Uniboobers- do you ever wonder if you should be flat?

I'm a uniboober and have been since 2011. I use bras that are comfortable and look natural. My husband did not want me to get reconstruction because recon, to him, is more unnatural than being flat. And all the pain that goes with recon just is not worth it. I had 10 nodes removed and sometimes that arm is sore if I overlift or use it too much. I worked with a trainer for about 3 months and was sore all the time. But it's settling down now.

I often go form free, but my good boob is a AA, so it's not too noticeable. It would be hard if healthy boob was larger.

Good luck! I wonder what recon Angelina Jolie got?

Rianne

Hoping to revive this thread and get a few more opinions. All the media fuss and ensuing discussions about Angelina Jolie's surgery really got me thinking. A prophy MX was never presented to me as an option. I don't even know if insurance would pay. But I'm really considering it. I don't think the risks of surgery would be worth it if the only reasons were for symmetry and comfort. But for me anyway the MX was no big deal, it was the ALND that caused all the trouble. Lots of pain and loss of ROM even all these months later, doubt it will ever go away, not to mention the lifelong risk of LE and all the things you cannot do for fear of triggering it. If you have the PMX they don't take any lymph nodes, right? But if a new cancer appeared in the remaining boob then they would surely insist on doing the SLNB no matter how small it was or how early it was caught. At least now I have one good arm!



Am I crazy or do other women wrestle with these thoughts too?

I am actually about to do this.  I had a right side MX November 2012 and I am having a left side MX in July 2013.  I am BRCA1+ and Triple negative.  Maybe I am crazy but i'm not taking any chances....my kids need me.  I also had a hysterectomy.  I am uncomfortable walking around with one boob and bra's really tend to hurt.  I don't plan to do recon anytime soon or maybe ever.  I'm over it.  So after I have it done I will let you know

Moira - I was ok with it in the beginning - if anyone had asked me if I would consider additional surgery (either adding or subtracting) just for the sake of symmetry, I would've said no way.



But in the early days I really thought that it would heal up completely and I would feel fine again, back to normal.



As the months dragged on and I'm still in pain, still don't have anywhere near full use of the arm, and found out from the LE lady that the list of things you cannot do is FOREVER.... it all gets me down.



And I started to wonder, what happens if I do get a new cancer in the other breast? Then I'd have no good arm!! But if I had it removed before anything happened, I would still have one good arm and I would never have to worry about that again.



Bras, no getting around it, they just hurt. I wear one when I leave the house because there's no way I'm going out in public with "droopy" uncovered. I just suffer the pain. The spot where my scar goes right up to my armpit is super tender and I have tried dozens of bras, tanks, camis, they all press on that very spot and it hurts. :-(

It was the node removal and radiotherapy that has caused all my problems post op so part of my thinking about pmx is saving nodes on at least one side......I am still all over the place with this, all i know is i never feel comfortable, in or out of clothes.....

Jennie, Kt, Lily, and Linda, thank you all for your personal insights in answer to my question.

I completely understand the feelings and reasoning of each of you. it is such a difficult call whichever way you decide to go. The underlying fear for the remaining breast remains with all of us.

I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had the dx I had, but my decision to go all the way with a Mx was mostly to avoid Rads, both for the Se's  and because of my family situation and location a long way from the nearest Rads facility. In making the decision to avoid the Rads and have the Mx, I then brought a SNB into the mix, so here is another "Damned if you do and Damned if you don't"! scenario. (Sorry if that offends) A SNB brings with it, the possibility of other long lasting symptoms and of course the dreaded LE.

I had virtually no pain at all with the Mx, just lots of numness and pins and needles, which  still persists. I still have what I call "The Claw"! That is definitely caused by the SNB, and really only gets bad when I am tired. It feels like I have a very sharp claw that grabs at my chest and underarm. It isn't unbearable, not really pain, just another symptom of what I call the "Surgery of strange Sensations". 

The idea of removing the remaining breast doesn't sit well with me right now, but the removal without a SNB would certainly appeal to me more than  Mx and SNB again.

As I said before, it is early days for me, still getting used to the "New Normal".

Thanks again for the very personal stories.

This was a difficult time for me, having only one breast. I spent 18 months like that until the MRI should that I needed 3 biopsies and I freaaked out. Since I need my hands to work (an artist) and I have mild lymphedema in the cancer-side arm...all I wanted to do was get away from this cancer and preserve my second arm. My doctor said he would remove my breast, remove NO lymph nodes and he would then check the 3 places to find cancer. Well, there was no cancer....so I know I still have a risk of LE in my non cancer side, at least I have all my nodes which makes my odds better.

Whata  tough choice it is, and I will be honest, I never ever stopped thinking about it when I had the one breast, it was always near on my mind...fearing both cancer and Lymphedema.

I haven't even begun treatment and already some friends are asking me what about recon. I feel pretty good right now saying heck no. I don't want them slicing on me any more than is absolutely neccessary. I have it my left side right now, and have every intention of having that one removed completely.

I am glad you started this thread. It helps me to see how everyone else is dealing with these decisions.

Ugh...I've been thinking about this a lot lately, but I feel like I'm being vain and lazy, since it's really only because I want to go braless again (I'm a small .  My prosthetics fit fine and my bras fit great...I just hate them.  One of the posters had a nice idea about the compression cami, though; perhaps I should try that. 

Right now I feel like it's very ugly; worse than no breasts by far.  Perhaps I'll get over it in time; I'm only 2 months post-surgery.  I have no desire to do reconstruction.  My husband hasn't said boo about it either way, but I have a feeling he'd be very against a second "unnecessary" surgery.

Take some time to begin to love your new body again....I do have to say I felt like you, very uncomfortable with one breast, but in my own case, I should have been careful what I wished for because I did lose my other breast 18 months later.

I am very happy being flat, but...it still is a big surgery with healing time. I don't sleep well on either side at times now, and of course while the risk of Lymphedema is very low in my second mastectomy arm, the risk is there. So that is 2 arm compressions when needed.

My "non cancer" mastectomy healed about twice as fast as the cancer side, so that is a plus.

Lots to think about, but my final answer is I stopped the self loathing after I had my second breast removed. but then again, being flat is no big boost to self esteem either...honestly, there are no easy answers here because you can't predict how you will feel to see two scars instead of 1.

I had righty removed almost a year ago and I kind of regret not getting rid of lefty too. I go back and forth all the time thinking I should get reconstruction, but then I read about it and think about the pain and compications that can come with it, and I say nope I'm happy with my prosthetic. Then I start thinking I should have lefty removed,but then I remember how I felt having those drains in me, the compression bra, the giant scar and loss of feeling in that area and I decide to leave it be. I think I will just be a uniboober forever.

I had a nipple-sparing mast & immediate recon in March. Even though everything went "wonderfully" (the path report showed chemo killed the cancer, the nipple and flap survived) and I refused rads (fear of lymphedema since already lost 4 sentinel nodes) recovery has been AWFUL.

I lost so much upper body strength and I can't feel anything in my chest or abdomen. The "foob" is lumpy, malformed and the nipple lost projection. I don't look anything near normal, let alone feel whole. I am sorry I ever had the mastectomy. Living like this for the rest of my life is worse than a shortened life-span. They ( the medical community, so-called support groups) never tell you the quality of your life will never be the same. They seem so much more interested in just keeping you alive, on the planet, a tax-paying citizen, than what your existance will be like after you've been amputated in so many more ways than "just having a tit cut off".