DIEP 2013
Comments
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liefie - I can not answer for the TE, but I did have implants. Yes, as soon as I was less drugged I knew that they were gone. About 3 - 4 weeks after surgery, I suddenly realized that there was no longer an iron bra wrapping around my chest. My prophy side has full ROM. My cancer side does not, though I work on it all the time. When I had my MX years ago, they did a modified radical which included taking some muscle. Then I got frozen shoulder. I have much more now than I originally did and think my ROM will improve with time.
Robin- if you continue to see the cancer everywhere (very normal), do ask your internist for some meds to help. Zoloft has worked very well for me on anxiety issues. You can drive yourself crazy trying to follow every recommendation to stave off cancer, but you have done the most important thing. Getting cancer is not your fault. This is a great opportunity to teach your kids about healthy grains, fruit, veggies, lean meat and fish. Plant a garden. Find things that divert your attention and most of all don't over think things. As my DH says "your mind can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. which are you going to choose".
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Robin, when I was first diagnosed in October 2011, my weight went into free-fall. I lost thirty pounds in just a couple of months, and I was convinced it was CANCER. Like you, everywhere I looked, every morsel of food I put in my mouth, every news article I read, everywhere was cancer. It was a dark, miserable place.
I asked my oncologist about it, and she said, it's NOT cancer, you are depressed. She prescribed an SSRI antidepressant (Paxil, and there are many others) and the relief was remarkable. I still have to use my mental "delete" button, and make conscious decisions to put my days in God's hands, but I'm grateful for the pharmaceutical science that helped me through the darkness.
I enjoyed reading everyone's experience with drains and dog ears. I had terrible, flapping dog ears on my mastectomy incision and had to live with them for a year. My breast surgeon knew I'd be going for recon and she was trying to save as much skin as she safely could, but wow, did it look awful. No dog ears on my tummy incision corners; the drains came out my pubic area and have left little scars that look like I have eyes in my crotch. AND...(I know this is TMI)...they pulled my lady bits forward and so tight that I have to develop new callouses on my bike-riding parts. I haven't been sore DOWN THERE after riding a bike for a long, long time, but I sure am now!
It's a beautiful morning in Ventura County! Have a great one, girls--Katy
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Catie, I love your canvas analogy and will use it on the future
perfectly said !!
Katy, you had me rolling, you are one funny lady)
Some days are better than others, hope this one is a good one for all) -
Thanks, Marty! Looking forward to the iron bra being gone. Have had the TE in for 15 months now. Not too bad, but want to feel my old, natural self again. Hope you ROM keeps improving!
sbelizabeth, you had me in stitches with your comment about the eyes in your crotch, and the moved lady bits having to develop new callouses - too funny! LOLLOLLOL!!!
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Catie love love love that analogy !
Robin I understand your feelings just remember there is sunshine on the horizon. Up days and down days but don't be afraid to ask for meds to help or maybe see a counselor. You are not a freak your feelings are perfectly normal and valid. The recommendation I got personally today was to call a counselor
who knows maybe it'll help. It is so important though that you know that you didn't cause it and it is not your fault.
I have two tumors on my thyroid that are quite large one is noticeable from just looking at my neck so here I go again I guess right ? And I will talk to my doctor about following up with the spot found on my liver soon ... never ending but I'll never quit I tell ya this really does make us stronger. Just a little sick of it.
Crs Hahaha ! T-rex arms ..accurate description from what I remember of the first 2-3 weeks !
Sbelizabeth I needed that laugh ! Lol eyes and lady parts ... -
Crs and anyone else on this DIEP journey there are at least two songs I love to hear daily to pick me up when I'm down
1. "Carry On" by a group called Fun.
2. "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys
I called them my theme songs ..weird but it got me through it along with the support of you ladies. -
Robin, I too, went to a dark place and found myself very unhappy. I was sitting at the movies with some girlfriends and they were laughing hysterically. I was sitting there and hadn't even cracked a smile. Long story short.....I got on Celexa and began to see a cancer counselor. I fought both of these things for a while until I realized I was not being fair to my DH. What a different place I am in now. Happy to get up in the morning, less time thinking about cancer, and I just don't sweat the small stuff. It's hard to take those first few steps. I remember telling DH that I DON"T NEED TO TALK TO ANYONE!!!!! WHAT WOULD I SAY? That was a few years ago and the couselor can't shut me up. LOLThis is a hard and long journey but things will get better and you will find your new normal and have joy back in your life. Hang in there. Big Hugs, Jamie
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CRS,
I also had my surgery with Dr Kline at East Cooper.
