My world has just crumbled..

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NoBitsorBobs
NoBitsorBobs Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis

I came here several years ago and found lots of good advice and wonderful support. It helped me deal with my 1st diagnosis of ADHD and treatment and then again later when I had a diagnosis of IDC stage 1 no nodes involved. I did some chemo as I have a high number of relatives with both breast and ovarian cancer. I oped not to have reconstruction when I had a double mastectomy, I healed well and moved on with my life. Or so I thought



For the last 14 months I have had some strange aches and pains that would come and go in my right hip and also on my left rib and left collar bone. About a month ago the pain became very intense at night and was stopping me sleeping so I thought I would mention it to my PCP when I went for my annual physical last week. She immediately send me for an x-ray and blood tests. X-ray came back clear, but my bloods we elevated. She contacted my Oncologist and she booked me in for a PET scan, that was done yesterday. So I gets a phone call at 8:30am asking me to come to my Oncologist office as soon as I can, she needs to see me today.



By this time I am now totally freeking out. I had to get my husband to come home from work, he was just about there when I called him and said we had to go to the clinic NOW! We gets to the clinic and my Onc is waiting for us? She takes in in to the comfort room an tells me that I have Mets. Stage IV.. How can this be? I was only stage 1 and that was years ago. She starts talking about treatment options and further tests maybe Radiation. All the while I am just sat there numb to the bone. She gave me a prescription for pain meds and some sleeping pills and some pages she had printed out and said we would talk more next week!



What am I going to do I don't want to die, I am 50 years old and it's too soon.



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Comments

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited August 2013

    Hi Nobitsorbobs and welcome. Sorry you need to be here again. Hearing that you are stage IV is one of the hardest things as immediately we think of dying. Take a few big deep breaths and let them out slowly............your onc probably gave you the two year talk as they all seem to do but take it from me, who is now five years up and doing very well, those statistics are old hat. It is possible with the amount of new meds available to us to live a long, near normal life.



    I know it is going to take you some time to digest everything that has happened but please come here often for information and support as there is a plethora of women living well with stage IV who are willing to hold your hand on this scary journey.
    Oh yes, come on over to the stage IV threads, I know you will find a wealth of information there.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

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  • Moiralf
    Moiralf Member Posts: 1,056
    edited August 2013

    The news when you find out about mets is devastating and there is no way to sugar coat it. Life changes in ways that you never imagined. It takes time to adjust. Be kind to yourself and try not to think too far ahead.

    BUT, it is not an immediate death sentence. I'm hoping your onc told you a little more about the mets. Where are they, how many?

    I was dx with Bone mets in Nov 2007. So coming up 6 years and if you didn't know you would never be able to tell. I work and aqua jog and do everything I use to do. There are changes and things are diferent but I am determined to live as normal as possible and not let cancer steal my today. I'm facing new challenges with things but I know I have many more treatment options. Still scary but I am letting myself wobble a bit and with help from the women here I am getting my head around the changes.

     If she is suggesting rads,that will help with the pain and kill the cancer as well.

    You need a lot more info but there are many women here who are living long and productive lives with stage 4. As Chrissy says come over to the stage 4 thread and there will be lots of help and support.

    Cancer is a tricky beast and for no reason that can be explained it can reoccur. Just one of life's weird and crazy twists.

    I was 45 when I was dx and thought I wouldn't see 50 but here I am, had my 50th celebrations in Jan.

    Deep breaths and take one day at a time. Be kind to yourself and arm yourself with knowledge.

    Moira

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2013

    Welcome back, NoBitsorBobs, although we're sorry that your news has brought you to BCO again. As Chrissy and Moira have said, you'll find first-hand experiences, practical advice and constant support here, and especially in the Stage IV forum.

    • The Mods

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  • NoBitsorBobs
    NoBitsorBobs Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2013

    Thank you all for the warm welcome back. I did not have a very good night last night, even with the sleeping pill. My mind was in overdrive. I have gone over everything that has happened since the first calcification were found on my mamo right up to yesterday and this news that has rocked me to my core. I will head over to the stage IV forum and have a look around, that is scary in its self, I never in my dreams thought I would be there.



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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited August 2013

    Nobitsorbobs right now as you say your mind is in overdrive and that is really quite normal but be assured that given a little time things will calm down and you will be able to approach this next leg of your journey with a whole lot more strength than you realise you have.



    Yes the stage IV forums can be a bit scary but we are a strong community in all stages of this disease within the stage IV banner. The ladies there are truly wonderful and very inspirational.



    Hoping you will start to feel a little calmer soon.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

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  • TarheelMichelle
    TarheelMichelle Member Posts: 871
    edited August 2013

    I'm adding my hugs and best wishes, too. I know hearing the news is just dreadful. But it does get easier as you find out about treatment options and see there is hope. It's hard to stay calm in those first few days. I sometimes have had to talk to myself, gently but sternly, reminding myself that I am ALIVE TODAY. Don't let a moment of wonder or joy pass you by because you are fretting about tomorrow. You have today to love and live. No one wants to be Stage IV. But we ladies are a group that gains strength in membership numbers. The more Stage IVs that are alive and doing well and sharing in these discussions, the better!

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited August 2013

    Nobitsorbobs - sorry you are having to deal with mets. It is definitely a scary place to be and no doubt your mind is racing. As the others have said, take a couple of deep breaths, stay off the internet, make a list of questions that you have for when you see your onc next week (sometimes a biopsy is done to confirm pathology of mets is still the same) and take one day at a time.

    The stage iv thread is filled with wonderful women/men who are supportive, encouraging and will be able to answer just about any question (and no question is dumb) that you might have.

    Hang in there - ((hugs))

    Keep us posted on how you are making out.

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  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 3,798
    edited August 2013

    Reading your post reminded me how I felt three and a half years ago, when I was diagnosed at Stage IV. I know how horribly shocking it is, but I promise you it gets easier once a plan is in place!!! I was diagnosed at 45, never had been sick or in the hospital... it was just a horrible nightmare. And I also understand being freaked out by the Stage IV forum! It took me almost a whole year to post there! But you will not find a more wonderful group of people... they inspire me to push forward! Wishing you all the best...



    Rose.

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