Starting Chemo February 2013

Heidi hope each day you are feeling better. I am pretty darn sore from my surgery Tuesday. PS did lots of pocket work on BC side and my armpit is sliced open and stitched up with a drain hanging out of it thanks to the lymph node issue. I was having a bit of a pity party last night as I was in pain and just plain SICK of it. Then we watched that Chris Powel weight loss show and I saw that poor young boy with no arm and felt really guilty for feeling sorry for myself. Its sucks but it too will pass. I check everyday for new hair. 5 wks PFC and not a stubble!! DANG! Oh Well I will be on the sofa all weekend with my lovely drain hanging out. Take care Heidi!!

Thank you for jumping in my pockets, I'm still at hospital. Waiting for radiation simulation, but had to share my great news, I got PCR!!!!! I can't believe it and feel so blessed!i know everyone's positive thoughts helped, thank you xoxo

Heidi,

What a great post.  You described what so many of us have been through, the physical pain, hair loss, weight gain, weight lost and all with a sense of humor.  You are right about the morphine, best stuff they ever could put into a drip.  And with regard to the disappointment in missing "meatloaf night",  After having had cancer (which is almost like going to hell and back), we look forward to the little things in life to keep us going. 

I will be praying for your speedy recover

Tangles, I'm sorry your in such discomfort, don't be hard on yourself everyone feels pain differently and heals at different rates. Very happy your nodes are clear-happy dance! Are you "upping" your protein intake? It helps in healing after surgery and chemo, might give you a bit more energy. Rest well, things do get better!

Just did Rad and herceptin today. Feeling ok Not tired. Will see

Hope everyone is doing well

Hope everyone is feeling better today.



I have to share this...I went to have my 6mo. follow up mammogram yesterday. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 months since all this began! I was there for 2 1/2 hours. I had to wait while they read them. I forgot to mention that I was dreading it and was really anxious before going. So after waiting,hoping to be told to get dressed and that I could then go home, instead they told me they needed to do more pics if the axillary area. I had lymph node involvement before and this was scary to me. The tech gave me a wet wipe and told me to scrub my armpit because deodorant residue will sometimes give a false positive reading. I wanted to throw up, I really wanted to throw up but somehow pet it together. They did several more pics from different angles. I didn't say a word, the tech was trying to chit chat and I just wanted her to shut up and get it over with while I was able to hold it together. I was sent back to wait again. While waiting the anxiety really started to build. I took a Xanax and imagined how horrible it would be to have to go through it all again. How I had been so happy to be done with chemo and almost done with it all. How my hair was just starting to grow back and a "normal" life was within reach. I started thinking how hard it would be on my family if I had a reoccurrence. What if it was what was going to take me out and how I didn't want to die from cancer. The waiting was horrible, it was beyond excruciating. I prayed to God that I didn't have to do it again...especially not so soon. I didn't want to be defeated. After what seemed to be an eternity, I was called back and was told that it was determined that why they saw and were questioning was scar tissue from my lumpectomy. I left numb and exhausted.



So, here's my question...will this always be in the back of our minds? How do we forget and completely free ourselves of the fear of reoccurrence? It makes me angry that the whole experience yesterday robbed me a little of some of the joy I had at being done with chemo. I came home and knocked out from being mentally drained and exhausted.



I'm off the hook again until December, then it's time again. Anyone else had their 6 mo. follow up yet?

Tangles: SO glad to hear that your nodes were all clean! I'm sure that's a load off! You were due for a break!

kkmom: before chemo I had a ct and pet scan which was clean. My MO had said that I would have a mammogram of the affected side every 6 months and then a bilateral every year. I'm not sure how long I'll have to do the one every 6 months. It looks like you and I will be having our mammos together. Mine is in December too.

LW, I am so sorry for your experience yesterday. I have to have a repeat breast MRI soon to follow an area in my right breast. I would be so angry if I have to do this all over again for the right breast. I guess we have no choice but to accept our new normal. But I'm going to try really hard not to let that rule my life.

Had my post - op follow with my breast surgeon today. The pathology report wasn't back, but she was able to call and get some basic info. 3 nodes were involved - so we have an appointment to meet with the RO again after I get my drains out. Otherwise everything was kind of how we expected. Just dealing with the itchy tape / camisole from the drains. So tired of itching . . . But ill take it over being sore I guess.

Nancy,

How is your hair coming along?  I asked you about your hair a couple of weeks ago.  I think you are 5 weeks ahead of me.  I just finished chemo on May 22, so this week I am 6 weeks from last chemo.  I have a small, smidge, tiny amount of hair growing.  I really miss my hair and I just need enough back so I don't have to wear these caps.  With all the stuff that goes along with breast cancer, I would have to say - losing my hair has not been the worst, but it has been the most annoying. 

Pam

When I first met my surgeon at the beginning of this journey he said concerning who gets breast cancer:  "You've either got bad genes or bad luck."  I fall into the bad luck category. Got the pathology from surgery and apparently I was misdiagnosed with the first one and not for the better.  Originally I was dx'd with a poorly dfferentiated grade 3 IDC. According to the new report I have something called carcinosarcoma of the breast. Not good news. This thing is rare and I mean RARE.  Less than .1% of breast cancer is carcinosarcoma.  It's so rare, little is known about it or how to treat it.   I've already had chemo based on the first diagnosis and I'm afraid it wasn't what I need for this.  But based on what I've read chemo probably isn't that effective on this kind of breast cancer anyway.  Removal and Radiation are the only things that they know is any kind of effective.  I was going to get that anyway.  They think there is a higher incidence of recurrence but so few people get this they just don't know and what little survival statistics there are aren't great.  And here I was thinking I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Now I realize it's a train.  Sorry to be the buzz kill on the 4th of July and everybody's finishing up and feeling pretty good that.  I am just having a really hard time with this.  I'll meet with my oncologist next week.

Gosh so sorry for every-ones problems. KKmom I am with you. 6 wks PFC today and not a sign of any new hair growth. So Depressing. Was really hoping for some by now:-(

Heidi sorry about your news. Just pray they have caught it early enough and now that you have been in treatment you have got it covered. They will keep a close eye on you know which is good.  I will say a prayer for you girl!!

McKatherine I am surprised with having Chemo first you had nodes involved. It worries me that the chemo didn't kill them off? I had a Node test positive under my armpit and did Chemo first and when they took it out last week it did not test positive anymore as the chemo had killed it. I would be asking why the chemo didn't kill those off?? Good luck to you. Hope your healing OK.

I'm still very sore from my surgery. The side that was just the exchange is mild sore but the side that needed all the work and node removed is extremely sore. Feeling like I have went through the masectomy all over again . Cant move my arm above my head. UGH.Going to PT Friday for help.....

Heidi and McKatherine lots of prayers and positive thoughts heading your way.  I attached a pic of my hair growth as avatar.  I'm 10 weeks out as of yesterday and seem to have a bunch of hair. I can still see my scalp a little but I just keep popping Biotin and using the nioxin.  Is yours similar Nancy? I had to shave my legs for the first time a couple days ago but the hair was baby soft, same with one armpit, the hair hasn't grown in the lumpectomy side.  I had thin fine hair so figured it would take forever for my hair to grow in but so far that doesn't seem to be the case.

melody - my hair is similar to yours except it looks like you actually have more hair than me..