In shock
Comments
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What a cute Christmas horse photo. Horses have healing powers. Enjoy your horse :-).
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Carla, hope you bit more reassured now ? This is the beginning of the end for any cancer cells left anywhere.
Put on your armour and imagine the chemo obliterating this evil disease.You have been so brave and organised so far you are a true fighter.
First chemo is stepping into the unknown, after that it just becomes something you have to get through.Know you won't believe it but I now almost enjoy the experience, you may see the same faces having their treatment and the nurses go out of their way to put you at ease. The comfy chair is just that, a vehicle to hold you safe and comfortable while the treatment happens.x
Traii, Will be with you tomorrow. Sure CMF will be a different experience for you but hopefully a better one. Just remember one more step on the journey. ((( hug ))) x
Dakota, hope you are ok ? have you a chemo tomorrow ? x
Bearcub,How are things going with you ?x
Websister, a get together of you three would would be so lovely. Keep us posted. How is Mum ? x
Benny, Wow what a gorgeous photo ! Lovely to see our Benny back. Keep on getting well and having fun x
Bevlee, Jennie, Lesleyanne, luvmygoats and all other warrior sisters, have a lovely new years day.
Me and DH are off to look at bathroom suites, we have threatened to have the bathroom done for 7 years. Think its about time we actually did it !! We have now decided that after this past year to stop talking about doing stuff and just DO IT. You really don't know what will happen next.
Many years ago I worked for a lovely lady who said that she and her husband always said that when they retired from their business they would do this and do that. The day after they finished work she woke up to find he had died in his sleep :-( Never put off until tomorrow anything you can do today is my new motto.
Edi x
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Great advice Edi! I always knew I was not immortal, even as a teenager. I do think I still felt like I had a lot of time. No family history etc so my stage 3 diagnosis was a shocker when I had just turned 41. The gift of that is I really don't sweat the small stuff, I am far more calm, it takes a great deal to shake me up. AND most importantly I do the things I want to do. I don't wait. I burn every candle, no "saving" for special occasions, every day IS a special occasion. I drink out of my good crystal all the time - I am worth it : ).
Happy New Year! -
Lesleyanne, a toast to you, cheers,( also from my good crystal).I know what you mean ,I wear the good clothes to go to supermarket. Also the good jewelry. Life is for living and we are doing just that.Starting belly dancing lessons soon for a start then who knows ?? Hope 2013 is a tremendous year for you X
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I agree! Life's too short to keep the china and crystal socked away for special occasions. Just yesterday I stopped in at K&K Livestock and as soon as I walked in the door I saw the most magnificent saddle pad. It was gorgeous! Pink, purple, black and white, and I knew it would look great on Di and match my saddle and tack beautifully. I immediately dismissed it tho' because I already have a saddle pad and I can't afford it anyways. So I kept walking around the store trying to ignore it. Well, I got out to the truck and stopped. Why can't I have it? I have been struggling so much, and there are no guarantees on tomorrow. Am I worth a new saddle pad? YES I AM! So back I went and threw it on the counter.
I got it home and put it on my saddle stand and just stared at it all night. I do truly love the colors. I was so enamoured with the colors that I didn't even bother to check the stitching quality, inner material, etc., so I went online and researched it as I had already thrown out the labels and tags (without reading them). It was online that I discovered it is a good quality saddle pad. I decided to snoop back through the garbage and grab the tags and read them. You'll be shocked at what it said (Edi, are you there?):
"Good Medicine Saddle Pad - Cloudy Chance of Rein
The cloud symbols on the front and back represent good to come. Hail edges the blanket and brings the power to stop pursuing enemies. Lightening is represented by the bold zigzags. Lightening marks represent swiftness and power to the warrior and his horse and instill terror in foes (competitors). This blanket confers blessings and powers on the horse and rider."
I just about flipped when I read that. Is that prophetic or what??

Okay, I am way behind in my reading here so must go back a few pages. I hope everyone is having a great New Years Day?! I am going to catch up here then make some homemade carrot soup. My tummy is still a bit wonky altho' the potato pancakes last night (thanks Edi! ♥ ) went down just fine!

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Beautiful and wonderful!!
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Gosh Benny - You are a warrior. It was destined to be yours. So glad you've had such a good 2 days. Loved your pic from yesterday. Sun is finally out here for a bit.
Happy New Year to sister warriors.
The best to all having chemo/tests/other treatments this week.
