Can't Stand the Radiation

I hated it too. It was going to give me a breakdown. I quit rads after 12 days and organised a bilateral mastectomy. Feel like it was the best decision I ever made!



I'm sorry you are going through pain both physically and mentally...



Hugs, Jenn

Before you know it, it's finally Done I hated to leave my home everyday even cried at the end I just did not want to go.  I almost quit but everyone talked to me and I hung in there.  It will pass I will be done with everything this Tuesday it been a total of 15 months from diagnoses. 

Carolyn, it's funny how we react.  The techs all thought that I would like to talk to the other ladies in the waiting room and bond and enjoy the tapes they played during radiation.  I was the opposite.  I read magazines, spoke to no one and asked them to "please turn off that music" when I entered the room  ( Nothing worse than rads with Barry Manilow, nothing against him, just not my taste)  I thought of it as a job, one that I wanted to get through and didn't want the fluff.  The techs immediately turned off the music when I came in and didn't speak to me much and didn't throw the "sparkles" when it was over.  I think that everyone is different.   I did become extremely tired towards the end and went on temp disability.  When it was over I left a spectacular giant Mum from my garden for my RO, she called and left a thankful message in shock! I think that no one knows what bugs us until we tell them and your RO is the head of the ship.  Please call and ask if you can have "a few minutes to talk to her" before your next radiation.  You don't really have to explain it to the receptionist, just say, "it's personal and I would rather speak with her privately" Your feelings and experience count. Let us know how it turns out and many hugs, it's almost over. You're doing great.

I'm happy to have helped :-)



I think very many women (and men) forget that they have choice in this whole process. My oncopsych told me that many women change their minds about different treatments along the way, and that is OK.



I hope the last treatments are gentle on your body and spirit!



regards Jenn

Carolyn - It all came back to me. I had rads 4 years ago and the techs seemed so cold blooded.  I just had the mastectomy and, when they told me to raise my arms overhead, I could only do it slowly. I was threatened with "We'll have to tie your arms up if you can't do it".

There was no talking to the techs. They were so busy with a waiting room full of people and interrupting us with hospital patients who get first dibs.

I also felt like a piece of meat - so impersonal - so degraded - lying half naked on a table in a huge room with no dignity, even getting dressed back up in the hospital gown (hurry up!).  I also lost 3 lbs. over one weekend, which is not easy for me, so it was scary.

Good news is, I'm going on 5 yrs, Stage IV, with no advancement in the cancer.  When the rads are over, Carolyn, hopefully you'll get good results too.

I felt like this too, I was just a slab of meat and when I was man handled by men I just cried, the techs said they thought I needed psych help - NOOOO I just needed human kindness and  recognition I was and am a living feeling woman

I also feel very lucky on many levels.  I HATED the thought of radiation and the possible silent side effects.  I only had 16 sessions, but did get a nasty fungal condition under my breast that peeled twice.  However, the actual experience was made bearable by the friendly techs and the feng shui design of the room, which was named "Serenity".  The lighting was mellow and the music wasn't too bad, but I don't think I will ever need to listen to Rod Stewart again! I took them a Narada cd of very new-agie but pretty music, but it was only on once.  I hope things go better on your last two weeks...hang in!  I visualized Lady Pacman munching on any leftover cancer cells -- and, for some reason, she had rhinestones around her mouth and a big pink boa!