I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

1115611571159116111621828

Comments

  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited December 2012

    Kam ... I haven't really looked into how much different it would be with that change.  I should and will now.  But the COLAs we get now are not reality based either.  The items they use to calculate cost of living are not based on what we actually have to spend money on ... gas, groceries, medical expenses. 

    IMO what you need to look at are your take home pay (not gross pay) now versus what you will receive as a pension.  Then factor in that you will be spending a lot less as a retiree ... gas back and forth to work, work clothes, lunches out, reduced taxes, the CSRS, SS and Medicare deductions go away etc.  I sat down and computed that over and over when I retired and again when hubby retired.  What I have found both times is that the results looked worse than the reality has turned out to be.  In terms of spendable income we did not lose much.  How it comes out depends on your particular situation of course.       

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012
  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited December 2012

    River Rat

    He deserved it!

  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited December 2012

    Oh cool ... while I was typing we got puppy news!  Wendell is a good name and if it doesn't fit for some reason you all will know soon enough.  Want pictures!!!

    Snow ... Central Indiana does not seem to do snow the last few years.  I can't say that I miss it.  Except that my doggies would really have a good time playing in it.

    Edited to say 'central' Indiana ... my northern Indiana family would not agree

  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited December 2012

    Blue -- we want a pic as soon as Ray and Wendell get home!  I didn't get to see the pics you posted before (computer acted up in the middle of the download) so I'm anxious to see Ray's choice!  What is the breed?

  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited December 2012

    I snuck a quick read at the Canadian Almanac for 2013 while waiting in line:  forecast is for a bit more snow than last year in these parts but a mild winter overall.  July will be a scorcher (hah, what's new about that???).  We've had a couple of snowy days here, but it melted quickly.  Given that we have to do a bit of travelling over Christmas, I'm NOT wishing for snow!  It can come on the 27th!

    When I was a child, it wasn't unusual for a good 3 feet of snow on the ground from January to March.  And the arena I skated in didn't have an ice-making machine, so the weather was COLD too, to keep the ice, ice.  Global warming, anyone?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2012

    Just a quick drive by and drop offKiss

    This song was posted on Youtube. It was written by one of the students
    at at a Conn. High School where my sister has worked for over 20 years as the school secretary, and performed on Sunday night at a memorial event in their
    auditorium. Wow!

    Click here: "26 Angels"--Original Song by Bailey Jeffko - YouTube

    image

     

    Barb
  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    You can "drive by" on one condition - that you post us a pic of what a shanagirl drive-by looks like - jk!Tongue Out Thanks for sharing.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    He's a mix but mostly chi.  Has some fox terrier.  Like E said, the most interesting dog in the world.  LOL!

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    No more pure breeds.....too many health issues.

    Thank you Shanagirl.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    chi = chihuahua?