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Benny, was surfing away on the net when a voice said to log on here and POW !!
That is truly amazing, love it, and you were definitely meant to buy it. Our warrior scout needs this and there it was. You are right ,enough is enough and you have had more than your fair share of the yucky bits.
Purple is also one of the highest colours in healing, if I see this during a Reiki session it is so good.The pattern is amazing and so meaningful.
Glad potato pancakes were ok, enjoy your soup X
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Awesome Benny!!! :-)
Carla, meltdowns are inevitable. I was never much of a cryer before all this, but now there are times when all I want to do is lay down and cry. It freaked me out at first. But I just had to accept that it's normal, a way of relieving the stress, whatever. It will pass. I didn't get any prescriptions to take beforehand (just get the various steroids & stuff in my IV at the start) but for me that first "meltdown" happened in the car on the way to the first chemo.... I started crying and saying "I don't want to do this, please can we just turn around and go home" but my DH just kept on going, telling me it would be ok. I got over it and yes, made it through the day all right.
Edi, I for one would love to have the recipe for the flourless chocolate cake! It sounds divine! :-)
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Hi ladies-
Benny I am sooo happy for u!!!
Hope everyone is feeling great. Had a great night with friends no day off from sports tho.... Off to soccer 😃😃😃 -
Jennie, You had same melt down as me ! my DH got me through it too, sure Carla will make it through..
Recipe for choccy cake as requested. Pre heat oven to 150 deg
Ingredients. 120 grams dark choc, 120 g butter, 150g caster sugar, 80g cocoa, 3 eggs ( beaten ) 1 teaspoon vanilla essence.
Put heatproof mixing bowl containing dark choc and butter over pan of simmering water on the stove until they melt, stir gently.
Remove bowl from heat, add caster sugar, cocoa, beaten eggs and vanilla extract. Again stir gently until all blended.
Put in greased and lined 8 inch, 20 cm cake tin or as it doesn't rise a lot a sandwich tin will probably do.
Bake in preheated oven 150 deg for 30 mins.
Remove from oven, leave in tin for 10 mins turn out and leave to cool.
It is not very deep but is sooo yummy even a small piece will satisfy the worst chocaholic.
I served with double cream, but also lush if you micro a slice for 20-30 seconds and serve with ice cream.
My cousins wife who I made this for ,was delighted with this and has the recipe to try. She had to fight off the rest of the family who have no gluten allergies who loved it too.
Hope you like it. Edi X
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Waiting...waiting....waiting in the chemo ward and such a glorious day outside. After spending all night/ early morning at hospital with dh (got tiniest piece of steel in his eye)then home to bed . 4hours sleep ..ds at mums...dh back at hospital yes I dropped him off this morning...handy its only a block away from my hospital and my darling daddy here today to keep me company ..so saw my onc happy as all Im feeling is normal.. .yeh im normal.. lol well define normal!!! had lunch with my daddt now did i mention im still waiting for chemo!!!
After all this...im still smiling...happy and healthy as can be.....girls we can do this.
Benny love your new saddle....its so you and colours are gorgeous...im sure diamond will love it
Edi u made me want dessert now....choc cake...yummo!
Dakota u rock.. .all u ladies we can do this lets rick 2013 together!!! -
I hope ALL of you (even those who feel they are struggling with meltdowns) take the time every now and then to scroll back through some of your earlier posts. It is amazing to see how far you all have come in your treatments, your attitudes of hope for your future, your awareness of how incredibly brave you have become, and most of all, your understanding and compassion for each other. The emotional and physical scars mark us all as undeafeated survivors! Love you all.
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Benny I just love the saddle pad and you were so meant to have it. Wow I just love what it means ....
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Benny it is a beautiful saddle pad ....it was meant to be for you and Diamond, it was so right for you to go back and get it....meant to be....a sign to fight on and look forward.
I am smiling looking at the pic. -
Hi Everyone,
Thank you so much! I am doing much better today.
Jennie, like you I don't usually cry, but I sure did yesterday. The other time I cried was when we had to tell the kids.. that was tough, but they all handled it well and they are the reason I stay strong.
Edi, Thank you for looking it up for me, I did as well and found out the same information. I am also going to bake the cake! It sounds wonderful and I have a nephew who has gluten allergies, so this would be perfect. You always make me feel better!
Nihahi, I know you all will be with me in thought on my day. I totally agree with you I have been on other threads as well, but these ladies are my family, so I welcome you to our family.
