I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Orgasm?????  Never had one of those while conceiving.......too busy trying to get pregnant!   hahahahahaha!   Serious work!

  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited December 2012

    We have about an inch of snow here in Shoreline. No school delay. Just enough to get the kids even more nutty the last day of school before break. 

    Mary

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    No, of course they didn't Mary. I would never suggest that the mother brought this on herself somehow - that couldn't be further from my mind - yikes - I hope it wasn't read that way! You may have misunderstood me. But it was indelicate of her to call attention to her plight --bring it to our doorstep-- over the dead bodies of others, IMO. It struck me as self-serving and opportunistic. At any other time, ok. But it also seemed blind to the fact that other mothers and other mentally ill children could be amongst the victims and the mourners. And that one of the victims, the shooter's mother, deserves to rest in peace without having some blogger try to create and then don some sort of a mantra.

    ETA: I'm surprised no one else sees this. It struck me immediately. No one is blaming anyone for the desease of another.Innocent (Confused)

  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited December 2012

    Blue-I'm glad you mentioned that.....

    Mary

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Mary - hope you read my response, just above.

  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited December 2012

    I agree with a lot of what you said, Athena-that particular passage just struck me as really harsh. I didn't feel like you were blaming her for the disease of her son-it sounded like you were saying the rest of us don't need to worry about it-that it's her problem. It's everyone's problem, whether they have children or not.

    Mary

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    I worked in a school, in a bad area of town and there were many seriously challenged families.  We had one student who would come to the office to report his parents to children's aide and his parents would never have hurt him, but he figured that was the way to get attention.  Then we had one parent come in (who had just left a mental institute) and wanted to see her child, but was not allowed because of a court order.  She wanted to throw a heavy paper cutter at me.  School went in lock-down and when the police arrived, she said there was nothing they could do to her as she could fool anyone.  Hands are too often tied!

    Oh the stories I could tell!

  • RetiredLibby
    RetiredLibby Member Posts: 1,992
    edited December 2012

    Kam, I'm disgusted by the chained-CPI thing myself.  I don't think there is anything I can do about it, so I am devoting my efforts elsewhere, but I would FAR rather see the cap lifted on Social Security earnings.  Problem solved of Social Security solvency, and it would be an entirely progressive move.  Make more, pay more.  As it is, Warren Buffett and my husband pay the same amount in Social Security taxes.  Buffett might pay less if most of his earnings are from stock and he doesn't take a salary.  Same with Bill Gates.  I know that if they got their money from stock earnings it wouldn't matter, but when someone makes $330,000 in compensation with $7 million in stock options, pay SS taxes at least on that damn $330,000!

    As far as how it would affect me, I am resigned to the fact that in the endt, I won't get what I thought I would.  They will find some way to cut it, or nibble it to death.  We are fortunate to have been able to save quite a bit, so our lifestyle won't be seriously affected, but I know others' lifestyles will.

    Snow in Seattle -- OMG!  Mary, you must leave work right now and go get supplies! Surprised

    Perhaps she didn't blog about her son's mental illness before because she didn't want to expose it to the world.  She may have made a bad decision in doing so (from her personal safety/security/privacy standpoint), but I could see where it might be useful to other parents experiencing the same thing.  And maybe in reaching a larger audience, someone can help her with solutions she hasn't tried yet.  I just felt sorry for her and the other children.  There have been articles over the years in the WaPo about situations like this -- there is a dearth of residential facilities for kids like this, and most parents cannot affort to pay for them.  It is an intractable dilemma, especially with people not wanting to pay more in taxes.  I don't know what the answer would be for Anarchist Soccer Mom.

    edited to take into account Athena's response

    L

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    HL - I'm not giving up.  I call it the hamburger to cat food price index.  It assumes you will seek alternatives when you can no longer afford the original.  SS is not the problem, not even part of the Sequestration.  Once again, it becomes the villain.  My brother sent me this WH petition

    https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-no-cuts-social-security/xqsFsqLP

    This one is going to hurt so many people.

  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited December 2012

    Athena ... I took the blog title and that mother as jumping in to defend Nancy Lanza from those out there who are saying that it was all her fault.  That she was coming out about her own situation to try to show people that it was not as simple as it might look from the outside for these parents to 'prevent' their kids from doing these horrible things.  I thought it was a good thing for her to do since Ms. Lanza is not alive to defend herself.  It's all about perception for sure. 

  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited December 2012

    Good morning from the snowy Rockies! Finally! I have nowhere to go today, so I'm enjoying the day at home. I'll do Pilates, read, maybe make some jewelry...got the birdfeeder full so the kitties are being entertained by the activity out the window.

    Now to read the NYTimes and get caught up on the latest on the fiscal whatever...cannot bear to read another word about the CT shooting. My stepdaughter is a teacher in a small community and my grandkids are a little older, but still more vulnerable than I can wrap my head around...

  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited December 2012

    Oh, wow, President Obama is Time's Person of the Year.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Mary, you said:

    it sounded like you were saying the rest of us don't need to worry about it-that it's her problem. It's everyone's problem, whether they have children or not.

