Joining the BC Club...

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I was just diagnosed about a month ago and waiting for surgery (lumpectomy). It is quite shocking and was very overwhelming to me also. No family history,etc. I had some of the same thoughts that you are having about wanting to see children grow up, etc. Then I went to see the surgeon and he really put me more at ease. He said that most cancers can be treated and have high cure rates.



I have found that trying to stay focused on my daily life or things that I need to do keeps me from being a basket case. I am just trying to get through this one minute at a time. Be sure and take time to do something fun for yourself. And seek support when you need to. The people on here are always willing to listen.

So sorry the two of you are finding yourselves here, but welcome. You will be amazed at how strong you are and will become. The first few weeks are the hardest. Find those who want to help and let them. You will find great strength just in watching your children - mine are what have gotten me this far when I thought I was out of steam. Soak up their joy for life and energy. Hugs!

Margie,

So sorry you have to take this on right now.  I was diagnosed last year and, like you, have been extra healthy my whole life.  Excercised, have been a vegetarian for 25 years, never smoked, rarely drank, etc., etc., etc...What has helped me to deal with this has been 1) to stay away from trying to figure out "why me?", and 2) stay off the Internet entirely when it comes to looking up your diagnosis.  A wise woman gave me that advice very early on and I can only say it helped tremendously.  Like you, I had very early stage disease.  I ended up having a double mastectomy after a series of surgeries.  I have no regrets.  While this is unpleasant for you to be dealing with right now, one thing I saw as a huge positive is that someone caught this at such an early stage without a mammogram!  At 34, you wouldn't have been scheduled for your first mammogram for another 6 years, right?  Imagine the scenario if it went uncaught for 6 additional years.  I think you are extremely lucky that they caught it as early as they did.

All I can say is, let yourself have the meltdowns.  Don't try to be above this - few of us will ever face such a devastating diagnosis in our lives.  Let yourself grieve.  Trust me when I tell you that it will lessen and eventually pass with time.  I am only one year out and my black hole has all but disappeared.  Don't get me wrong, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my cancer, but do I think I'm going to die from this?  No.

My daughter was only 3 when I was diagnosed and I remember sitting on the couch at 2 a.m. because I couldn't sleep and thinking about my motherless children.  I think it is entirely normal to assume the worst when you get a diagnosis like this because there is so little information fed to us from the medical community.  For me, it didn't matter if I was diagnosed with DCIS or Stage IV, I had convinced myself that I was going to die from this.  I wish I could get back those miserable early days where I tormented myself with worry.  My head throbbed, I couldn't sleep, I walked around in a daze.  

You will get through this and as much as it sounds counterintuitive to say this, breast cancer does not come without silver linings.  For me, it helped me to put my priorities in perspective.  I quit a job that I hated in an industry that I loathed and decided to start my own business.  It helped me to live in the moment rather than look to the past or wait for the future.  It helped me to be more patient with my children and to make sure I continue to impart life lessons on them.  It helped me to realize that I exist - after 3 children in 5 years, there were times when I felt absolutely invisible.  Now, I prioritize time for me.  I workout 5 days a week, I get massages, and I focus on having less stress and being more happy.  And, most importantly, it has shown me how much I love my husband and how fortunate I am to be going through this life journey with him.  He has been nothing but supportive and comforting throughout all of this.  

I wish you all the best as you go through this.  It WILL get better.  Once all your test results are in and you know what you have and what you don't have, you'll be able to put some perspective on all of this.  

You are not alone, I am 40 had no visible lumps or history of BC in my family. In June, I moved to Hawaii and was going to start a new life with my husband. I decided to do something for myself and had a breast augmentation. The day after my plastic surgery I went in for my follow up appointment & was told I had cancer from my plastic surgeon. I have been in a whirlwind for the past 7 weeks too, going to numerous doctors appointments & to surgeries. You are not alone, my children (age 21 & 17) have been my saving grace and have given me the motivation. What has helped me is staying busy and learning as much as possible about BC. This has helped me gain some type of control of this whirlwind storm I am facing right now.

Hi Ladies, I am so sorry you have to be here but theses threads are full of great women with so much advice and support although be careful because it is easy to get yourself overwhelmed by some of what you read. Be an advocate for yourself, get to know your cancer and how it behaves and remember you are #1 in this fight😄I too was Dx in may of this year with no family history,I have always been very nutrition oriented and took good care of my self. I was Dx on my only grandsons 1st birthday and two days later I had to put my doggie down and I still refer to that as my weekend from HELL, it has been 3 months of ups and downs, I have had BLM with delayed recon, they found 15/15 bad nodes so hence chemo and rads are indicated. Tomorrow I go for my 2nd round of chemo but I have a long road ahead, I should be finishing up with chemo and rads by may do 20014. Know that we are stronger than we think, we can take more than we think we can but let yourself scream, cry, complain and reach out to any positive help that is out there. I would love to follow you ladies and all I can offer is what I have been through and what helped me, as those ahead of me have helped me along my journey.

Mo2372, wow you really got news backwards 😕I had a really bad flair up of shingles after my 1st chemo( I have had them for years) but I ended up in the ER and because I am a BC patient they did a CT and MRI and found some suspicious spots on my lumbar spine which did not show up on my PET 3 weeks prior, but MO says they are small and the chemo should get them but we will recheck after chemo. Never a dull moment with cancer, but we are here and very supportive for each other please keep us posted and big hug's to all.



Shary🌞

Msphil - wow, what a wonderful story you shared.  I remember when I was diagnosed last year, I felt like I'd been handed a death sentence and it didn't matter how hard I tried or how much research I did, I had already convinced myself I was going to die from this disease.  After I crawled part way out of my black hole, I realized that what I needed most of all was to hear stories like msphil's of women who were several years out and who were alive!  

I belong to a support group of younger women in the Bay Area and I've initiated a series called 'Profiles in Bravery' where I profile a survivor every month.  We share daily routines, herbal supplements, etc...with hope that some day this will be helpful to someone.  We published our first edition last month and the feedback was so positive.  It's just another reminder, like msphil's, that we CAN survive this disease.  

Margie, just keep telling yourself that - that you can survive this and most likely will survive this.  Your cancer was caught early and if you look at all the statistics, oncotype/mammaprint aside, the most accurate predictor of survival is the stage.

Margie, hi from Vancouver Island! You got such good advice from all the people here - they are truly amazing, as I found out over the last 18 months or so. It will take time out of your life to deal with this, and it is best to  resign yourself to this, take charge of the situation, gear up for the fight, and give it your all. You are the most important player on your team - that's what I told myself - and your attitude is so important. There will be some dark days ahead, and times when you will feel scared, sick, or weary, but this is a temporary stumbling block. This too shall pass - that was my mantra which got me through chemo, and then through rads. Life to me is beautiful again now, even more so because I now know that I will not be here for ever. I should make the most of every day that I am given, and live and enjoy the moment. Best wishes, and BIG HUGS to you!