Husband and wife have cancer at same time
I am wondering if anyone has had cancer at the same time as their spouse or knows of anyone going through this?
The reason I ask is because I was diagnoised with breast cancer in Jan of this year and in March of this year my husband was diagnoised with advanced colon cancer. We are both 42 years old and have two children 10 and 14. I have almost completed my treatments ( just one more week of rads) and he has 5 more chemo's to go. I have never heard of this happening to another couple. We have not told too many people about it as it is so difficult to deal with how shocked and horrified they are. Fortunately we have come through treatment reasonably well and as soon as my DH is done, we just want to move on with our lives. Anyway if anyone has ever heard of this type of situation before I would appreciate hearing about it.
Comments
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I have not heard of it but wanted to send my best wishes for complete recovery for both of you. I cant imagine how hard this must be. Wow. Take care
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I have'nt heard of it either but I am sending you good thoughts for treatment completion for both of you and a speady recovery so you can just get on with life.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Hi shoppygirl,,,,,, If you. Google. Friends. of. Nathan. And. Elisa blogspot, Nathan. Has rectal cancer and Elisa has. Stage. IV. Breast cancer,,they are. 36. &. 38, with a young daughter. Sorry my. iPad is doing strange things.....
Dawn xxx -
shoppygirl, we're so sorry you're going through this... but glad that your treatment is working and your attitude is so positive to move on with your lives soon.
Dawn, great help!
The Mods
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Thank you Ladies
I knew our situation was unfortunatly unique but I was not sure how unique it was.
Dawny, I am very familiar with Nathan and Elisa. As a matter of fact I get updates on Facebook about them. Their child is only 3. So sad.
Wrenn, I see you are from Vancouver. That is where my husband and I are from originally.
Chrissy, thank you for your kind words.
I first came to these boards in May of this year and I am so glad I did. The support I have received has been better than any counsellor could provide.
Thanks again ladies. -
I actually received chemo next to a couple who had simultaneous cancer, chatted with them often - she had ovarian, he had colon. They are older than you and your husband, but they did very well, and I hope you do too!
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My cousin's friend (a former bridesmaid of her's) had Stage 2 breast cancer with a positive node at the same time her husband had cancer (esophageal, I believe). They were in their 30s when diagnosed with small children. This was several years ago. Both are doing well.
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Thanks Colt and Special K.
We feel very positive about things but it is hard sometimes especially when you have kids. -
I never heard of anyone with your situation. I did read on a internet news feed of a special interest story of a Mother dx with breast cancer and her young daughter, I believe she was under the age of 8, being dx with cancer a few months later. She was having guilt because to be alive for her daughter she needed to keep getting tx so it was hard for her to go with her daughter for her tx. Her daughter was going to a pediactric cancer center. Her husband took most of the care of their daughter. Some people just seem to get more on their plates then they need or can handle. I hope all goes well for you and you can get back on living your life.
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Aaoaao
Yes I heard about this lady. I believe her daughter passed away. So sad.
Thank you for your kinds words. I wish you all the best with your treatments. -
While not going through treatment at the same time, both my husband & I have dealt with it this year. He had his kidney removed in January due to ureter cancer (it connects the kidney to the bladder). I had a BMX in June due to a diagnosis of local recurrence. So he was just getting back on his feet, both physically & mentally when I got my diagnosis. He is not handling it well but both of us are cancer free at the moment so we have to look at the positive side! I wish you the best!!
Jenn -
Thank you Jen
I am glad that you and your husband are both cancer free. My husband and I have both had scans recently and are both NED so we are very happy about that. He has 5 more chemo's to go but he is handling them very well. He is still running his business and traveling and I think that helps him feel more "normal" I hope your husband is ok.
Take care. -
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June, my mother was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive form of thyroid cancer in July. In August my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.
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Lori
I hope that you and your parents are able doing ok. It really is a lot when so much happens at once. Hugs. -
Thank you!!!! I am doing great and am waiting for my exchange surgey sometime in November. My dad is scheduled for surgery on Monday. My mom is now doing her chemo and radiation now, I am really having a hard time with the fact that I could lose my mom, they have given very little hope and say prognosis is 12 to 18 months. She has a great a attitude about it all and says she is gonna fight this. I just hate this is all happening at the same time.
