What could nurses do to better help you during treatment?

well, not being actively rude would help. My husband was treated last year at a major cancer center, and when the nurse addressing him by his legal first name, I said, you know everyone calls him by this nickname - it might make it more comfortable for him if you used that name.
Her answer - if you want us to call him that, why don't you change his name legally! Very bitchy tone.

However, when the doctors' nurse totally fouled up the scheduling for his first day of chemo, the head chemo nurse was my total support, made a real effort to get what he needed. And apologizing for the messed-up actions of others.

So, maybe, being your patient's advocate, being gentle and kind, is what we want the most.

Check out what these woman are saying on a no-reconstruction thread. http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=82&id=789067&page=56   My hospital experience was pretty good. I didn't have chemo. My RADs nurses were GREAT! My oncologist & his office are a different story(but I don't deal with nurses there). BTW I'm a nurse.

Particularily disturbing to me is the employee health dept decision on flu vaccine. A nurse was involved. Here's that story....

I had bilateral cancer with bilat nodes removed. That leaves me a "lymphedema risk"in both arms. At the hospital where I work, if you don't recieve the flu vaccine, you are required to wear a mask for all patient care. I asked if I could get the vaccine in my leg, not wanting to risk a localized reaction that could trigger lymphedema in my arms. The CDC guidlines state that the thigh can be use as an alternate site. The emp health RN took my concern to the medical director. I was told "no" because the vaccine was only tested with the deltoid site. The empl health RN also told me she spoke the nurse manager on the cancer unit of the hospital I work. She was told that if I was a patient on her unit, the doctor would be involved & it would be decided which arm they could use for needle sticks & BPs. But that Patients in my situation "indeed" get needle sticks & BPs taken in at risk extremities.  I'm furious because in the rest of the hospital, BPs can be taken in the leg & IVs can be done in the feet or neck, blood draws in the feet. The doctor just has to order it!

So for the rant..........but what you can do if you ever run into a patient in my situation, is advocate for her. I have outpatient surgery in 1 1/2 weeks, hopefully they will accomodate me. I'm more afraid of the needles & sequencial BPs than I am of possible having another cancer(uterine CA is being ruled out this time)

My nurses and techs were great.  The only complaints I have about any of them is that sometimes it was hard to get hold of someone when I had a concern so "return those phone calls promptly!" would be number one on my hit parade. And watch the phone numbers. I'd call, leave a message with my cell phone number for a call back and they'd call my home number and leave a message, that I'm not going to get until after the pharmacy closes...