Fuzzy's Romp Room

hi all

have any of you heard from fuzzylemon?  i corresponded with her a few times...i see she hasnt been on since march.  Did i miss something?

To the US girls

I actually did the same thing yesterday and the day before. First I was aching all over. Well, that I could explain away as perhaps I was feverish. Yesterday it was my stomach. I started thinking colon cancer. I know a 20 year survivor who seems to have put it completely behind her. Who knows? Maybe we will get there.

Hope you are feeling better now veggy.

You'll be feeling much better tomorrow.

I had half of my thyroid out in 2010. They found nodules on it and came back inconclusive. The final result... Not cancerous. Now I have a scar and no good story. It didn't save my life. Rotten doctors. Still got stuck with the bill.



Today I ate lunch and feel okay. I think my son might be coming down with it.

I don't know anything about Faslodex. Sorry.

LOVE THAT BEAR HUG, hmmmmmmm, so soft and warm.  THANK YOU !!!

Dune, Lily, Veggie & Foley, all ya'll got the midsummer CANCER SUX blues.  I could write a whole song on it, sent one to B.B. King one time (he didn't use it as far as I know) that was called, "I got the hot outside blues."  Ummmmm, heat does this, you know.  MORE WATER.

LOVESSSA, same thing, more water, but it actually sounds more like a bad cold, maybe flu, possible touch of pneumonia.  If you get to feeling dizzy at any point, that's an air thing and pneumonia, so off to the doc you go and get LOTS of meds and rest, you'll be slammed back for a few weeks.  BUT also, yes, it sounds like side effects of your new meds.  As far as I'm concerned the best anti-hormone stuff is the "SERMS" and there are three listed on this website to choose from under "Treatment."  The thing that's so great about them is instead of taking ALL the estrogen out of your body, they only sit in the receptive cells in the breast where cancer might latch on and the SERMS throw them out the window.  This is a HUGE advantage, because these pills to stop hormones are SO MEAN.  They take away ALL our estrogen, and that turns us into lifeless, helpless, angry, severely and clinically depressed wrung-out rags, and I am AGAINST ALL THOSE STOOOOPID DRUGS except for the SERMS.  Not all women can take those, tho, it just depends on what kind of woman you are, young, old, this, that, I don't know the details.  So, if you are showing allergy to it, just ASK about the SERMS.  And generally, unless you're experiencing a recurrence, you shouldn't take that drug you're on.  I learned all this from our website, but did have to go offsite to the maker's website to learn about IT.

Veg & Dune, as stalwart as i am about being "over" cancer, once in a while some wierd stuff comes up in my life, and everything is cancer.  So, if you'll look at your lives and how they're driving you up a wall, that's how come you got those feelings.  Get a massage, it helps.

WREN, yup, thanks for the tip on goats, I had saved a newspaper article in a book I have on goats, I knew if some people who have them, and some folks up the street have four or five, yes it would work.  But I'm still thinking about making the guy who was supposed to do it come back.  I've a mind not to pay the sum'bitch ANY extra cuz he was paid PLENTY to make that right FIRST, and he doesn't do it at all. 

DUNE, DUNE, DUNE, gotta be talking at ya, girl.  I'm hearing you.  I feel so daggum bad about you, I just wish I was in the right shape to come and get you and throw you in the ocean.  GEE WHIZ.  TELL US PLEZ PLEZ PLEZ HAVE YOU gotten the job at Royal Farms yet???  I gots to know.  And I think it's a perfect match with your organic inclinations.   And lookie here, girl, I don't care how well family gets along, when you live with family, it's hell.  YOU ARE NOT IN A REGULAR PLACE, just a temporary necessary place.  You're a grown woman living at your Mom's, sick as a dog, no money, perhaps no job yet, so how in the world could ANYONE get a fighting chance at a litle fun under these conditions?  It's just screwed right now.  Getting that job will make a HUGE diff.  Solves several and nearly all your probls all at once.  And you can always just one night tell your Mom you want some compleely alone time and go check into a NICE hotel (to heck with the cash) that has room service, and watch HBO, just ONE NIGHT!!!  Go for a walk, too, while yo're there, on their grounds, just a little one.  Swim in their pool.  DUNE, I remember really not that long ago that you were one of my delights on this forum.  I just loved your inteesting thoughts, your support of me, and all the sharing all of us did with you and each other.  This was a busy little forum.

