refused all treatment after surgery

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im scared of all the side effects of chemo and hormone therapy also scared of not having treatment. any wise advise for me? any one who has refused treatment? 

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited December 2012

    Hi Crying. So sorry you are feeling this way but you are not alone in your fear. We all are afraid of the side effects of the drugs but they are really just a short term thing for a long term gain. There are many things that can be given to ease the side effects and many supplements that can help as well.



    These boards are full of women who have, with the help of others here managed to get through treatment. Please don't allow the fear to prevent you from doing what is necessary to give yourself the best chance of a long and fruitful life.



    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited December 2012

    Crying, I am not familiar with treatments for Paget's disease. What has been recommended for you?



    There are thousands of ladies here who have had treatments and are doing well. We can help you through.



    Keep in touch here.

  • Linda1966
    Linda1966 Member Posts: 633
    edited December 2012

    Crying, I think we need a bit more info before we can really help you.

    I note that you had a masectomy in 2008, what stage Breast cancer was that classified at, what grade and did you have any chemo or hormone treatment at that time?

    According to your byline youve now been dx with Pagets cancer of the breast @ 6cm+ & stage 0? I dont know a great deal about Pagets but stage 0 doesn't sound right to me as that would put it in the class of dcis which is preinvasive. If there is any component of invasive cancer it immediately makes the stage 1 or higher. Grade 3 in any stage is concerning as Im sure you are aware. The fact that its occurred several years after a masectomy surprises me, but then as Ive already said i dont know a great deal about pagets or for that matter, recontructions and the possiblity of recurrances in reconstructed breasts.

    What I do know is that at the age of 42 I was dx with dcis, path showed idc and thus chemo and hormonals were needed and im 3 years thus far on Arimidix and living a healthy happy life. Chemo wasnt fun, but it was doable and I have no ongoing health issues from doing it.

    There are women who have refused treatment, some have continued living their lives with no further worries, some have lived to regret their choice with progression at a later date and yes some have died too early because of it. Sadly the same can be said for those who have done all the recommended treatments. Breast cancer is a mongrel and while we can take every option out there to keep it at bay, in some it recurs and in others it doesnt and we dont know, other than from the stats available as to what our chances are and most of us put our faith in our surgeons and oncologists recommendations on the standard of care for each of our own particular circumstances. 

    I think the best thing any of us can do is way up the factors for and against treatment and make a decision each of us can live with. The points I raised above and also your current age and general state of health and support system are what I would take into account in making a decision if I was you. You may have other factors to include in your decision making process as well.

    The one thing I would not recommend is making a knee jerk reaction in refusing treatment due purely to a fear of chemo, radiation, surgery etc. No one can force you into treatment. But take a week or two, get all the facts, ask questions here as to what you should be asking your surgeon and oncologist from women who have had your diagnosis and then make an educated decision that is right for you. You may still elect not to have treatment, but at least then it will be an educated decision based on solid facts and hopefully some good sound advice from women who have been where you are and have come out the other side.

    http://www.lifemath.net/cancer/breastcancer/therapy/index.php is a site where you can input details of your dx and calculate the effect on your life expectancy with and without treatment and might help you make a decision, based not on fear but on facts through statistics.

    At the very least I hope we here at BCO can help you thru the coming days as you make your decisions. Good luck and please ask us any questions you need to so you are at peace with whatever decision you make.

  • crying
    crying Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2012

    i see how my post is confusing i was only dx in sep 2012 and had surgery 2012. i have both IDC and pegets and was just DCIS before surgery. after surgery they found more area and different cancer as well.my  onco wants me to do chemo, herceptin and tamaxifin. im 33 and fill like  it will come back any way after all this and im afraid of losing what ever time i have doing tx. not doing any thing was ok for a while but now all i think about is did i do the right thing 

  • Rose_d
    Rose_d Member Posts: 144
    edited December 2012

    I agree with the others who have urged you not to deny yourself treatment because of a fear of the side effects.  You really don't know how you will react to the treatment and I think for the vast majority of people the treatment was not as bad as we expected it would be.  None of it is fun and not one of us wanted to do chemo, radiation, etc. but you are young and strong and will get through it.  I remember after my first chemo treatment thinking, "how can I POSSIBLY do this 7 more times?!".  But I did and now it's over, hopefully for good.

