In shock

hi, had a busy day sooooooooooo buggered can hardly keep eyes open.
Play day was such fun but one GD is such a naughty child  I blame her other nana who minds her it is like listening to a grown up not six year old.
Other GD so quiet and well behaved can't believe born only three months later.
DD then says she hates shopping with naughty one  know the feeling !!!!
All done now ,have just eaten veg shepherds pie and mushy peas "parp" excuse me please.
It never hit the sides on the way down ( Mom's saying ) ice cream and strawberries for afters too so wonderful to have appetite back, don't eat loads but enjoy what I have ,and burning pipes  calming every  day.

Alive LOVE the meadow pic, didn't hear you creeping up with your camera ha ha.
It is such a special place started many months ago, reving up to an instalment of our story. Getting myAuthors hat on .xx

Eyes crossing due to lots of yummy dinner and double scotch ( naughty Edi ) don't give a sxxt DH watching some music cxxp so may have a nana nod.

Love to you all, see you tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alive....delegate, delegate, delegate....You are a most important part of the grad day, and you need to keep enough energy reserved for yourself, that you can enjoy it too. He wouldn't have made it without Mom!!!!!

Good morning lovely ladies! xxx

A quick check in this morn before I am off to a Big day here! 

I have also been having my depressed days...like, real bad. Breaking down crying/sobbing. This whole thing has me in knots. I guess I am at the 'why me' stage. Or more likely, the 'why Now' stage. Of course, as we know, there is never a time we would 'want' to be having to face this crap.

My 'reality check' just keeps slapping me extra hard this week. Oh well.... I have to try to hold out through today. Am so proud of DS! I just want my tears today to be of 'joy' for him, and not for my disease.

Better go, liefie, hope you are faring great today! (((hugs))) Websister, Traii, Nihahi, and everyone else, TY again for the 'pick-me-up'! xxxx Am praying for you all!!!

Everyone else, I am so sorry I am behind in my postings, but I AM thinking of you ALL and hoping each of you are ok and giving each day all you got!!! You new ladies, stay strong and come here for anything you may need! I love these ladies with ALL MY HEART! xoxoxoxox

Dear Alive,

You have every reason to feel down/depressed sometimes. We have all been here. There came a time for me after the inital shock had worn off when I could say, why not me, because this disease does not discriminate at all. It is pretty much a random thing as far as I'm concerned. Even if you don't have any of the risk factors, you may still find yourself here. As my son put it, 'Mom, you're a woman. You have boobs. That's your biggest risk factor.' It is so true. Alive, you hang in there today, and enjoy your boy's big day! You are obviously a kind, fun-loving person with a big heart, and a great sense of humour, and you will get through this. We love you too! (((((BIG HUGS!))))

It's just after seven in the morning, and I will be discharged at eleven. The new boobie has to be kept warm, and I feel a bit like a proud mother with a newborn baby. What a long, arduous trek it was to get to this point, but it is all worth it.

Have a good day, everybody!

Just a quick one, since I'm dealing with bone pain (taking Vicodin) and a bit of fatigue - hopefully my last chemo induced down day!



Nihahi, Happy Birthday to your DD! Hope you enjoy the rainy day together. It's my Mum's birthday too (her 82nd) and concerned re: what we're going to do to celebrate, since I'm out of commission at the moment. It's a nice warm day and so far Mum is entertaining herself by tending to my garden. She's also planning to do some baking. Doesn't seem like much of a birthday celebration to me, but counting on DH to come through with quiet dinner and cake on the deck later if I can at least supervise.



Alive, we all have our ups and downs, but hoping today will be a joyful celebration of your DS's graduation!



Liefie, wonderful to hear you sounding so perky this soon after surgery! Had to smile re: your DS's assessment of BC risk factors. Also appreciated how you came to think "Why not me?". This experience certainly has been a life changer and I'm certainly still struggling with how to balance hope and fear going forward.



Back to my nap so hopefully I'll be in shape to celebrate with Mum later. Hugs to all!

