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callfamilycircus
callfamilycircus Member Posts: 4
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
leaving soon. Need help
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  • callfamilycircus
    callfamilycircus Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2013

    My mother has been battling inflammatory breast cancer since 05. She had a mastectomy of her left and had all Sheher lymph nodes removed from her left arm. She had been in remission for 4 years when last summer they found it had matastasized to her brain, spine, and her brachial plexus in her left arm. December she had pulmonary embolism and was admitted to the ICU. I flew up from Maryland (to Wisconsin) because they did not expect her to survive the weekend.



    Well she did, and she was extremely weak for over a month. I decided to stay and bring my 3 school age children. My husband stayed behind to work. I have been here almost 6 months now. I am going home in June.



    My mother has a very large family with 8 siblings. They all live within an hour and only 1 has time to come help out. My mother cannot be left alone. She is back on her feet, but she has fallen a few times and cannot stand back up. She is also on blood thinner so any scratch or bump causes a lot of bleeding.



    My father cannot afford to pay a companion for 12 hours a day. Besides asking friends, are there any other suggestions for help? She will not go to a home. She has a "I've fallen and can't get up" button. But that won't work if she's unconscious.

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited May 2013

    You don't say how old your parents are. Does your dad still work?



    I would make an appointment with the social worker at the medical facility where she has received treatment or even with a probate or elder care attorney. They can help you with resources you may not be aware of. Probate lawyers often serve as guardians for disabled people, so they are often experts at navigating the system. Or maybe even hospice?



    You say she "wont" go to a home but you know it is negligent to leave her alone when she is in danger of getting hurt. Conceivably an ER visit could result in a visit from adult protective services, depending on the state you live in.



    I sympathize with you. My granddad just died at almost 98. We were very fortunate that he could afford round the clock sitters, because he would have had to go to a home otherwise. Even with that, it was getting to the point that it was not enough. He had numerous falls.

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  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited May 2013

    cCheck for volunteers as well. What does the American cancer have, do they belong to a church, check with senior services in the town they live in. is she eligible for home health aides thru her insurance.     My parents lived by themselves longer than I would have preferred.  We pieced together help, what they would allow, and yes there were some mishaps.  When my Mom passed, my Dad insisted in staying in his home and I was able to manage that for about 3 years.  It wasn't fool proof, but it was what he wanted.  The "dignity of risk" can be a very tough call.  Eventually I had to move him to assisted living - he could not afford care 24/7.  It was there that he fell and broke his hip.  So no matter the route you choose or your Mom and Dad choose, what do they want?, there are no guarantees.

    Best of luck  These are very difficult decisions! 

    Be well

    Nel

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  • MelissaDallas
    MelissaDallas Member Posts: 7,268
    edited May 2013

    Another reason to see the lawyer would be if she doesn't have Advance Directive, Will, etc. done.

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited May 2013

    I believe that there are devices that are worn on the person, when if a fall is detected it sends out a signal. If there is no response from the patient, then emergency services would be dispatched.

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