grief of going from recent breastfeeding to mastectomy?

she can come right here. we've all BTDT

my breasts tried to kill me, I'm over them. took time though

I don't know of support groups but I went from activity nursing to mastectomy. My baby was 13 months. It was sad the first time my little one snuggled up to my flat chest. I don't have much grief right now as my focus is on getting through chemo while raising kids and working. I would rather be breast free and well so I try to not dwell.

Oops! Didn't read she already had surgery. Did they spare the nipple? Did she have any reconstruction? For me, this place is helpful, but since there are so many variables to breast cancer, it might be good for her to log on and find answers to her questions. The "search" function can lead you/her to threads that are still active but go back years and offer plenty of insight. A local support group might also be helpful :-)

I was breastfeeding my 3 month old when diagnosed.  It was when they were about to inject me with radioactive contrast for a PT scan that I was told my breastfeeding career was over.  (they actually told me to not even HOLD the baby that evening!).  I cried harder as my mother-in-law gave the baby a bottle than I did when they told me I had cancer. 

That being behind me - I quickly realized that being strong for my children over the long run was more important than breastfeeding past 3 months, more important than soft breasts for them to cuddle up to.  My almost five year old has no memory of me as a "buxom blonde".   It's still painful (for me) when her head rests too hard on my tender sternum - but she doesn't know any differently.  She's smart, beautiful, strong and I did the best I could by breastfeeding for as long as I was able - and believe me, it was a painful struggle over the months before anyone finally realized that it was cancer and not mastitis making it so difficult to feed her. 

But, you asked what resources might help your friend.  It was actually the same mother-in-law that found this for me:  breastfree.org  There are also topics on these forums where women have posted pictures of their flat selves.  Both of these I found very helpful.  Although I too was an enthusastic breastfeeder, this only defines one small part of the experience of raising a child.  My daughter is almost five.  There are so many other responsibilities that I have as her parent which are just as important.  The primary one is being alive, strong and confident in my own skin.  I chose not to have reconstruction.  One reason is that I don't want to spend more time in hospitals, more time in recovery and healing, more time being her "sick" mom.  I now anticipate the day when she asks me why I don't have boobies.  As the months/years go by, your friend will find so many other things that define her as a mother that are far greater than her breasts.  And her baby will be fine.  Continue to support her and be her friend through this transition.