Here's what cheezed me off today

 Life is very mucked up right now. Thyroid picked up as abnormal during yearly scans. Biopsy in July. Re-exam scan scheduled for November. Started with unusual pain 3 weeks ago. Ent ordered f/u ultrasound.

Last week had yearly Head to Toe dermatology exam. A yearly exam is standard in Florida, but vulva and butt aren't standardly examined. She was done and I asked for the vulva to be done. Derm doc found a very suspicious are on the vulva. She kept talking melanoma.

No answers yet. Vulva bx was on thursday. I''ll try and pick the results up monday. Cape canaveral gave me a problem the last time several years ago when I tried to pick up record. They were not complying with the law. So I anticipate a battle. But I have a plan. Which is sitting in the CEO's office until they comply with the law.

The thyroid ultrasound was done friday @ Parrish. I'll pick that up monday morning before I go to Cape Canaveral. Parrish always complies with the law. There will be no problem. The request is made. Picture ID shown and form signed. Pleasantries exchanged. Done.

This is dejavu Jan23 2009. I was dx'd with BC and told I had a brain tumor the same day. Except on Jan 23rd I told my boss of the brain tumor. I was relieved of duty. I never worked after that. So, two tumors and career loss in one day is some kind of record. Bizarre. Hard to believe it true. Honesty is not the best policy. I was very naive.

I can sit. The local injection for the bx is as bad as the tracer injection under the nipple. White knuckles.

Lesson learned(UGH always lessons). I had a ARNP gyn exam in Jan. 6th. I went b/c of pigment changes. She noted the pigment changes, but apparently didn't recognize the significance of the pigment changes. Told me to follow up if I had any problems. No imperative aroused by ARNP, so I didn't worry.The Derm doc. immediately said a biopsy was needed. So, lesson is __Have a vulva and butt exam as part of yearly dermatology head to toe. Seems it's a logical thing now, but was done only by request this time

Rohanna, OMG!! and I don't say that often.  What an effed up question.  Knowing me, I may have lifted my shirt and said, "Yep... their all mine!" (always was a bit of an exhibitionist ;-)).

So....... back to my cheeze... my trigger fingers that have been with me since last November... well guess who gets to have surgery in a couple of weeks?  Yep, me.  What is up with BC and our bodies getting all screwed up afterwards?  Is it the instant menopause, lack of estrogen... who knows.  Before BC I never had anything physical go wrong and now it seems like one thing after another.  I know lots of you understand that one.

Anyway, I told my hand doc that you'd think after BC, surgery, chemo and rads that nothing would scare me.  Well, wrong.  I do hope when all is said and done, I will be back to my old self.  So, here is just a tad more cheeze to wizz on top.  I was working in my yard today and I climbed the ladder to survey what I needed to do and dumbshit me was wearing flip flops.  Can ya guess?  I ended up falling off the wall I was standing on and ended up in my neighbor's backyard.  Speaking of neighbors ;-).

I had to figure out how to get back over to my side so I did the elbow, elbow and then pulled myself up.  I can't believe I still had the strength, but I did.  Well, here's another cheeze to go with my crackers... I BROKE my toe in the fall.  So, now I can wallow in my toe pain while waiting for my hand pain to be taken care of.  Oh the joy.  I am still smiling.  So ladies who wonder if it gets better... I'm guessing if I can still laugh at all this crap, I must be doing better.  Let's hope I stay in one piece for the rest of the weekend :-).

Rockym ... too funny and sorry with the toe.

Cheese plate ... please do not order that on a long flight. On my return flight after getting my 3D Tatts (they are amazing) ... the guy next to me ordered a cheese plate about 30 mins into the flight. Two hours later, someone passed gas. We had Chipotle before flight. Thinking it was my husband ... I didn't say anything and turned the air on higher. He said he didn't want to eat the beans and I made him. 30 mins passed ... more gas. I said REALLY to my husband and he said "WHAT"? THE SMELL! "What smell?"  It was the guy next to me with the empty cheese plate! He got up 3 times to use the WC. It was a 5 hour flight! In the future ... I will sit next to the window and let my husband have the middle seat. Or I will hit your "cancel" button if you order the cheese plate on the tv screen.

And one more ... I finally got a new car. I listed my old minivan on Craigslist. This lady keep asking us questions that we already answered with the listing. After 18 emails in 3 days ... without see the minivan she asked if we can lower the price more. (I guess my pics were great!) I wasn't asking alot ... it was a fair price. We told her someone else is coming by to look at the minivan ... would you like to see it? No answer. I sold it to the guy that came by. He texted us later that evening and said his kids love the minivan. Next day ... email 19  ... ask how much I sold it for? Like it matters!

thanks for the laughs 9911 and rockym...feels so good to laugh. 

