I am so confused about my symptoms…

It sounds like you have a frozen shoulder. I developed that too after rads. I would go to my PCP and start with an xray/mri. Frozen shoulder is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. They gave a shot of cortison to help break up the scar tissue and then I had physical therapy for a few weeks to get a functional range of motion back.

Thank you, I'm just scared I guess.  My body feels like I have aged 30 years in the past 6 months or so.

Really?  I wasn't going to complain about my walking problems or steps because I didn't want to sound like a crybaby.  Don't take this the wrong way please but it is a comfort to know someone else had the same.  I even went through a phase that I couldn't speake correctly.  I knew what I wanted to say, but I could not think of the words.  I sounded like an idiot to me.  Friends thought I had a stroke.  Hospital said no stroke.  Onc said possible Para Neoplastic Syndrome maybe and he is still not convensed that I don't have it.  I don't understand it at all.  My understanding is very slow still.  I've had 3 lumbar punctures in or around about Dec and Jan.  They were clear.  At that time, I was just having a little pain in my left shoulder, not bad.  My thyroid stopped working about November if I remember correctly.  I get dizzy sometimes too.  I just don't want to come off to my Onc like a whimp.  He says that I have been through alot and that I shouldn't think that way.  I was alergic to much of my meds, and sometimes put off my symptoms to that fact.

God love your heart!!!  How long before you were able to go back to work?  They don't even want me to drive yet?  I'm 58.  Come this Halloween it will be two year since my diagnosis.  How do you count? From diagnosis or end of treatment?  Believe it or not, I do ask my Onc these questions, but I can never remember most of his replies...  It makes me feel like an idiot.  I used to have a good job as a computer operator and worked for a mental health institution.  I was constantly working on making inprovements in the billing and medical records areas of the mainframe.  Now, I've lost my job because I couldn't work a minimum of 40 hours so now I have no insurance.  I have seen better days all around.  It is encouraging to hear that it does get better.  It was a month 1/2 before I started my radiation treatments after chemo and I worried that the mets would go elsewhere besids the lymph nodes.  My little "F" pill is supposed to stop the cancer from growing, but I still worry everytime I have a pain.

I worked full time through treatment. I couldn't afford not to as my health insurance is tied to the job. However, I did get laid off in 2009 due to the economy and now work as a contractor. I was fortunate during treatment that I did have an understanding supervisor and wonderful coworkers who helped alot. I was a bit younger though. I was diagnosed at 44 years. If I ever get diagnosed again, I know that I will not work full time again. It was hard to do.

I think I’m nervous about my CT tomorrow.  I’m normally not a negative person.  I feel like I’ve made a bad impression of myself.  Cancer makes me so angry!!!!!  I don’t piss and moan outside of this site….  Aren’t we lucky!!!!!!!  haha

Gritgirl, do you find yourself a little nervy a few days before a visit to the oncologist?  First thing they do is check my blood.  My WBC has been as low as point 3 and they smack my rear in the hospital.  It hasn’t made it back up to 4.6 yet and I think that may have a little to do with my concern. 

I don’t know if you’ll see this before your scans tomorrow, but much luck to you and I’ll say a pray for you.  Virtual Scans…… That cracked me up!  I won’t find out anything probably until the 31^st of this month.  The waiting is the PITS!!!!!  I truly think God is trying to teach me more patience through this.  Lord knows you sure do have to have tons and tons of patience.  I have tons of patience with everything and everyone except for myself.  Haha  

I have the BIG EYE and can’t sleep.  Insomneia is just another side effect of my meds.  If it says it’ll make me drousy, you can darn well bet that it will give me the BIG EYE.  My Oncologist laughs and says that I am a very unique person and he has never seen anyone quite like me.  Haha  I make the best of whatever I have to go through and deal with for the most part.  For instance….. I have nick named all of my meds….  Anything for nausea is called Big stomach pill or Little stomach pill.  Hormone pill is The Fix-It pill, Thyroid pill is just as it is, Thyroid pill.  Depression pill is called Happy Pill.  Anxiety pill is called smiley pill (I only take those on rare occasion because I’m normally smiling all the time)  You piss me off and I pop a smiley pill.  I’ve had no pain meds since my surgery in Nov of 2011.  Didn’t even take a whole bottle.  This just goes to show you how I can tolerate pain.  But this crap is getting so old.  Going on two years I’ve not been able to drive, walk my two beast Bonnee and Klyde (2 spunky black labs)  I love them dearly and want to pitch Frisbee for them and can’t because it makes my arms worse.  They know something is wrong with mama.  They stay right by my side and sniff my chest, arms and breath everyday.  Kinda strange, but Klyde started sniffing my chest 6 months before I was diagnosed.  I thought he was just looking for crumbs.  All through chemo he had to lay across my lap or he was not happy.  He was so pitiful.  But he knew I was one sick puppy!  He weighs 132 lbs. and he thinks he is a lap dog.  Bonnee always stares in my eyes for long periods of time.  She didn’t do that until just a few months ago. 

Well, it’s obvious that I’m going to be up all night.  I wonder if anyone will see this?

I’ve been reading up on this Frozen Shoulder deal.  Seems I do have all the symptoms and then some.  I also have dull burning pain between the shoulder and elbow and between the elbow and wrist.  It doesn’t say anything about that at all???