Present/cheering up ideas - please help!

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Secretsanta
Secretsanta Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hi

Someone I know has very recently been diagnosed with breast cancer , probably stage 3. It's pretty bad and she has young kids.

Anyway I don't want to say too much about it in case she is on here! I've had an idea to send her messages in the mail every couple of days to cheer her up. The problem is I don't know what to send! It just has to be stuff to cheer her up. I don't want to just send meaningful quotes, as its a bit sappy (tho some would be ok) and I don't want to send food, as she starts chemo next week.

So any ideas? It can be simple, I'm even thinking of pictures of flowers! Just something to make her smile.



Thanks so much in advance.

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Comments

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited January 2013

    Sorry to hear that your friend has been dx.I like your idea. My sisters would surprise me with flowers every once in a while. Another thought is to just sit with her and have some tea/coffee and lend an ear if she wants to talk about her dx, or just talk about everyday life. Sometimes we forget that there is a "non-cancer" life that still goes on. Also if you are able and she is willing to let you, helping out with some of the housework, cooking, childcare, transportation, shopping, etc. Food isn't a bad idea as the rest of the family will need to eat and to be able to pull a ready made meal out of the freezer and pop it in the oven is a great time and energy saver.

    Remember that if you are going to visit or stop by her place, please give her a call first to see if she is up to it. Surprise visits aren't always welcomed, even if the visitor is bearing gifts.

    I hope that your friend responds well to tx with few or no side effects.

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  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited January 2013

    It sounds like you want to send something through the mail. I think that is a good idea. I like lots of the cartoons or jokes that I see on line. Some about dogs make me happy. I live pictures of flowers amd like to read News of the Weird, it makes me smile. All of those sort of things would probably be welcomed.  Your willingness to do some family chores would probably be very welcome but arrange it for a time of day your friend is comfortable with. My sleep schedule went awry during chemo especially with me sleeping very late and going to bed at dawn.  

    I am sure your friend will be very happy to hear from you. 

    Ginger

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited January 2013

    I would have been happy to get a simple text from my friends. A simple thinking of you would have worked. My friends dropped off face of earth. Anything is better than nothing

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  • Margi1959
    Margi1959 Member Posts: 178
    edited January 2013

    I agree with fredntan - just stay in touch and let her know you're there however she needs you to be.  When my Mum was diagnosed with her third and final round of cancer, some of her friends appeared to think she was contagious.  For her, it was really important to know that she still had an army behind her and that she was still "her".  Cancer is a game-changer and it really does let one know who their true friends are.  Be that person for your friend.

    Margi

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  • billyb
    billyb Member Posts: 14
    edited January 2013

    Well, The first thing I would do: Is tell her I went on a cancer site to get more informed on breast cancer then fill in the blanks there, depending on the level of your relationship. The list goes on and on what people have done for my wife and I, ( from a simple note to full course meals and then some ) I think the most important thing I learned in the beginning of our journey ( May 2007 ) was what came out of my mouth. It took my wife about 4 years to take her wig off in front of me. Cancer messes with people Physicaly, Mentaly, Emotionaly, Financially. From the time the doctor say its cancer, to deciding to have your breast or breasts removed, Plastic Surgary, Chemo, Radiation, along with a list of other life changing things, all going on one after another ( they will probly be pretty aggressive if it is Stage 3 ) SO ARE YOU CATCHING MY DRIFT......... I KNOW YOU CARE........ Just by comeing on here and asking for advice.....SO WILL YOUR FRIEND..........you helped me tonight.

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited January 2013

    I think that cards just to show you're thinking of her are great, getting one always cheered me up! I also had a secret santa from work that sent me flowers the day after each round of chemo. It took me months to figure out who it was. Two years later, I still appreciate her kindness. Your friend will appreciate anything.

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  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 5,056
    edited January 2013

    Cards -- thinking of you.   Emails, texts.   I would be cautious of flowers - smells bothered me a Lot during chemo tx and I am allergic to pollen.   

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