Struggling emotionally for a check up

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Karina121293
Karina121293 Member Posts: 370
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Why do I struggle to go to my regular follow up? The center I got treatment is the best in my country and the doctors are just fantastic. My onco is one of them. Our system is so straightforward. You don't need an appointment. Just go there, see your doc, get the follow up reference, go through the ultrasound, chest x-ray, blood work and anything else you want and get the results there and then. No insurance and affordable prices. Seems ideal, doesn't it? So why I don't want to go there this time. Last time, about four months ago everything was fine, so can I skip this one? Really don't know what I am looking for posting this, but maybe someone will tell me it's ok to skip a follow up? I am so absorbed in life with no cancer that struggle to spend even one day in cancer world!!! Does it make sense? Anyone else felt like this and how did you overcome the fear going for a check up? Thanks for listening to my moaning.

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  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 690
    edited October 2013

    Hi Karina - of course going is entirely up to you; I would encourage you to go because why wait?  I have a scan and checkup this week and I'd rather not go either but I want to stay informed.

    Also, I sent you a pm :)

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited October 2013


    I always dread going for my follow up visits but I go......My onc had me on 3 month visits till 5 years and now I'm on 6 months...I stress about it, but my onc is the only doc that I con't to see....he does not do any scans, but does blood work, a physical and history....I can forget about having had BC all year long except at times of check up....but I will always go just for "peace of mind" as weird as that sounds since I stress about the visit!!!


    Listen to your heart and do what is right for you..

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  • Karina121293
    Karina121293 Member Posts: 370
    edited October 2013

    Karen thanks for sharing your experience and thank you peacestrength, too. It is a complex feeling and last night I was trying to persuade myself to go and had such a heart rate, that could not sleep all night. I think I will give it some time and then in one split second I know I may be ready to go. I so appreciate this forum, where I can share things, no one is even aware of in my real life...Thank you.

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  • Rachel1
    Rachel1 Member Posts: 363
    edited October 2013


    Hi Karina,


    I'm exactly the same way. I hate going and it doesn't seem to be getting better with time. My therapist says it triggers my post traumatic stress syndrome. I feel very frightened and vulnerable like everything is going to be taken away from me --- again. I'm working so hard to reframe my appts. I am doing this to take care of myself. Won't it be grand to hear the great news I'm expecting; but alas I haven't fully mastered it.


    xoxo Rachel

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  • gentianviolet
    gentianviolet Member Posts: 316
    edited October 2013


    This will sound really stupid, but I manage going to these appointments by wearing the same (although clean) clothes I wore to the first appointment where I finally had good news. Weird, like lucky clothes have anything to do with what the end result of the tests/appointments would be. But so far it has helped.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2013


    I always stress before going for my check up. I guess because I'm half expecting they'll find something else. Also the stress of trying to organized in my mind what questions and fears I want to discuss with him. My onc is very good but is always checking to see if I'm on the Aromasin. I don't want to take it any longer and he will give me a hard time about it and remind me I'm stage III and must take it.

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  • hopefour
    hopefour Member Posts: 459
    edited October 2013


    Karina, I haven't overcome the fear of a check up! I was living life and than in a moment I had cancer. I think its natural to fear that moment revisiting us again and a check up gives that opportunity! I do plan my check ups to be when there are no holidays or special events in my life. The choice is yours, but I try not to let emotions govern over my logic...not always easy!

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited October 2013


    Karina, I wish you didn't have the anxiety about the visits, but I know exactly what you feel. I have it, too. It's been years, but that deep emotional stuff roils up when it's time to revisit that setting and remember why I'm there. Hugs, and support going your way. G.

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  • Octobergirl
    Octobergirl Member Posts: 334
    edited October 2013


    I'm not sure why we or our docs expect breast cancer patients to not be stressed with checkup appts. The most recent data shows that recurrence can happen at anytime...20 yrs. post-diagnosis. It will never be easy to go to checkup appts. And we should/our docs should not expect ourselves to pretend that it gets easier. We need to go to and demand thorough check ups....we need to affirm that we are brave every time we cycle thru meeting a checkup appt, undergo testing and receive test results. That part of breast cancer doesn't get easier.

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