  • GatorGal
    GatorGal Member Posts: 2,550
    edited December 2012

    This is way, way too long. I apologize but i couldn't figure iut whatbto cut. I can so empathize with the mother who wrote the blog. I wonder how many families have similar stories. I believe I have mentioned on this thread that my DH and I adopted two "at risk" foster kids back in the 80's. I won't go into detail about their lives before we got them but they were considered at risk because of their drug abusing, child abusing birth parents. We will never know the extent of that abuse since the children were too young to "voice" what went on in their home. Needless to say, both were under the care of psychologists and psychiatrists until they left home at 18. Daughter is 31 now and doing okay but still deals with depression and other emotional issues. She is soldiering on. Our son, Roy, is 30 now. I can't even remember all the diagnoses or medications he was given over the years (ADHD, ODD, bi-polar to name a few). We tried everything! Play therapy, home schooling, scouting, outward bound, military school. We were good parents. What is my point? I don't know. Just to let you know how hard it is, and still is, to raise children with mental problems. He scared me. He threatened me, his dad, his brother and sister many, many times. At one time he grabbed a scythe my husband used to cut weeds down and swung it at me. There were several physical attacks over the years, mostly directed at me, but DH or older son was usually there to intervene. We never knew when one of his verbal attacks would occur and we tiptoed around him when we felt he was in "one of his moods." The school required one of us to chaperone any field trip he went on. Scouts required my husband to be one of the leaders. The church youth group required one of us to be a joint leader. (BtTW, even with that, he was kicked out of scouts and youth group). We never knew what might trigger an explosion from him. And yet, he was and can still be, so so loving, generous and kind. Where is he now? A heroin addict in rehab for the second time. We took money out of our retirement to pay for his first rehab and told him that would be it. One time and one time only. On Thanksgiving I asked him to leave our home. He was back on drugs and straling from us to support his habit. I was drug testing him as a condition for his living with us and he tried to pawn off a friend's cold pee as his. That was it! I told him he will never again live at our house. Because he had no where else to go, he asked his sister to take him to detox which she did and after detox they got him into a rehab program. He has two children by two different mothers. He has never been able to hold a job (laziness? mental illness? drug addiction?) and is always a step away from being jailed for non-payment of child support. I have always felt that I could get bad news about him at any time. I feel he is a time bomb. It is scary. I hope he never does anything to hurt another human being though I know he was abusive to the mother of his first child. Al-anon has been a god-send for me and has helped me to realize that I have been enabling him over the years. I only wish I had stuck with the program when I tried it 20 years ago. It would have helped me with dh's alcoholism as well as my children's issues. I have always made excuses for Roy's behaviors and know in my heart that it is not all his fault. I do feel, finally, that it is time for him to take responsibility for himself. I love him. Always will. My heart hurts for him. I fear for his future. But for the first time, I feel strong enough to tell him he's on his own and mean it. It's been a rough 25+ years. When we have, or adopt, children, it is for life. I pray I live long enough to see him straighten his out.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Yes.  I can't handle big dogs!

  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited December 2012

    Blue, where you able to watch that video?  I am told that I am not in the correct region.  This is happening more and more lately.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Yes.  I get that sometimes when I want to watch the daily show.  Try googling it from another site.

  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited December 2012
  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Oh ((((Glenna))))

    Congratulations on what you are doing for yourself and your son. There is only so much a parent can do, no matter how loving and able. The brain can be a stubborn, hard-to-treat instrument. It's great that your daughter is doing well.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Glenna so sorry.

  • RetiredLibby
    RetiredLibby Member Posts: 1,992
    edited December 2012

    Glenna, you are an angel.  You adopted those children and you did everything you could -- everything humanly possible -- and then some to get them launched into the world as productive, happy people.  There are things in some people that cannot be fixed, only managed.  Sometimes easier, sometimes harder to manage, but you can only do what you can do.  I am so sorry for the years of difficulties you have endured, but you did do your best.  You know the story from the other side. (((((Glenna)))))

    L

  • CherrylH
    CherrylH Member Posts: 1,077
    edited December 2012

    Glenna, prayers and hugs for you and your family.

  • River_Rat
    River_Rat Member Posts: 1,724
    edited December 2012

    (((((Glenna)))))

    Shanagirl, thanks.  I'm finding hope that maybe we can reach across ideological divides and make some needed changes.

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited December 2012

    Glenna .. thank you for sharing your heartfelt story about your family and children.  I understand the struggles ... and I too found peace and hope in Al-Anon years ago.

    hugs,

    Bren

  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited December 2012

    Glenna

    My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    WR - I'm probably not in the same situation as you...no second income, for sure.  Rural area = less pay; cheap agency,  ski town in California = expensive, but no recognition on the pay scale or rate (conus).  Gas is always the highest in the nation and food is 35% more expensive than the town north or south.  It really sucks to be me ;)   I live less than a mile from work, I wore a uniform for many years (and basically jeans and a t-shirt are acceptable attire, otherwise), I go home for lunch every day already, so my only real savings are in taxes, no medicare, etc.  I'm cutting it close to the bone..mostly because BC following an overbudget house remodel, put an unexpected financial strain on me, but I can hardly turn down the buyout given I don't want to work, and then just die at my desk.  I can barely do it, so the cola is important to me.  The chained CPI will affect people the longer they are under it.  I can't even imagine those on SS alone, disability, or Veteran's benefits.  I think this Chained CPI wil be the hardest on those that can afford it the least, while not hurting others, maybe like you.  Social Security should not even be touched...it's solvent and not under Sequestration.  This is so we can raise the income bracket on those who will have their taxes go back to the Clinton rate, from $250 to $500k a year?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2012

    Glenna - wishing you and your family a better 2013, and courage to face the difficult challenges you have.  SO HARD.  You are doing such good work, trying, in a situation most of us would just collapse under....really.  I am in AWE, and respect, ofyour loving courage.

