Newly diagnosed, starting chemo and have two young boys

Hi Honey. As far as chemo choices, Alot depends on if your Tumor is Hormone positive or negative. Speak to your Oncologist and ascertain  what Chemo he is recomending  and WHY?

Check the boards here for newly diagnosed too . Lots of good information here.

Aas far as the HER2 postive component. Although this is aggressive with the advent of Herceptin treatment. It has pretty much stopped HER2 amplified BCin it's tracks. I am 7.5 yrs out of  a late stage BC dx and perfectly fine. You will be too,Take one day at a time.

My son was four when I was DX two years ago...I know how scary this is!  I had TCx4 so I can't help you with the other chemos so much.  I just wanted to send a cyber hug!  Take a deep breath....take this one step at a time.  Good luck!

The what ifs are there, but in time they don't visit as often.  I started doing yoga to clear my head in addition to my other workouts.  It has really helped keep my head clear and full of positive thoughts.  I also take effexor for hot flashes and it has also helped chill me out.  I am almost 2 years out now and I am doing great and life is good!!  Give yourself some time....the beginning is the hardest part!

jkeller3, I was diagnosed 9 days aftr you were and I'm HER2+.  I had to fight to get a mammaprint that my doctor had never ordered. It's a test specially made for HEr2+ women who are node neg and stage 1.  I dont know anything about your diagnosis but please get a seond opinion. Google different radiation therapy options that dont radiate you for 7 weeks and dont shrink your skin, tissue etc.. read about and request a mammaprint as they are now saying more than half of stage one node neg folks who are being treated with "the standard of care" dont need chemo.  A few years ago the standard of care for any node neg stage 1 breast cancer patient wasn't necessairly chemo, so what if "their standard" of care changes ince again after your treatment?  Alos 20 percent od all HER2+ patients end up being HER2- when retested.  With a mammaprint thats FDA approved since 2007 you also get a blue print that determines for sure if your HER2 positive or not.  It also determines what kind of chemo you should get and please find out who is close to you (an oncologist) who practices new medicine, honors and knows how to read/treat patients based on their mammaprint and is willing to give you standardized chemo and or treatmnt specific to you.  the standard of care and all the percentages have the mean age of 61. Are you 61?  If you're not noneof the susrvival rates that they advertise and effects of this, that and or the other pertain to you.  I haven't found one study of a group of 5 thousand 30 year olds yet! Please dont rush, oncs make their living off of you and me and whomever else is hookd up to a bag for a year or two.  I'm not a doctor and I'm not saying you dod or dont need chemo, I'm just saying the standard of care is for the mean age of 61 and if theyre treating you (if youre stage 1) the same way they would treat someone who is stage 3 or 4, I would do a little bit of research and go to doctors who are also teaching in a university and are up to date with the latest and not stuck in their own routine.  All the money that is spent on breast cancer research every year is for the soul purpose of reducing the number of women who are dying from breast cancer and the number of women who are over treated.  The survival rate has ony increased 6%.  So if they are saving women from dying from breast cancer, they must be killing them eventually with over treatment, and I myself could potentially become one of those women, unless I'm lucky enough to fall in that 6% category who get saved and survive. Very rarely will an oncologist will ever refuse to give a breast cancer patient chemo or tell them they dont need it, they are now saying that 90% of women who are stage1 node neg dont need chemo and Herceptine alone is sufficient.  Studies also indicate that after a lumpectomy if you went home and never saw another doctor again, you have a 60 chance of having no reaccurance associated with your breast cancer diagnosis; please do everything you can in your power, push every button there is to push, make as many phone calls, aggrevate those who dont want to be bothered until you exhaust all your options and can find out to the best of your knowledge that you are not one of the 60% women overall or the 90% HER2+ patients who didnt need chemo.  Also find out about the peguin cold cap that will prevent your hair from falling out and order it if you can afford it, it works.  I wonder why doctors dont tell their patients about it?  Ok so some cells might remain in the scalp, whos ever had scalp cancer?  If the cancer cells are running around in the blood stream, why aren't they able to find them with a simple blood test?  I thought they seattle in the bones, here or there and grow.  Oncologists also dont tell you that chemo at its best is only 20% effective, meaning 80 out of 100 patients who receive it daily still will have recurrance or new cancer develope even after chemo, so let my chances be 19% and 20% but allow me the option to keep my hair if I want!  Anyway, again to everyone who doesn't agree with my opinion, its just my opinion but its based on facts and "the standard of care" facts not fiction.