 Maybe you could send a reply that says you decided to sell it for less then what she offered because the family was just so damn sweet and really deserved a break... tee hee.

too funny!

Caller ID is a good thing. If I don't know the number, voice mail gets it.

I'm afraid my response would have been Well I keep a do not donate list and you just went on it!

I have to answer all phone calls because of my husband's business . The phone number was blocked. I wish I had been thinking faster and used what a friend of mine did. She told them that she would have to get her bankrupcy lawyer to approve all donations. They usually hung up on her. No it wasn't the Children's Wish Network (that was last month), it was childhood lymphomia and MS.

Went for a walk in the park today with a friend who's just had her first round of chemo. I'm a year out of treament so we were discussing the road ahead of her. Another acquaintance saw us there and joined us.

Clueless: Hi Judy. Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry I wasn't able to help when you had your surgery [a BMX]. My mother died this summer. She had cancer and it was really horrible. 

Judy (giving me a WTF?! eye roll over her shoulder): Uh, okay...

Clueless: Do both of you have your parents? 

Me: I'm really lucky, both of mine are still around and healthy.

Judy: I lost my mom when I was 19.

Clueless (tearing up): Oh, that's so awful! I don't think I could ever have recovered if I lost my mother that young. I don't think my life would ever be the same.

Me (obviously and awkwardly changing the subject): So did you do anything FUN this summer? How are your kids?

Clueless is distracted for a few minutes but then pipes up with: So, what did your mother die of?

Judy: Breast cancer. She was 48. My aunt had it too. Ironically, they tested me and I don't have the gene. Or at least the one they tested for.

Clueless: Well then you're going to be okay! And, you (turning to me), you're all done with this cancer thing!

Me: Um, yeah, I'm healthy and feeling good right now. [and I spent last Friday at the oncologist getting shot up with my investigational drug and making appointments for my annual bone scan, MRI and high-tech mammo. I then have to stop to stretch out the foot cramp caused by my tamoxifen.]

I wanted to scream at her "What the F are you thinking!? Our friend still hasn't been able to look at her chest, has cancer in her lymph nodes and is scared crazy she's going to die and leave her two boys motherless, as she and her cousin were left motherless by breast cancer. I know you're a nice person and you mean well, but THINK a little before you speak!" 

Lulu, the "casual cancer conversation" was a huge issue for me right after my diagnosis.  Well-meaning but clueless people would say ridiculously insensitive stuff.  "What's your prognosis, my aunt died of breast cancer and it was horrible, my neighbor's going through chemo and it's horrible, did they remove your breasts yet, are you sure the cancer's all gone" are all comments I fielded.

I finally developed some polite but "excuse me" phrases and immediately changed the subject or walked away.  I do not have to let others put poison in my brain that will make me sad and scared all day. 

Hi Ladies

I don't post here very often but today something happened and I am quite upset about it.

We have a close relationship with our neighbour but I really don't think they understand this BC thing

The husband seems to think it is no big deal especially since his mother had it many years ago and is fine. So this morning I am sitting in my living room on the first floor enjoying my coffee. I had just got up so there I was no wig, no prosthesis and my chest burnt from just completing rads. My neighbour suddenly appears in my back yard. Then he is knocking at the back door that does not have a blind on it. I am trapped on the sofa with no way to get upstairs without him seeing me. So I call my son to tell him through the door to come to the front. I finally escape up stairs but now i am in tears at the humilation of all of this. I feel great about my appearance when I have all of my "stuff" on but am self conscious when I don't. My DH was so amazing and went outside and explained to the neighbour not to come to the back door again. I am so annoyed that I have to deal with this on top of everything else. I am sure the neighbour just thinks I am bring silly but this is a big deal to me. Anyway, thank you for letting me rant!!!

Shoppygirl, he's a jerk neighbor, BLESS your DH. Sorry you had to experience that sassy.

RO cut&paste

Rocky's a poet?

Sbelll's sorry, sending you beautiful thoughts to fill your brain.

Lulu "clueless" is right. Perhaps sending her a note with what you've just written. AND add this "It may seem heartless for me to send this to you. But you have no understanding of the pain you have caused to two people today. I hope you contemplate the wrongness of your words. My hope is that you never sensely hurt another person again".

1. She may then understand and never do it again, or 2. She will be so insulted that you would write such a thing b/c she is and absolute self centered clueless bitch. If this is the case she will be hurt. If this is true then let it be.

Either way you will be vindicated.

Essa eczema on hands gone wacko, typing very little---hugs glad to see you here. Good for you telling that idiot assistant off. will write when I don't hurt