DIEP 2013

Pattysmiles

Ladies,



I am not a regular poster here. I had to go back and re-read the threads I've been following to see if I could see the issue being mentioned about postings.



Please keep in mind where people are coming from. There are SO many variables. age at first diagnosis, recurrence, age at recurrence, previous surgeries, financial abilities, ease of access to doctors,ability to take time off work, family support, what part of the country, or even what country they are from...



There is NO right or wrong answer in regards to surgery procedures people elect if it is or is not the same as yours. And I don't think I've seen anyone said that someone is wrong.



Everyone has valuable info AND insight. ALL insight needs to be heard so we (the newbies!) can make an informed and educated decision as to which step(s) we might want to consider.



I appreciate ALL of your input and look forward to reading many more posts that will be useful along my journey. And when my time comes and I am being wheeled in for my DIEP I will be remembering all of you for sharing your journey with me.



Stay strong.

Pat

seagan

Nihahi, please don't leave us! We've - you've - built so much with this board, such a community. Maybe you and bdavis could talk directly via PMs to see if peace could be made? I so hope so. We need you! And I hope we can be a support to you too. Please give us another chance.

Gini23

Faith - let us know what they say tomorrow!

liefie

Nihahi, you have so much support here as you can see, and we would really like you to come back. Think about it, will you? You meant no harm, and there is no reason for you to leave. Hope to see you back soon.

Moviemaniac

Can't sleep....might as well comment on the kerfuffle that occurred earlier.....still am not sure what sparked it, and don't really understand, but I "know" Nihahi from other threads, and cannot for one second feel she would ever direct criticism at anyone.....she is a lovely, kind soul....always ready to cheer you up, and root for you when you are feeling down. Her input on this thread is valuable, because she is expressing a point of view many DIEPers have, in saying "I am happy, and one surgery is enough for me". I do not think she ever was pointing to anyone, including Betsy,(whose point of view is also valuable to this thread) and criticizing ..... She simply pointed to her own experience-which is all any of us can do. I echo Marty and Patty is saying each of us brings our own unique viewpoint, and our experiences during this journey can be and are of tremendous help to those who follow......for myself, I personally wish I could be done with just one surgery.....not looking forward to more anesthesia......I applaud those of you moving fearlessly ahead, and understand why, but I will probably not pursue too much more-especially after this year, mainly because I don't want to meet my high deductible 2years in a row! (Not even sure my PS will be able to actually say plication when he does surgery #2-my insurance company is one that thinks anything past the BMX/recon is fluff....yeah, right, sure it is!) I hope that this can be resolved, as the thread will be much poorer without the input from ALL points of view.



Namaste and God bless-Jackie

Jeannie57

I would just like to say, in response to an earlier post, that I have every reason to believe that my delayed DIEP will produce fabulous results.

PinkHeart

Jeannie57,



I'm sure it will, too, especially with excellent skill of microsurgeon you personally chose. With all the complications and pain I went through with a 7.5 hour BMX and ALND, then PS at that time knowing I would need rads, why he still proceeded with immediate direct implant recon turning it into a 10 hour surgery and then losing the painful implant six months later to radiation damage.



Seems to be controversy over delayed versus immediate when it comes to rads whether it is implant or free flap recon.



Warm wishes for a great outcome and easy recovery.

Lmo45

I'm 6 days post op and my breasts are swollen and a bit hard toward the top, which just happened last night. My right breast has been larger, probably because of more swelling all along. Is it normal that the top of my breasts are a bit hard or should I call my ps? I will see him tomorrow for my first post op appointment , but would love to hear from some veterans if you have a chance. My VNA will be coming later, but she's not a doc. Any opinions ?????



Thank you, Lauren

fredntan

i had hardness in my radiated breast. was instructed to massge daily. softer at first, then harder. your PS will guide you. my sx was in oct, the hardness really startedbreakinging up in jan /feb. took a while. i have heard of some using US to break up the scar tissue. I couldnt find any PT here inVa willing to do that. they said they heard it increaseschance of bc. i think they weretoo lazy to put US machine into private room to accamodate me.