Benny, You look beautiful! I am so happy you are feeling better and that you are able to spend time with Diamond. I agree with you about the Pharmacy. The tech that was helping me was young,new and rude! I usually don't let that type of thing bother me but it sure did yesterday. I wanted to say to him "Look at the reason I am having to take these!!!" Then I realize it isn't his fault I have BC. That's when the tears came..
Traii, I sure hope your SE's are better with the new regime. I warned my husband about the steroids, he told me to tell you thanks for the heads up.. He has been amazing. Sometimes I think it is harder on him then me.
Websister, thanks for the hug! It does help.. I thank of you often knowing what you have been going through with your mom.. I hope things are going well.
Dakota, let us know how you are.
Bearcub, Lesleyann, Luvmygoats, hope you are all doing well..
Off to clean up the kitchen, I made the traditional "Southern" New Years Day dinner, beans, cornbread, black-eyed peas and meatloaf..
Love you all,
Carla
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Hi Everyone,
Thank you so much! I am doing much better today.
Jennie, like you I don't usually cry, but I sure did yesterday. The other time I cried was when we had to tell the kids.. that was tough, but they all handled it well and they are the reason I stay strong.
Edi, Thank you for looking it up for me, I did as well and found out the same information. I am also going to bake the cake! It sounds wonderful and I have a nephew who has gluten allergies, so this would be perfect. You always make me feel better!
Nihahi, I know you all will be with me in thought on my day. I totally agree with you I have been on other threads as well, but these ladies are my family, so I welcome you to our family.
Benny, You look beautiful! I am so happy you are feeling better and that you are able to spend time with Diamond. I agree with you about the Pharmacy. The tech that was helping me was young,new and rude! I usually don't let that type of thing bother me but it sure did yesterday. I wanted to say to him "Look at the reason I am having to take these!!!" Then I realize it isn't his fault I have BC. That's when the tears came..
Traii, I sure hope your SE's are better with the new regime. I warned my husband about the steroids, he told me to tell you thanks for the heads up.. He has been amazing. Sometimes I think it is harder on him then me.
Websister, thanks for the hug! It does help.. I thank of you often knowing what you have been going through with your mom.. I hope things are going well.
Dakota, let us know how you are.
Bearcub, Lesleyann, Luvmygoats, hope you are all doing well..
Off to clean up the kitchen, I made the traditional "Southern" New Years Day dinner, beans, cornbread, black-eyed peas and meatloaf..
Love you all,
Carla
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Carlads, we have your back this week, you will be nervous and then when it is done you will probably walk out just fine, waiting for a SE. Did they tell you how long the first infusion will take? How many? Are you expecting to loose your hair with your chemo drugs? You may have already answered these questions but i still have chemo brain and can't remember? I sure hope you are one of the lucky ones that has minimal SE. I actually was very lucky and had few SE, just fatigue and indigestion. The fatigue was cumulative.
You got this girl....you picture the warrior kicking the *¥£* out of any stray cells...
Your southern dinner sounded yummy! -
Traii - I've been in your pockets, trust all is going well, hope your husband's eye is OK
Edi - thanks for the recipe
Benny - love the saddle pad, it was meant to be, good medicine indeed. You must be meeting with Dr. H tomorrow? Do you have a time yet for Thursday?
Carla - so happy you are feeling better, sounds like your husband is a good guy
Dakota - hoping you are getting some time just for you with your busy schedule
Bearcub, Joanne, Jennie, Lesleyanne, luvmygoats, nihahi, racy and anyone else I may have missed - greetings
I went to see my Mom today, she is off isolation, she is a little confused but doing better. It was a beautiful sunny day here so we took her outside for a bit, the mountains were beautiful in the distance as we sat outside.
Take care everyone -
Websister, saw you popping up out of my pocket today...thanks hun....I wasn't in there for long, loving this 15 minute of one drug and 10 min of the other, took longer to set me up and put in some anti nausea and dex....lol Glad your mum is out of isolation and that you all got to enjoy the sunshine with her today ....
Carla, funny you mention that you think its harder for your hubby then for you...I think that sometimes too.....then again sometimes I think my hubby thinks and acts like nothing is wrong with me because I am 'normal' going through chemo even though I have some SE's it hasn't stopped me from my day to day stuff of living...I'm not a dweller so no one hears if I have peeling feet or dry hands or anything, I just plod along saying "oh yeh, its part of it and it too shall pass..." hey no ones going to listen except for you lovely ladies anyway lol...... We will be here for you Carla so you will not be alone

Bearcub, good luck with your radiation on the 3rd jan.....