I had 12 hour surgery on Wednesday and on Friday evening the nurses helped me take a shower and wash my long hair. I had a shower every day after while in hospital. I was in for 5 nights for different complications.
I'm very surprised nurse did not help with shower and hair wash. But I dont know timeline on when your flap started having trouble resulting in another trip to OR.
A shower chair and hand held shower wand is nice, but you can lean your head sideways in shower while still keeping the T Rex pose with your arms to wash hair.
Hope you get better each day with support of your DH and Dr K. Maybe we will meet someday in Charleston. I have two more surgeries. Blessings! -
janetm,
Lol V funny! - the basset hound ears! can you imagine? presenting that to the surgeon. i think I have a better understanding of what they are now and nothing to be overly concerned about.
here, we have access to a workshop about breast recon and I am going on it next week. Apparently, the surgeon who will see to mine is utterly charming! So, I will look forward to that. I saw on another thread that such a medic was referred to as Dr McDreamy. I thought that very funny!
HHcats, I totally agree about these awful feelings that come up about recurrance. It's too too horrid to think about. Today, I was told by a breast nurse that it is much more likely that your average woman will succumb to heart disease rather than recurrance of bc. Hold, that thought.......
i am currently being investigated for some cyst thing on my ovary, that is freakin me out too.....
But, we have lovely weather here in Yorkshire, so I will try to enjoy that instead. Otherwise my brain will start hurting....
Congrats, to everyone who is out the other side and lighting the way for those of us to follow.
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Thank you to everyone who has responded to my posting. I am currently on Wellbutrin and take Clonazapam for anxiety. After I came home from the grocery store, I took a clonazapam and that and taking to my husband seemed to calm me down. I then went out and signed up for the Peer Support Program through the Cancer Society here. I took a long nap and that helped, too.
During chemo, I spoke with the counselor at the centre. She told me I was just like everyone else who walked through the doors. It wasn't exactly helpful. So I am hoping the Peer Support Program provides me with a "match" who can help. Since my diagnosis, I am down close to 18lbs. I lost close to 15lbs in the first month. Then it fluctuated for a while and then when I started chemo - I lost weight again. Now with DIEP - I'm down some more.
This afternoon I had a good chat with one of my best friends. And then anotehr friend showed up with Godiva chocolate. I told her I was freaked out about eating the right stuff and she told me it doesn't get any "righter" than Godiva! She also brought me a beautiful angel statue.
MartyJ- you are correct. To try to follow everything that is recommended is madness. I know I have already done the most important parts - the chemo, the scans and the surgery.
Katy- my husband, best friends and countless other consider my Stage 2 aggressive cancer being found a miracle. It was a complete fluke. If that doesn't say I have Someone watching over me . . . it really was a miracle because too many things had to happen for it to be found. I went to a private health care clinic here in Ontario, got a clean bill of health and a clean mammo. However, because it was my first mammo - someone thought i should get a baseline ultrasound. The ultrasound picked it up. I later had a radiologist ask me how I ever found it (I didn't) because it was so deep inside of me. Even he called it a miracle it was found. When people tell me that this is a miracle, I wonder what I am supposed to do with it. I really feel that I need to do SOMETHING but what that is hasn't appeared to me just yet. I pray about it all the time. My husband's take is that I am supposed to go back to doing what I was doing - raising our three kids and living a good life. He thinks I got my second chance without even knowing I needed it.
Nihahi - thank you for the lovely comments and book recommendation.
I know I missed a few of you. Thank you so much - you continue to get me through this crazy time.
Robin
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Robin, I know what you mean by the miracle thing. I'd had a normal mammo in June, and the last day in September, I stepped out of the shower and noticed a pink spot on my breast, about the size of a silver dollar. Looking VERY carefully with a magnifying mirror, I noticed a slight orange peel texture in the pink spot, which sent me screaming to my gyno. By then, of course, the pink spot was pretty much faded since I'd cooled off from the shower, and there was nothing to see. Nevertheless, she said, if you saw something, we're going to follow it up, and sent me for a mammo and ultrasound, where they found my 0.8 cm tumor. When the lumpectomy found it had moved into my lymph nodes we were all astonished, and kicked the cancer treatment into high gear.