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Lori
It must be very difficult to hear the prognosis of your mom but I am sure you know that it is only a guess. The Drs don't really know. They told my DH that he only had a 40% chance of surviving 5 years and now he is NED. I hope everything goes ok with your dads surgery. My sons teacher had lung cancer. They removed 8 tumors in two different surgeries. That was two years ago. I just saw him last week and he is now NED. There is so much hope!! Take care. -
shoppyDgirl-Wishing you and your DH the best of recoveries. I can relate as I take care of my DH since a stroke at age 50, he is now 58 with end stage renal disease. We do home hemodialysis 5 days a week. He can do daily care for himself but requires some help. I am able to work full time but come home and take care of him after 12 hr shifts. I could not believe when I heard those words"you have breast cancer" as I wasn't the one who ever got sick! I got stuck (probably still stuck) in the WHY ME!!! stage. But we made it through the surgeries then 1 week after my bmx/LD flap recon my BIL died, age 61. My DH just couldn't cope, especially since there was no way he could go to the funneral.( I had 6 drains in taking narcotics!) We made plans for my DD to take my MIL to the funneral, when 2 days before they left DD had and ectopic pregnancy! I quit saying WHY ME and said, WHAT NEXT??? It has been a very long and stress filled year. I will be having my 3rd surgery this year September 25th to get the TEs out and implants in. DH has to go to the dialysis center and is already stressed out about it. Sometimes I just don't think he is capable to understand he isn't the only one with health issues now. He is so used to being taken care of...by me. My 4 kids are helping as much as they can for 29, 26, 20 and 14 but even as young adults and teen they depend on us still. I hope all goes well and you and DH respond to treatment. Hope this time passes quickly and you can move on with the future.
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Shoppygirl, it amazes and encourages me that your DH is continuing to work through his treatment. That says so much about his commitment to winning and his strength. It cannot possibly be easy in any way, these treatments. I hope that love and laughter flow freely in your home and give you all peace. I will be keeping your family in my prayerful thoughts.
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Mama
Thank you for your post. You have had quite a year as well. Your poor DH. I hope he is not in too much discomfort. I know what you mean when you said you never get sick. My husband was diagnoised in March but he had been sick since November. He even spent Xmas in the hospital. When I found out I had BC in Jan I fell apart. I had been the one keeping everything together and working full time. It hit me so hard. Anyway I feel like that was so long ago. I hope the rest of the year is better for both of us. Take care
Rhonda. Thank you for posting. With your beautiful spirit and kind words you are one of my favourite people to hear from on this website. BTW it is a good thing my DH is still able to run his business! He has a very expensive wife who loves to shop!!
Well I guess I should get off my phone and clean up the kitchen since no one else is doing it. Goodnight all. -
Hi Shoppygirl, I'm so sorry to hear about you and your husband going through cancer at the same time. I can truly relate. I was diagnosed in May 2011 with stage 3C breast cancer. I went through all my treatment very aggressively. After being cancer free for approx 6 months the cancer returned in my spine and other places. My husband has always been my caretaker and loving supporter. I am stage 4 now and will always have some type of treatment. My husband was diagnosed with stage 2 prostate cancer in July. Next Thursday he will undergo a treatment where the place radioactive "seeds " in his prostate. We hope this will be successful. It is so hard having cancer at the same time. My Father also has throat cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Lots of hugs!!!!
Diana -
Diana
Thank you for your post. I am so sorry that your cancer has progressed. I also hope that things go well for your husband. It is very difficult to watch someone that you love go through all the trials and tribulations of cancer treatment.
Even though this is very difficult for us we still enjoy life as much as possible. There is no point wasting precious time being unhappy.
I hope your treatments work well for you and that you get to NED very soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family as well
Hugs -
First - this thread caught my eye because yes - I have known a couple who had cancer at the same time (different types)... so it may be more common than you can imagine. As well, I have a friend now who lost his wife to cancer, and he's been fighting leukemia (the adult onset kind) for years - doing hard-core chemo right now to try to manage it. So it does happen, unfortunately. I'm really pulling for you guys shoppygirl! Life will resume after his incredibly tough hurdle... thanks for sharing your story!
lori703 -- -I just wanted to touch on the situation with your mother. A few weeks ago, I had a thyroid biopsy done. I requested it (because I was having an abdominal ultrasound done and thought we should tack it on as a preventive measure) - but my dr initially said I didn't need one, since my thyroid levels were normal, and it looked "ok" (although a tad lumpy feeling). She humored me and put it on the request. Ends up my thyroid is loaded with nodules - both lobes, and center area. Thankfully, my biopsy was negative for cancer. But what prompted me to have it tested to begin with is that it is on the rise in women (thyroid cancer) -- and I want to urge everyone here to PLEASE ask your doctor for a thyroid ultrasound! I have 5 friends all battling thyroid cancer right now. Be sure to check your thyroid, too, as often as you do breast exams. Look in the mirror - tilt your head back, and swallow. Look for any lump or bump that pops out where your thyroid is... do a few swallows as you check just to be safe, or have your spouse or friend look at your neck as you do this to see if they see anything.
