What the heck???

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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited June 2006
    Doreen,
    I think a part of reason I've been fatigued especially in my legs is those extra pounds I have gained ever since I started chemo before surgery. I wasn't a cute little slender girl to start with but I wasn't too fat and didn't look this unattractive with too much extra weight. I think my feet just aren't used to carrying this heavy upper body!

    Mags,
    I didn't know you are taking Zoladex. I've been on one of the LHRH drugs named Lupron as well since February along with Tamoxifen. Today I went in for Taxol, I asked my oncologist what he thinks is mainly causing hot flashes and his answer was "I think it's definitely Lupron".
    Thanks for the great pic, it really helped me feel cool!

    Carrie,
    Did you say I should imagine you sending you a cool breeze from Ohio? Gosh didn't you know I'm terrible at geography? You should have mentioned first where Ohio is! *lol*

    Anyways hope y'all have a great and restful weekend.

    Hugs,
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    Well I am back! Thanks for the warm wishes! I did not find any new Clarks before the convention but on the way home we stopped at an outmall and DH sprung for Two Pair!

    The Alamo is breathtaking at night! We got to hear a 9/11 pentagon survivor speak, I met him later. All I can say is to be with 7000 Texans in San Antonio with Starbucks, Schlotzkys and the Alamo is wonderful! We are just too proud and when you get a bunch of us together it is like nothing you can imagine, George Straight music blarring, cowboy hats and of course enough Tex Mex to fill the Cowboy Stadium!

    San Antonio has a wonderful Downtown that is clean and safe, we made friends with the trolley driver. He gave me directions to the nearest Walmart! So anyone thinking of getting away SA is a great trip.


    Here is a site that has our restaurant and the La Villita that we went through every morning to get to the convention center. An added bonus is the great pix of the alamo! We go back and forth to lunch on the river walk, honestly there is nothing like SA and the river walk I have seen!

    San Antonio
    Mags,

    You make me want to go to Greece more and more each day, we are water people! And Foodies, so it is a wonderful spot!

    Fumi,
    I am so sorry you are not feeling better! Treatment is the pits! I am so sorry!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Cowgirl - I feel your excitement through your post .. and have to say - I think that's the longest post that you've ever written !

    Glad to hear you had such a good time. I've been to San Antonio before (only for a weekend) - but agree that it is a wonderful city - the river walk is wonderful!!

    Mags, I have to agree with cowgirl... I love the pictures of Greece ... and have to say I'd love to go there some day... stunning scenery!!

    Fumi, I hope you're feeling better...

    I feel like an old lady - particularly if I forget to take my glucosamine ... it's amazing .. I notice the achy joints so much more if I do not take it! (knees, elbows, finger joints ...)

    Hope you had a wonderful weekend...
    Hugs,
    Doreen
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    awww Doreen I think you are right, the only other one would be illegal aliens. But you know I spent three days being a proud mom of a page so my chest was pretty full! I checked on how he did and the Senate District that he helped said he was a great kid!

    He wants to go next time, so I was glad he had a great time!
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Doreen,
    Denise is taking Armidex and also a pill she has to take
    once a month for bone loss. She is very achey after a couple of days taking her bone loss med, and just achey all the time , mostly when she has been sitting or sleeping.
    Do you know if glucosamine would be safe for her to take
    too?

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Carrie - I think it would be safe... but she should check with her onc or whoever has her on the bone loss meds. I've discussed taking glocosamine with my onc and my gyn - my gyn was talking to me about some studies - the big thing was that they had to make their own to ensure everyone was getting the same potency. It really does make a huge difference for me ...

    Hugs,
    Doreen
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Hi everyone,
    Well today I go find out if I will be okay to take the drugs for the Stellar Study. I have to be there at 12:00
    I am not sure all I will be doing today, I did a peliminary
    interview a few weeks back and they said I sounded like a good canadite, next I guess a fsh test.

    I am nervous about all this, I know I am being a baby but I have seen the side effects, and read about them here.
    But I am more afraid of BC . It is a little different taking a med that might make you feel like crap for something you might get, than taking meds that make you feel crappy to keep you from a recurrance because I think I could talk myself right out of doing this!

    Okay sorry guys, you have had to endure so much more and I am whinning, go ahead thunk me upside the head !
    I am being a scaredy cat !