    If you do end up having a bad reaction to any of the treatment you could always stop but you should do everything you can to fight this disease.

    I remember when I first came to these boards, it felt like those who had finished treatment were just stronger than I was and must not have been as scared as I was.  Trust me when I tell you that all of us felt the same way you did when we were in your shoes.  I decided that all I needed to do was show up - didn't need to think of myself as strong or as a  'fighter'.  I just needed to put on my shoes, walk out the door and show up.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    Rose

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    crying, I am so sorry for the torture you are enduring. These decisions are some of the hardest parts of cancer for some people.

    Your fears are perfectly legitimate and nobody --least of all Yours Truly-- can or should tell or advise or pressure you on what to do. It's one of those topics that is never a good idea to get advice on, especially from strangers. It is almost like asking others whether your should marry a specific person - there are so many compelling and competing assessments of goals and values. In this case, you must assess the unknowns of taking treatment versus the unknowns of not taking it. No one here has the knowledge to tell you, in your case, how those two sides balance out.

    The only thing I can recommend is that you be clear about what the recommendations for treatment are in your case, and that you research the good and the bad. Armed with knowledge, you might then be able to trust your instinct (which relies partly on knowledge).

    Don't get or refuse treatment because people tell you to - whatever happens! The only person I recommend you listen to with that much intent to follow is an expert in the area - and that's you!

    Godspeed in whatever you decide to do. This forum is here as support no matter what your course of action.

  • Alicethecat
    Alicethecat Member Posts: 535
    edited December 2012

    Hello Crying

    I'm the biggest wuss around. Was terrified of the thought of chemo therapy and any side-effects.

    However, I have to say that having an upper left molar out recently was much worse than any breast cancer treatment!

    The treatment is very good today - meds in the drip to stop any allergic reactions or sickness - and the outcomes are getting better all the time.

    Have a look at Predict.co.uk, which takes into account the effect of treatments such as chemo and Herceptin.

    I did have a few side-effects but they were manageable and I'm out the other side. Just on an antibody infusion called Herceptin now.

    Do your research, have a chat with the docs and make your decision.

    If this wuss can do it, so can you!

    Best wishes

    Alice

  • Linda1966
    Linda1966 Member Posts: 633
    edited December 2012

    Thanks for clarifying Crying. Im so sorry your going through this, second guessing ourselves is human nature i think.

    I too was just DCIS before surgery, with small idc found in the breast tissue and a lymph node once the pathology was performed on the removed breast. Its a hell of a shock isnt it Frown. Due to the lymph node involvement my personal decision to me was a no brainer. Figured the rotten stuff had already started trying to spread out so I followed the recommended treatment course and am well out the other side now.

    Id still say do more research, talk to others of your age group in the young forum, talk to the survivors of Pagets, really get to understand the pros and cons of chemo and herceptin versus not taking them. Its ony been a few months so its not too late to start treatment I would have though, should you decide to do so. Athena has it right though, none of us can tell you what to do, we can only suggest or advise what we would do if we were in your shoes.

    Your not alone, Crying. We all have a fear of recurrance or progression and as I said earlier, there are some women who have done everything right, done everything they were advised to do by their dr's and still progressed to higher stages or had recurrances. Theres also many who havent and are still NED all these years later. I guess for most of us, we just do what we have to, to better our odds. Will I recur? no idea. But i have had genuine peace of mind in knowing if it does come back, i can fight it again and again if I have to. Could I lose the fight, sure, but Ive enjoyed these years since my treatment finished, been able to run my shop, met some amazing women (from BCO) and while my life isnt perfect (a lotto win would be nice Tongue Out), Im living it with no regrets. 

