I have IBC and a question to ask

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EllenMac
EllenMac Member Posts: 2

First off, I should give you guys some info about myself. Even though, I know alot about you guys. I have been coming to this forum for almost a year now, reading but never posting. I'm not that good in writing much of anything. So please bare with me. I might misspell words and my sentences may not be worded right but here goes.

 I am a 43 year old single mother of three, son 21, daughter 19, and a daughter 2. Yes, you read right I just have another kid just two years ago. She is my heart, a surprise at first but now I have learnt that she is much more than that, only a month after she turned one. Around April 11, 2012 I noticed my breast was bigger than the other, nipple inverted in, red and hot to touch so I called my doctor to make appointed to get it checked. When I was in her office I noticed how she was looking at me and making phones calls on her cell phone right there in the room with me. The next following days consit of mammogram, body scans, biopsy on left breast, and within a week I was told I had cancer and it was IBC. God those words hit me hard. I was holding my baby in my lap while my doctor told me the news. Oh..... at that moment I began questioning god's reasons, if cancer was the path that was choosen for me than why after all them years have me to bring another life into the world, only for me leave her here alone so soon. Now I know why she was given to me later in life. She is my strength, she is apart of my cancer treatment, and she is the reason I stayed strong and recovered from all of that so fast. I know that it was because of her I made it this long. The doctors told me everything that I needed to do to take care of myself during chemo, surgery, and radiation. It was all her, she was the reason I coped, she was my pain reliever, she was my support, and she was my strenght and still is. But even after her being there for me when I needed someone, to think that  I might not be there for her later in life when she needs someone. It hurts so bad to think of that. Sometimes, when she is asleep at night I just hold her and cry. I am her mother, I'm the one that is suppose to get her ready for her first day of kindergarden, help her with her homework, talk to her about boys, and teach her about life lessons. Just to think I may not be the one doing these things just hurts so much. Since I did not have to work because I was able to get disabitily, we are never apart. It's like we need each other to breath. She does not want to be with noone else but me. My sisters try to get her to spend the night with them to give me a break. We just can't do it, we both break out crying. I just can't seem to let her go and be apart from me, neither can she.

Sorry about the ranting. My question is has anyone with IBC and being triple negative lived to be NEd for five years? I have noticed since coming to this forum that there are some women with IBC and being postive for estrogen receptor, progesterone receptor, and her-2 have made it to the 5 year mark. Maybe some hope will help. I would also like to thank both Bonnie and Terri for all the great info. I've learn more from these two ladies than I have my own doctors.

Comments

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited March 2013

    Ellen,

    It's nice to meet you.  As you know I'm ER+ & going on 4 years this June.  I'm sure there is a reason you are here for this child.  Take a day at a time and enjoy every day with your precious daughter.  I've been on this site for 3 years and those with ibc are surviving longer than first anticipated.  I wish you many healthy years with your family.

    Terri

  • Sherlocked
    Sherlocked Member Posts: 46
    edited March 2013

    Yes, Ellen, I know more than one person who is triple negative IBC and has passed the five year mark without even a recurrence. 

    Everything you're feeling is totally normal.  I know this is very hard and I struggle with it myself and especially when I think about my own small children, but try very hard not to worry about a future that may never happen more than you absolutely have to make necessary plans should something happen to you.  There is no preparing for a diagnosis, recurrence, or progression of IBC and all the worrying in the world wouldn't make such news any easier...you can only ruin today by worrying about what might happen tomorrow.  Try to enjoy today and push the bad thoughts away as much as possible.  Remember you have had a lot of physical trauma in the last 8 months and this depresses our emotions too...so be easy on yourself, and kind to yourself.  At the very least, give yourself a break every day of at least an hour when you just won't entertain any bad thoughts.  You are doing great and living your life through extraordinary challenges; hang in there and be proud of yourself. 

  • Marianne52
    Marianne52 Member Posts: 78
    edited March 2013

    Hi Ellen,

    I am also IBC Triple negative. I know of many Women who have lived well past 5 years.

    There have been some that have reached 20 years. I plan on being one of those Women. God Bless you and your Family.

  • Amyjomorrison
    Amyjomorrison Member Posts: 1
    edited April 2013

    I was diagnosed with stage IIIC TNIBC in Jan 2010. Did 6 months of FEC chemo, bilateral mastectomy in Aug., twice a day radiation from Sep to Oct in 2010. Then another seven months of chemo after a 2 inch mass appeared in my brain and was removed. My only symptoms were major headaches! Went to MD Anderson from the beginning, at the time it was the only IBC clinic in the U.S. ( to my knowledge) They performed a craniotomy July 17, 2011 and removed the mass. My brain surgeon, who I love dearly gave me 6 months - 1 year! I was 31 at the time with two very small children but a tremendous amount of family support. I also developed blood clots in my left leg and lungs before my brain surgery and continue to stay on blood thinner injections to this day and also have an IVC port, double cautious!!

    There were also two new spots that came up behind my sternum that were then treated with the six mo of chemo, I stated above-post craniotomy, and two types of chemo pills. It's now been almost a year and a half since my brain surgery and I have beat all statistics! I continue with a brain clinical trial at MD And and get MRI's every 3-4 months of brain and Pets of my chest, abdomin & pelvis. Speaking to oncologist currently about getting on some preventive chemo/treatment due to the high rate of reoccurrence. My Dr.'s tell me I am a miracle and continue to believe so for the sake of my family and children. It is very easy to get into your head...down deep, but I choose to remain positive and for the most part don't read research and statistic stories, only positive and inspirational ones that give me that extra push to continue on fighting this major nightmare I have yet to wake up from!! There is hope and I believe I will beat this as I hope all of you all do too! Please feel to reach out to me for support or questions!

  • AlaskaAngel
    AlaskaAngel Member Posts: 1,836
    edited April 2013

    Hi Amyjomorrison,

    My older sister had early stage IDC 15 years ago that has never recurred, and she never did chemo or the hormonal treatment recommended. My signature tells my story of early stage bc, and the treatment I chose to do and the treatment I chose not to do. My older sister was diagnosed with IBC 3 years ago and did chemo and is doing hormonal treatment for that, and has not had recurrence of either IBC or IDC.

    I believe there is hope too, and that whether or not one gets any benefit from various treatments remains a gamble.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2013

    I'm a triple neg IBC survivor of 9 years with no recurrence. It's definitely possible.

  • trudy-erl
    trudy-erl Member Posts: 38
    edited May 2013

    Hi:  I need some opinions, please. I was told the 5-year mark does not apply to IBC......Did anybody else hear the contrary from their oncologist? I simply don't trust written articles, I need the info. by someone who has been there.

    If it is the 5 year mark, wow I'd be dancing the happy dance  :-)

    Thank you in advance.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2013

    I was told the opposite from my oncologist. She said once I hit 5 years that my odds became the same if not better than other diagnosis. She felt that after 5 years, it was unlikely for IBC to reoccur. Only time will tell.

  • trudy-erl
    trudy-erl Member Posts: 38
    edited May 2013

    Hi Always Hope: 

    Thank you for your reply. This is what I find somewhat frusterating....I think you could ask the same question to 8 Oncologists and get 7 different answers.

    I'm so hoping you got the correct one.....thank you again, I appreciate it very much.

    If someone has a concrete opinion on this, please help out.

    Many Hugs to each one of you,

    trudy

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