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    Doreen,
    I have heard mixed stuff about glucosamine with chemo, but I love it. But I am not on chemo either, I hope you find something that helps!

    Carrie how did it go? You are allowed to whine when such a big step is ahead!

    Off to move Mom (yikes!!!!), imagine me and the boys driving a uhaul to assisted living where youngest swears people stare too much. I am wearing TD's John Deere shirt for good luck! I wore on Goat Show day!

    Have a good day my friends!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Cowgirl - I'm not on chemo ... and as you know - our oncs review all of our meds that we're taking.. and will tell us if we should stop taking them based on what treatments we have. As always.. we need to check with our doctors on everything.

    Carrie - you are not being whiney - you have every right to be concerned and worried about side effects... I don't think you should minimize the situation ... I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm thinking ...

    Hugs,
    Doreen
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Hi everyone
    Thank you Cowgirl and Doreen for letting me have my waa - waa party. All that happened today was they did my risk assesment fed me lunch and gave me a pretty candle and more info.

    The study is for post menapausal women they will be giving me a fsh test as I had a hysterectomy don't know when? The drugs that are being tested are Letrozole and Ralozifene
    The study is called the P4 at this time because it was also tested on prostrate cancer ?
    They did my Individual risk assesment as you must score at least a 1.7% 5 year risk factor score, be 35 or older, and like I said before post menapausal

    My five yr risk is: 4.6%
    average woman risk is: 1.1%

    My life time risk is :35.2%
    averager woman risk is: 11.6%

    So I guess so far I qualify eeekkk!!

    Doreen thanks for the info on the glucosamine
    I will pass this on to Denise and she can ask her Onc
    about it

    Cowgirl good luck with the moving today I will be glad when Mom is all moved in, it will be a big relief for you not having to worry so much about her all the time! and you can spend more time with your family.
    And don't fuss with me but be careful with your arm please.
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    Doreen, thanks for that imformation. I have to go to my PCP this summer and get him to go over my supplements too. I had heard that glucosamine was iffy but I hadnt paid attention(hard to imagine I know!).

    Mom is officially moved, and I am idiot! Not that this is a newsflash only a confirmation. I forgot to pack one stinking glass or cup. She has nothing to take her meds with!

    So today is the "I forgot this stuff move", which is more than I care to admit!

    Carrie the good news is you will get all kinds of goodies. Mom was loaded with stuff, I never saw so many pretty things. The bad news is you qualify. Regardless I think this is best for you. It is a proactive choice you need to do, and I am proud of you being willing to do it!
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    I just wanted to bump this up. Don't want to lose our
    What the Heck!
    Thanks Cowgirl and Doreen for the encouragemnet.

    Mags I read in the guy thread you are getting ready for some testing and you are 2 years out

    WOO-HOO Mags !!! We need to have a cyber party after you get throught the scans and poking and crap.

    How are you all doing ? I think of you all and check here
    everday .

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    Checking in for a second, you are so right Carrie we have to keep this thread going, our first documented all the beginning despair of BC and the journey! I just hate we lost it!

    I am doing fine, my stinkin frozen shoulder is acting up. My brother is coming today, can hardly wait! I went shopping yesterday, bought clothes, went to a wedding shower and watched Memoirs of a Geisha. It was beautiful hard to understand but beautiful. Fumi I could have used a semi translator!
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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited June 2006
    Well... I think the subject of this thread is "What the heck!" so I guess I'm allowed to scream here.

    What the heck??? Where is a cure? Why do we have to continue losing our precious sisters to this damn disease? Bloody hell! What a bullshit! Life is full of crap. Why does it have to be this hard and tough for good people? Tell me what they did to deserve this? I'm angry as hell!!!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Fumi - I'm right there with you screaming away ... I want a CURE ... I'm tired of losing our sisters to this terrible disease.... !!! I am soooooo sad ... it is terrible... and I HATE that we even have to be discussing this...

