinking, so it's important, SO important, to find ways to quiet the mind. Explore audiobooks by Pema Chodron (When Things Fall Apart) or John Kabat-Zinn. If you do the work you will feel some relief, I promise. I believe the definition of suffering that says it is "wishing things were different than they are". I pray everyday for acceptance, it brings me glimmers of calmness and allows me to move forward with courage. The more I practice mindfulness and acceptance the better I get at it. Even if you can stop right now and step out of your thinking...look out the window, feel your body on the chair, here the sounds that your house makes, take a full breath into your lungs, feel your heart beating, stretch, do whatever it takes to step outside of your thoughts for awhile. Then do it again later, and again, and again, and again. You can create moments of peace for yourself, no matter what life throws at you.

At Pam, where did your friend get the Buff? I'm looking for options.

Malakies, I'm also doing neoadjunct chemo and won't have my surgery until after I finish all chemo treatments. I think it helps to know that it is working, if not then they have the option to try other chemo protocols.

Special K you seem to be very knowledgeable about all this, I'm a RN but work at a infertility center so I'm not very up to date with all of this. We have seen a few patients who are interested in freezing their eggs prior to chemo.

As I sit here, I can tell you being with family and friends definitely help coping with all of this. I try to work as much as I can because I can't sit at home and think of this beast.

Buffs are great especially because they are seamless - great for sleeping because they don't leave a dent in your scalp. My DD is a tournament angler here in FL and has a lot of exposure locally, she came in contact with this company and likes their product. It is a buff competitor, but the fabric is lighter. They are also less expensive - here is a link:

http://www.hoorag.com/womens-bandanas/

gram - I spent a lot of time learning about breast cancer, of all kinds, after I was diagnosed. I have also lost both my father and brother to stage IV cancer - lung and bile duct - so I also learned there. I worked in Transfusion Services in the same hospital I had my BMX in and we treated many cancer patients, and my in-laws are all doctors and nurses. I have learned a great deal from the very knowledgeable people on BCO and I read clinical trial results and other publications pretty regularly. I have walked a few friends through the BC experience who were diagnosed after me, and I have lost far too many friends to this disease. I have also participated in two clinical trials myself, one is currently ongoing which is a Her2+ vaccine trial in Washington, D.C. Interesting, Kathy04 mentioned above Kabat-Zinn - one of the studies I did was a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction study, which was a quantified measurement of meditation and stress hormones, and quite a bit of the teaching was based on his book "Full Catastrophe Living". This study was aimed at people coming out of active treatment (finished surgery/chemo/rads) and was a way to determine if guided meditation could reduce cortisol. The time of exit from active treatment is often very anxiety producing for some - almost as much as being newly diagnosed, because of the feeling of not being watched as closely. The University of S. Florida School of Nursing and Moffitt Cancer Center administrated this study and I found it immensely valuable. I didn't personally feel particularly stressed but learning the meditation techniques helped me as I was looking at several more surgeries for reconstruction, so managing concern about that was invaluable. I found it also helped me to understand "living in the moment" and our inability to change the past or control the future - all we have is right now.

For the record - my BIL is a gastroenterologist and really recommends Miralax!

Thank you Pam for the well wishes. That makes sense about dose dense. There is so much to learn about this.

I am leaving shortly for my orientation and then my MO appointment.

SpecialK you are so knowledgeable.....

relocatedtarheel - Yes, we do have very similar issues.  We are both Triple Negative.  Looks like we both had our initial surgeries within days of each other, and have had our chemo delayed.  And...if I remember correctly...are we both starting our chemo on 10/24?

gramof2boys I've had days where I'm totally overwhelmed, so I understand that feeling. I got my port today and I'm feeling pretty down tonight. The port and my neck are so sore I'm afraid I won't feel up to getting everything done that needs to be before I have my first treatment on Friday. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Lisa-ibstart Thursdaybtoo and I'm getting really nervous...trying to get my medium rare beef fix since it will be off limits for awhile!

Gram-we all have bad days, don't be hard on yourself

Gramof- I share the same sentiment! My 5 th injection of Neupogen today it took every once of my energy. I feel so sored , I can't barely walk , never mind making dinner or going for a walk. Looking forward to a better day!!

Hang in there Gram! We have all had one (or more) of those days. Pam is right -- we are entitled! Maybe try taking a break from cancer -- even for an hour -- lose yourself in a good book, go for a rambling walk, listen to music you love, take a soak in the tub.... Whatever helps to take you to a happy place. And know that we are here for you!

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