stage 3c caregiver daughter needs support

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1313
1313 Member Posts: 12
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Reading all of these stories has been so inspirational. My mom was diagnosed last year with stage 3c. She was on hormone pills which shrunk the tumor, but now it got bigger again. She also has some nodes in the underarm and neck that are affected. We saw a surgeon last week, she felt the nodes need to soften a bit before she would do surgery. They are starting her on Chemo this week. I am so scared for her. Will the Chemo damage her? I am an only child and don't have family close by. Anyone who can give some advise, I would appreciate it.

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    Hello 1313...can you tell me what the treatment plan is for your Mom? When does she start chemo?

    Im a 3Cer too...Ugly C was all over the place. I went through the most aggressive treatment they could give me...and so far, so Good!! There are lots of us here who could give you advice...so keep asking questions and telling us how mom is doing. And of course...how YOU are doing.

    The hardest part of this entire process was seeing the suffering that my love ones endured because of my disease. The more you talk/ask, the better...make sure you take care of yourself too.

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Fuzzy Lemon, thank you for the reply and the encouragment. My Mother starts treatment Thursday. She is starting on less powerful chemo, Tamolin I believe and then moving to the strong one that starts with an A. Can cause heart problems. It is comforting to know you have a similar journey as my Mom. I might have to work days when she has treatment. Do you need assistance as the treatments go on for an aide? I am so stressed.

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  • floraD
    floraD Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2013

    Hi there 1313 - I can't offer much advice at the moment but just wanted to let you know that my mom, who is also stage 3, is starting her chemo next week. You are not alone in feeling stressed and scared, but I think these boards can provide support and info. I would say to just ask a lot of questions both of the board members and of your mom's medical team. Thinking of you. 

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Thank you Flora D. I wish your Mother the best of luck.

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Anyone who share their experiences or lend support, would be so appreciated.

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited January 2013

    1313 and Flora, so sorry you're going through this.

    I had the A chemo I think you're talking about (Adriamycin) and a lot of us with stage III have that one in combination with a couple of others.  It does have potential for side effects, but most of us have gotten through it just fine, and I'm sure the doctors will be keeping a close eye on your mom to make sure if she does have side effects they are able to act quickly. 

    During chemo, I definitely wasn't 100% but chemo wasn't as terrible as I had expected and the worst part is over after a few days (until the next infusion).  Also, my doctors were excellent at addressing (and preventing) problems--there's a lot of stuff out there they can give your mom to feel better while she goes through this!

    Praying for excellent outcomes for your moms!

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Roses,



    Thanks for the note. She will be taking the one you took and I believe Tamoflex first.



    Were you able to leave treatment yourself?

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    1313....hello again.  I was not able to take myself to the Adriymiacin & Cytoxin (sp?) treatments, but I was able to take myself to and from the Taxol treatments.  I also took myself to every radiation treatment.  Now, is there anyone who will help mom if it is rough on her? 

    I would like to tell you to stay away from statistics, stay away from all the possible side effects ... if she has any side effects, the doctors will jump all over them.  Statistics are a bunch of crap if you ask me.  There are real things that may scare you - "possible" things are not real so try really hard not to let those take root. 

    Has mom checked out the Shopping Before Chemotherapy thread?  Great information there.  She may want to make sure she has pain killers ordered, filled and ready for the taking - sometimes the bone pain is a little intense...and the timing on the anti nausea medication is really important (and kinda confusing).  So, you might help her create an easy way to take them, and take them on time.

    Gosh...I think we all could just load information on you like crazy!!  LOL  Keep asking questions.  I have this listed as one of my favorites so I can respond to you if you need.

    Tell mom to get on the boards...she'll feel very connected to a huge group of women who get it...

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited January 2013

    Hi 1313 and Flora,



    Bless you both for being here for your Mom's! I too had "the big guns" as they say---4 dose dense rounds of A/C (same as the Fuzz had :)) followed by 4 dose dense rounds of Taxol. The A/C was definitely harder for me than the Taxol. I felt pretty crummy from tx day for about a week out, then started to feel better. It would be very helpful for your Mom to have someone to take her if possible. Is there a local outreach center where you are? Check with your Mom's oncologist on what their thought process is.



    I haven't heard of hormone pills to shrink tumors pre-surgery, here in the States it's usually chemo used to shrink the tumor then surgery, or surgery then chemo. Are you out of th US?



    I wish you ladies and your Moms peace and strength through this journey. Please take care of yourselves as well. You will get through this. Please ask any questions you may have. It's nice to be able to give back something back after all the strength and guidance I have received myself from the lovely ladies here.



    Take care,

    Sharon

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    Hey Sharon!!! How ya doin' sweetie?