Dakota, hope you are getting some 'me' time after you take the kids to their sports......you are an inspiration doing this all alone - you rock

Edi, did you get someone to come around and look at that furnace of yours ?? I don't want my cyber mummy getting cold tootsies !! Hope you are keeping warm next to that DH of yours

Enjoy your Wednesday lovely sisters......."we are family, get up everybody and sing" .( sorry couldn't help myself, reading some posts I just have this song in my head " crazy as I am.....lol xx traii xx
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For all my Warrior sisters:
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing
Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
(ALL!) all of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose
Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(WE!) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family Jewel
Edi xxxx -
Traii !! You are truly my cyber baby girl. My ED was copying and pasting the words to this song while you must have been posting.
So glad you are ok sweetheart, was worrying about you. Now I can't wait for my next regime yay. My last Epi next Tuesday then half way through, yippee.
Our lovely friend is at this moment mending the fire. He is an ex gas fitter and seems to have solved the problem, fingers crossed. It is actually better than before.
He is a love, one year out from having his stomach removed due to this vile disease. He looks and acts amazing. Now has a mop of thick hair too. His first grandchild is due next month and we are all so thrilled for him.
You and Carla are spot on about the DH's mine can go over the top sometimes and I feel like Rapunzel in the tower only no flippin hair to escape with lol.
Still shouldn't complain as he has been incredible even when I swear like a docker and throw things ( usually at him )
Keep me posted how you are and crossing everything that there are no se's with this one.XNihahi, You are correct we are all growing stronger with every new thing BC throws at us. We know more, and have each other to weep with, laugh with, or just feel sorry for ourselves with. Soon we will all be able to share happy times again. X
Bearcub, with you on the 3rd. x
Websister, You and Mum in the sun, how lovely. Hope she mends really fast. You look after yourself too x
Benny, Hope you are having a wonderful time with Diamond, bet new saddle pad looks stunning. x
Bevlee, how you doing. x
Carla, you are getting there. soon will be in the past.
New Years day meal sounds great.Hope your nephew likes the cake, have a wonderful gluten free scone one too if anyone wants it.xGot my GD here and she is quietly playing with roll out icing, didn't know you could have so much fun with something out of Nana's cupboard.
Luvmygoats, joanne.jennie ,lesleyanne and anyone else, love and hugs.
Edi x
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Hi ladies !!
Made it to 2013. Soooo glad it's here!!!!!
Traii -
I love that song!!! Hope DH is ok. Thanks for that. I am doing my best to keep it together for them. Eyes yikes!!!
Edi-
Thanks for the words. Glad the stove is getting fixed. When is # 3???or is it 4???
Benny-
I am so proud of u for going back and getting the saddle. It was meant to be!!!
Carlads -
Good luck we r here for u!!!
Websister-
Glad mom is better. So glad u feel so good to be in the mountains😄😄
Lesley & luvmy hope all is well
Having # 5 starting Taxol tomorrow 4 hour infusion little nervous something new for me. But I think my hair will start to grow back- looking at the bright side 😃😃😃 -
I have been up most of the night with diarrhea. I had intense pain in my chest last night after eating some carrot soup and had to take another codeine. This mucositis is supposed to heal itself between day 14 and day 21 but I feel like I'm right back to last week all over again. It is day 15 post chemo for me and I should be much healthier than i am. I am afraid to eat this morning but have to because I am weak. It seems like I'm okay as long as I stay on the codeine, but as soon as I try to reduce the codeine the pain returns. I've been on codeine since December 24 (9 days) so don't want to stay on it too long. Anyone else have/had this problem?Traii and Carla.... thinking of you too with love.... ♥ ♥
Edi, thank you for the flourless cake recipe. I am going to try it as soon as I can eat again.
Websister, I haven't heard from oncologist but next chemo would be the week of January 9 if he schedules me for another one. In light of this mucositis that isn't clearing up and the double-lung infection (antibiotic goes til Jan 7) he might delay it again.
Wow, pain is so tiring, isn't it?
