Starting Chemo February 2013

LW0919

Well, it's that time again. Going for my diagnostic mammogram next week. This will be the first time since diagnosis that I went for an entire year w/o a 6 month follow up. I'm kind of worried about what all could have gone on in there this past year. I'm starting to really dread it!

IamNancy

hope it all goes well for you - let us know... I now dread mammograms also - I need to get one this month but haven't called for the appointment yet... just can't face it

LW0919

I think it's still a little bit of PTSD that I feel. I get a quesy feeling in my gut and will really be on edge beginning the day before. The day of, sitting in the room waiting for results,will require a Xanax!

IamNancy

I still haven't called to make my appointment

tangles

good luck gals. I just had surgery at the Mayo clinic to repair damage the Plastic surgeon did to my nerve. Boy hoping the 3 yr journey can just be done so I can move on!!!!!!!!

IamNancy

hoping with you tangles ... let us know..

IamNancy

Finally went for my mammogram last week - got a call yesterday to come in for an ultrasound .. same breast I had the cancer in ..almost cried on the phone its so upsetting... hoping its nothing -- I am going today..

Heidi9256

Well, IamNancy keep us posted. Worrying doesn't change anything, it'll just give you diarrhea. I too hate the check ups. I don't have to have mammograms but the rechecks with the onc and radiologist are stressful and I dread them - between the two of them, I'm getting felt up every three months. I'm in the same boat as everyone else - I feel older and I think I look older and it's taken FOREVER for my hair to get back to close to normal. And everything just hurts. But I'm also thankful to still be here to complain. I am three days away from my 3 year anniversary (that's a big milestone for the type of cancer that I had). Three years ago I couldn't imagine being at this point and yet here I am... life goes on. I've only just now begun to think of myself as a survivor.

tangles

Thinking of you Nancy! I agree I am grateful to be cancer free, but would give anything to feel like I did before all these surgeries, Chemo and Rads. I hurt everyday. I am so Jelly when I hear women who have had BC and are running a marathon and such. Gezzz I am lucky if I can go shopping for a few hours without pain. I am not even 50 yet which scares me how I am going to feel in 10 yrs!!!! Well enough pity party for now! SO many dying of Cancer that would trade places with me in a heartbeat I am SURE!!

IamNancy

Fortunately they think its fluid ... a seroma... I have to check with the breast surgeon to see if she will want to aspirate it but if not the body could absorb it - and it can take a while for that to happen... yeah!! its not serious and I am so relieved..

thanks Ladies...

melody46

Hi Everyone, Was just sitting around watching tv tonite and you all popped into my head. Glad to hear everyone is doing well and in good spirits. My birthday is next Tuesday and I was thinking almost 3 years ago I was told I was going to have chemo, some birthday present. I finally got my dr to level with me on what feels like lingering chemo brain. He said at 45 my body was thrown into menopause coupled with the tamoxifen blocking hormones basically its turned me into a 65 year old woman. NOT that theres anything wrong with being 65. I am seriously re thinking Tamoxifen. I guess I never really knew how important hormones are. I recently read an interesting USA today article that really broke down Tamoxifen and the risk/rewards. Aside from that my foot pain has gotten better- now to lose some of this weight! On a positive note I have the nicest, softest thickest hair I've ever had.

LW0919

Hi melody46. I know how you feel! I'm 44 but felt like I was closer to 65. I stopped taking tamoxifen back in late December. I ran out and just got so busy with Christmas I didn't get a refill and after the first week, I started to realize how good I felt. I didn't ache all over throughout the day and I had energy. I realized it was the tamoxifen that was making me feel bad after chemo and radiation. I didn't realize how it felt to actually feel good because it had been so long! I had thought based on my paperwork after the mammo print results came in that I was getting a 10% benefit from recurrence by taking tamoxifen because it cuts your risk for recurrence in half, I was willing to take a gamble when I realized how great I felt not being on it until I went back for a follow up visit and my MO asked me how i was doing with Tamoxifen. When I told her that I had stopped and why, she proceeded to tell me that my recurrence rate was closer to 40% and not the 20% that I had thought. The 20% recurrence rate that was given with the mammoprint results was based on no lymph node involvement. I had a positive lymph node. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. She said though I had a small tumor, the fact that I had a positive lymph node suggested that the biology of the tumor was such that I needed to be very vigilant and not stop hormone therapy that it was my greatest defense against recurrence, over and above chemo and radiation. Needless to say, it was disturbing and depressing to know I really don't have a choice. It's been 2 weeks since my appointment. I'll be starting tamoxifen again next week. I'm frustrated just knowing that I have to go back on tamoxifen to significantly reduce the risk of recurrence but at the same time, the "quality" of my life will be reduced. It really sucks, for lack of a better word! My MO asked that I give I give it at least 5 years before stopping. That leaves me with 2 1/2 more years on tamoxifen. I guess I have to give it another go!