    Blue - yeah, the little grey one.  Character trumps again...bet he's gonna to LOVE living with you & Ray.  Also, i wanna stick my hand in that candy glass boel, if y cold just lift the lid a little, I think my paw might slip in.

    TIME MAGAZINE - PERSON OF THE YEAR.  What a fascinating article, interview, pictures.  Still giving thanks for all we have to be so grateful for.

    Prayers, still, to all who woke up today and had the courage to send their little ones to school.

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Glenna - I just read your story. You are a very strong and honorable woman.  xxo  I hope things do get better for you son.  So tough.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited December 2012

    Hi Glenna.... I read your story, and I SWORE you were talking about my nephew.  My Brother's Son has been a handful all of his life.  He is now 52, and homeless, yet again.... Yes, he also fathered 2 or 3 kids, never married, stole from his Mom and Dad, always going to jail for something.  His Sister tried once to help him, by being made his "care-taker?"  She got him into some sort of home, gave him his allowance from the State... But he got tired of not having enough money for his drinking and smokes.  

    He ran away from that place, tried living with one of his Daughter's... She kicked him out...He went back to my Brothers for the 20th time.... He immediately drove him to the homeless shelter and dropped him off.  He told him, "no more"  "I can't do it".......  My Brother is 74, and raising a Grandson also.... (My Brother's daughter died after 12 years fighting breast cancer.  And he is raising her Son, who is now 18) 

    But those two are the happiest things I have ever seen! 

    They both needed someone to care .... So my Brother could not help his Son anymore, but he was "given" a Grand-son from his Daughter he lost.

    So Glenna, I can't imagine how you are feeling, but I understand.  I don't know what "happened" to my Nephew.... He just never seemed "quite right."  He wasn't ever violent, just never fit in...  Always in trouble as he got older.  

    As far as I know, he is still living "somewhere".....  There comes a time when you have to say NO....!   But they are always in your heart.

    So my wishes are for you to have a beautiful Christmas.... and stay strong!

  • Chickadee
    Chickadee Member Posts: 4,467
    edited December 2012

    Glenna I know from where you speak and for those who are trying to understand this or not.....if you haven't raised a brain damaged child, (our adopted son prenatally exposed to alcohol, diagnosis FASD). you can't understand the nightmare anymore than you can understand someone Stage IV if you aren't that diagnosis.



    FYI an article in USATODAY indicates that the mother had begun proceedings to have her son involuntarily committed, he may have been aware, and that it may have triggered his rampage.



    I can only fault her for having those weapons.....they should have never been in the house.



    Walk a few feet in our shoes........you wouldn't need a mile.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Too wonderful - fingers crossed everyone:

    WASHINGTON — President Obama declared Wednesday that he would make gun control a “central issue” as he opens a second term, submitting broad new gun control proposals to Congress no later than January and committing the power of his office to overcoming political opposition in the wake of last week’s school massacre.

    The president’s pledge came as House Republicans restated their firm opposition to enacting any new limits on firearms or ammunition, setting up the possibility of a philosophical clash over the Second Amendment early in Mr. Obama’s second term.

    “This time, the words need to lead to action,” Mr. Obama said, referring to to past mass shootings that prompted outrage but led to little or no legislative changes.

    He said the proposals would not be just about weapons. “We are going to need to work on making access to mental health care at least as easy as access to guns,” he said.

    More here: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/20/us/politics/obama-to-give-congress-plan-on-gun-control-within-weeks.html?hp&_r=0&pagewanted=print

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Darn, we'll have to wait until Saturday for Wendell  because Ray couldn't get away from work.  He's an estimator and had 30 quotes this pm.  Oh well.....anticipation!

Categories