*I'm currently waiting on biopsy results (newbie)
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My husband had surgery for prostate cancer halfway through my chemotherapy for Stage III disease. The diagnosis was unexpected but we'd already lived through one shock so a second one was pretty easy going (as these things go).
I wasn't very sick so I took care of him (for once that year) whilst he was home recovering. He's been fine ever since. I does get anxious when PSA test rolls around, but so far so good.
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There has been an update since my last post to this thread. Last night my husband was diagnosed with a recurrence so I guess now we are going through it at the same time. I am scheduled for my last TE fill tomorrow & he will have surgery to remove the tumor from his bladder on the 18th. My exchange should be sometime at the end of November.
When is this year going to be over?!?
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Jen, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It is so difficult to deal with so much at once. I am unfamiliar with your husbands type of cancer. Is this a metastatic recurrence or a local one? What is the prognosis on this type of cancer? I pray that he will be ok
I sometimes think, 'what happened'? This time last year I was leading a normal life, worrying about things that seem so silly now but now, like you, my husband and I are dealing with this.
My husband had his 9th chemo today and he is feeling very sick. It is very difficult to see him not feel well. I am worried about a reaccurance for him too as his was at such a late stage. Also, because he is not well, I need to pick up the slack around the house and with the kids in addition to working full time. I am only 9 weeks post chemo and 2 weeks post rads so I am feeling quite tired but I need to push on to keep everything running as smoothly as possible. In addition, I had a ct scan to follow up on a lung nodule (unchanged and most likely benign, that goodness) and they found a thyroid nodule that I have to have a biopsy on!!
Like you, I desperately want this year to be over and hope for a much better 2014.
Big hugs to you!! Thank goodness for these boards!!
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I feel you - big time. My husband had a colon resection 2.5 years ago. I was diagnosed in 2012 and have had 3 surgeries (so far). Next week my husband is having his entire colon removed. I lost my mom in April. And now I just found out that I have a labral tear in my hip - yup - surgery again. So much for the benefits of all that long distance running. It is an incredibly hard thing to have both of us needing ongoing medical treatments and I am worried my 9 year old daughter is starting to think that all adults close to her are sick or are going to get sick. You have to take care of yourself in order to help anyone else so I hope you're doing that. I am trying... -
rhymeblue
Thank you for your post. I am sorry about your husband. I am assuming he had colon cancer?
We are still waiting to hear what my husbands next steps are. When he had his original colon resection the doctor took out his liver to look at it and found a 8mm spot that was cancer. He was going to have a liver resection but he has had 2 ct's an MRI and a contrast ultrasound and there is no sign of any cancer including the spot. This was before the 12 rounds of chemo that he has almost competed. Now we meet with the liver surgeon again at the end of Oct to see if they should open him up and double check what they found. It is very frustrating to not know what is going on but we are just grateful that there is hope. I hope everything goes well for both you and your husband and I am so sorry about the loss of your mother.
I understand what you mean about your daughter as I have the same fears for my kids.
I am thinking of you. Hugs -
my husband has had highly dysplastic sessile polyps of a significant size (2cm growth formed in past year) that he is deemed extremely high risk for colon cancer. His dad died from it - because the polyp that he's dealing with now is embedded in the colon wall it's hard to say what he's got. He certainly has highly abnormal cell clusters that grow too rapidly. I so don't want him to have invasive cancer - I'm scared he might - we can only see what the surgery and biopsies reveal. Please keep in touch and let me know how things go at end Oct for your husband. Thanks for your note, hugs from here. -
rhyme
I am sending positive thoughts your way for your husbands surgery. It sounds like they are really on top of things with him so that is good. Please let me know how everything went and I will do the same. Hugs. -
Rhymeblue
I am wondering how your husband is doing after his surgery?
My husband met with the liver surgeon and they reviewed all his scans and they are all clear. So now they are going to monitor him. He goes for another one in December.
I had to have a biopsy on a thyroid nodule and I just found out today that it is benign! So I guess for now we are doing pretty good and I am very grateful!
Hope you are doing well also.
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