Deciding to be flat after reconstruction

I'm with you.  I decided against reconstruction and am fine with external prosthetics.  If I had the nerve, I would dispense with those, too.  I would rather be comfortable.  my doctor tried to talk me into reconstruction.  However, I had a mastectomy on the left 23 years ago and went w/o reconstruction.  so, when I had the mastectomy on the right two years ago and said, "no reconstruction", I guess he figured he wouldn't push it.   I did not like the idea of more surgery, discomfort, etc. and, the numbness would have driven me crazy.  I just didn't want to do it and my husband understood.

There is always some numbness in the underarm and chest area after mastectomy.  Often there is a sensation as if you are wearing a tight bra even if you don't have a bra on.  This is due to the fact that the surgeon had to manipulate the nerves in the area.  It seems to me that this gets better with time.   I'm wondering, Vanessa, if the weight of the implants you had didn't aggravate that and give you the neuralgia.  Glad you are feeling better, now.  

Good on you mizkitty!

I really feel fo you having to go through all that, to end up where you wanted to be all along.

I have absolutely no concept of where these Doctors are coming from when they push for immediate reconstruction. We are hearing of more and more brave women like you who are having these things removed, when they didn't want them in the first place, and are going forward feeling far more confident and with less pain. How dare this shallow individual tell you that you'll have mental issues, or indeed, have trouble finding love. To say such things at a time when you would be feeling vulnerable is unconscionable.

Just how sick could you have become with that thing leaking inside you? It doesn't bear thinking about.

There are plenty of stories here about women finding love after a BMX, we have a saying that it sorts the "wheat from the chaff". LOL

It is really refreshing to hear your story, I wish you all the very best for your future! Take care!

So glad you had the implants removed.  I know they make implants now that have cohesive gel that will not leak out, even if there is a rupture.  However, I don't want them, cohesive gel or not.  and that is that.  It is my choice.  and I respect the choice of anyone who wants reconstruction.  I know two ladies who had it and are very happy and one lady who, like me chose not to have it ... and she is feeling quite OK about it.

There is another thread in here where a gal mentions having a "flat-fest" and that gave me such a chuckle.  I can sure understand!

Hey MizKitty

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I'm horrified that doctors could actually say what they said to you. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy in December 2005. I have never opted for reconstruction (have a good laugh about my pin-striped chest) and have never worried in the slightest about the flat chest. I've got quite a small frame as it is so no-one even notices. I have just recently had another lump removed from my chest walls and it's come back ER+/HER2+ and after all my scans etc have two spots mets on my liver so doing weekly Taxol for 28 weeks, Herceptin every third week and that will be for a year but so far so good. Last chemo was for six months (Jan-June 06) and also Herceptin for year (2006).....Going tomorrow for #10 / 28. fter that I will do daily radiotherapy for 5 weeks on the chest area. Happy happy days folks xxx

I just finished my rads today!!!!! 28/28 Woohooooo.... Just wanted to say I'm in anybody's corner for going flat. I had a right mastectomy and honestly I LIKE my flat side. I look at the left boob and think, "Why do I need this thing hanging here?"  Seriously considering having it taken off. My surgeon did not want to remove a healthy breast when I had the mastectomy, and I think he wanted to give me time to give it more thought before I made a rash decision. I respect that, but after several months I can see many advantages to not having breasts. For one thing, no more mammograms. Then no more prosthetics unless I had a wild hair to dress up and have boobs again(it would be optional). Not waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak waiting for the inevitable recall mammogram and the bad news about something showing up in the "healthy" breast. In reading many, many posts, I hear of dx by pathology of hidden bc after prophylactic removal when nothing showed up on the mammo or MRI. The way I see it, if a man discards me because I have no breasts, well he wasn't worthy of  attention in the first place!  It certainly rules out a lot of crummy men, or as someone on here said, separates the wheat from the chaff......

Like you, I am not really wanting to dive back into the surgery scene and have those blasted drains again (the worst part). Well yes, I guess it IS kind of fun to do some occasional sorting of wheat from chaff. But after cancer, I am thinking my life could be very short if I have a recurrence, and who has time to waste now? After the months of worry and treatments and surgeries, I want to do some fun things like travel and pursue hobbies I've never taken time to enjoy. If I just happen to meet a worthy guy, that MIGHT be an extra bonus. I've had two unhappy marriages, so no rush to jump into another relationship at this time. Hey, I can be flat-chested and not worry about being rejected for my physical limitations. Opening up a whole new chapter.......

