Fuzzy's Romp Room

CHAB & ESTY (as in ESTA-GROOVA), I wonder if fawns are usually born right at the end of spring?  And I jus would have died seeing a real fawn just born, CHAB, sooooo sweet.  And ESTY, I just think your sweetie doggie is absolutely adorable, oh what a sweetie indeed.  SO cute, so pretty, so loving.  Poor little fella, liver cancer, wow.  Ours had liver failure from one of her meds, so we switched her off.  ESTY, did you know FUZZOLA had her a little tiny puppy too, was right by her side thru the whole awful story. 

I remember shortly after we downsized our house and I was filled with regret and my back was REALLY painful, that I simply could not get off the couch one day.  One of my dogs was laying in her bed and watching me, she was the smaller female Goldwyn, her male mate Gandalf was outside somewhere.  So, she was studying me, and dang if she didn' walk right over to me, and stood right beside me, and I was able to lean all over that medium-sized dog and get up, and she ALSO walked right beside me to the kitchen.  Oh, sad memories, losing our best doggie friends, but right around the corner Smoke was waiting for us, and boy did he ever need us and we sure needed him. 

Oh, would that all of life for all people were like the birth of our little deer and the devotion of our dogs.  Thank you two so much for sharing.  Some of these things really make my day, and I'm sure the other swetties here too.  Love all, GG.

FUZZY I think is taking a break from all this cancer anxiety and wreckage.  She is a sweet soul, strong as she might be, and I think this all hurt her very deeply.  Not that long ago, I almost drifted away, but stuff kept happening that I wanted to bring up.  You know, FOLEY (Esterista), Fuzzy is even the person who when she began this thread was upset to no end about how she hadn't gotten back to normal.  I'm telling you, cancer is indeed a life-changing event.  I felt I did better than some, but along with my back issues, I've aged 30 years easily. 

Do you all think I would look "over the top" if I tried to dress a little nicer and fix my hair and makeup a little better?  I don't look all that old even tho I'm 62, but I don't want to go overboard, you know.  That newer medicine they gave me, even tho it nearly killed me in the beginning, is at the right level now, and I find myself thinking more and more positive about stuff I want to do to each room to make it nicer, too.  We've been downright sinful in our complete inability to keep things up around here.  I think resting for two years is probably enough, tho.  I jus don't want to overdo, uou know.  Love, GG

Hey have not been here for sometime......linger a lot on STFU thread, and low and behold Dunesleeper entered "The Nuthouse", and sent her a PM......realized we talked on Fuzzy's thread, and came back to say HI....gonna catch up with what you all have been up to, and see if your still as loony as ever.....lol



Fuzzster, Dog, hi.....GMA, you have joined "The Nuthouse", but hello on this thread.....



You all have to stop by.....if your a little bit goofy, love to laugh, cry. and share your stories, "the Nuthouse" is always open........hugs

Can I come on holiday to you room it sounds like a haven. I'm sitting waiting to see my GP so I think I have the credentials

Gail, I know a girl on facebook who would love that picture. And Gma, it looks like you had a nice clear day up there in the clouds over Oregon.

My boob, foob, whateverthehellitis, hurts. I need to find a bra that supports but is not tight. The tight ones were bothering me so I wore a less restrictive one today and I'm thinking that was not the solution.

I did not did not did not did NOT like working at the Red Cross today. It is sooo slow on Wednesdays. I want to know why the volunteer coordinator feels that she needs 2 people there on Wednesdays. The lady that has been there for ages does everything anyway. She pisses me off. I swear, if she is going around saying she is doing my job for me I will smack her down. She OVERstocks things, and practically harasses people into taking something to drink. That is supposed to be my job. I check the stock when I first go in. It is all good. I offer to get people something to drink. If they decline, I tell them to let me know if they change their mind or to just go help themselves to what's in the fridge. Yet Charlotte sees them not drinking anything and so runs over to try to get them something to drink, and I just want to scream at her: I ALREADY ASKED THEM! If she wants to do it all, why do I have to be there bored out of my mind? I think it is because she wants to leave early. If that's what she wants, she should leave when I come in. Leaving a half hour or even an hour early is not sufficient reason for me to go in there. Anyway that's what I think. It's hard to talk to her because she is nearly deaf, so the whole place would hear what I am saying. It's craziness! Well, I will have to decide if I will continue Wednesdays or if I will talk to the volunteer coordinator about why she needs me there.

I guess this is good practice for if I ever get a paying job. There are bound to be personality conflicts. I have to learn to deal with them.