Hiya,
You girls are all so lovely.
Movie, no wonder you are stressed holidays no matter to where are all worry ,worry until you get there.You will have a fantastic and well deserved rest. xx

Liefie, you sound amazing it must be that pure air that makes you and Nihahi so fit. Lovely pizza party with the family so well deserved. Home already  ! be gentle with the new boob, lots of lying about all pale and interesting looking lol xx

Nihahi, Happy Birthday to DD.Cake from Edi. Hope you had a lovely day xx

Traii, you take care of yourself, my daughters send their best wishes to you. Hope DS and DH behaving xx

Websister, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Sure all will be fine. Hope your Mom is well, loving this laptop screen like a TV compared to my little net book. DH has kidnapped that as his own, it is bright pink !! his street cred would go down the pan if shedman sees him lol xx

Caitlin, nearly there, sorry you not too good. This too will pass and you will bounce back. I am feeling almost " normal " just two weeks after finish of all treatments much to my surprise. Still get really tired but hey ho par for the course. xx

Alive, I too had the weeps yesterday, washing some pots and pans and couldn't see them for tears, think sometimes a stress buster.
Hope graduation went well, you have every reason to feel proud.
The sisters are right, no rhyme or reason why the Bxxxh chooses any of us but she WILL regret it.
Chin up and keep fighting. xx

Saw shedman today, my DH jet washed his patio for him as it was stressing him out. They were like two little boys laughing and joking like the old days.
Sun was actually shining and his DD brought GD to visit, she is beautiful and smiles whenever she sees Granddad, joy to watch and he is besotted.
She is his reason to get well.
My BC buddy back from her med cruise so coffee and photos tomorrow.

Allof you keep safe and rest. Love you ALL xxxx

Yeh for liefie home and resting...(and enjoying being fussed over by Ds)..take it while u can!!

Love love love your pic....you are looking great.



Edi be sure to say hi to your DDs from me x



Happy Bday to Caitlins mom and Nihahis DD.x



hi to all you girls...on phone and fingers numb again ;(



Check in later.



Dakota too much partying on weekend?? Lol

Hello lovlies!

maria, dakota.... what's going on girls?????

liefie, LOVE new avatar! You beauty! Glad your last couple of days w/family were so fulfilling. Always hate to see 'em go though.... getting 'spoiled' only takes a little bit for me, and I relish every minute of it! Hope you are feeling ok, and are not going to try to overdo...xx

Nihahi, hope DD had a wonderful Bday rain and all! TY too for your kindness!!! xx

Traii, TY hon for your kind words of encouragement! Hope you had a nice weekend! xx

Edi, you will come to my house one day and show me how to make these FABULOUS cakes of yours??? heehee, This is my official invite...my goodness, I am always salivating when I see them TY too for being there with a kind word! You are a blessing! xx

movie, gettin ready for your trip are you? All the details and such can be fun, but daunting. Maybe not for you, but I would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off lol...Hope you are feeling better and better each day!

websister, TY! I did enjoy today SO MUCH! You have a graduate too this Wednesday was it?... Sounds as if you had an enjoyable day with Mom...lunch and shopping....my kind of day! xx Sleep well, and pain free!

caitlin, Hope your Mom had a wonderful Bday as well! My Mom turned 88 this yr! How did they like their 'supervisor'? Hope your se's let up and you feel better ((hugs)) TY for being there for me! xx

Iceburg! Do touch base with us! Thinking of you and gentle (((hugs)))... AND to you too staycalm!! Let us know how you are, ok? (((hugs)))

jennie, luvmy, scottiee...Thinking of you ladies! xxx Anyone else I missed, sending thoughts and prayers to you!xx

Today was wonderful, to say the least! Started kind of off kilt, but soon the sun was shining and 500people later he got to cross the stage!!! He was grinning ear to ear, LOL, as was I! Just love him so much!!! God gave me such wonderful young men to be proud of! Only negative was 92degrees, it was outside in direct sun for nearly 3-1/2hrs. so a little burnt, but worth it!