    Mary

    Thanks for clarifying - oh, I could not agree with you more. No, no, I never meant to say it wasn't our problem. You'll never hear than come out of me, for more reasons than I can mention. A mentally ill child is a public health, public policy, education and economic problem that affects far more than mother and child. I have spoken to and helped too many mothers to count. What they have in common is the lack of help and understanding from the very places they need the  most: the school and frequently the healthcare profession. They even face blame and ostracism from friends and family who BLAME THEM or deny the illness and often say "you child just needs some discipline." Frequently the mother, too, may be mentally ill or have a developmental problem. This makes advocating for her own child extra difficult. Oftentimes the father will not help, or understand what is going on - in many cases because he is not the chief caretaker.

    This is a tragedy and it causes significant wear and tear on entire families. People are much more sympathetic to disabilities that you can see than to these "invisible" ones. It's heartbreaking to hear these mothers sometimes, because they internalize feelings of guilt that they shouldn't be having. They end up needing loads of help for themselves.

    Me to blogger: Just don't go around saying you identify with a mass murderer's mother (who, may she rest in peace, you never met). Because many of these mentally ill kids are NOT violent but they deserve every bit as much publicity and compassion.

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    What birds are you getting Anne and what are you feeding?  I took down my sunflowers after the cats got a beautiful Grosbeak...the goldfinches and pine siskins are gone, as well as the hummingbirds. Left my Nyger seed out, but no takers.  I remember gold finches in previous winters, but not for awhile now.

  • River_Rat
    River_Rat Member Posts: 1,724
    edited December 2012

    Oh great...

    A Virginia legislator says he will introduce a bill mandating teachers or other school personnel to carry concealed weapons, the Washington Post reported on Wednesday.

    The proposal from state Sen. Robert G. Marshall (R) comes in response to last week's mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn. Wenzel J. Cummings, the state lawyer charged with drafting the legislation, originally questioned whether the legislature has the authority to require teachers to carry weapons to school rather than authorizing them do so.

    http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/virginia-lawmaker-says-he-will-propose-bill-requiring

  • alexandria58
    alexandria58 Member Posts: 1,588
    edited December 2012

    SNOW!! I am envious.  I love snow at Christmas time. 

    I think we're all in agreement that mental illness of a child is a terrible burden, and we have little or imperfect treatment for the children or support for the parents.  This does not absolve Adam Lanza of his individual guilt, but it is something we need to address as a society.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Athena ... I took the blog title and that mother as jumping in to defend Nancy Lanza from those out there who are saying that it was all her fault. That she was coming out about her own situation to try to show people that it was not as simple as it might look from the outside for these parents to 'prevent' their kids from doing these horrible things. I thought it was a good thing for her to do since Ms. Lanza is not alive to defend herself. It's all about perception for sure.

    Wabbit - Interesting interpretation. Yes, that is certainly possible.

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Hmmm, loving snow.  I have a very jaded view Alexandria.  I've spend too many hours of my life shoveling, or getting stuck, or not having power (heat) after coming in sopping wet from shoveling....this snow will be extra cold, so may be pretty nice on all accounts, though it does pack down into ice on the roads, which is always a problem.  I only recently got a snowblower, but it doesn't work on the 6' high 5' wide berms they put at the mouth of my driveway.  Snow, hmm.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    JEALOUS of snow too!

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Listen to the intervirew Piers Morgan did last night.  Tie down your hands or you will be pulling your hair!

    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2012/12/19/pmt-ct-shooting-larry-pratt-heated-gun-debtae.cnn

  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited December 2012

    Alexandria

    That is sooo good. I want a copy of he novel.

    I want to speak as the mom of 7 kids, 3 diagnosed with ADHD (and let's just say the other 4 are just very active) and two sons who have been diagnosed with depression or bipolar illness (the diagnosis has changed over the years but they don't get manic). One son has been hospitalized after an outburst at work. The other gets counseling online now because he has no insurance and a crappy job and can't get help. (Yes it should be available but there are waiting lists for free or low cost care.)

    While I do believe we need to ban assualt rifles, I also think that we need to care for people with mental health issues. I also believe that the mom who wrote the blog was just coming to the defense of another mother.

    Oh and Athena, I did have the orgasm and it was worth the consequencesEmbarassed.

    I hope I can give my kids the support they need. I have dealt with violent teens, but I don't know if there was more violence in our house than in any house with 5 boys. My heart goes out to any mom who is afraid of her kid.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    I edited the link above.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    I'm gonna go watch some "I love Lucy".  Need to laugh while I wait for Wendel to come home.  Hopefully it will be today.  Ray has met him but I haven't and yep its the blue/grey one!

  • alexandria58
    alexandria58 Member Posts: 1,588
    edited December 2012

    Note that I said at Christmas.  By February - I do get tired of it.  We've had years with lots of snow here in NJ, too.

  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Ah - the gray one....<3

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    So it's not the fossil? Wendell - too sweet.

    Rosemary - LOL!

  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited December 2012

    The gray one. Good.

  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Athena I wanted to go with Fossil but Ray wanted Wendel, for a name.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Oh, it IS the sweet little fossil. Can't wait for another picture....

  • River_Rat
    River_Rat Member Posts: 1,724
    edited December 2012

    Blue, ah good choice on the blue/grey one.  As far as the name, a Wendell once caused me to have to sit out recess in the coat closet.  (don't worry the closet was huge, open and had light)  Wendell chased me, caught me, kissed me.  I justifiably decked him.  Innocent

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