I guess I don't know anything else. The house is still for sale. No one has come to see it. The realtor will initiate short sale inquiries next week. Thankfully the recent storms did not cause any damage. I hope I did not jinx myself there. We are expecting more storms tomorrow.

Oh yes, and I pulled up some weeds in a crack in my parking pad today and a swarm of ants emerged and kept emerging. Then they started biting me. It was creepy. So now I keep hallucinating little black things moving. Then, when I look again, there is nothing there. Thank God! Uck. Now I am itching!

Gma, sigh.  Another comforting photo.  Thank you.

Dunes - good to see you here and so clear headed too!

Lily......yes, yes, yes.........I found after Rads a bear........however I was 76 when Rads began, and 78 now, but I still think it beats the hell out of the body.......not to mention the AI's, that finish you off.......SE's can be a bitch.......oh well I say, "it beats the alternative"......;although sometimes I wonder........

Gma..had problems with Femara, went off it cause I hit the donut hole. Started Letozole (generic Femara), and found that a little kinder.....not much, a little.....I informed Aetna I only wanted Teva Mfg. and no other...they said okay.....



I agree with your MO, it is about QOL........sometimes I feel like stopping.....I am 78, so how much longer do I have........if this devil pill gives me 10 more years feeling like shit, maybe I should be grateful for 5 with feeling like my old self once again.



Cancer takes your life away, without you dying.....it is a battle everyday, just to do normal things, forget anything extreme.....oh to have one more chance to really "live again"

Linda...my balance is horrible......I walk like a drunk.....not dizzy, but my gait is awful....I am from one side to the other.....I told my kids......cancer is not going to kill me......it is going to be a fall.......knees hurt ( thanks arthritis, and Femara), so that makes it even worse......it is all bullshit, and I am so fed up with it.........with cancer....the cure will kill you..........and what is worse, you never get cured, that is what the idiots call it........you just die from something else first.......crazy huh..

Lily, I also had big challenge of getting enough protein because I am vegetarian. I was too tired to cook much of the time. Greek yogurt has double amount of protein compared to regular - one little cup of the stuff will give you 15-20 gms of protein. Canned beans, nuts, and high-protein grains that cook quickly, peanut butter or cheese sandwiches. Some frozen prepared meals have up to 20 gms protein per meal - read labels!



I wish I had followed my instincts and refused chemo as well, but no woulda-coulda-shouldas - one of my sisters had a very short heart-to-heart talk with me a couple weeks ago, reminded me that my choices were the best I could do at the time, and the outcome would probably not have been any different if I had chosen to be even more aggressive at the beginning, which is comforting that she is not judging me and my choices. I think the choices I made after the chemo fiasco were influenced by my chemo experience, made me much less tolerant of tamoxifen, which would probably have been a better choice for me than chemo. Ooops - no woulda-coulda-shouldas ....!



Wishing you all a good weekend!

Me too - we need to chat today.. Just think - "Good news, Good news, Good news" I truly believe positive thoughts bring positive outcomes!

Maybe this peaceful picture will help both of us, if we just sit and breathe!!! 

WE ALL NEED A LITTLE FRIEND

Dorothy,
I'm glad you found us.  It's a great place to just be you.  I hope your trip to the doc went okay.  Let us know!

Estarista, I LOVE your new avatar.  I'm crazy about all things Celtic, and I just love the type of cross they have.  And yah, maybe you can take Wednesdays off at the Red Cross.  Obviously with Robotico Charlottico perfectly capable of handling the usual slower crowd that day, maybe you can goof off on Wednes.

Lily, I do not know what is going on with you being tired, but my last bloodwork showed low potassiu, so they had to get those levels straight.  I had no idea. As for rads, gosh, they burned from the insides and REALLY hurt for a few months afer it was done.  I got some medicines because it hurt.  Then they give me some sort of hormone-blocking drug and talk about insanity!  Ye gads!  I HAD to quit them.  And I don't care, neither.  I am very sensitive to emotional upset. 

Eating seems to help some.  I have taken to stopping at the "ready to eat" pepperonis, the original kind, and grab three or four packages to eat for two weeks.  Me and the dog like them very much.  And so I put all over the plate stuff like maybe 30 or so pepperonis (I know, it's waaaay too much), some milk with some sort of chocolate, maybe I'll micro up some kind of pocket combo of vegies and cheese and sliced steak, and then spinach... gots to have my spinachy, alltho I am getting sick of it, especially when the whole can tipped over and all the juice filled up what was left on my plate.  There are other things.. every morning it's cereal with milk, OJ, and coffee.  That's when Smokey and I eat together while husband sleeps.