Cuetang

I don't think I could've put my viewpoints any better than moviemaniac/Jackie did a couple of hours ago. I think the value of BCO is that we can share our thoughts/experiences freely and offer each other support where others not going through this can't understand. Nihahi-- I think you can see that a lot of us respect and feel that you add so much value to this thread, please don't stop posting here!



Lauren-- my breasts were pretty hard after the surgery at different spots, especially compared to the original gals. I'm two months out and am finding that I'm recently starting to soften up (I haven't massaged them). I think it's perfect that you have a follow up to ask about it, just in case.

kuka21174923

Nihahi and bdavis, I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell my kids when they fight. Talk it out and fix it!! We know better than anybody else that life is too short to get upset over things like this. This has been and amazing board for me. I can't tell you how much it helped me when I was having doubts about the surgery. You all came to comment, and your comments kept me at peace with my decision. All of you have contributed to this board, and I would hate for that to change. Bdavis, you always seemed to be so informative, and nihahi, you've always been so sweet and caring. I'm not going to beg you not to leave, but I surely hope that you two can talk it out and sometimes we misinterpret things. Just look back and see how far you've come in life, you both are grown women that just had a disagreement. Talk about it!!!

About my boobs. What my PS have me is silver sulfate as well. It looks like its doing the job, but my DH said is working very slowly. I'm calling my PS today and see what he says. Everything else seems to be healing really well. Went out yesterday for the first time sine surgery. Put on a dress and even make up. Wow!! I looked like a normal person and I even had someone i didnt know commented how nice I looked. We were celebrating Mother's Day before my mom leaves tomorrow😞. After lunch we went to best buy and my DH bought me an iPad mini. So happy with it. Now I'll have it with me during rectory for stage 2.

It was a very long day for me, so at the end of the day I was exhausted!!! With this surgery what I've learned us that when I'm hurting its not from my incisions but from my lower back because of walking hunched over?

I forgot to mention that I bought a no boundaries sports bra at Walmart for $5 and I love it. It feels like I'm wearing nothing. I'm going back today to get one of each color.

Have a wonderful day!!

faith729

Lmo45 I had significant hardness toward the tops of both for I think the first two weeks. It has since softened completely with the exception of one small area. You can call your PS for reassurance there's no harm in that for sure. This is a big surgery so I really think they expect calls like that. Just do NOT massage the area yet it is way to early as the flaps and blood vessels are too fragile. Hang in there you'll notice big changes/improvements each week. My right breast was noticeably larger in the beginning at 5 weeks out there seems to be no noticeable difference. ((Hugs))



Gini called Tracey the NP and e-mailed her a pic of my ab inscision. She said occasionally a hole like that can lead to larger issues but in this case she thought it was pretty superficial and should heal in approximately 1 week. She also said to usea small amount of bacetracin under a gauze pad and to hold in place withthe binder no tape. Luckily I see my breast surgeon on Wednesday and both offices are in the same area so if anything changes she said that she would squeeze me in to check it out.

liefie

Movie, you have expressed yourself so well in your last post, and like Cuetang, I totally agree with you. My DD taught me something too. When she experiences a difference or conflict with somebody, she asks herself if this is a hill to die on. 99.9% of the time it is not. Hope it brings some perspective and healing.

nihahi

A tear-filled day and a sleepless night. I appreciate the words and messages from so many of you. In the past, I have endured significant verbal and emotional abuse in what should have been a "safe" environment, and comments specifically accusing me of backpeddling and posting offensive comments triggered a learned response of removing myself from "further harm".  Even though I received many PM's of support and agreement, the accusations felt like a "public flogging" to me.

However, I also know I would be losing the support, experience and courage of so many of you, which I truly treasure and NEED. I have gained so much from you all, and believe we have so much to offer ladies who come looking for help, and my intentions have always been that.....to support and help. Not ever to "label" others or promote my opinions as more valid or appropriate as another point of view.

I believe that if you "upset" someone by something you do or say, it doesn't matter if you didn't intend to, or don't understand how you did it....an apology is needed.......So, to anyone who was offended by my words of choosing a non-intensive Stage 2 for myself, and for the use of the word "makeover", I apologize, sincerely, for the upset it caused you. I believe we all have valid things to say, but no one should be made to feel upset or "judged".....I am sorry if my words brought those emotions to some of you. 