I'm so glad you had your own miracle. And I'm glad you'll be matched with a partner who's been there and can share this journey with you. One day at a time...
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Would really like to meet the charleston crew sometime. Dr. Kline said this is the first complication of its type he's had. Apparently my pec muscle had a bleeder and it caused a golf ball hematoma that was compromising venous return.
On an entirely different note, let me implore you all to drink miralax and colace. I can laugh now but 45 minutes ago I thought I would need to activate ems. Lol. What a funny but awful situation. This operation does not leave much dignity in the early days.
I am taking my tired, sore, bruised ego and T. rex arms to bed Tommorows another day:) -
My first time around ( 10 years ago) nothing was picked up on mammo, but I thought I felt a thickening. They then did an ultrasound and thought they saw something. Cancer. Last year my mammo was normal, but I had a tender area. Another ultrasound revealed pre cancer. I have always found things myself. I feel blessed. That is why I went with the PBMX.
My Stage 2b is Friday and I am in a much better place than I was even one week ago. This has been quite a journey that is nearing a finish. Working on the donor site area this time and more fat grafting in the Fall. Thanks for asking Nihahi. All packed, at hotel tomorrow, surgery Friday, back to hotel for a couple of days. Dr. Massey will come and check on me right at the hotel. If she says I can go on Sunday I will jump at the chance. -
CRS,
I know you're hurting but your humor is great!
Dr Kline prescribes miralax and colace along with list of meds on the Rx they mail you several weeks ahead of time. He says start it two days before surgery. I know you were last minute scheduled in for active cancer do so they might have left out that bit of advice. I seriously was thinkin i needed ER too after no BM for a week after BMX surgery elsewhere.
Are you on pain meds still? I was for a long time so i had a daily cocktail of Gatorade and the Rx miralax "single serving" packet mixed in.
PM me when you are getting closer to back to normal, whatever that is.
Or please visit Charleston Bound thread to meet other patients who travel there for recon surgery. I also had a few one of a kind complications during all my surgeries, and I thank God I was in the best of hands with Dr Kline. -
Gini, I also took your daughter's survey, thanks for the opportunity to help her out.
Ann -
CRS - now you know the secret! Another option is to eat prunes. I brought them to the hospital for Stage 1 and had some at home for Stage 2. And yes, I also did the miralax/colace thing. If you need anything, simply PM me. I am on the Isle of Palms.
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Marty, silly me didn't know a year ago for stage 1 that Isle of Palms is just about 7 miles from Mt Pleasant. So, just in case CRS - Marty is very close and truly means it when she says to ask her!
Now I know how close and how beautiful Isle of Palms is (great beach)! -
Faith, Wintersocks.....more "spots to worry about" CRAP!!!! Hang in there...love the "never quit" attitude.
Cherrie....so great to hear that you're "in a better place" now. I'm sure you'll be well cared for, and this time next week, you'll be back home and closer to "done"!
sbelizabeth.....I read your message while out walking....I sat on a bench and howled with laughter!!!! Tears streaming down....happy tears this time. It's gonna take some doing to get the "eyes in my crotch" thought under control! Thanks also for your PM's! Means alot. ((((x))))
Liefie...I'm very similar to MartyJ. Had a radical mastectomy years ago when it was a more "radical" surgery. As you know, ended up with shoulder issues and capsular contractures too. Went into diep surgery with a "deformed" implant. Even still deeply drugged, sleep deprived and nauseous....my first and continuing impression was/is....this looks pretty darn good!!! Immediate "difference" in feeling between an alien boob and the new "all me" breast. The real breast, that had an implant removed and then was lifted, looked/looks pretty good too! Tummy was flat right out of surgery, and has stayed the same. Not one, regret, none!!!!! You're gonna do great!
HHCats.....love your friends response about the chocolate.....AND SHE'S RIGHT! Hope things are a bit easier for you tonight.
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Good evening, ladies!