But I have to tell you all something, and it's not cancer at all.  I had a very strange set of circumstances set me WAY back in a big hurry right out of nowheres.  I was minding my own business, and I'll just stick to the two things out of several that went wrong all within a couple days, and I couldn't handle it and lost all sense of me.  I get this form letter from Medicare, scared the hell out of me.  I had my modified radical masectomy on August 2, 2011, because we had to put our poor dog down the 1st of August, so it's a date I cannot forget.  Well, the form says from that day to today, I have met zero deductibles (which is impossiible, I paid my share of that bill, all the rads after, doc checks, penumonia this winter in the hospital, and a week because of a hospital error last spring.  I PAID ALL OF MY BILLS, and not many can say that.  AND I HAVE NO MONEY.  And this thing is telling me I just might have to pay that entire mastectomy $15,000 bill.  WHATTTTT????????   I went nuts, out of my mind, jumped all over that phone (and I don't even like the phone) and wrote everybody except the President of the U.S.  I get a call on the phone about two weeks later, they left a message from Medicare, and I TOLD THEM I couldn't do the phone ahead of time, but I'm TRYING to get it straight to call those bastards.  The only thing that makes it right is TWICE in the last couple years I could have sued the hospital for everything they had, but I was big about it, until NOW.  I will indeed do that if somethign is VERY wrong.  All my deductibles have been met, I've paid all my bills and there's been bunches and bunches, I've already paid and Medicare paid that mastectomy surgery bill two years ago, so WHAT THE EFF IS UP? 

Now, on top of that, I fall a lot because of the neuropahy in my feet from the chemo and back problems.  Well, this time I fell backwards and hit my head.  Headache two days.  I'm okay.  But those two things and a couple other oddball things, and there came some kidna BIG glitch in my vibe line of life, I'll tell you.  I CANNOT TAKE THIS KIND OF CRAP.  I live a messy life, but the big stuff is completely straight, and this is exactly how my father lives his life, too.  So, other than the callback two weeks after I wrote, which I need to return from a week ago, I decided the ONLY way I could deal with it was to turn off everything, zero incoming.

So, my world stopped.  No phone.  I began to relax, deep breathing, stretching, putting thoughts of money and brain damage aside for now (SCREW IT).  I slept when I wanted, got up at 3 a.m. and didn't care.  And each day I got better and better.  I put off cleaning up the house, which was set for early last week, I really let some sobs go about VERY old things, decades ago, and more recent cancer BS too that I thought was all gone, and one day I came out and borrowed some of my husband's energy.  This man, he is magical.  His personal power is awesome, his patience, his focus, he is a quiet, polite, gentle man, very sweeet to me, I love him to pieces, and he me.  We are one, click in a million ways.  And really, just having him in the same room is a HUGE relief.  So, once in a blue moon, I'll ask for his hand, and I can feel his power.

So, I came out, took his hand and told him I needed him for a few minutes to help straighten out my vibe.  We held lightly, I felt of how it was, about average, and then squeezed his hand tighter, and that's when I felt this shock of energy go through me, straighten out that vibe line, and I just cried and cried and gently let go of his hand.  He asked what was wrong.  And I just told him how badly I needed him.  I laid on the couch and poured out my heart, whatever the hell it was that day on my mind.  All I had left was a little boulder, sharp-edged left to get it all smooth, and so I got out the wine that relaxes me, and drank a half-glass every day, once I drank a whole, and all of a sudden, i was back in the beautiful place I'm to be.

So, that's why I haven't been here.  Now, as to FUZZY, she really is doing just as I think someone said, moving forward, altho I haven't asked her or brought it up particularly.  I see her online in another place, I just can't do the phone calls, and that girl IS FINE.  She is doing so good that it's funny.  Oh, you all would love her.  But she's also still, just like before, real sensitive to difficulties.  And I just guess all this websute styff is really a litle hard,you know.  Forgeting it all is one way out.  Me, I'm a talker, so I don't mind going on and on and on and on and on.  I used to be the last to leave the party when I was social, the friend that won't let go, the one who prays over her dead dogs and cries a river for days.