Thank You all for helping me 'up'. It is too easy to 'fall' right now. I know this sh** doesn't discriminate, but the 'why me' thing does dart across the mind. I just try not to let it set up camp, lol. So when the tears flow, and flow, and.... I am finished w/my pity party, I get up and pull my big girl pants on, and say, SCREW this! There is life left in me, and I am going to beat the snotgrass out of this!!!! 

Have a good evening ladies! Love and hugs, prayers, and thoughts... xoxoxox You ALL are THE Best!

To all sisters in need of a giggle today. xx

Alive, LOVE your pic xx

Hi all you girls,

What a kind bunch of people you are! I consider myself so privileged to be part of this specific group. Thanks for all the well wishes and encouragement. You all certainly make my life brighter and sunnier every day.

Alive, 'I'm going to beat the snotgrass out of this ' -LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! That's too funny, but atta girl! That's a wonderful attitude! So happy you enjoyed your son's graduation, and that you sound so good. Yes, there are down days, but they do pass, and then we soldier on again. We will be here for you, no matter what!

Edi, where do you find all the wonderful pictures? Some are so funny, some are profound, but they are always just what we need. So glad shedman is doing okay, and that his precious little baby granddaughter keeps him going - it makes me tear up.

Websister, the boys left at 4.30 am this morning to catch the 6.20 ferry to the mainland. I did not get up. DH made coffee, and they came to say good bye to me in bed. So sad to see them go again so soon! Like Alive said, we just love them so much. But DD is coming later this week - yayyy!!! Glad you could spend some quality time with your mom in Nihahi's neck of the woods - I'm sure she strolled by, ice-cream in hand, and camera at the ready!

Nihahi, belated congrats on DD's birthday. Hope you all had a wonderful time together! First night home was not as restful as in hospital with kids leaving so early, but I will catch plenty of naps today, and just planning a quiet day in or near my bed. Will do some slow walking around the bed just for good measure. I'm also surprised that I'm almost upright, and not really hunched over. Will take that as a good sign - lol.

Traii, thanks for the kind words. This is the first time that I actually have an avatar. Kids helped me yesterday to get it organized. That photo was taken as I was re-united with the Siamese princess after my hospital stay. She was all over me, purring and so happy to have her human slave back - lol. Unfortunately she is banned from the bedroom for the next little while. I'm too scared she will jump on the bed, and land on my brand new 'asset', or on my tummy. At this stage I will take off through the roof like a rocket if that happens. She is not impressed to say the least - lol.

Movie, by now you probably have everything sorted out for the Japan trip? How many swimsuits? Lol. Don't sweat the small stuff, just go for it and enjoy! Wish one of my kids would go and live there so I can visit . . . it is a fascinating culture.

All you other girls, I hope you are well. Caitlin, hope those last cycle SE's are abating, and that you are beginning to feel human again. A very good Monday to you all!

Hello ladies,

I hope today was grand for all of you.

Sorry I had a very busy weekend. Bestie day on friday followed by going to my brothers pool league after. He conned me into joining, it was fun but I'm not so good.

Saturday my DD compeated in a gymnastics meet. She trained 10 years when she was younger and now coaches.She hadn't compeated in 5 years, it was such a treat to watch her and she did an amazing job 2nd place all around.

Liefie- super happy you are doing so well. Let your family pamper you lots.

Alive- I hope today finds you emotionally better, I went through the same thing would cry and sob at a moments notice. It has gotten better now that I know the proccess, it's all so overwhelming.

Edi- love your posts as usual you hit he nail on the head.

Caitlin- I hope your bone pain has eased up on you.

Movie- All ready to go?

Iceberg- hope you check in soon so we know your ok

Traii, Websis,Dakota,nahahi and all you other lovely ladies thinking of you all.