    I want a cure, I want prevention ... and I want tests that accurately show what is going on with us so that if the sneaky bastard starts up again we know about it immediately when something can be done to knock it back down ... I want more research ... which means more $$$ ... not cuts in research as has happended...
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    I hate, hate, hate it too Fumi !!
    I hate what it takes
    I hate what you all have to endure to treat it
    I hate that everyone kicked around by it has to be looking over their shoulder all the time
    I am mad as hell too!!
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  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 1,358
    edited June 2006
    i'm just beside myself with anger about this whole damned mess we're all in............i hate it, hate it, hate it!

    and i HATE that there's not a damn thing we can do about it.........we can raise money, do races, change our lifestyles, pray, rage, cry....whatever, but in the end it's a crapshoot and we all know it!

    i'm so tired of looking over my shoulder and i just got done with chemo..........i'm going for a prophy mast on thursday but today i'm wondering why i'm even bothering.......why endure more loss and pain and grief if in the end it makes no difference?

    jeez.........i'm sorry for the rant! i just feel so dejected today and i know now that i'm not the only one! i geuss i've been saving that rant up for a long time........thanks for the outlet.......god please here our prayers (and rants!)
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  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 1,358
    edited June 2006

    i didn't mean to kill your thread girls, i hope i didn't! i was just sooooo mad!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Shel - you didn't kill this thread ... it's just not a very active thread ... my emotions are all over the place today... anger, sadness ... and grateful for all the love, support and emotions able to be expressed here...
    Doreen
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  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 1,358
    edited June 2006

    thanks doreen............i'm just "mad as hell" today and found an outlet but didn't want to ruin your thread!

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Shel ,
    you didn't ruin the thread .
    I too am upset today. I prayed for Lu and others and I am just sad and mad.
    It's good to get it out say how you feel and today I feel mad at this crappy beyond words beast!!

    Come back again any time you are welcomed.

    Carrie
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  • marla13
    marla13 Member Posts: 128
    edited June 2006
    I think we are all upset and shaken EVERY TIME we lose a sister to this!!! It's like a reality check! I hate cancer too and wish they would hurry hurry hurry so we don't lose any more precious ladies to this monster! I am thankful that bc tx has come this far, but angry because we need it to advance more, and quickly!

    I am praying for peace for FighterLu's family as well as friends (personal and on this site). Prayers are going up for all who were touched by this wonderful sister!

    Hugs to all! God help us all find peace in this!
    Marla
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006
    Fumi,
    I just love it when you get mad! It makes me realise how much we have left to do! A cure is the only hope to keep from women dying!

    Shel honestly if I haven't killed this thread do you think you can?????? My reputation is without competition!

    Before a cure,prayer is my comfort. I know God hears my pleas, hard to explain it but just like bluekitten I know he listens to our good days and bad.
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  • blulrich
    blulrich Member Posts: 66
    edited June 2006
    Hi all.

    I just finished glancing over the last few posts. I agree. There doesn't seem to be a lot of progress in the cure, prevention, or dx areas for BC. Sometimes I think if it effected more men (as I know it does effect some men) it would be higher on the priority list. In school a couple of semesters ago, I was taught that since our's in a male dominated society, women's health issues have mostly been passed off as hormones or hysteria instead of real medical conditions. It wasn't until the well into the 20th century that women's health was even seriously looked at (that's from Philosophy of Science). Even, so . . .

    I thought I'd spread some good news. Mom's last rad treatment is Monday! She finished the left side yesterday and will finish the right Monday. She's pretty raw, but the end is in sight! With her history, she'll have to look over both shoulders and in the rear view mirror for a long time, but at least she'll be through with this time.

    Carrie-- I'm glad you can get into a study, but sheesh! Your risk is high!

    Cowgirl -- Sorry to hear your shoulder is acting up. Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy your brother's visit. I (hopefully) go to Ortho Thursday. My shoulder hasn't been bad, but it still hurts sometimes. Hopefully he'll be able to tell me something.

    My gripe -- doctor's that tell you "the tests are normal" when you know something's not right and you feel like crap! I've had that from every doctor except one since the second week in Jan (and she was an onc surgeon! If I feel like crap and the doctors tell me I look like crap and I have unmistakable signs of being sick (fever, weight loss, etc) why are all my test results normal?!

    If anyone has an answer, please feel free to share.
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Hi everyone,
    I am feeling better today , I got myself in a funk.
    I hope you are all feeling better today too?
    But I am still mad at this crap, I don't think that will ever go away.


    I am glad we have somewhere we can rant and rage at the injustice of this all, and people understand and allow you your feelings. I care for you all.