So, I think that's it on my thing.  I think I got it all in one fell swoop.  SMILE.  Ya'll ain't been too busy on here.  I think the BIGGEST deal, a least for me, is knowing DUNE if you got that job.  If not, you get right back in that thing and get something else.  Any sort of job place where they have counselors will help you get you some kind of work. 

And for those with no money, folks, I'm here to tell ya, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN BROKE, but I've always had enough.  Just enough.  We all do.  And family help is perfectly normal.  Makes THEM feel better.  Especially if they can afford it.  SCREW paying it back, good grief.  I know because one time my Dad loaned me a couple thousand when I was in a huge mess, went crazy the whole deal, and for TEN YEARS I fretted about it, then another TEN YEARS, and soon it ws almos 20 years and I paid it back.  Dad said he had forgotten about it and HE WASN'T KIDDING.  So, put it right out of your mind about relatives helping.  Remember when you got cancer, that's when you realized your FAMILY is the most important thing in the world to you.  Takes almost dying to figure it out.  And your family feels the same way, and when you're in pain and have problems and they nearly lose you, they will stand on their heads if they have to to get you the help, whatever it is, and it's usually money, to straighten things out for you.  So, GET THE MONEY, take easy street, we are cancer survivors and that is no easy task.  We are the lucky ones, even Veggie, becuz we're ... what? .... we're all still HERE.  Do you see?  Do you really see?  WE are VERY special people, AND we should treat others as very special.  But don't let that stop you taking some cash.  It's just money, a method of trade when in need.  We should take every opportunity that suits us.  We should get on with living, and sure, we're gonna feel like crap sometimes, but what the heck, who doesn't?  Just feel like crap and be done with it.  Do stuff to relax during those times.

Sorry this is so very long, but as you can see, I had SO MUCH to say.  Let me see if I can get a pic from my Face Book page that is very uplifting, and then I'll go, but I'm here.  I LOVE ALL MY CANCER SURVIVOR SISTERS VERY, VERY MUCH, and I am humbled by all of you toughing it out when suff gets hard.  I want each and every one of you to pick a couple possible days this week to check out or order a GOOD movie you haven't seen, pick up some takeout like Chinese or Subway, plenty to drink like milk or sodas, and turn UP that A/C, pull the curtains, get a nice comfy favorite pillow and blanket, and get all laid out just right, and flip on the TV.  You are blessed and deserve SOME form of relief, and that just happens to be mine.  That and walking through a pine forest, REALLY relaxing.  Hearts and hugs, Gail

HERE'S VEGGIE'S SWEETIE-CUTIE-PIE HUGGY SMILEY SIGH !!!!!!!!!!

And here is a deep blue vision I had, never had such a deep blue before with my eyes closed.  Aside from blue chakras, anyone know what blue might mean?  I finally got my vibe line completely straight!  I talked with the people at the hospital, and they said Medicare was doing a whole slew of these "we won't pay" review standard form things, they mean nothing, it's for the hospital to deal with.  Gosh that was a relief.  And the people who weed-eated our yard except for one place, THEY CALLED and so I was able to ask them to PLEASE come back and do the briar patch i specifically wanted them to do first.  They will do it, the girl said.  So, Richard goes to the grocery store very soon (I'm dying of missing all my favs), and maybe we'll go get his fish stuff that he needs soon and I can start cleaning.  No big deal, just a couple hours, four days a week, two weeks, and do a little outside awhile afer that.  Tomorrow I'm supposed to get myself showered and dressed to surprise my Mom with a visit and some special pictures of her Mom that I got in the mail from a museum!  But PLEASE LORD I cannot do it until Friday.  I just cannot.  My time is all wrecked up.  Gotta get off now, ladies. SO TIRED.  Let me go for a little while, but I will check until I hear about Dune and her job.  GG

I'm glad you are doing better Veggy. You too Gail! I did get the job. It is kicking my buttocks. Actually, it is killing my feet. I don't like it, but I will keep trying, hoping that I toughen up. We'll see. My third day is tomorrow. Then I HOPE I get several days off. I'm having a particularly rough time today because I have a toothache, so besides the horrible pain throughout the right part of my face, head, ear, and neck, I also have pain in my feet and a drippy hot water faucet in the tub. That will have to drip until I can get to it Thursday. Hopefully I will be able to fix it. I have a dentist appt on the 29th. That's 2 weeks away. I hope the toothache eases up so that I can make it that long. Otherwise, all is well. I just really have to toughen up. This will be a good job because after 90 days I can put in for a transfer (and I would request transfer to Reisterstown, near mom). Gail I'm still living in my house. There is very little interest in it from the market. Then again, that's OK. I want to work those 90 days (if I can keep doing it) so that I will be free to request that transfer. If I get the transfer, then I would probably go live with mom, regardless of what happens with the house here.

