After treatment terror

I think it happens to everyone to some extent. I also think it is almost impossible not to get scared out of your wits once in a while, after an experience like cancer. 

The trick is not to have it take over your life, which is easier said than done. Exercise is a good idea, obviously, meds can help, probably talk therapy is helpful for some people, pets, friends, seeking out good times, shoes! (my favorite remedy ).

I also force myself to work through the worst case scenarios. At this point I am more or less at peace with the dying bit. Still not so hot on the how and when bit, but I am working on it It helps me though to force myself to think it through. In the process, I am able to ID just exactly what it is that scares me the worst. Then I can try to address some of those things (living will, how I manage the doctors etc). This may not work for everyone, obviously, but it makes me feel like I have some modicum of control.

Pam - nihahi has some very wise words.  It really does get better with time.

One trick I've used is the "two week" rule.  If I feel a twinge, ache or other unusual feeling, I tell myself that if it's still there in 2 weeks I'll call my doctor.  Most of the time it's long gone and I've forgotten about it at the two week mark, but there have been a few times that the condition has persisted and I've gone to my doctor.  (All were minor non-b/c issues.)  The two-week rule for me is a middle ground between panicking and ignoring - I acknowledge the issue but don't panic because I've promised myself to revisit it in 2 weeks and take action then as needed.

I'm a 5 year "veteran" (I like that word better too) who will finish up femara this June.  Femara can cause fatigue and joint/muscle aches, so some of what you're feeling could well be femara s/e.  Keep up with your exercise program - that's one of the best ways to get through this.  You may want to incorporate some yoga into your fitness regime - the stretching really helps femara aches, and it also teaches you how to calm the mind. 

OOO Natsfan......yes yoga..I do it too.......sooo good for everyone and everything!!!!!!

Also forgot to add, I think it is important to have a "healthy" respect for the toll that tx and sx takes on our bodies. The after affects of chemo, doesn't end the moment you walk out the door after your last dose! People don't wake up from sx either, dust off their hands and say "right, all done"...then hop off the OR table and go home to cook supper! It all takes time, and you DO have the time to "get there".

I had that. After tx was done I just crmbled. I was a mess. Almost quit myjob as nurse. I cried at home at work. Then I was crying over thought of leaving my work



No one knows how long they have. I am doing everything possible to keep this shit away.



In the meantime, i am going to have as much fun as I can.having little midlife crisis over here. Bought a car, didnt tell hubby. That will teach him to answer his phone

Well, you are not alone.  I go through the same thing.  Last summer my husband felt a swollen lymph node in my neck.  Put me right back to that bad place.  Got it checked and found it the lymph node was normal.  However, they did find I had a nodule on my thyroid.  So now I worried about that.  But it was biopsied and is ok.  But then I think..."will this ever end????". 

All of the above advice is excellent and I'm taking it all in myself.  I have taken a mindful meditation course to help me learn how that practice can calm our minds and also help our over all health.  I've also started taking a yoga class.  I alread do the exercise but I wasn't doing anything to help with the worrying.

I've also been trying to live life as others mention.  Do things now instead of putting them off.  

I also switched my ONC dr and now see one that has made me feel much more confident about my experience and decisions.

Hang in there.  It does get better.  There will be longer stretches of time when you don't think about BC at all.  

I also keep coming back to this site to read posts such as yours.  They help me know I'm not alone and also I can share the great advice the others give.

One thing I've learned from practicing mindfullness.  It works.  Each time I take the time to stop and meditate or attend a yoga class I feel better.  More relaxed.  Time spent not worrying about BC, work, family, etc., etc.

The hardest part is taking the time to do it.  But with time it will become a habit.

Yeah, Momine, get with the program! Sheeeesh. 

BOT, pamelahope, I so relate to what you are saying! When I look at my early posts here, I was completely where you are now. Sounds like a cliche, but time does heal all wounds. I also started taking Effexor, which helped tremendously. 

I had a panic attack recently, as I am coming up on my yearly bone and CT scans. Interestingly, when I was panicking I also believed my husband would be on a business trip during the scans. The thought of being alone if, God forbid, I got bad news, was so frightening. When his trip got cancelled, my anxiety immediately subsided. Still nervous, but not panicked.

Best wishes!

Pamela.....hope you're feeling better tonight, tomorrow is another day farther down the road to recovery! 

Just checking in to see how everyone's week has gone.  I went to my yoga class and felt better.  The instructor also teaches mindful meditation so she encorporated the positive affermations into the yoga.  So Monday night was good.  Work was stressful so far all week.  But I'm trying really hard to not let it get to me and be positive and thankful I have a good job.  Working on the worrying thoughts too.

Healthwise I'm just trying to take each day as it comes.  So far so good this week.