But I'm the lucky one.  I get to take a lot of medicines for all my syndromes and disorders.  I hear you all, sounding pretty drab, falling apart, having nervous breakdowns, and I'm a'tellin ya, were it not for my legal drugs, I'd be a mess.  One of my drugs makes me forget stuff, so I cannot focus on much of anything very long.  This is ideal for getting all chewed up about some subject you'd just soon not be dealig with.  I take two pain pills, not enough, and plan to see an orthopedist and see what he thinks agout my twisted back, i just know if I had one big glob of something like oxycodone about mid-morning, I'd never have to deal with pain again for the rest of my life, which my cancer doc gave me one time to cool my jets when chemo destroyed any normalcy.  And then there's this one medicine that changed everything, and I think i already mentioned it.  But if I take too much, I stay up too late, so I cannot take much, but it helps me feel happier duriing all te tough times. 

Like right now, I just took everything off my to-do list and I am wallowing in all the green outside, and handled some dfficult stuff last two days and made it thru, so I'm double relieved. started taking some sesame seeds too, and I think that helped me.  It may have some estrogen in it, which I'm not supposed to have, but SCREW IT, if I feel better, I feel like the Good Shepherd is with me and I need Him so bad to help me limp along my little narrow pathway, he shines a pretty sparkle light for me to find my way.

When the Good Shepherd is with me, he holds my hand and lets me know everything is okay.  He leads me to green pastures and by the still waters, and restores my soul.  But you fine, fine ladies, I had to give in at a few junctures in my life of cancer...  Oh, I feel fear and yet I could NOT take the hormone blockers tos save my life, drove me plumb insane, and still I'm convinced I beat back that cancer, I tell myself it is gone and I only go see the cancer doc once a year now, screw it, I got rid of it... hell they gave me enough drugs that if I gave them to a little puppy, he'd be like a pup some mean people got drunk that I saw one time, and he just laid under a table in the kitchen and cried and cried. 

My nephew and I both did miles of chemo, and neither of us have much balance.  They say balance is a funcion of the eyes, the balance mechanism in the ear and brain, and THE FEET.  Both newphew and me have chemo-induced neuropathy, which you know it when you go it, it's like walking around on painful stumps, with bleeding bandages dragging around and hurting.  I've fallen down three times in the last few days, grass is getting too high.  So, nephew and I talk about what we've lost.  He's a genius, and his "brain fog" is really screwing up his progress in life, I don't even know if he'll be able to make a living.  Oh, isn't it all SO SAD?!?  So, I SAY THIS:  If something makes you feel better, by golly you do it, girl.  Do what makes it better.  We sure as hell don't need mountains of grief and misery on top of looking into the face of death every morning.  Kinda scary at times.  But MOST of the time, I just smile in the mirror, becuz I'm thinking about how I ain't gotta do something that day, or I smile because of one of Extra's photos, my gosh it's weathery up there, so soothing to look at.  And all I have to do, if I'm not too wrecked up from where I tore up my back from the car wreck is walk down to the gazebo and sit and watch the dog, and I feel better.

Girls, let us hold each other's hands, hands that sometimes make a nice meal, or play a tune on a piano, or pet a doggie or kitty, or just rest at our sides when we choose to feel goodness come over us, let it all go, ladies, let your demons go away for awhile, and instead invite in the Good Shepherd and He will take you where you need to go.  Just lay down for a spell with a window open and rest on the couch and look at the pictures of a favorite magazine.  Take it easy, go easy on yourself.  I love to hold my mother's hands.  I am small, but she is smaller, amd she adores it when I take her little hand and just hold it and we walk together, like little children who are friends together on a path well-lit by the Shepherd.  She knows I am with her always, right to the end, if I can make it.  I prayed that Jesus do not let me die before her, and so it will be.  Wouldn't be fair, would it, for her to bury me.

Oh, run and run and feel the breeze in your hair, soak in a warm soapy tub with a couple candles, eat some subway sandwich, drink a friendly drink, and always, always, feel the hand of your sister standing with you when life can be just SO tiresome and throwupy.  GG

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this view and help me survive the day...Amen.

Edit: And yes.. this is on our property when I went for my walk the other day..

My cockatiel is acting very weird. I worry that the cancer has returned and he senses that. I remember my bff telling me how her cat acted toward her just before she got the bad news. Either something spooked him while Iw as at work today or he is reacting to my own distress/anger/panic, or he knows I'm going to get bad news on Monday. Poor thing. I can't calm him down.