Y'all take care.

LOL Gail. Oh my. That girl has been gone for a while now. Apparently, they were doing meth over there. That's why they were so loud and running up and down the steps and in and out the doors. Dan isn't even over there anymore. He is getting it ready to rent it out.

My feet didn't hurt as badly today but I am pretty upset that she put me on the schedule for tomorrow, Friday, and Sunday. So I worked Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and will work Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. That's way too much. I will talk to the manager when I go in tomorrow, IF I go in tomorrow. I have the toothache from hell right now and have had it for 2 days. At times the pain approaches the intensity of the pain I experienced when I was having my 3rd degree burns cleaned. That pain was so bad that I would just sink to my knees and cry. They would give me morphine for that. I don't know what to do about this. I have an appt with a dentist the last Monday of this month, but that is a long time off with this pain. I imagine emergency dentistry will be very expensive. I may not be able to avoid that though.

Thanks for the suggestions for places to check out down south. I will make a note of them for sometime when I do go down to visit.

I'm sorry that you had a spiritual crash, and I'm glad you are feeling better. I know all about that "do it tomorrow" policy. I did that for years. I only got moving because of thinking I would have been moved out of here by now. At this point I am just doing a wait and see thing. I plan to move to mom's, but that may not be for a year, maybe more. I want at least 90 days (if I can hang in at work that long). I have heard that one can ask to be transferred to another store after 90 days. There is a Royal Farms near mom's house, so I will put in for a transfer to there. That will be perfect . . . as long as I actually get toughened up. LOL. Right now I need to learn not to panic when I feel confused. Either my feet are getting acclimated or my tooth hurt so bad that it took the focus off my feet.

Have a nice day Gail!

And your dentist might be able to move the appointment up. Mine has done that.

DUNE, you didn't mention if Orajel has ever worked for you on a sore tooth.  Sometiems a tooth can get so bad that ain't NOTHING gonna make it better.  I remember one time I had a bad tooth, before I discovered OJ, and I wanted to tie a string around it and have someone slam a door shut with me locked into a osition whre I wouldn't move, so the tooth would come out.  HA!  Too much bravery.  When I had my boob removed, they knocked my front tooth out putting in that airway thing.  Ye gads.  Tey didn't even save it for me.  By then, I finally lost all my teeth, but they had been going away bit by bit fora long time.  But it's hell NOT having teeth.  Simpler, but puts an IQ on you of 50, ages you by 50 years, and in general puts a minus 50 in there on you automatically in appearance.  Just pour (or inject) a gallon of wine or whiskey on your tooth, take a pair of pliars, with help holding you still, and have someone stand over you and yank tha booger outta there.  Ohhhhhhhh, I'm being silly now. 

Yah, I hate those split shift jobs.  It's a nightmare.  It's better when you know what two days you get, tho.  I've had it both ways.  Knowing REALLY helps, but with the kind of business you're in, they get product in diff days, special cleaning habits get done diff times, lotsof variables.  Plus the other girls have THEIR special days.  IF you're willing to work part-time ad IF they are able to, you could work Tues-Sat, or Tues-Fri or Wed-Sun.  It sounds like Sats and Mons are their easy days.  I've worked them all, and I like having Sundays and Mondays off, or add Sat off, and that way Fri or Sat night is very exciting (might even be ble to get a half-day morning Sats), and NOBODY likes to work Mondays and you can get stuff done.  Depends on how they feel about all this stuff. If they say no, to take off any heat you create, jus ttelll them your feet hurt and tooth hurts, and youw ere jus trying to get some days off together for suffering time.  SMILE.