My what a roller coaster of emotions we all are. From tears to laughter in brief moments. One woman waking up from her crossing over, another getting ready for her long nap. Who needs HBO?
Robin - I will return PM you. Glad to hear you sounding a little better.
Faith - I will meet with Dr C on 5/23 for Stage 2 discussion, so I'll let you know how that goes. I've been wondering if he'll first ask me what I want, or first give me his suggestions. So far we have only discussed the blob under my arm and my dog ears. My take on the dog ears is that I had love handles before, so now where the incision ends and the drains went in and the love handles are smaller, the skin is left kind of flappy there.
I felt amazing getting the TEs out! Very noticeable. No more iron bra. Better ROM. My pec muscle was no longer stretched and uncomfortable.
Walking is not only a great way to get back in shape, it reduces your risk of recurrence! (That's one for us, Robin!)
So normal to be wiped out after what seems like minor activity. I'm 8 weeks out and though I am go-go-going, I still need to find some breaks in my day to put my feet up, or close my eyes, or just breathe. And that's ok. That's probably how we should be all the time.
On that note, thank you all for the responses to Olivia's survey! It is pretty clear, at least from our own perspectives, that most survivors attribute one contributing cause to their cancer being related to stress of some kind. There is of course some scientific evidence to back this up in regards to cortisol and suppression of the immune system, killer T cells, etc. So now if someone had said to you, "Slow down, sister, or you might get cancer..." would you have listened before?
Somewhere I read a theory about the many things in our world that can contribute to cancer (toxins, hair prodcuts, pollution, foods, etc etc) that referred to the cancer "hits" on our bodies every day. I've been trying to find it again.... The question is what are we doing to balance out those hits to keep our bodies healthy and not succumb to the cancer that is likely in everyone's body? What is the difference between someone whose immune system attacks and gets rid of the cancer, and someone whose cancer wreaks havoc on our lives? IMO, there is a lot to be said for lifestyle and habits. No I'm not saying we did this to ourselves, but that we CAN learn from this. I thought I was eating healthy. I thought I was relatively active. But there was - and still is - room for improvement. And I plan to be here for a long time to come, practicing my new life skills.
Not sure how I got off on that soap box. Perhaps from looking over the survey results with Olivia.
Hugs to all!
Jeannie -
It's good to hear you are all doing well. My preop is not scheduled until 4 days before my surgery so I'm a little worried that I won't know everything I should be doing ahead of time. I'm starting a list of your advice. Then, I'll e mail my PS at the beginning of June. My surgery is June 24.
I was reading the thread on DIEPs with tummy issues. They were talking about not being able to keep their pants up post diep and their shape being kinda of weird. Bulges etc. Have any of you experienced any of this? -
Having trouble understanding why not being able to keep your pants up is a bad thing.... no I'm not trying to be fresh - but wouldn't that just mean it's time for smaller pants??
Jeannie -
Well that does sound like a good thing. I was kind of confused!
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What thread were you reading? I was swollen in hospital, and for the first few days at home, which adds up to about 10 days. Since then, all my old pants fit great, if not better than before! I definitely have a defined waist along with a flat tummy. No upper ab bloating issues either, though I have heard that was an issue for some. I was not required to by my surgeon, but have worn a soft support garment everyday since my drains came out, more for back support and scar control.
Gini......I think the issue for some has been a loss of a defined waist, aka, no hips to anchor pants, but I could be wrong.
Jeez....I hate autocorrect when using my phone....had to keep editing this message so it made sense! -
CRS - great to hear you are home, but my heart goes out to you for having to head back into the OR. Glad that's behind you. The Doppler checks were the most important checks on me every hour I was checked, so I was definitely concerned that the flap might get rejected.
I posted yesterday that all drains are out and so are stitches. I'm careful, but have no problem lifting my arms over my head and showered all by myself this morning and had no problem washing my hair. Tomorrow I may attempt to blow dry my hair, but pony tails have been working just fine. My armpits are a bit irritated too, even with nice cotton shirts on.
I have to say that I over did it yesterday and today. I left the house with my Sister for at least 2 hours at a time. Tomorrow the big plan is to do Nothing! My PS sent me home without a binder, bra and didn't mention cami's, but those are a no brainer, especially if you have little kids who are all up in your kool aide and don't need to see any bloody liquidity fluid flowing through the hose.