    1313....pupfoster has helped me many many times on my little ride! She's a great example of the beautiful people here...

    Is moms hospital recognized for BC treatment? I wanted to ask where you were from but I wasn't sure if you wanted that out there....

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  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 443
    edited January 2013

    Just curious. How old are you? I was the caregiver for my Mom too.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited January 2013

    I had FEC, which has a drug, epirubicin, that is similar to the adriamycin. I pretty much sailed through 4 treatments of that. After my surgery I had 4 treatments with taxotere, and I found that more difficult for some reason.

    I agree with fuzzy about taking the anti-puke meds religiously. My onc was very specific about when to take them. I was on a strict schedule from the beginning and they gave me emend during the chemo as well. For me it worked. I never even managed to get nauseated through 6 months of chemo.

    I also agree about dealing with any SEs as they crop up. My docs were good about helping (as long as I said something). Chemo was not exactly fun or anything, but all in all, I did not have any crippling or super-awful SEs.

    Oh, and tell her that anytime she feels like taking a nap, she should take it. Sleep does tend to get disrupted, and you do get tired, so it is good to rest whenever you can. I also set a food schedule, to make sure I ate at regular times and something decently nutritious, protein is important. Water is a must, as much as you can handle. Exercise, even if it  just a walk around the block helps against fatigue and improves your state of mind.

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Fuzzylemon, Thanks for the tips, you are very kind. My Mother got the biopsy for the third tumor yesterday and this one is estrogen receptor negative.  This is why it is not responding to the hormone pills and they recommended chemo do you or anyone on the boards have had this in Stage III and seen the tumor shrink?

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Momine,

    Thanks for the reply and the support.  My Mother's third tumor was just biopsied and they found it is stage III hormone receptor negative. This is why the hormone pills aren't working. Have you know any one that has both hormone postive receptor and hormone negative receptor cancer?

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Cleemoon,

    Thanks for the post.

    I am in my thirties and an only child.  I have no family close, so I am doing all this myself. Trying to gain as much knowledge as possible.

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  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 443
    edited January 2013

    Your Mom is lucky to have u :) I was the "researcher" and primary emotional support for my Mom when she was fighting Stage IV. 

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Thank you. You sound very dedicated as well!

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    1313....that's why the biopsy is so important...that way they can determine the correct course for treatment (as you found out since the tumor waasn't responding!)  I have read many stories about chemo shrinking tumors but I don't know anyone with positive and negative markers...but that doesn't mean they are not out there....I just maybe didn't pay close enough attention...You might consider starting a thread specifically about that...I'll look around to and see what I can find.

    You can do this...even on your own.  Somehow, it just works out.  I was the only caregiver for my mom in some really challenging situations....she'd PKD, not the Ugly C, but caregiving is caregiving.  Information is powerful stuff so just make sure it's information that is helpful....not destructive :)

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Thanks for the reply Fuzzylemon. My Mom starts Chemo in 48 hours and I am so nervous not knowing how she will react, or what she can eat. I read everything has to be cooked well, so you don't get sick or an infection.

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    Oh boy...48 hours and it will be ONE DOWN!! Many of us didn't feel too much different After round one...round two was where I was changed. Day 17 my hair follicles opened up! LOL

    Hows mom feeling? Is she ready? Is she talking freely with you? I think you are just Great...doing all this for her. She definitely raised you right.

    If you need to talk, or if mom needs to talk, I'd be happy to pm you my number. I don't know nearly as much as a lot of my sisters here, but I've been There, done that!

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    BTW....she may get a booster for her blood cells but I wouldn't compromise her health in any way - food poisoning would be really really bad....catching a cold Would be too. And, this flu that's all over the globe is a biggie....maybe a face mask for her? I'd just be super super careful....hand washing....clean counters...you know!

    Check in your area if the have Cleaning for a Reason service....they clean houses for free for cancer patients...

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Fuzzylemon,

    Thanks for all of the tips. My Mother is a very positive person and has excepted this as a way for her to continue to live.  I am just upset watching her go through this and also be the only caretaker for her. I would love to chat one day if that is ok.

    Thanks for all the tips.

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  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited January 2013

    I sincerely hope you get to see how strong you and your mother actually are.  It's an aweful way to find out but there is magic in this brutality...you and your mother will probably become even closer than you are.  It is something that cannot be experienced unless you are in the line of fire...it's quite special....

    I will PM you my number. 

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  • 1313
    1313 Member Posts: 12
    edited January 2013

    Hi Fuzzylemon and all who have written to me. Thank you for the support. My Mother starts Chemo today and I am praying that all goes, as well as can be and the tumor/mass shrinks.

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