Hi Nihahi! So exciting that you and Websister might have rubbed shoulders at Cora's!? Yes, I had a lovely nap in the downstairs 'nest' this afternoon with DH sleeping there too - poor man is just totally exhausted after the busy weekend. Last heard from the yellow Camaro at 12.30 when they were in Kamloops. Thanks for the update - guess they can't be too far from Edmonton now. They slept so little last night, and younger brother will stay over with older one tonight, and drive to Calgary early tomorrow. They are grown men, but we still worry for their safety, don't we? You will really enjoy this. A friend just dropped off dinner here - OXTAIL stew! I can't wait to get my teeth into that . . . LOL.

Love your beautiful comment to Alive about your adopted children - actually brought tears to my eyes. And totally agree about her being an incredible woman. I'm learning so much on this thread with all you wonderful people here. You're one heck of a woman yourself, Nihahi!

Just got an update - they've just left Jasper. Another 3 - 4 hours.

Bellies....took a detour to DIEP thread...should have started here......



Nihahi, you must have cyber ESP...have been uber-stressed.....DD#4 suffers from stage 4 endometriosis (not kidding, that is what they call it) and has been really ill since this weekend.....her symptoms have irritated her IBD (the two diseases are often seen together) and she is bedridden right now due to the pain......honestly, I would trade my feeling better if only she could feel normal again, whatever the hell that is...... . Just hard to feel good about leaving when this is going on.....



Feel exhausted, but wanted to tell you ladies how much I love and appreciate you all....you seriously keep me sane.....



Will try to post tomorrow......love you all....XO



Namaste and God bless - Jackie



PS....this is the only place I can let my hair down.....XO

Hi,
All on my own, yippee !! DH on shift until this afternoon so I am catching up with Criminal Minds and Bones. You people in America have such fantastic programmes.
Had coffee and two hour catch up with BC buddy yesterday afternoon, then quiet peaceful mooch around the local shops, bliss.
Slept eight hours !!!! think this is defo why I feel good, lack of sleep so horrid.

Liefie, glad you like pics etc, they are from facebook and lots via our Carla on there.They do seem to pop up when needed .
You sound incredible, sad boys had to go but at least they were there for you and your son escorting you everywhere made me tear up.
Nice you and DH caught up on sleep, DD next yay.
Oxtail stew, wow send me some please. Eating like a horse at moment, don't want weight I was before as now only 2 pounds heavier than when we wed, and sure that also why I am feeling good. The bxxxh did me a couple of favours lol. Nails and teeth much stronger and bowel problem I have had for 42 years now no more. TMI but suffice to say can't believe it has gone, yippee.xx

Alive, Thanks for sharing with us, foster Mom so special and has made you the lovely lady you are today. Love is all a flower needs to blossom.
We have all sprayed computers with coffee lol may invent little pull down awning for when on here ha ha.
We are all glad you found us, you are a ray of sunshine each day.
Good luck with the planting xx

Maria, you must be pooped. Good to have something but this sxxt to do and think about. Feet up time now.xx

Nihahi, you tinker you !! Brilliant idea re pic of happiness with pink netbook ha ha, Will take one soon and when I find out how to post on this laptop way hey.
A lot of times foster and adopted Mom's are better than the real ones, mine and DH's had sooo many issues from their own childhoods that parenting came as a bit of a shock to them. My Mom would flinch if I ever needed a hug and Dad thought abusing verbally etc was a normal thing. Your children struck gold when they found you and DH.xx

Websister,How exciting that you have a graduation too. England starting to follow, but normallly only happens on leaving University here.
Hope pain easing xx

Caitlin, hope se's subsiding, had two visitis from Johny flippin cash this morning, bit of a shock but shows not quite back to " normal " yet. lol xx

Movie, gosh dear friend no wonder you are stressed about going away. Hope DD improves soon.xx

Will have to move my butt in a minute, have just eaten choc marshmallow so will have to burn off sugar by doing some housework
Had fab bit of news last night, Ed had an interview for her now retired bosse's job and SHE GOT IT !! Knew she would but she has no confidence in her own abilities, her presentation blew them away.
Her builders have completed so just decoration and new kitchen being fitted by FIL then they can move home.
Life is good.

Love you ALL xxxx

For those of us who are weary xx