I am still healing from Stage 1, and although happier than I have been in years, I am going to have a Stage 2 of minimal tweaks and nipple reconstruction, to sort out the confusion that I am not pursuing further "refinement". 

Yesterday, I asked the mods to remove me as the contact person, in my whirlpool of emotions and feelings of rejection. It does not appear that they have made that change yet, and I am willing to continue, if that is what you want. I am also willing to step away from that task, if it resolves any outstanding issues because of me

Morningsun1

Love you, nihahi!

Pattysmiles

Wish there was a " like " button!

Thank you Nihahi!

liefie

Nihahi! You've just made my day! Of course we want you to continue as contact person - I'm pretty sure it's unanimous. What a great spirit you have - gotta love you!

faith729

Pattysmiles my thoughts exactly "like"



Nihahi Very well said I'm so glad your back I would have been sad to loose your great posts/support and I would hate to think you would feel like you couldn't come to this thread when you need us also. ((Hugs)) we share the same "learned response" so I completely understand why you responded that way initially.

kuka21174923

Nihahi, I always say if it isn't broken don't fix it. And I believe it applies on this. Lets keep things the way they are since we've been doing just fine. I'm glad you had time to think and decide to stay with us. Things wouldn't be the same without you!

Bdavis, we haven't seem you in here. But I'll tell you the same thing I've told nihahi. We like your input as well and would like for you to continue on this board. We're women, and that by itself is hard enough, add it the stress of everything we're going through and it's an explosion waiting to happen. It's ok to disagree sometimes, we're all different.

I'm still waiting for PS to call me and let me know if my blisters are healing right. Will update as soon as I know something.

Moviemaniac

Welcome back, Nihahi-your voice is one women look to, and lack of it would be a shame. The same goes for Betsy-we value your experience, and when it is shared, we are richer for it. Please do not stay away.......



Namaste and God bless us all - Jackie

Catie2013

🙆From a lurker - LIKE

fredntan

If it werent for Betsy I'd be just getting my Diep just about now here locally. I'm sure that wouldn't have turned out good. Thanks Betsy for all your knowledge. You've guided me through my recon.

Janet_M

Nihahi - I'm so glad to hear from you. It is a day-maker! I can honestly say that I feel calmer now that I you are back.  I don't want anyone to leave this little village.

Betsy - I hope you return too

Del11

My my you all are sensitive. So much drama over so little.

Kitchen/heat... door/out... yeesh. Welcome to the Internet.

Anonymous

Guess I'm just lurking here, but had bilateral DIEP two years ago, with one revision.  My PS always stressed I needed to lose weight before surgery, as it would make finding the hook\up vessels & arteries much easier, than having to dissect too much fat.  Mind you I was not really overweight, maybe 2 lbs over the BMI chart.  Found it interesting that so many of your docs tell women they don't have enough belly fat.  I am a busty size now, never was before all this and I'm not sure I won't go back for a little to be taken out to even the score ! I complained about how lumpy and hard I felt on one side seven months later, and doc recommended a bar to hang from -- worked great -- just need to keep it up.

PinkHeart

Mihahi, Thanks so much for keeping this wonderful group of survivors together to support each other on their DIEP surgery decisions! We really need you!



Betsy, your input and knowledge has been helpful to many. Where would we be without our "Betsy's"!



Like others, I hope you return, too!

liefie

What happened here yesterday just shows how HUMAN we all are, and we are all guilty of that accusation - lol! I second what was said about Betsy, and our day on this thread will be even more perfect if she would check in. If something doesn't kill us, it makes us wiser. We have all learned from this, and can again look forward to info-swopping, encouragement and support from each other. Here is room for all of us, and we need each other. Hope to 'see' you soon, Betsy!

Lmo45

Nihahi, very elated to hear that you will continue on this thread. Where are the damn "like" buttons???

Gini23

Agreed – we need a "like" button!



Betsy - hoping you will return to continue to share your experience and knowledge.



Faith - glad to hear it doesn't seem serious!



Now... Should I get back to schoolwork, take a walk in the sunshine, or succumb to the much needed nap that is pulling on my eyelids....??



Jeannie

Cuetang

Yay Nihahi's back! *group hug* Betsy come back too!



Jeannie-- I vote for the walk and a nap.