    Your decision not to do any treatment, may be the right one for you still, or it may have been the right decision for you when you made it and now the right thing may be to contact your onc and start treatment. Sadly we cant tell you, its really what can you live with. Will not doing treatment weight on your mind and stop you from enjoying life to the best of your ability? Can you put this behind you and not fret about whether you should have done treatment?

    The advantage we early stage ladies have, at least in my mind, is that our cancer was found so much earlier than many. I shouldnt have been having my first mammo till I was 50, I had no symtoms, no lumps and no idea anything would be found. I simply went because I knew I was entitled to a free mammo every 2 years after 40 and even then I was slack and didnt bother the first 2 years lol. I cant see into the future but I think its safe to say, Id have been in deep trouble if I hadnt gone along for that mammo, specially with the lymph involvement so personally I feel really lucky that I was dx'd so early.

    I know it probably doesnt feel like it, but you were also lucky in that you were taken seriously by your dr's while in your early 30's. Weve seen many women having to fight hard to be taken seriously by dr's who tell them, your too young, its not breast cancer. And regardless of anything else, all known BC was cut out of your body when you had the masectomy. That should bring you some peace of mind. The adjuvant therapy is designed to "hopefully" kill off any cells that may or may not have started spreading thru your body. In your case your pathology on the node removed was negative so thats a good sign.

    I hope im helping and not confusing matters further. Just want you to know your not alone and its not to late to do further treatment should you chose to do so. Whether you do or dont do treatment, I hope you have another 40 years of BC free life that you live to the fullest.

  • rozem
    rozem Member Posts: 1,375
    edited December 2012

    Crying  

      I was diagnosed her2 positive aswell at 42 (young by BC standards).  This is not your typical BC.  Her2 is more aggressive then her2- tumors, they grow more quickly and have the potiental to spread more easily. Do not let this scare you, the good news is that the prognosis for her 2 positive cancer has improved dramatically with Herceptin.  This is why your onc is recommending Herceptin and chemo.  Studies have shown that herceptin works best when combined with chemo.  Chemo is certainly not easy but most ladies here will tell you that you get through it, and when its done it does become a distant memory.  Sounds like your cancer was caught early which is great.  Speak to your doctors, they will be able to give you more information on side effects, risk vs benefit of treatment etc on your particular case with your stats.

    please join us on the triple positive thread -Her2 forum - there are lots of ladies of all ages who have gone through or are currently in treatment.  Its a great place to ask questions from people who've "been there"


  • crying
    crying Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2012

    thank you everyone for your support. i still haven't gotten to any decision. when i had to go through the surgery it was not that hard to make the decision. i guess there was no other way out then. My onco still thinks i will benefit a lot from the tx and i know i will, but i feel like the odds are against me even after treatment having two kinds of cancer and ER and Her2 positive. I will update you guys if i change my mind.

  • Texas357
    Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited December 2012

    You asked for opinions, and while the choice is entirely yours, I feel compelled to point out that the most important possible "side effect" of treatment is increasing your odds for survival.

    When I was diagnosed, I wanted to know that I'd thrown the book at this disease with no regrets, and no "what ifs". The fortunate thing is that there are treatments to help women who are ER+ and HER2+. If you're feeling swallowed up by statistics and odds, and all the negative side effects, consider that you could easily be one who sails through treatment. You could be one who simply moves on with her life and never looks back. Don't let your mind automatically assume the worst.

    I experienced just about every side effect in the book. Was it tough? Sure, sometimes it was. Was I miserable 100% of the time? Absolutely not! The treatment and the fight were central to my life for a while but I feel that in many ways I'm better for the experience.

    One of my favorite sayings is, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." I kept that posted where I would stare at it every day.

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