My point is that, even though you and others may think you look great on the "outside" so quickly since your surgery, it's important to recognize that your body is still messed up inside and needs some serious healing and TLC. Friday I have an appointment at Smilow Boutique to get fitted for a bra. Then thats it's for me, then straight home to rest before my Son get off the bus. I've also had too many guests and my DH is getting very irritated and I do get that.
I feel like I can go back to work within a week from now, and maybe I'll go in for a few hours next week, I have my own business with complete flexibility), but the reality is, that would be silly, especially if it meant I had to take a step back. After all, I'm no Spring chicken".
Stage 2 for me will at Summers end to even up the girls and figure out nipple implants and/or tattoos.
I don't have the "dog ears" that some folks are talking about that they have.
I feel badly for those of you going through forms of depression. Just please be sure you speak to a professional who can listen and help you out. It sounds like there are terrific meds out there that can help you. I have a few friends on Celexa and it's working beautufully.
Once I heal a bit more, I will be introduced to my oncologist and will get the treatment part of this journey going. It sounds like my course of action has been in different order than most of you on this thread, not sure why either? Maybe because I was just diagnosed?
Anyway, I must go off to bed now. Night night lovely ladies!!! -
This is the thread that talks about belly shape and pants falling down.....Topic: DIEP flap belly shape
Just wondering if this is an issue form any of you? -
Mammalou, although I've lost about twelve pounds from my pre-op weight, my tummy is still swollen and wearing my old jeans is a bit uncomfortable still. They button just fine, but feel a little pinchy after a short period of time.
I have no doubt, though, that when everything settles down my old pants will be too big. Heavy sigh...just have to go shopping...
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Ladies.....I feel like I've been away for a month...so much has happened! Glad our new "members" are recovering....and sounds like things are "rolling" along
Very sorry to hear about spots and lumps elsewhere....in your pockets, girls! Please keep us in the loop......
I am leaving for Sapporo, Japan in two weeks......my daughter lives there and wants to take me to an Onsen(Japanese hot spring spa)....no swimsuits.....what do you think they'll make of my funny, nipple-less foobs?!? I am laughing as I am typing this because I can just imagine.......
Love the analogy about having your nose on a picture......worry is something we all have/had to deal with....every day it gets a little easier for me. I like Sbelizabeth's "delete" button, as well.
Mamma-I wish I could help you, but although my waist is smaller, my BUTT is still big enough to keep my pants from falling down, so I guess that's a good thing!
Love you ladies-I continue to learn from each and every one of you......
Namaste and God bless - Jackie
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sbelizabeth....oh the things we must endure! Shopping.....smaller sized pants, sigh!!! Trés mal! Not sure why I've escaped the swollen tummy so quickly, but I think the trade off for me is still lots of trouble with range of movement in my "diep" side arm, which, of course, is my dominant arm. Feels like it's pulling all the way down in my forearm - can't get it straight above my head. Really starting to frustrate me, since I put so many months before surgery, getting the range back from the friggin frozen shoulder.
MOVIE!!!! How are you feeling? Lots better I hope!
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LMO it took me several surgeries until I finally GOT IT about ROM re arms : I never had time that it was difficult to put arm over head - but was told to walk my fingers up the wall and STOP when I felt a twinge or pain and go no further that day! I think it's to prevent any deep sutures from new flap! So while I COULD raise them, it was I shouldn't raise them until Dr gave me ok to for flap reasons.
However certainly your Dr may have other instructions for you specifically - I just never understood until I explained to my Dr that it doesn't hurt so can I lift right away?
Just another viewpoint of the ROM. -
After I signed off last night, I realized I forgot to respond to two postings I could speak to...
Faith - I am another one who loves to listen to certain songs to perk me up!
Madonna - Ray of Light
Miley Cyrus - The Climb
Katy Perry - Firework
and of course Kelly Clarkson - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
And I am the one who mentioned the bald spot on the back of my head that showed up a couple of weeks post surgery. It is called pressure alopecia I think. Mine is still pretty bald though I can feel soft fuzzies there...
Have a fabulous day, ladies!! Cloudy here, today... But it's good that the flowers and plants got a good soaking yesterday!
Hugs, Jeannie
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