Suicide

my2boys - this forum is a lifeline and a godsend isnt it? Everyone else had wonderful and helpful responses so no way to top theirs except to say I am a huge NYY fan too and cant remember the last time they lost on opening day. I think it is going to be a long season for the Bronx Bombers given their injuries and they are just getting too old to play professional baseball...is what it is. I will say I bet all the mothers of teenagers can relate to their attitude. A friend/dr told me not to take it personally(how else would I take it) when my youngest son was a SA...it was growing pains and he is finding himself. I told him thats fine but while he is doing that he is not going to talk back or be disrespectful. I cant tell you how many times I told him I am not one of your friends so you are not talking that way to me...sigh. My son had a hard time initially with the bc dx but I have not had to endure a lot other than Rads treatments which I drove myself to in the early AM and was back home in under 2 hours and most of that was drive time. Of course they are all sick of it; most of all you. I cant help but feel outrage sometimes when people react this way, save the children, because its not like we asked for it. Good grief that is beyond insensitive. No comment to speak of on your husband. Maybe he needs to be reminded of the better or worse part of his wedding vows. Anyone can be a devoted spouse when everything is going well its when its not that really counts and tells you what kind of person they really are. In closing my husband almost did what you contemplated. He has depression issues and wasnt taken his meds but I digress..point is I have thought everyday about what might have happened and how sad that would have been for my children and me. The same would be true of your family. So keep the faith; we are all praying and pulling for you. Diane

My thoughts and prayers are with You

Please feel free to talk or if You need a

prayer, I am thinking good thoughts a

know  You new family here will always care, God bless You Debbie

So glad to hear from you, My2boys.  I too draw my strength from  my faith in God. It was very couragous to reach out to us on here.  We all need a safe place to talk,vent, cry, or what ever we need to do.  These are a great bunch of women on here.  We understand and get it, dealing with this cancer beast.  Sending lots of ((((Hugs)))) and prayers.

Perhaps in addition to you getting help ASAP your sons should get help, as should your husband. Cáncer is an individual and a family crisis. Ongoing help is needed Since we all Want to live joyously and healthily. You have a lot of courage. Hold on to it despite difficult treatments and family UPS and downs. Wishing you much happiness.

I am praying that You are able to find a comfort place

for Yourself that You are able to be alone and think

good things, try writing down the bad in the back of  a

notebook and good things in the front. and then You

have something to lean on. I have a grateful journal and

use the back for challenges, close it I gave it to God.

You in my prayers. Footprintsangel

You go girl, well done on owning the truth. You sound so much stronger and in control today. This is stressful and you don't need your husband to take his own pain and stress out on you.

You said earlier that your marriage had been very strong and happy so it is sad to hear that your husband doesn't stand beside you now and be able to support each other. But that is not something you can change unless he acknowledges that he needs help and speaks to someone about his anger and pain.

You have done the tough step and reached out to help yourself  so congrats to you. Your children are lucky to have you.

Stay strong and be proud of yourself.

Moira

My2boys that is how you do it!!!! I'm so proud you are reclaiming yourself and is not letting him affect you. That's his burden not yours..

I am in the same situation. Hear these same Word every week. Remember your husband can find another girl but your kids will never find another mother you are the only one who can take care of your kids.

I had cancer twice i know god made me alive because of my kids. Kids are the only reason. Forget about the suicide god gave you life you have no right to finish it. Go for help tell your husband if u go for any suicide attempt he will be in trouble too

You are not the only one if you can fight cancer you can fight everything



words

Aw, now... you're making me blush.



Listen. YOU inspired me today. And get this straight----you inspire your kids. Even if they struggle to realize it now, they will draw upon the strength and resolve---later---that you show now.

This gift you give to them is invaluable. It also enables you to BE THERE----which so happens to be the best thing in the world for them.

Grace, humanity and POWER. These things are YOU.



Bless you.



Bless everyone here.

My2boys, you are amazing!

I had been watching what was going on with this thread, and I was worried for you, but to see where you are now, is just so uplifting.

I am not surprised that your husband has done a turnaround, your shift in attitude has probably shaken him a bit. Good for you!

Please continue to do things for you, go shopping and spend time with your lovely, trusted neighbor.  You deserve it, and it will continue to make you feel more confident.

I am sure that your being able to share this, on this Forum has helped a lot of others, who may have been in a similar situation.

Take care of you!

I'm glad you're doing better, My2boys. Sounds like your husband needs some serious counseling to get him dealing with the realities of breast cancer. Either that, or a boot out to the street.

Not to hijack this thread, but I will admit that the subject topic caught my eye. I've often wondered why so few people on these boards ever mention suicide or suicidal thoughts. You must all be more well-adjusted than me. Or maybe it's one of those things no one wants to admit to?

Go talk to a therapist about your suicidal thoughts, get in touch and talk w/your kids and then divorce your husband.  Sorry, but he sounds like a cruel man.

lol

more than cancer your husband's behaviour will kill you soon.

its better you stood up and told him that you didnt do this to yourself and secondly it will not ruin their childhood as you are not dead yet and also. they will become more responsible towards everything in the world and also they will be better human for future after knowing that their father is such a rude person to their ailled mmom will ruin their childhood more than anything else.

Minxie: When I was dx'ed 6 yrs ago, suicide was all that I could think about. I posted it in a few of my threads but mainly used the chat rooms to discuss my feelings. It isn't that we haven't felt it at some time or another and kept it to ourselves, perhaps it is just that it is lost in the middle of a different thread.  For me, at the time of dx, I had great life insurance and was alone. Death seemed preferable for all concerned, especially me. I had sound, logical, rational reasons for it except the final outcome. This site helped a lot. Since then, I can honestly say that I have had many moments when those feelings come back and I am ready to end it all.  

Hate to admit what stops me.. my life insurance is gone (lost in a mix-up with HR). Now there is no one that will care for my cats without that insurance money. So as long as my cats are here, I will be. I DO know that I do not want to outlive my mother for more than one day.  She is 87 and my best friend. When she is gone, I am responsible for doling out the inheritance to my 5 older siblings and I know I won't survive that. None of them wanted anything to do with me before or since the dx.  My "friends" have abandoned me since the dx as I knew they would. No surprises. In fact, many still post to me on FB that I am a drain on our economy because I am on disability, Medicare, and Social Security... Funny, I thought I paid a premium all those working years so that I could have those benefits. Granted, I expected to work another 20 years paying into the system. but cancer stopped that.

We each have our own demons, that show themselves with this dx. What was OK, gets bad; was bad becomes worse.  Counseling and coping skills are wonderful tools for battling the demons, and when you can't get or manage them, this site and these wonderful women always manage to come to the rescue! I hope that all of you battling your demons make it through this experience stronger than you were.

C