Hi, I have just been diagnosed with BC in both breasts, lymph nodes and behind chest wall. I have two grade 3 tumours in the right breast and 1 grade 2 in the left breast. We are waiting for my HER2 results, all I know is that is was borderline.  I have an adorable 4 year old son and wonderful husband whom I love very much. I have been booked in for a double mastectomy tomorrow ( they will not do reconstructin yet as they can't physically get to the chest wall cancer and so my best chance with radiotherapy is to delay reconstruction). My surgeon keeps chaning his mind on whether or not I should have chemo first or surgery first, he says he is waiting for the HER2 results, but now I just got an call saying that the results are not in yet and he is going to do the surgery anyway. I'm scared, confused and so very desperate. Could really do with some comment of strenghth or information. Thx

Hi....I'm in the same boat you are. I was diagnosed 12-22-11 I'm not here that often but if you would like to email me directly feel free to do so. sheila.barbier@gmail.com

I suggest you journal.....go to caringbridge and document everything you are going through!! I've only shared my story with a few people. My Husband and kids have not ever read it....its a place to kinda get your true feelings out. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sheilabarbier/mystory Email me anytime.....I've been through it alllllllll

I was 35 and my kids were 6 and 5 when I was diagnosed.  The one thing I wish everyone had told me was that there will likely be times you will feel horrible.  Expect to spend a lot of time in bed and be pleased when your days are better than that.  I had always been the breadwinner and the supermom in my family and I expected to continue to do so throughout breast cancer.  Afterall, when they hear about your cancer everyone wants to tell you about their neighbor or friend who went through chemo and never missed a day of work!  When I did AC + T chemo my body did not react well.  I was very anemic and neutropenic and felt like a failure because I could not do chemo and maintain my normally hectic life.  Everyone wants to tell you to have a positive attitude and you will feel better.  Well, what I learned is that sometimes having a positive attitude means you endure a tough day so you can get closer to that day when you are well again, not just denying that you ever feel bad.

Now, about the kids.  My 6 year old understood that people die of cancer.  She had a super tough time with it and benefited a lot from counseling.  She did not want to see the doctors or chemo sessions and we honored that, but I was sure to praise her for helping me at home.  Since my chemo was neoadjuvant, I had not been staged and metastatic disease had not been ruled out.  My blessed daughter did ask me, "Are you going to die, Mom?"  I will never forget that heartbreaking moment.  I did not make a promise I couldn't keep, but I didn't want her to bear that burden of worry.  I told her that I didn't think so and explained how chemo was making me sick to make me better.  I promised her that I was going to try to beat the cancer with everything I had.  Then, I made a big deal about every medical victory to reinforce the idea of survival.

My 5 year old did not really understand the gravity of the situation and that was just fine.  He was very sad about my hair being gone, though.  He enjoyed going with me to chemo and watching a movie on his DVD player. I made a big deal about how much he helped me with the chemo sessions.

They were both really clingy through that time and they still are.  I just try to go with that and give them all the affection and attention I can.

I would say plan at the outset for it to suck, then be pleased with the days that aren't so bad .  Plan to need and accept help.  Plan for others to do activities (movies, park, etc) with your kids sometimes so they can get out and forget about cancer when you don't have the energy.  Above all, remind yourself and them that it is temporary and you will feel better and life will get back to normal after you get through this tough time.  You can do it!

My mantra throughout was, "I'm raising those kids."  Now, three years later, I am NED (my hair is long) and I am raising those kids!  You can do it!

One more thing........Are you getting a port? I highly recommend that you do so......I know a lot of people do or they don't. Please look into it, and see if it's good for you!!! The chemo is a powerful drug......it does get rid of the bad and part of the good! LOL Please look into getting a port if you haven't already. It will take less stress off of your arms!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!!! Stay strong, and if you are close with your husband, confide in him everything....your fears......just everything. He will be your pillow, your rock......if you have just one person to get you through this year coming ahead for you, you will get through this!!! Right now....clean your butt off....it's a good stress reliever, and after chemo starts.....you won't have the energy you have now! Just a little tip of advice!!! LOL XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

JKeller, 

They're the first thing you think of, aren't they?  My kids were just 2 and not quite 3-1/2 when I was diagnosed with a stage III ER+, PR-, HER2- cancer.  I don't share the HER2+ with you, but I understand the fear and the particular fear about kids.  

