The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

Just wanted to chime in. All though I'm not having issues because of no Chemo or anti-Hormonals. I have my ovaries but no uterus for years. I've had issues with the tears.... Oh how they hurt & burn. I'm thinking of printing it off & taking it to my Gyno next time just to see if she knows of this stuff so they can help others. She is just a few years new to me as my long time male Gyno retired about 5 years ago. She is frank & usually brings up the sex ?'s as she knows my ovaries are about to quit. Not used to the frankness of talking sex 101 with her. But it's amazing how cancer can change your perspective!!!

I did not find scream cream to be all that helpful. However, I have gone from being entirely unable to have sex to having my sex life be *almost* back to normal. It wasn't easy. Here's what worked for me.

I use an old Replens applicator to insert coconut oil every night. I've also started experimenting with a baby-medicine-dropper and olive oil. Messy, but has really helped keep the tissues healthy. And a lot cheaper than Replens!

I spent 3 months in physical therapy. Sex had become painful because of the dry tissues, and as a result my pelvic floor muscles were in spasm. It was like being a virgin all over again. The therapist, a young woman, worked with me to expand the tissues (yes, this was a truly hands-on procedure) and also did biofeedback to train me to relax those muscles. She also gave me a series of vaginal dilators...basically like dildos in graduated sizes...and I worked with them for up to 90 minutes a night. She also gave me some stretching exercises and some relaxation exercises to do.

I must admit that I despaired during this process that I would never have sex again. It took a really long time to go from one size dilator up to the next. But my husband and I had sex again. The first couple of times, I didn't last long, and I had to use Aquaphor afterwards because there were still some micro-tears. On, and I had to have about 3 drinks, and spend about 1/2 hour beforehand doing my stretching and relaxation.

But each time, we advanced a bit more. We did it without my being "lubed up" on alcohol. We did it spontaneously. But it was still for a short time, and not very vigorous. Until last week.

Last night was the first time we did it twice in one night! The second time wasn't very long, but this is light years from where we were in December.

saw this on the active list, sure it's where I learned about COCOA BUTTER, but it was awhile ago, so in gratitude to whoever posted it - thank you.  Yup, vaginal atrophy, plus years of Arimidex, and after coconut oil, the winner is

ORGANIC COCOA BUTTER.  Aura Cacia is what Whole Foods has, also online, of course.  Chip off a piece with a small knife, it is solid in the jar, and use as a suppository when you go to sleep.  Much less messy than coconut oil, and I think it's more moisturizing.  Delicious chocolate smell....

If you want to use it as a skin moisturizer, you have to melt it for a few minutes in the microwave.  Excellent for very dry skin.

Thanks again to whoever first posted about it on this thread, a long, long times ago.

Sunflowers~~Thanks for the info! I've got to do something. My DH has been great, but we always had a great sex life before menopause and I miss it too.



Paula

I whip the solid, organic coconut oil, add a teaspoon or so of Vitamin E oil and a splash of aloe vera gel. Keeps it soft enough to handle. I use it as a moisturizer as well, it's really helped my scars heal. Works for me!

RE: mixing organic coconut oil, vitamin E ( I cut open actual Vitamin E capsules, better than the E liquids in bottles), organic cocoa butter - and then shape into appropriate suppository shape - put into saran wrap (cling film) and refridgerate.  Easier to insert, and keeps in fridge for a long time.

MUCH bettere than anything I've tried OTC. 

artsee, that's why I've ( so far at least) just been using the straight coconut oil most of the time...have not had the time to whip up a blend on the weekend. Opening a jar of coconut oil isn't any more work than opening a tube of Replens. And if I still don't have time once it gets warmer, I can always keep the jar in the fridge to keep it semi-solid, or use the medicine dropper for the liquid.

So....I listen to OutQ radio on SiriusXM...it is the LGBT station. One program reccomends boy butter lube. It is apparently fantastic and doesn't contain glycerin which is part of the problem with most lubes. Since it was originally formulated for anal sex....it already had our issues in mind. Haven't tried it with my husband yet but we are ordering some this weekend. http://www.boybutterlubes.com/

Thank you so much ladies for posting your experiences here!  I have just finished chemo and am about to start Tamoxifen and the collateral damage to my vagina is the thing that is bumming me out the most about treatment at this point.

I just started using Vitamin E caps (poke a hole in it and insert 3 - 5x/week) on the advice of my naturopath and she suggested adding replens if the Vitamin E does not offer enough relief.  I had heard about using coconut oil when I went to the Komen Breast Issues conference here and it sounds like some of you are happy with it!

I'm really not ready to give up my sex life (at age 45) so I really appreciate the sharing and support you women offer!

Sorry, just my second post and as I can now see i am in the wrong forum! I wanted answers to my concern to painful intercourse ! Any comments etc would be most helpful!

Loriw, 21 pages of great information. Should answer a lot of questions and get you well on your way to active and enjoyable relations again. (there is no caveat that you can't read here on IV.). Hope you are never Stage IV, but if so happens, you can see we are a wonderful and honest group to be with. Read and use what you can.

Loriw - I was hesitant to get involved in this thread because I am not Stage 4 - but this subject concerns everyone that has/is going through chemo, menopause, etc.  Because of this thread I was able to enjoy sexual relations with my dh - we had put everything on hold for about 18 months until this thread came out because I couldn't find a solution even though I went to many doctors.  My dh never pushed me at all - it was something that I felt I needed to do for US.

Do read the earlier pages - I think  you will find the pertinent information very helpful.

Both my breast surgeon and oncologist said no to estrogen creams. I have found cocoa butter a little helpful, and my gynecologist prescribed lidocaine ointment to ease the pain, but I haven't tried it yet.

I agree dancetrance.

My MO is OK with me using  prescription Vagefem twice a week.  It really helps with the dryness issues, but I still am having some pain with intercourse.  I can tell that my vaginal tissues are getting thinner, despite the moisture.  I am very grateful that I am able to use the vagefem, given that my cancer was very estrogen positive.  I have also used the compounded scream cream.  It does help, but I found it burned a bit. I think it does increase the blood flow to that area which makes arousal more attainable.  I have also used coconut oil and Albolene Cream for lubrication.  Albolene is a facial cleanser that my GYN recommends for vaginal lubrication.  It does not get sticky like some other lubricants.

Sadly, nothing works like the Sotto Pelle bio identical estrogen and testosterone pellet implants that I was using prior to my dx.  My tissues were fat and happy and my libido was through the roof.  I miss that "me" so much....so does my sweet husband.