Jennie93, we are sympatico on the subject. When I had the unilateral mastectomy on the right, I was so blindsided by the whole BC thing, I just couldn't fully focus on taking the other side off. Not that it would have done any good to protest keeping the left one. It is hard to fight when you are down on a gurney and being wheeled into the OR for the second time in a week. Male doctors seem to think women must be crazy to consider going flat, maybe they are convinced that we will not be attractive any longer to the opposite sex. I am sooooo done with all of that thinking. I am 65 and breast fed three children, so I used those boobs as they were intended. I am living separately from my second husband of 37 years and really don't care if I ever have another man in my life. Maybe that will change, but I doubt it. I'm having too much fun on my own, not catering to somebody else all the time. My "ex" says I am selfish, and the BC is a punishment. OMG. 

I don't wear a bra except when I absolutely have to, and then I just sewed a pouch with micro beads into the empty cup. That seems to work okay because I was never one to wear tight, revealing, or low-cut things. I'm a very practical person and do a lot of gardening and heavy yard work so I wear lots of flannel shirts and sweatshirts that cover everything up. Not that I don't know how to be a girly-girl. I do and I have in the past been fashionable and feminine. Now that I'm older I don't even buy spike heels anymore like in the old days. I would rather be comfy. Besides, I have a bunion.....    

I wonder if Medicare would cover a prophilactic mastectomy now?  Jennie93, I agree I would have that other boob off in a heartbeat if they found so much as a smidgen of DCIS. I plan to ask for an MRI with my next mammogram to see if there is ANYTHING in there. But, as we know, tests only go so far and don't show everything.

I hate to wear a bra now that I'm recovering from burns and skin irritation from my recent radiation, so I wear a cami as a substitute when I go out in public, and I've found that patterned clothing seems to be good at camoflaging the flat chest. Also I wear a lot of button up shirts partially unbuttoned over the cami. Jewelry and scarves tend to attract the eye, so somebody looking at you head on would not notice a flat chest as much. Most people don't seem to really pay that much attention anyway. MKGCPA, I have a midriff pooch too (mine is menopause fat) and I hate the fact that it seems more apparent than ever now that I can see it when looking down. I'm trying to lose some weight, but it's not coming off very fast. I was pretty inactive for a few months with all the medical junk I've been going through. I've always worn jackets because of my pear shape, so I continue to do that.  I hope we get some posts on this forum with original fashion ideas.  Ladies?????

Thank you JAN69 for the Medicare info. I was DCIS Stage 0 though, so unless the cancer is invasive, would they be likely to let me just take off the other boob "just in case"? I'm going to pursue it.  I'm also retired and live a very casual lifestyle, so mostly wear shirts and jeans. Very seldom dress up for anything. Dressing up for me would be putting on a new pair of jeans....

Maggi, I admire your courage and determination.  I will be thinking of you in the weeks ahead and will support you emotionally on this forum in any way I possibly can. Feel free to rant and cry if you need to. After five years of misery, it will be such a relief for you to get rid of your implants! This website is just full of comments from women who hate their implants and have so many issues.   Good luck, and keep us posted here on the forum.  

I am very scared of having even more pain after the surgery. who knows?  I already have so much nerve damage, the surgery could do more damage. but, I am pressing on with my decision to go flat,don't think I will be able to jsut go flat though, will probably use foobs some of the time, especially when getting dressed up. Oh, now i need to get clothes that flatter this look.  I am just so glad this is almost over.  I hope sharing my story will help other women to avoid such a mess. Surgeons are egomaniacs and think they know everything.  I cannot wait to be rid of them!!  Please, anyone, feel free to respond, it helps me so much.  No one else really understands what I am doing.  Even my sweet husband said, "Just have those things off and be done with it"

Hi Maggi....I too admire your courage.  I have had my reconstruction done twice (since April 2007) and I hate hate hate them.  I have pain, pressure, itching, and can't sleep on my side.  I would have had them out last summer but I developed splenic lymphoma and spent two weeks in the hospital then two months at home recovering from a gawdawful surgery.  My plastic surgeon said she would take them out and if I wanted to she could do "fat grafting" to keep me from being concave.  I would in essence get a tummy tuck which is paid for because it is "grafting not "lipo" according to insurance terminology.

Can you tell me if you are "concave" or just flat now that you have had them removed?  Did they remove the skin that was stretched due to the expanders?  I would love to sleep on my side again without pain.  If I do sleep on it too much - it aches for days.  I am a size 16 so I had large implants put in.  Even so, I still wear a small insert to balance my chest with the rest of my body for symmetry.  I won't mind using a prosthetic when I want to "dress up"  but I am fine with flat if it looks flat not sunken.  Any advice is so appreciated!  Thank you!