I worried about two main things.  Would I be around for them, and would they be OK during my treatment.  So far, I'm still around, and still try to do every damn thing I can do to maximize my odds of being alive as long as possible for them.  We did get through treatment.  I had a VERY hard time with chemo.  Some people will say, "Oh, it was easy, I worked through it."  Don't count on having any particular experience.  Some people DO work through it, others, like me, lose 20% of their body weight, end up in the hospital . . . hard stuff like that.  It was essential that I had support.  We had a different family member stay with us for at least a week for each infusion.  We never turned down offers for help.  I hope you have a good support system - don't be afraid to use it.

And I second (or third?) the port.  Con's:  another scar, risk of infection, risk of causing abnormal heart rhythms (which you as a young person would probably tolerate), very rare risk of poking a hole in something especially during placement.  Pro's:  you don't ruin your veins, IV access is easy even if you are sick, dehydrated, or have used up all your veins.  

My 3 year old had a hard time with my diagnosis.  She was old enough to understand I was very sick.  We used a lot of books to help her get her questions out.  There's an entire genre of "mom has breast cancer" books.  We read all of them.  I would say they all had something to offer except one called something like "Tabitha Tickles," in which the dad was just a JERK.  Reading the books did help open up ways to talk about the cancer with my daughter.  Young kids have worries that would never occur to me, not just whether or not mom will die.  Did they cause it?  Can they catch it?  Stuff like that.  My daughter thought she had caused the cancer because she remembered biting my breast, which was heartbreaking to hear, but at least she mentioned it.  I'm so glad we had the opportunity for me to let her know her specific ation hadn't caused it.

I hope this is helpful.  

Hi!

So sorry you have had to join this club. Ther is life after breast cancer, just take it one day at a time. I would highly encourage you to look at attending C4YW (The Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer co-hosted by Young Survival Coalition (www.youngsurvival.org) and Living Beyond Breast Cancer. It is February 22-24 just outside Seattle, WA. There are scholarships to attend! Visit http://www.c4yw.org/ for more information about the sessions, register or apply for a scholarship. It is an event full of young women just like you -some are just starting treatment, some are in the middle of treatment and others are years out (which was so inspiring when I was going through my treatments). I am Her2+, but back in 1999, Herceptin was still in trials. It has really made a remarkable for difference for women who are Her2+.

Jen Johnson

13 year survivor (diagnosed at 27)

Hi JKeller,

I was diagnosed at the end of Nov and had a nipple sparing skin sparing mastectomy mid Dec (a great Christmas present!).  I also have 2 young kids (15 months and 4).  I had my first chemo yesterday.  I am not HER2+ but I just wanted to chime in to let you know I feel for you and that I understand your worries and fears very well.  This is a terrible disease for anyone to be diagnosed with and I suspect harder to understand when it strikes early.  It runs in my family, but I thought I would be off-limits until my 60’s. WRONG!

My thoughts everyday move to "how will my kids cope if I am not here?" It's natural (I have discovered from reading these boards) to have these horrendous thoughts and a fear of recurrence.  The good news is that not even 2 months since my diagnosis I am starting to become more optimistic about my prognosis and future. I know I will worry for the rest of my life but am trying to enjoy the little moments more - jokes with my 4 year old, and the smell and cuddles of my youngest. It helps. I am also trying hard not to get too riled by our first world problems!

I have also been watching the January chemo board and posting a little on there.  There will be terrible days ahead of us during treatment I am sure – made worse by the demands of small kids, but hang in there and do the things people tell you to do – take all the help you can get – meals, childcare etc.  And, the washing will wait!  I managed to get a casual care day for my youngest at the childcare centre that looks after my kids (I had them there 2 days when I was working) and although I felt guilty for sending her, she loves it there and I had a day at home with my oldest.  It was bliss.  He was able to watch a DVD while I had a nana nap. Even if you are one kid down from time to time, it helps J

Good luck with it all and if you ever want to compare notes on the demands of young kids and cancer treatment, I’m happy for you to PM me.

Hang in there and sending you lots of love and good wishes for your treatment.

Big hugs,

Jubby 

Hi Girls,

I'm back home after a few days in the hospital. I was doing pretty well in the hospital but my first day at home and it seems that my arm and hand on the lymph node removal side is doing funny things like goint a bit numb and tingly...wierd!  Anyway I'm feeling postive and have tried on my first Marks and Spencer prosthesis bra, looked abit funny so decided to go down to a size A and found it looks more natural. My sons childminder got all the kids to make me a hugh collage of drawings around a "get well soon" foam letter, it looks so lovely and put a hugh smile on my face. His childminder said that when they were making it one of the children asked my 4 year old why his mommy was in hospital and he said "because her boobies are poorly"! Bless what a honey. Anyway hope everyone spirits are high today.