    Blu ~
    Hi sweetie, I am glad you joined us here and yes my dear you most certainly have had your share of frustration trying to find answers. I wish I knew something better to tell you than don't let them blow you off keep trying for answers


    I am thinking of you all and hope you are having a better day today!

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • blulrich
    blulrich Member Posts: 66
    edited June 2006
    Carrie --
    I've been buiser than a one-armed wallpaper hanger, but I'm still around. Sorry to hear about your funk. What color was it? Mine tends to be green and purple polka-dots with orange fur on the edge. I keep it in the closet, but the kids drag it out and I trip on it every once in a while.

    My class (Thermodynamics) is about to melt my brain, but it will all be over soon. I'll post with Ortho news tomorrow.

    3 days left of mom's rads!
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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited June 2006
    I hate that I have to work like 16 hours a day.
    I hate that I have to work overtime everyday till midnight because all my coworkers are too dumb and never try to learn anything new and just make me take care of their job just because I'm female and the youngest.
    I hate that I have never been paid for my overtime hours and will never be either.
    I hate that I still have to stick to my current job because I won't be able to get a new one under this too bad economy.
    I hate that I can't quit my job because there's no one being able to financially support me.
    I hate that I would still have to continue to work (most likely till I die) even if this damn disease hit me again.
    I hate that I can't even buy a thing for my own fun no matter how hard I work because I have tons of bills to pay for my treatments.
    I hate that too bad things do happen to good people.
    I hate that I've got this nasty cold.
    I hate that people can be too ignorant and thoughtless.
    I hate that I feel like I've been ignored.
    I hate that I feel like I keep doing things in vain.
    I hate that I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
    I hate that I have absolutely no prospects of getting married or having my own kids even though I have never ever wanted to live solo.
    I hate that sometimes people make it sound like mothers should deserve longer lives than those of us who aren't mothers.
    I hate that most people have no idea how hard it is to fight this battle without having anyone to look forward to seeing grow up and to share a life with.
    I hate that I feel like this way.
    I hate that I am hurt.


    I hate everything.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    Oh Fumi.... I hate that you are feeling so down and crappy. You belong here... we care about you ... I hate that you're feeling this way and working so hard ... and fighting cancer ... I wish you didn't have to do any of that ...

    Please know that you are loved here...
    Can you take a break from work for a bit ?? Those long stressful hours are not good for your health ... each one of us is valued - even if we are not a mother ... I'm solo too... and don't live near my family ... I do have several really close friends ... and some with kids - so I feel like an Aunt ...

    Sending lots of hugs to you ... and hope they help you to feel a little better...
    Doreen
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    I hope it's okay for me to come in here -- this seems like such a nice, safe place, and I'm always looking for one of those.

    Fumi, I don't know you yet, haven't answered anything where you've posted but today I just felt like I needed to send you a hug from Canada all the way to Japan ~

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((a Sherry hug))))))))))))))))))))))))

    that's the kind of hug where I've got both my arms holding you close, I'm rubbing your back (because my mom used to do that to me when I was a little girl and I've always loved that kind of hug best, especially when I was having a day that I felt so down) and there's a gentle rock that goes with that.

    Because at the end of the day, how you feel is how you feel and nothing anyone can say or do will really take that away. It will go when you're ready for it to go...like that black cloud that sometimes hangs over Winnie-the-Pooh's head and then "poof" it's gone.

    And all I can say is that I hate that everything is hurting so bad for you.

    As for feeling like you don't belong anywhere, I think you are one of the nicest people, you come across as so sweet and loving and if you belong anywhere, it's right here.

    And I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you with some warmth beginning to melt the edges around your heart.
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  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited June 2006
    Oh Fumi
    I did not
    realize you
    were still
    under the weather

    and now
    feeling blue

    So sorry
    my friend

    Sending you
    bundles of
    hugs and hopes
    that you can
    take a little
    time off....we all
    get overwhelmed
    and have to take
    some breaks....

    I am going
    to rant away now

    I hate that
    my friend Fumi
    is feeling like crap~~

    Ok ..I hope
    you feel better
    in the am....

    I sent you
    an email earlier
    not realizing that
    you were feeling
    so bad~~~you can put things
    on hold with the video
    until you feel
    better

    sweet dreams
    we are all holding
    your hand in spirit

    xoxo
    Patti
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