IamNancy

..maybe because you took a break from the medication, it will be easier this time...and knowing how important it is for you, you may tolerate side effects better.. after 3 yrs on my medication, I try to not focus on the side effects because I don't know if they are side effects of the meds or just aging.. LOL

LW0919

thanks Nancy. I certainly hope it is more tolerable this time

melody46

Wow been a while since I've been on here. This is the article I read which made me think about the statistical terror. I thought it was interesting and it put the statistics into perspective. When I showed it to my oncologist he seemed to get uncomfortable, when I saw him in May and asked him about stopping he scared the hell out of me so I'm still taking it. Fear won.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/health/conditions/cancer/tamoxifen-what-difference-does-it-really-make

Heidi9256

Just an anecdotal FYI, my mother in law had hormone positive BC and was supposed to do the 5 years of Tamoxifen but quit after about 2 years (without telling anyone) so she did not do the whole 5 years. TEN YEARS later, the BC came back and she passed away. The onc stated that she definitely should have had the full 5 years and that was most likely a factor in the cancer's recurrence. She said she wished she had just suffered through the 5 years of Tamoxifen.

IamNancy

Heidi

Sorry about your M-I-L but its a good lesson for all of us ... keep taking the meds.

zennurse

Hey! Any of the February 2013 ladies still on the site?

IamNancy

zennurse - I am here...still

LW0919

Just checking in to say I'm still here too

IamNancy

LW0919 and -zennurse how are you both doing?

LW0919

Hi Nancy! I would like to say that I'm not thinking about bc anymore but unfortunately, I am. I go tomorrow to get another chest X-ray to see if the abnormalities found in my lung are still there. If they are, I will then go for a CT scan.Hopefully it was just pneumonia and my lung will be clear in the X-ray after taking antibiotics. I'm concerned because the X-ray also showed a broken rib but I've had no falls or accidents. It had been really tender but had no idea it was broken. It was 5 years ago today that I was initially diagnosed. Hard to believe it's been 5 years already!

How are you doing?

IamNancy

LW0919 - just saw your message - how did your xrays turn out? lungs clear? and do they have any idea about the broken rib? hopefully all is well.

yep 5 yrs for us - suppose to be when we can say Amen, but there it is, still in the back of our minds!

I will be taking the Arimidex for at least 5 more years..... have borderline anemia now and low platelets - non-alcoholic cirrhosis / fatty liver-bad feet = wonder if any of this is side effects of the chemo

melody46

Hi Ladies, Glad to see someone checked in. I'm still here too! I have a lot of weird lymph pain that comes and goes in my armpit and side of my ribs but it's probably from the lymph biopsy. My breast is still tender from the lumpectomy and I'm pretty sure it's never going to go away. Like all of you bc is on my mind too much and every change in bloodwork seems to send a bolt of fear through me. Doing my best to try and live in the moment but its tough sometimes. LW how is your rib? Nancy sorry to hear about problems your having too. Do you think it was from chemo? What does your Dr think?

IamNancy

I really do think its from the chemo... however, dr isn't sure... I guess without "proof" they don't want to blame the treatments. Sorry you are still having pain - I can understand that - sometimes my underarm rib area is stiff and sore .... we've been through alot.

IamNancy

does anyone still check in here? I just wonder how everyone is doing...