WHY would you sell your condo?  Do you have enough equity in it to put lots in the bbank for whaever, or do you want to eventually move to a real house, or are your paychecks and/or energy just not enough for a condo right now?  I'm being nosey, but realy only lookig for solutions.  You part with whatever info you want.  I think you've done marvelously well under some VERY trying problems, and keeping organic and all that right now is really good of you.  I was a vegetarian for I reckon ten years or so.  They have organic milk in the regular groc store now!!!

Did you try chemo?  I guess tha would be about the most anti-organic you could get!!!  Or an operation?  I wanted one so bad, but the way they do some of them now, mine was the size of Wisconsin, so they had to get that wad-dupple down in size before they chopped it off.  UGH.  i wanted it off NOW.  oh well.  I got thru it is the maim thing, i get one final check=up from cancer people next month, and then if I get an okay, I think I can realy finallly let go, since I got NED last fall.  After the doc apointment, I think I'll ask the folks to eat at one of my fav places near thier house to celebrate!!!  I've been anti-social since we had to downsize a house we lived in for 20 years, moved a few neighborhoods over about seven yrs ago, broke my heart in two.  But at this point, I think I'd miss this litle place now.  Let's see, part of Judy Collins' song:

Across the morning sky,
All the bird are leaving,
Ah, how can they know it's time for them to go?
Before the winter fire,
We'll still be dreaming.
I do not count the time

Who knows where the time goes?
Who knows where the time goes?

Oh, yeah, this putting stuff off routine.  I cannot BELIEVE how you went right through your house and straightened it clean out.  HOW DID YOU GET UP THE MOTIVATION?  Heroin is about all that could get me to do it.  HAHAHAHAHAHAAH.  This place is really cute as it is, but SO DIRTY.  And I haven't finished "decorating" it at all, whichis my fav thing after I clean a place,I see all sorts of neat things I can do.  Right now I'm spying these blutterfly busheses, these are 3-in-1 butterfly bushes, grow about 10' tall and wide, PERFECT for some blank places created when they de-bushed my yard.  Talk about a mess!  My contractor said in 18 years of business, my yard was the worst he had ever seen.  GOOD GRIEF.  I always downplay stuff, so when I say my house is dirty, it's got the bubonic plague in it!  SMILES SMILES.

Gotta go, girls.  Gosh, Dune, i hope your tooth gets yanked out NOW.  Why in the HELL won't the docs just give us the dang morphine and be done with it????  We could become a socialist country whose main feature is drug addicts.  HAHA!!!  Guess that wouldn't work.  Well, everyone keep on keeping on.  And I DO think of my litle ladies who have been all hit by the same drunken-drive 18-wheeler truck that's slammed us, and how we just walk outta the smoke and say, "Is that all you got?"  Hearts and hugs and hammers!  Love,GG

I have an appt with an endodontist on the 30th, but they put me on the emergency list in case someone cancels. This pain is excruciating. Pain meds don't even touch it now. I think my face is going to fall off. I sure hope that pain is the worst of it and that further damage is not being done. It sure FEELS like more damage is being done. It feels like my teeth are being pushed out of the gums. Yet I talked to 4 dentists (in addition to the one I have been seeing) and none of them can see me sooner that that. They acknowledge it is an emergency but won't book me until August? Seriously? WTF?!?!?! I am taking antibiotics. I hope they keep my face from falling off.

I'll miss my little place too . . . if I can ever get out of here. I owe more on the mortgage than it is worth, so selling it is going to be tough. At least I have a job now. Maybe finances won't be so bad . . . as long as life doesn't hit me with another bunch of shit.

Has anyone ever died of a toothache?

Sorry ladies for not posting here - between my job and grandkids I have barely been able to think... I am now on the list for "Chronic Pain" and the doctors have all agreed to forget any more tests unless it pertains to cancer and they are putting me on pain meds... I refuse to take them at the moment, with me driving and traveling with granddaughter. But once I am home I guess until I know how they react, I will be homebound unless someone comes and gets me.. This is the pits... I will make that decision later - right now its enjoying my view and playing with the grandkids... Yes, I'm in pain and I take one of those pain pills at bedtime.. but I'm not willing to give up my only 2 weeks with my granddaughter for my own comfort... is that stupid or what... Time for a calming view again... 

Chabba I agree with Dunes 100%. You are one awesome lady!