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Benny - The codeine is also constipating so that may be why you get diarrhea when you go off. I would think 9 days is not much to be on it. How many/much are you taking? Codeine pain meds are not prescribed much in US. Hydrocodone much more prevalent; not so many allergic to it like codeine. Codeine pretty much only in cough syrup for cough suppression. I don't think I ever saw a hospice pt on codeine for pain. Oh, that's another thought. It is suppressing your cough so when you stop/cut back the codeine not only is your pain coming back but so is your cough (did you even have one?). It will be a trade off. But with some docs they will not give codeine for cough suppression esp. if it is productive. Only for dry, annoying, keep you up at night coughs.
Have you had problems with GERD (stomach acid)? Might check out with dr. if you can take Omeprazole or such. Here in US it is OTC. Like I said b4 don't know much about mucositis.
Hang in there girl.
Edi - Love that song. All my sisters and me.!!!
Websister - Glad your mom is doing better and out of isolation.
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Benny, I have been on Coedine for quite some time because I caught the bug going around and my cough was HORRIFIC and this was happening when I had major abdominal surgery. Incision all the way around my entire torso, looks like the magician tried to "saw me in half" and actually cut me instead of magic!! Part of my Stage 2 recon and feeling better today than a week ago but I have a LOT of stitches so coughing is NOT good so I just stay on Coedine. I do not like narcotics, BUT if you need them take them and don't feel bad about it. Hang in there
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Luvmygoats, I am already on a double dose of Prevacid (prescription) for GERD. The acid seems to be controlled. I'm not sure why he chose codeine but I did have a non-productive dry hacking cough and the codeine helped that. And it helps the mucositis pain too but I feel bad being on it for so long. I take 30 mg every 4 hours, ideally, but I often try to go 6 hours or longer without it. For the past 3 days I've only had 3 tabs each day. I am going to try and eat in a few minutes so will probably end up taking one because of that.
Lesleyanne, you poor thing. Yes, coughing with incisions a BAD thing. Okay, I will try not to feel bad about taking the codeine. I just don't want to get hooked on the stuff or have bad withdrawal from it at some point. Don't need any more problems than I already have.
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Hey Benny, dont be shy to take codeine...that is so minimal compared to that toxic chemo we are all having, i was the same as you, coughing, sore chest,back,any pain i got i was worried...saw onc yesterday, bloods ok, no fever he said have panadol for pain (lesleyanne could not imagine the pain you would have gone through by coughing and having lovely 'magician incision' ouchy:( )
Oh and had chemo and feel fine.
Actually better than fine this morning....tongue not furry, wide awake, (knocking on wood) i feel better than 2days ago just peeing alot cos I have to drink 2to3 litres of fluid after my chemo tablet! Next chemo jan 9th then 4 more to go
Edi u really are my cyber mummy...great minds think alike we are family!!! So glad to hear your friend who sounds like hes concurred one hell of a battle too is fixing your furnace god bless him!
Lol u make me laugh...rupunzel but cant escape...just try sheet next time...lol. I shouldnt complain re Dh. If i start screaming at him he does walk away to avoid conflict cos he knows can be steriods and i chase him like a looney to have my two bobs worth at him....lol crazy times!!
Dakota you are a tough cookie....im with you in that pocket for your taxol.
I was nervy too with my new regime yesterday but once its over you will feel sooo much better just like when we first started with chemo all those months ago but we are so much wiser now!!!!
Go rock your taxol...ill come out singing for you we are family so look out at that pocket girl.!!!
Love to u all...on my phone typing and thumb getting numb so time to stop for now!!! xxx -
Traii, soooo glad to hear you are better and ready to go. I too am scheduled for Jan 9 but dollars to donuts he's gonna delay it. I will try to allow myself the codeine tabs. I will take one today for sure as I have the LGFB workshop tonight and I've waited months to get into it. Enjoy your day!!
Edi, is the furnace fixed?
Dakota, you have done so well through all of this I am guessing you will continue to do well with the Taxol. We'll be there with you. You'll be out at the soccer games in no time just like before, I'm sure

Lunchtime.... I am soooooo sick of potatoes!!
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Benny - the antibiotics can also cause GI upset, my MO allows me to take probiotics and I think it really helps with diarrhea/constipation/GERD - especially while on antibiotics but i have taken right through my chemo.
Also wondering if the carrot soup is spicy - ie ginger? That can irritate the mucositis. Codeine itself on an empty stomach can irritate the stomach lining for many people, make sure you are taking it with something like crackers/potatoes.
Forgot it was only 2 weeks, seemed like three to me
. I have my Herceptin infusion tomorrow which is why I was asking, thought maybe we might have a similar time. Sending hugs, hope some of my advice helps.
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