In shock

Hi ladies -

What a chatty bunch we are!!! I had a crazy busy day yesterday with the kids. Barbara welcome, we are here for u.

Didn't take notes when I read along to chat with everyone individually. Benny I hope ur feeling good., sounds like the veins are doing better for those having issues. I am sorry for not being more specific!! Love u girls !!! Hugs !!!

Barbara...YES! Everybody goes through that. When you are told you have cancer, I think it throws you off balance BIGTIME, and it takes time to regain a sense of normal. It often feels like your body has betrayed you, and it will take time to "trust" that aches and pains are normal for everyone, even "non-cancer" people. At this point, keep doing the things that make you feel "in charge", or help you to relax. Stress consumes your energy levels, so be kind to yourself and don't set expectations of  how you feel you should be "handling things". Stay away from the gloom and doom people as much as possible. We are here for you. 

Sunny here now, but still cold. Time for some fresh air though, so I'm going to dig out the nose fleece and go for a long walk.

Websister - hope the timing of things works out for you.

Edi - put those feet up and rest, girl!

Yup, totally understandable. The fact that you already know you have clear margins is a real positive for you to focus on. Breast cancer has a huge impact on our self-image as a woman, and that may be one of your biggest hurdles. Doesn't help that there have been so many stories and movies with a woman dealing with breast cancer as a tragic, doomed character. Hang in there. All of your emotions are normal, and it helps to vent in a "safe way", which is one of the beauties of these threads. You've mentioned you have a husband who is struggling too, and it's natural to try to "help" family and friends through the shock, but you also need to realize you have to do all you can for yourself first. Everything is so overwhelming right now, you can't try to bear everyone's burden. Good that you can have some thoughts about the spring, shows you are still moving forward. ((((x))))

Barbara, just want to travel through space and time and give you a big hug
As the girls have said every ache and pain is the cancer popping up everywhere, we HAVE all been there it is horribly normal.
You just be you, BC attacks your whole feminine being. I had a lumpectomy and even though I am 65 when I look in the mirror still get a shock at the dent in boob. Our beautiful sisters who have mastectomies are incredible and to be honest if they had said I needed that I would have asked for a double.
You feel as if your body has betrayed you by allowing this thing to grow inside you but if you have had lumpectomy with clear margins that is so positive
no matter what they say is next just say " ok bring it on " astound your love ones with how brave and positive you are and then when no one is around, cry, throw things, kick the cat ( joke ) and vent that way. If you feel yuk tell them !! Pull the BC card and use it to get rest and sympathy.
Also and I know this is hard to do, get your DH and get away even if just one night, have a lovely meal, stay somewhere special and try and have fun.
I did and it really helped me face the next part.
My daughter booked us a break in a swanky hotel,  told them about me and we got the honeymoon suite !! Laughed until  we cried but it was lovely.x

Websister, arm got me through today with no pain or tightness. Going to do moist heat again tonight before bed just to keep it like that. My DH sends his thanks to you as well.
Hope Mum's move doesn't happen while you are having treatments.
Snowflakes on eyelashes how lovely and snap with the prickly head.x

Nihahi, hope you got that long walk and cleared the cobwebs. Here is so much warmer so may drive down to New Brighton and walk along the promenade tomorrow.
You are so right about those Movies too. Doom and gloom. Love it if someone made a positive one where heroine kicks BC's butt and lives to be 100. But know that isn't box office.x

Dakota, Glad you ok, slow down now and chill a bit x

Benny, please please be ok ? x

Just demolished huge roast dinner, felt really hungry the past few days will soon be filling out those slacks again lol.

Lovely week ahead wished for you all.X

You're a good teacher. Are you feeling better now and able to eat? You are amazing in what you have gotten through. 

So if he says you're done, then you can take a deep breath and move on. Sleep well, tomorrow will hopefully be better for you. I understand the desire to find "normal". I think the help you'll get from the Breast Cancer support group will help you lots too. Don't waste a second with any "what if" thoughts.

Understand ((())).

Be done.

Rest up and heal.

Benny, sorry to hear you were in ER..

I wish I posted a pic of my big bruise from chemo .... my arm was horrible and embaressing that because it's summer I had to go out with a bruised arm in public....(oh well warrior bruise! )

I actually have part of my arm looking like i have a big black vein running through it..even my blood comes out really dark! It doesn't matter how long I hold my fingers to compress the site it still turns out bruised most chemoss....oh and the chemo ward is using different adhesive strips now and guess whos allergic to it!!!!! I ended up with a nice round red mark in the middle of my arm, should have drawn a face on it or something !!!

Now I've marks on my arm ( oh and burnt it the other day straighting my wig) that I have a burn mark to add to it.....I seriously look like a junkie....lol......

I know you mentioned that your onc said that your body may not be able to handle chemo, however CMF is actually tolerable....I have had nil side effects ( sorry other than half hour nausea, well more like an upset tummy, how you feel when you are hungry and haven't eaten, that kinda 'upset' and Ive had no nausea meds so far) I know every one reacts differently but majority on the CMF board have had very minimal SE's and they too have positive nodes like us.....worth discussing in my opinion .

Glad you watched heartland.....now hope you will have a little nap and perhaps something to eat.

I'm sure the blood was something that you've torn considering you've had severe diarrhea...I wish I was closer to come and help you......

Dear Benny,

So very sorry to hear what transpired. That picture of you driving to the hospital all by yourself at night, scared and cold, really made me feel so sad. You have had such a rough ride so far, and have endured so much. You have certainly earned my respect and admiration. We will be here for you whatever course of action you decide on. It seems to me that your poor body needs a break from the treatments, and I am sure your medical team will find another way to help you. Get some rest now, get better and let tomorrow take care of itself. Best wishes, and big hugs to you!