Unexpected silver linings and breast cancer

wow - great story - im sure it was there for a reason  

I'm learning to make my own silver linings. I had a horrible experience last week with a new PT office. That was my second appt, the first being an eval and being put on a TENS machine (which wasn't pleasant for me). At the first appt, I specified clearly that I only wanted to be seen by females (this place is mainly for sports injuries and staffed by a lot of men). I don't think that's being picky or unreasonable but I don't feel comfortable explaining, let alone allowing myself to be touched by a man who isn't medically qualified (yes, I know they're certified, but for me, there's a big difference). This time, the appt was scheduled with a female again but the owner of the company, a man, saw me. Tried to explain politely of my preference, but he preceded to lecture me how qualifed he is (but that's not the point). Worst part was when he wanted to "see my scars", I declined as he said it was written I needed shoulder work and he didn't provide a gown for me to change into! What did he expect, me to lift my top and flash my chest? I don't think so! The rest of the 10 minutes (it was a 30-minute session but he was 20 minutes late so he cut the session short) he basically spent lecturing me how I didn't really about my medical condition (such as why I thought I have lympedema - duh, I've had it on the delayed side for 16 years, and my previous PT did measurements and said I also have it on my new mx side). I refused to pay because he didn't provide me any therapy, exercise, or treatment and really, for a fraction of my assigned time?

BUT, this made me realize how wonderfully and compassionately my PS and her staff have been treating me. I brought in an orchid plant to the office yesterday as well as a card with a letter detailing how much I appreciated all the kindness, compassion and respect I've been receiving from them all since I began going there in October. Even included some shout-outs of expressions of specific kindness shown me.  My PS was speechless for a bit, even had tears in her eyes, said no one had ever done that before (I had a copy in the card and gave her a separate copy). She laughed at some of the funny things I had written (like how one of her nurses always makes me laugh no matter how I'm feeling). I'm sure I made the office happy yesterday and in turn, that made me feel really good.  

This was also the same PS I gave a "thank you" card to when she was prepping me for exchange surgery. A little kindness on my part goes a very long way.......

Hi all! Guess this thread needed a bump.

Whole lot going on for me since last post (6 or so weeks ago?). Another silver lining I have found has been the timing of this cancer dx. Since last post, have had another surgery (revision to implants), seemed minor but turns out anything but. Being home has allowed me to orchestrate (with help from a brother) my parents' move next week from 250 miles away to a lot more local for me (around 30-35 miles). Have already made 3 trips to their home this year to help them weed through 40+ years of my mom's clothes, clean closets, rooms and stuff amassed in this house for 20 years. It's amazing what technology allows now since my last move in 1998. My parents have not actually seen the exact home in person they're moving into (they did see one which a very similar floor plan, also in the renovation progcess) so I have gone and taken many photos and videos both pre- and post-renovation (and it's a major renovation too). 

Would I have wanted cancer AGAIN? NO!!!! But by far, the best thing that has come out of this most recent journey is the wonderful people I've met along the way! Thanks, in part, to BCO!

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I really wanted to write about it in a safe place where I think it would be understood.  It has only been a short time since I was dx with bc and don't get me wrong I was devastated when I found out, but I am also more aware of my blessings than ever before.  I remember before bc I used to have to give thought to my blessings so as I could thank the Lord.  Now these past few weeks I have received so many blessings and felt so deeply grateful for them. 

My boyfriend has really stepped up to the plate...even one of the nurses asked me when I came out of surgery who he was and she told me he really cares about you, which he is pretty stoic with his feelings and it surprised me.

My Mom and I have always been close but I live 200 miles away so on Mother's Day I told her let's keep intouch everyday even if it is to just say hi in an email and we stuck to it way before I found out I had breast cancer,  At the time I was doing it for her because I thought she might be lonely...little did I know how much I would need her in a few months and our bond has become so much closer.

I have very good health insurance and 4 months worth of short term disability.  Which the timing of my chemo ends just about the time of the new year and it will roll over again...if this would of hit in Jan. I would be really hurting.

My brother and my SIL have become closer....before bc we hardly ever talked except Holidays.  My SIL has been stellar and we chat several times a week on fb and my Brother and I have a two long talks.  One time I was having a very hard time (sobbing) because I received a coaching at work (because of performance do to lack of focus because of newly DX) and the second I logged onto my PC he chimmed in to chat.

I quit smoking after 30 years....never thought I could and I am going on 9 days smoke free & hardly even have a desire now.  Praise God!

Many of these things are thing I prayed about for a long time and I it is so weird that at this time God has chosen to answer my prayers.   Thanks for giving me a place to express my gratefulness.  I pray for everyone going through this journey to see their silver linings.  God Bless...M

sure as hell made me a better nurse. nothing like being able to tell another pt about to start chemo, etc-yeah I did that, I survived and so can you. when I got done with treatment. I fell apart. I put in resignation. didn't think I could be a nurse anymore. I couldn't quit. my nurse manager never turned in my resignation. Now I am back , stronger and tougher. nothing like been there done that

Fran, I agree with lovewins, you are such a wonderful example to other patients since you've traveled this road before. Nothing beats experience, strength and hope for other people.

2nd timearound I think making that decision to move your parents was a wonderful one and they will be blessed to have you closer to them and visa versa. I moved across country one year ago to be closer to my son and grandkids ( I knew the chances fo them moving my way was not going to happen in the near future) Well a month ago I was diagnosed w/return and am going thry daily Rads right now. Thanks heaven I moved when I did. I had no idea that after 6 clean years this would happen.

So sorry to hear GrammyR. See, you made the best choice, too and so grateful the timing of yours allowed it to happen that you got settled and had some time before you'll be involved in recovery. Wishing you all the best! So glad your loved ones are close!

FrednTan - so happy to read of your nursing story.No doubt your manager recognised really good work and on top of that had a heart. I worked with a big health insurance company and had a coveted M-F job.My manager also was super and even moved my cubicle for more privacy as I wore a scarf to hide my chemo head. I took as much time off as I needed and could leave early anytime .My coworkers brought in more pretty scarves for me all the time too.



2nd time around- I bought my new home sight unseen as my son and daughter in law took video and many pics for me. I had seen the neighbourhood before and they knew my primary wants.I was pleasantly surprised to find sky lights in my family room. I have been slowly upgrading this 1980s decor. Have had to put a hold on it until I get done w,/Rads now but it does give me a lot to look fowrd to hopefully later this year. I am an avid gardener too and have enjoyed seeing so many perennials

blooming this year.

I'm sorry I'm so grouchy this morning. I need to rant. The breast cancer awareness stuff upsets me lately it's not raw enough. It's leaves out the truth of the earth and destruction caused by cancer. We need a cure!!!! Thanks for listening.

Silver lining is there. I've developed a greater ability to love and be loved

I am not married and am an East Coaster in the midwest. When I got my diagnosis, I was thinking "wow, you have to do this alone. Your family and friends are just too far away." WRONG! I have the most wonderful friends here and I found so many BC sisters were there to help me, acquaintances I didn't even know had BC . My cancer team was amazing, caring, kind and are now friends.

I lost some friends, sure, but they weren't good friends now that I look back. My issues scared them I guess. So now I'm left with two amazing teachings--believe that others love you and will help you, and trust in yourself. I did a-ok on my own, and when I needed people, they were there.

Jamie-

More sleep is always a good thing! We love to hear how our members have found little positives among the negatives. Thank you for sharing!

The Mods